DISCLAIMER: Property of FOX, and whomever else. Not mine.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Post ep/Missing Scene (with slight spoilers) for "Humpty Dumpty". Yes, I loved that episode.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
Cameron walked into House's office. "How did you get into her house?"
He raised an eyebrow. "I unlocked the door."
"Is that why you sent me with Lisa? So you could steal my keys to get into her house? Well, I need them back."
"I don't have your keys. Wait. Your keys. Cuddy's house. I'm missing something here."
Cameron blushed, realizing from House's real confusion that House not only didn't take her keys but didn't know that she had a key to Lisa's house. She began to back away. House noticed.
"Get back here. You've got a key to Cuddy's house? Are you two...?"
"Are we two, what? Tennis partners? Communists? Lovers?"
"The last one." Cameron smiled proudly and nodded, meeting his eyes. "Then... some of that stuff was yours?"
"What, did you snoop through her underwear drawer?" Cameron looked at his face and realized that was a stupid question. Of course, he did.
"I didn't think that was her shirt..." House was musing to himself, playing with his cane. "And the tampons..." He looked back to Cameron. "You use Super tampons?"
If it was anyone else, Cameron would have been offended. But she was enjoying watching House's face as he came to all these realizations. "No, those are hers. But I heard you found the thong." His eyes widened. "Yeah. That was mine."
"What, are you moving your clothing in one piece at a time?"
Cameron smiled. She was going to enjoy telling him exactly how her underwear got into Cuddy's drawer. "No. It kinda fell in. See, Lisa was changing when I came back to the bedroom so she had the drawer open. She was then rather distracted by, well, me. It didn't get closed immediately. When she... took it off, it got flung. Into the drawer. Which was subsequently closed when I pushed her back up against it and kissed her so hard it made her toes curl."
House's mouth was open by this point. Allison noticed Cuddy walking by, looking rather despondent. She thought she could use some cheering up, along with the added bonus of seeing how far she could truly shock Gregory House. Pulling her lover into the office, she said, "It went something like this:" and proceeded to pin Lisa against the table by putting one hand on the hard surface on either side of her. Cameron kissed her, slowly at first, letting her know that everything was going to be alright, but with increasing passion and fervor to the point that when they pulled away, they were gasping for breath.
Allison began to walk out hand in hand with Lisa. She stopped when she heard House speak. "Cameron? You left them on the table." His voice was strained somewhat, but with good reason.
She looked back, and saw him pointing to her keys. He was gripping his cane so hard that his knuckles were white and she grinned, grabbing them with her hand, not letting go of Lisa. She waggled her fingers at him, quirking her mouth suggestively. Dropping the keys in her pocket, she reached over and put her free hand on Cuddy's arm. She murmured, "I love you," into her ear.
Cuddy smiled as they left the office and walked down the hallway. "I really don't want to know."
Return to House, MD Fiction
Return to Main Page