DISCLAIMER: Buffy the Vampire Slayer and all the slayerettes belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. No infringement intended.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Originally posted to my fanfiction.net account under the same title.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
FEEDBACK: To howlingturtle[at]hotmail.com
The Joys of a Straightrazor
By SilverTurtle
Buffy dodged a blow from one of the large pustulous demons hidden in this cave. With her were a handful of newly activated Slayers, all armed to the teeth, and putting the skills they'd learned since being taken under the new Council's wing to good use. She briefly surveyed the battle scene; her mini-Slayers (Slayerettes, Faith called them) were working in two teams of three fighting, and getting the better of, the demons in the cave. Buffy, as the oldest living Slayer, faced her demons alone.
She managed to dispatch her demon rather quickly, and without getting a drop of demon-goo on her she was proud to note. She stood back to watch her trainees take on these demons, ready to step in if it got to be too much for them.
But it looked as though her girls would defeat these beasts handily and they could all go home.
Of course, looks can be deceiving.
Buffy felt a glob of something, she hesitated to identify what, adhere to the back of her head and drip down her back as a flying demon she'd never seen before swooped from the cave roof behind her. It landed in front of her and growled. She wasted no time in engaging it in battle.
Unfortunately for the demon it had done the one thing that enraged Buffy more than anything, it had soiled her outfit, and so the battle was pathetically short. Buffy, in a huff, could take out a nest of vamps in under a minute; one measly demon with wings for arms and spat goop stood no chance against her. Its head rolled sadly along the floor, an expression of demony surprise still locked on the face.
When Buffy turned back to her mini-Slayers' battles she found dead demons and six girls standing well and whole with expressions of mixed relief and disgust on their faces.
"What is that stuff?" a particularly outspoken girl asked. "It's like all over you. Gross!"
Buffy sighed, another outfit ruined by demon hunting. "I don't know what it is and I don't care. What I do care about is getting home and washing it off. And since we're all done here I think we should go. Fast. I can feel it congealing."
The girls shuddered.
"Oh, and one of you grab that head. We should have Willow and Andrew take a look at it. I've never seen that kind before."
She turned her back and started walking out, missing the hurried game of nose-goes played behind her to determine who would carry the 'prize'. The girl that lost gagged in revulsion, but pulled out a burlap sack and stuffed the head inside, then hurried to catch up to the rest of the group.
They ran home.
Buffy immediately hit the showers while the mini-Slayers relaxed. Except for the one with the head. She took it to Willow, told her about Buffy's fight with it and the mysterious goo, and was resolve-faced into helping with the research.
Ten minutes of digging through musty tomes and Willow let out an "Ah ha! Found it," she read the entry and quickly realized something that Buffy would not be happy about, "oh no. Oh no, oh no, oh no."
Just then the water from the upstairs shower shut off. Willow waited, shoulders hunched, for the outburst she knew would be coming.
She was not disappointed as Buffy let out a hair raising shriek, "WILLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!"
Willow sighed and trudged up the stairs.
She found a handful of girls, including Faith, standing and armed in the hallway.
"B?" Faith called through the door, "You okay in there?"
"No, Faith," Buffy spat, "I am not O.K. Get. Me. Willow."
Faith's eyes widened hearing the venom in Buffy's voice, she turned her head and spotted Willow, with relief she called back, "Already here, B."
Too fast for anybody to see, Buffy opened the bathroom door, yanked Willow in, and closed it again with a resounding slam.
Faith decided that Buffy probably wouldn't want an audience for whatever was going on and shooed the Slayerettes off, clearing the hall. She remained, as second in command of the Slayerettes it was important she kept herself informed of any major problems with number one…she was also just really curious to know what had B's panties in a knot. She listened through the door.
"Yes, Buffy, I identified the demon," she heard Willow say, "Water makes that stuff harden."
Buffy's voice was icy, "I noticed." Faith could practically feel the icicles dangling off those words. "Get it off me."
"I can't."
"Can't, or won't?" She could hear Buffy was more curious than upset, and she allowed herself to relax a little. At least B won't go killin' Red, she thought. Yet, she amended.
"Can't, Buffy. While the demon itself is not immune to magic, that stuff is meant to protect its young. It's completely invulnerable to magical manipulation. If you'd waited for us to research before jumping in the shower we could have gotten it out with a little bit of oil, now I'm not sure how to get it out."
Faith heard Buffy sigh heavily. "Faith, I know you're still out there. Could you get Andrew for me, please?"
She obeyed without protest, even though curiosity gnawed at her guts about what the heck was going on, and fetched the little geek by the simple expediency of tossing him over her shoulder and carting him to the bathroom.
She set him on his feet again and Willow opened the door. Both Andrew and Faith could see the mass of hardened guck gripping the back of Buffy's head. "Whoa, B! That's some serious product you've got there!"
Buffy did not appreciate the attempted humor, though she could see Willow covering a grin with her hand. Faith grinned openly, knowing Buffy wouldn't take it too personally. Between them they'd seen more than their fair share of demon mess, but never had any of it ever calcified on their heads, this was new and, if it weren't happening to Buffy, it would be pretty damn funny.
Hell, Faith thought, it's pretty damn funny because it's Buffy.
Andrew looked at the mass thoughtfully, "Why am I here?"
Buffy looked at him beseechingly, "You're like, the Martha Stewart of our group, so if anyone had any ideas on how to get this out without trashing my hair, it would be you. Please help?"
Andrew nodded, pleased with the comparison and veiled compliment to his skills. "I see. Well, we can try some things."
And try they did. They had Faith working like a dog, literally playing fetch, for two hours gathering various substances and containers to mix up concoctions meant to grease the thing off. But none worked and Andrew ran out of ideas.
Finally, defeated, Buffy sighed and held out a straight razor to Faith. "Cut it off."
"Me?" Faith was incredulous.
"Yes you. Willow gets nervous handling anything metal, Andrew's too excitable to give any sort of blade to, and I'm not letting the mini-Slayers anywhere near my neck with a weapon! You're the only one I trust with a blade to know what they're doing."
It was kind of sweet, in a backhanded compliment way. She knew that she and Buffy had a bad history with blades, what with all the stabbing, so the fact that Buffy would willingly hand her a weapon and turn her back was a trust that Faith could not take lightly.
Faith took the razor and cleared the others out of the bathroom, closing the door. She and Buffy both heard them wander towards the study, where the demon's head still resided on a table.
"You sure about this, B?"
"Yup, cut it all off."
"I meant me." Faith said, gesturing to herself with the razor, "With a blade. Near your head."
"I trust you Faith. With my life." Buffy's eyes met Faith's in the mirror and Faith felt herself go warm all over.
Am I blushing? She was. Feelings she'd suppressed for years started to stir in her heart. Brutally she stomped them down. "And now," Buffy continued, oblivious to Faith's internal battle, "I'm trusting you with my hair. If I want this thing off, it's all got to go."
Faith sighed and nodded. She would miss Buffy's hair. Though she was curious what the natural color was. Buffy had been dying her hair since long before the two had met, and now that she was going bald she'd have to let it grow out so Faith would finally get to see that natural color.
She began to slice away. Her hands were steady and gentle as she carefully cut Buffy's hair, supporting the mass with one hand so it wouldn't yank off patches of Buffy's scalp.
It took a long time, and they were silent as Faith worked. But finally she was able to drop the former goo to the floor.
Buffy looked like she'd lost a fight with a lawn mower. There were bald patches everywhere and none of the remaining hair was cut even with any of the rest.
But Buffy laughed as she surveyed the damage to her precious hair. "Oh!" she wheezed, "I look like one of those cartoon characters that got shredded by a gang of cats! Oh my god!" She lost herself to laughter.
Faith wondered if maybe the goo had a psychological effect Red hadn't warned her about. Still, she cracked a grin at seeing Buffy so carefree and watched Buffy with soft eyes.
When Buffy finally calmed she looked at Faith, noticing for the first time the look in Faith's eyes. She'd seen that look before, in Angel's eyes, and Spike's, and in Faith's own eyes when they were younger, before Faith had started working for the mayor. She hadn't recognized it back then, but she knew it now. Love. Faith loved her. And probably always had, if her memory of Faith wasn't deceiving her. Her breath caught in her chest. She realized now just how badly she must have hurt Faith, over and over again throughout the years, and still Faith was here.
Faith tilted her head, "B?"
Buffy snapped out of her reverie, "Hm?"
"We gonna finish this thing or what? You wanna run around looking like you stuck your finger in a socket?"
Buffy found it indescribably cute the way Faith tilted her head and grinned, her eyebrows quirked just so. Heat suffused her cheeks. I'm blushing! Because of Faith! Faith! Still, she is really cute looking like that, and so very sexy. Buffy's thoughts derailed once more into a much steamier bathroom scenario than the one currently in progress.
Faith was starting to get worried, B was acting stranger than usual and it was starting to creep her out. "Umm, B?"
Buffy snapped herself out of her thoughts, a pleasant shiver running up her spine, and said "Let's do this."
"Right," Faith replied, still unsure. She gamely took up position behind Buffy again and wet her hair with a spray bottle, and then she carefully began scraping away the remnants of Buffy's hair.
Her hands were running all over Buffy's sensitive scalp, the feel of it making goose bumps rise along Buffy's arms. She had no idea Faith could have this kind of effect on her. She liked it. It was exciting.
Touching Buffy for all that time didn't left Faith unaffected. The older slayer sat quietly, submissive, and let Faith do as she pleased with a blade in her hands. It turned Faith on, that trust, that compliance, and the look on Buffy's face as she worked could only be described as blissful. After some time had passed Faith set down the razor and trailed her fingers across Buffy's newly bald skull, searching out any areas she might have missed. She found none.
Buffy thought her hands were really warm.
Faith's voice was huskier than usual when she announced, "All done, B."
The oldest living Slayer opened her eyes, a smile on her face, and turned to face her sister Slayer. She stood, and because there wasn't a whole lot of space between them to start with this put them in very close proximity. Buffy put her hands on Faith's shoulders and leaned up, her lips brushing lightly over Faith's as she whispered, "Thank you."
Faith's eyes fluttered shut, her hands reached out of their own accord and grabbed Buffy's hips pulling the older woman flush against her and allowing for more solid lip to lip contact.
Happily, Buffy went with it, kissing Faith for all she was worth.
Ending the passionate kiss Faith exhaled, "God, B, we shoulda done that years ago."
Buffy could only agree, "We've got a lot of time to make up for."
"What?" Faith asked.
Buffy didn't answer, just opened the bathroom door and rushed to her room, dragging Faith along with her.
They didn't emerge all night. Or at breakfast the next morning. Or lunch.
When they finally did venture forth from Buffy's room, sated and grinning like madwomen they found all the Scoobies and a bunch of Slayerettes underneath a banner reading: "It's About Damn Time!"
The End