DISCLAIMER: The characters herein are used without permission. No infringement intended.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I can't listen to music anymore. Almost every single song makes me want to write about the two of them. I think my brain is stuck... "I'm done" belongs to the Pussycat Dolls and is the third song in this playlist: 8tracks.com/jay357/she-s-always-a-woman-to-me
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
FEEDBACK: To JayTheGreenling[at]yahoo.com

I'm Done
By jay357


After falling asleep in the Asari's arms, Miranda woke to the unfamiliar feeling of being spooned from behind. A slightly cooler body was pressing into her back, soft mounds clinging to her still sweaty skin. A tiny smile tucked at the corners of her lips, unbidden, but not entirely unwelcome.

I wasn't looking for this

A blue hand traced the Human's chest lazily, and goosebumps formed where nails scraped over soft skin. Miranda sighed. She didn't regret her decision to stay, and yet ... she did. In a way. Staying overnight was not her style, but somehow it had felt right to slip into bed again. To kiss the Asari who had still been half asleep. To claim her body and her mind, forcing the other woman to meld with her, for the first time not caring to inhibit her thoughts, laying them all out in the open. That's what she regretted. Or would come to regret. She was almost sure of it. She had never been one for emotional declarations or expressing feelings of fondness. Nor did she want to label what they had.

What is this

Starting off, they had both known what they were getting into. They weren't friends. Certainly not lovers. But they did have an arrangement that satisfied both of them for a time. Until Miranda had noticed the change in the Asari, felt the distance the blue alien was trying to keep during their melds. But sometimes the longing and desperation in the other biotic had shimmered through, forcing the Human to be less gentle and more vigorous in her attempt to ignore the emotions that were imposed on her.

I don't know

It had all been so simple before she had met the beautiful Asari. Her days had consisted of work, and work alone, and she had spent her nights losing herself in some stranger's arms. Never the same person twice. Until she had come along.

You know I was doing just fine

By myself

On my own

The appearance of the blue biotic had changed everything. It had changed Miranda's view on sex, biotics, aliens... It had changed more than she even cared to admit. And the changes had led to this moment. Lying in bed, being held close to an alien she had just made lo... just had sex with.

Tell me how to stop this feeling

Miranda shook her head, just slightly, trying to rid herself of the thoughts that had just entered her mind. Again. Her previous behaviour was unacceptable. The woman was beautiful, for sure, but love was an emotion immaterial for Miranda Lawson.

I don't want to fall in love

What she had come to cherish were the moment when she could let go. Once a month or once a week, she would just let go of all restrictions, of all proper conduct, and just be herself. Or one version of it. The young Asari had never meant anything to her, not really. She had become an incredibly good fuck, given time, but nothing more.

Just want to have a little fun

But that had been then. And now it was all different. A few hours ago she had stood there, looking at the sleeping form, not knowing what to do. Feelings unknown and unwanted had started to well up inside of her. And she had been afraid. Until she had uttered the one word she had never said on any of her visits before: Liara.

But then you came and swept me up and now I'm done, so done

Love was frightening. People behaved differently, they couldn't think straight anymore and logic was something to be sorely missed in a conversation with lovers. But as Miranda investigated her earlier demeanour, she came to realise that she was no different. Slipping into bed again to hold the cool Asari body close to hers was by no means logical or prudent behaviour.

Falling madly deeply

I surprise myself enough to find

For a split second the human biotic thought about fleeing the Normany. Just to get away, to be able to think properly and without the distracting strokes of soft hands. A shaky breath escaped her lips and when all air had left her lungs, Miranda carefully wiggled out of her pleasant prison to sit on the edge of the bed, looking at the Asari quizzically. The sleeping form would not provide any answers, but it was a surprisingly nice feeling to look upon the relaxed features of the scientist.

That what's begun is love, and now I'm done, so done

I'm done

Trembling hands reached out to trace the reptilian-like skin of the sleeping woman, exploring the intriguing shape of the head crest and facial markings. In her heart she knew she was lost, but she was not yet ready to declare defeat. The only thing her stubborn mind admitted to, was that she did not want to leave the Asari's side. Not yet anyway.

I can't imagine right now

Standing here, without you

Part of Miranda knew that she couldn't lie to herself, let alone the Asari. The meld they had shared earlier had made sure of that. The Human had let go of all boundaries and fears, had opened herself up to be scrutinized and taken. And the other woman had. So hiding her feelings was not an option. All she could do was stay here and risk the pain she was so afraid of. But it wouldn't be that bad, would it? Somehow everything was easier when the young biotic was around.

To think that I tried to ignore

What I felt, what I knew

I could never stop this feeling

Blue eyes bored into hers, and the Human couldn't help but swallow awkwardly. Her still extended hand was slowly creeping back towards her, hoping the Asari wouldn't notice. But midair a blue hand grasped hers and pulled it towards glistening lips. Soft kisses rained upon her hand, making her sigh and mewl, while she was desperately trying to remain silent.

Thank you for not letting go

When I said

Let me go

Miranda let out a deep breath, not knowing where all the air was suddenly coming from. Her lips quivered slightly, not knowing whether she should smile or cry or both, when the blue form pushed herself up and crawled closer, resting her head on the brunette's legs. Understanding eyes were telling her more than words would ever be able to. Tears were forming in her own eyes, and for once it felt good to let them out. The faint smile on the Asari's face faltered a little, but did not vanish entirely, when the alien said:

"I know."

Thank you for timing, thank you for finding

Thank you for not believing me, baby, when I said

Her head went down, intend on kissing the gorgeous woman with full force, expecting her to pull back at the last moment. But when their lips met, Miranda felt what she had so desperately needed. Acceptance. Love. And a little despair because it was all so unexpected and confusing for the Asari herself.

I don't want to fall in love

Just want to have a little fun

Coming up for air, Miranda rested her forehead on the blue head below. Her breath mingled with the ragged breathing of the alien, and she forced herself not to bend down and kiss her again. She had never expected to fall in love. Nor had she expected to fall in love with a blue Asari.

But then you came and swept me up and now I'm done, so done

Falling madly deeply

But when she looked into trusting sky blue eyes, Miranda knew it couldn't be more perfect. The only thing which had held her back was her fear. And there was no need to be afraid anymore. The scientist had read all her fears and needs and wishes through the meld, and she was not afraid.

I surprise myself enough to find

That what's begun is love, and now I'm done, so done

I'm done

"I love you, Miranda."

I wasn't looking for this, and now I'm done

I'm done

The End

Return to Mass Effects Fiction

Return to Main Page