DISCLAIMER: I'm not George Lucas. I don't own these characters. Please don't sue me.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Set after the Legacy of the Force series, but before the Fate of the Jedi series. The title means "to mess with someone (lit: to brandish a saber)" in Mando'a.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
SERIES: All Helmet, No Head
Mirta sat on one of the rails that surrounded the upper balconies of the Jedi Temple on Coruscant. The noises of the city washed over her. The smell, too, but she didn't mind that overly much. There were worse smells. She didn't move when Ben Skywalker came to stand next to her. Acknowledging the Jedi, even little ones, tended to encourage their meddling.
"You don't like it here," he said at last.
Mirta shot him a sideways glance. "I don't?"
"No." Ben shook his head. She thought he might be trying not to smile. "But you like Jaina."
She sighed. She could feel the headache she was about to get looming over her. "Do I?"
"Yes, you do." She could hear the smug tone in his voice increasing. "Do you know what Jaina likes?"
"I'd say me, but that's clearly not the answer you want." Mirta was finally looking at him. He didn't even blink at her patented Fett stare.
"No, it's not." Ben reached into his robe and pulled out a flimsie. He waved it gently in the air. "Jaina likes starships."
Mirta raised an eyebrow. She didn't bother trying to take the flimsie. The kid clearly wanted to draw this out for some sort of personal enjoyment. After a few moments of her silence he gave in.
"I bet she'd like it a lot if you took her to see this." He handed the flimsie over. Mirta could swear he'd puffed his chest up. And he was certainly grinning like an idiot.
The flimsie was an advert for a floor show. Mirta didn't know they still did those, but apparently Coruscant had everything. Including floor shows of outdated starships. They were calling the clunkers "classics" and charging more credits to see them than was practical. The kid was right. Jaina would love it.
"What are you getting out of this?" Standing next to him, Mirta noticed that Ben had gotten taller. Kids grew fast.
"Nothing, just helping you out." Ben grinned harder.
"Right." Mirta shook her head. "Thanks."
"No problem!" Ben bounded away in youthful delight. Mirta wondered if she'd ever been that excited about helping someone else.
She found that Jedi often confounded her.
Mirta had really had no idea how much Jaina would love the show. Watching her circle an Alpha-3 Nimbus-class V-Wing was like watching a child at a petting zoo. Thankfully Jaina was generally just as happy muttering to herself as talking to Mirta about the ships which meant the Mandalorian could stand back and bask in her girlfriend's happiness. The thought was concerning, because until now Mirta hadn't thought of Jaina that way. She supposed, however, that it was inevitable. They were practically living together, after all.
"Are you just completely bored?" Jaina asked from beside her.
Mirta blinked several times in surprise; she didn't usually let people sneak up on her like that. "Um, no."
Jaina laughed lightly. "Yes you are." She wrapped her hand around Mirta's bicep and kissed her cheek. "Thank you."
"For being bored?" Mirta knew the question was stupid. Somehow Jaina brought the dumbest things out of her mouth.
"Yes," Jaina laughed again. "And for coming anyway. This is great!" She waved at the ships around them. "How did you know?"
"Ah." Mirta had the grace to look chagrined. "I might have had a little help, there."
"Who?" Jaina's eyes went from amused to hawk-like in seconds. Mirta pressed her lips together and shook her head, the corners of her mouth turning up. "Come on, who?" Mirta's smile got a little wider as she stood there silently. "Is that how this is going to be?" Mirta nodded. Hawk-like to stone. "Fine. Two can play at this game, aruetti."
The word for "traitor" was what let Mirta know she was in trouble. Jaina had her firmly by the arm and was dragging her toward a ship that resembled an X-Wing. The Jedi stopped in front of the red and white vessel and looked at her. "There is going to be a test when we're through here today, Mirta. If you don't pass, you won't be getting any sex tonight. Which is unfortunate, because bringing me here today was going to net you quite the evening."
Mirta wanted very badly to slap herself in the forehead. It wasn't a gesture she fell prey to often, but the situation seemed appropriate. She looked at Jaina piteously. "I'm sorry, cyar'ika. Have mercy?"
"Oh no," Jaina grinned. "No, you've made your bed." She patted Mirta's arm. "Ready?"
"What if I'm not?" Mirta shifted her weight in frustration. Jaina could be so farking capricious.
"Too bad." Jaina pointed at the starship. "This is the Aggressive ReConnaissance-170 starfighter, also known as the ARC-170 starfighter and Advanced Recon fighter. They were used extensively during the Clone Wars by the Republic and they're one of the predecessors of the X-Wing."
It continued like that for the rest of the day. Mirta thought her head might explode, she was so annoyed at Jaina. She really didn't care about any of this at all and could find little reason for her continued attention to the subject aside from the fact that she was rather fond of their evenings together. As the announcements heralding the end of the show came over the loudspeakers Jaina led them outside. Mirta sighed in relief at the end of her very boring history lesson. They sat down on a bench not far from the exhibit hall.
Jaina tucked her arm around Mirta and smiled. "Time for your test."
"Do we really have to do this?" Mirta asked. She could tell she was nearing the end of her tether.
"Only two questions." Jaina's statement was free of influence. She'd allow Mirta to decide either way. Ultimately the only thing she could do was nod. It was that or sleep alone, which Mirta had grown unaccustomed to. "First, how many times did you complain after I started lecturing?"
Mirta frowned. "I didn't."
"Right," Jaina grinned. "One more: do you know what that tells me?"
"No," Mirta drawled.
"It tells me you're a +very+ good girlfriend." Jaina kissed her, then. Mirta was so confused she could only let it happen.
When Jaina pulled away she said, "Does that mean I'm still getting sex tonight?"
The Jedi pretended to consider. "I don't know, you didn't know the answer to the second question." Mirta glared at her. She laughed and kissed her again. "Let's go home, di'kut."
"I resent that." Mirta said, a grin creeping back onto her face. "But only a little."
"Because it's true?" Jaina shot back. Her eyes twinkled with delight.
"No," Mirta said, taking Jaina's hand. "Because you don't really mean it."
"No." Mirta shook her head. "If you did, I wouldn't love you."
Jaina squeezed Mirta's hand, a silly look crossing her face. "I didn't know you did."
"Well, I do." Mirta could feel her neck flushing.
"Okay," she said. Her teeth were white in the fluorescent light of the city. She stood up, then, drawing Mirta with her.
They walked casually along the streets back towards the temple. Mirta wondered at Jaina's silence. She hadn't said anything in return. Maybe she didn't feel that way, but Mirta was sure she did. Or at least that she was pleased. Sometimes she longed for Ghes' sweet, straight-forward manner. Jaina was usually only straight-forward when it came to her job. The rest of her life was like a maze.
Mirta was unprepared for them to stop. She looked to Jaina in confusion, but the Jedi only smiled lopsidedly back at her. It reminded Mirta who Jaina's father was, and she flashed briefly to the awkward family moments that might descend if this went any farther. She shook her head to knock the thoughts away. It wasn't important. "What is it, Jaina?"
"I love you too, you know." Jaina's head was cocked to the side. Her eyes were nearly unreadable in street lights. "Though I don't think I knew until today."
"Me either," Mirta sighed. She was immensely relieved. "I think I owe Ben something big."
"Ben?" The confused look on Jaina's face lasted only a moment. "He's the one who gave you the idea for the floor show?"
Jaina laughed. "Of course he is."
"Of course he is?"
Jaina threw her arms around Mirta's neck and nodded into her shoulder. "Are you hungry?"
"Sure? And what do you mean 'of course he is?'"
Jaina just smiled at her and shook her head.
"No," Mirta said. "Just, no." Jaina smiled wider. "Seriously? Come on!" Jaina turned around and started walking again. Mirta stood there for a moment in disbelief. "Are you really going to do this?"
"Yep," Jaina said, the satisfaction in her voice evident.
"That is so cruel."
Jaina only laughed.
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