DISCLAIMER: I don't own these characters. If I did this scene would have been what played out on screen instead of what we saw, there would have been a lot more of this kind of stuff before Jessica's maternity leave, and Natalia would not be pregnant! This is my version of the 'sex talk and the Josh kiss' episodes. I've taken some license, by implying that Rafe already knows about his mom and Olivia, since I hated the Rafe ninja moment interrupting what was otherwise some beautiful and romantic stuff, even though it stopped short of what it should have been. I think Otalia and their fans definitely need a little light hearted romance right now with Natalia still gone and Olivia once again getting piled on by the writers. Hope you enjoy.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
Kissing Josh Lewis
By Marymartin
"You kissed Josh Lewis!" Natalia Rivera barged into Olivia Spencer's office, slamming the door behind her with a resounding thud.
"Huh?" Olivia looked up from the reports she'd been reviewing. Natalia was standing in front of her, hands on hips, and a furious expression on her face.
"You kissed Josh Lewis," she repeated a second time.
A half-dozen excuses popped into Olivia's brain. 'The car wouldn't start. This pace of yours is driving me nuts. Do you have any idea how long it's been since I've been laid? He kissed me. It just happened. It didn't mean anything.'
What came out of her mouth though was, "How do you know that?"
Natalia shot her a withering look. "Springfield is not that big. Frank saw you and he took great delight in telling me about it."
Olivia's heart sank. 'Shit. Was Frank Cooper ever going to move out of their orbit?'
"It was just a kiss, Natalia. It didn't mean anything."
Natalia rolled her eyes. "It didn't mean anything?!" she said in disbelief.
She rounded on Olivia again, placing her hands on the desk and leaning forward. "You told me that you're in love with me. You told me that I was so worth waiting for. You told me that whatever we have, it's what you want. So how could it not mean anything?"
Olivia sighed. "We didn't have sex, Natalia. It was just a kiss. It didn't mean anything," she repeated, wondering if Natalia could tell she was only telling her half the truth. Already sexually frustrated, especially with the tortoise-like pace things had moved in the romance department with Natalia, Josh's kiss had been like a match to dry tinder. At another time and place in Olivia's life they would have ended up in the back seat of her car going at it like rabbits. It had taken every bit of willpower to walk away.
Natalia was pacing now, biting her lower lip. "I don't understand you. You haven't kissed me, but you stand in the middle of Springfield and kiss your ex-husband where anyone can see you." She stopped. "Sooo, Olivia, why did you kiss Josh?"
The way Natalia drawled the word 'so' never failed to send Olivia's blood racing and today was no exception. She thought she had worked through her earlier sexual frustration but this conversation was making her squirm all over again.
Olivia struggled for a moment, wondering just how honest she could be with Natalia. Finally she decided just to tell her the truth. "Natalia, I've always had a healthy sex life. It's part of who I am. Since I got sick, the heart transplant, and recovery – well, it's probably the longest I've ever gone without sex. Josh just happened to be in the right place at exactly the wrong time for my libido."
Natalia did the math in her mind. Stunned, she tried to wrap her head around it. Eighteen months. Eighteen months was the longest Olivia had ever gone without sex!! Already intimidated by Olivia's reputation in the bedroom, Natalia's deep insecurities about how she, who had exactly two sexual partners in her entire 34 years, was ever going to be enough for the woman she loved, ramped up another level. Her fears must have been telegraphed to Olivia by her expression, because the older woman smiled at her tentatively.
The hotel owner's conversation with Blake Marler earlier in the day had helped to clarify her feelings on the subject of sex and love. She loved Natalia Rivera like she had never loved anyone before. Emotionally it was on a very different level than the other relationships she had with men; much more intimate and deeper. Olivia could no more imagine her life without Natalia being part of it than she could imagine living without her daughters. If they had to sacrifice some of the things other couples shared for that to happen, she was prepared to do so, or at the very least, give it the old college try.
Clearing her throat and trying for once to choose her words carefully, Olivia said nervously, "Natalia, I love you. I don't want to screw this up. I don't want to do anything that is going to make you uncomfortable, with me or with your faith. If it comes down to choosing sex or being with you, I'm willing to do whatever it takes to be with you."
Natalia was incredulous. Had Olivia just said that she didn't expect them to be anything but platonic roommates? To Natalia, sex and love went hand in hand. There was no separating the two, which is why her one experience with Frank Cooper had been such a monumental mistake.
She took a deep breath, shoved aside the butterflies that seemed to have taken residence in her stomach, and broached a subject she had never been comfortable talking about. Sex. "Olivia, I love you. I know you're still worried about my faith and how I am going to reconcile the church's teachings with us, but I firmly believe that falling in love is a gift from God. God loves us and he wants us to be happy."
Olivia looked skeptical. "You're not ready."
Natalia sighed and rubbed her suddenly pounding temples for a minute while she gathered her thoughts. "Not you too! In the last two months I've had to deal with Doris Wolfe and the Coopers taking shots at me. Frank, and Father Ray keep telling me that my feelings for you are wrong. My son refuses to even sit down and talk to me about us he is so upset." She pursed her lips, exhaling audibly. "I didn't expect to have to do battle with you too. I thought we were on the same side."
"We are on the same side. I …" but the rest of what Olivia was going to say trailed off when Natalia interrupted her.
"I'm not finished!" She moved closer to the desk and stared into wary green eyes. "I want all of it. I want to share everything with you that two people in love share."
She searched Olivia's face for some reaction. "Don't you want that too?" she asked uncertainly.
Olivia was quick to reassure. "Yes." She pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed. The throbbing between her legs confirmed just how much her body wanted 'everything two people in love share' even though her mind was still somewhat confused about the details of how she was going to accomplish 'everything' with another woman.
"So why were you kissing Josh Lewis instead of me?"
"Well for one thing I didn't think you'd want me to kiss you in the middle of Main Street."
Natalia shot her a 'you've got to be kidding me' kind of look.
Olivia tried again. "Well, I've been waiting on you to give me some kind of sign that you were ready." Not entirely true, but close enough. The truth was that Olivia Spencer, for the first time in her life, was scared of going after what she wanted like a pit bull, consequences be damned. She was petrified of making the wrong move; terrified that one misstep with Natalia would not only derail their budding romance but also irrevocably damage their friendship and destroy the family they had created.
Natalia cocked an eyebrow. "A sign," she repeated. She set her purse down on a nearby chair and walked around to Olivia's side of the desk. "Stand up," she commanded. It was said in the exact tone she had used in Emma's classroom. 'You stop,' she'd said then, halting Olivia in the doorway when she would have walked away. Olivia stood.
"Come here."
Olivia came, stopping only when she was toe to toe with the smaller woman. Natalia looped her arms around Olivia's neck and scooted closer, until they were barely touching. Biting her lip again, something she did when she was nervous, she looked up at Olivia. "This kind of sign?" she asked hopefully.
The next move was Olivia's. She made it. She put her hands on Natalia's waist, dipped her head and leaned in. Conscious of Natalia's eyes fluttering shut, she tilted her head and found her mouth. It was a chaste kiss, gentle and brief. Nervously, Olivia looked at Natalia, waiting for her reaction.
Natalia dropped her hands to her sides and took a step back. "I thought Olivia Spencer always did things big," she challenged. "If that's the way you kissed Josh, then maybe I do have nothing to complain about."
Olivia went from pleased with herself to furious in the space of ten seconds. Natalia barely had time to register that Olivia's smile had been replaced with her "Olivia Freakin' Spencer takes no prisoners' expression before the older woman pounced. She cupped Natalia's face firmly, the pressure insistent, as she guided Natalia to her again. This kiss was anything but gentle. It was warm and arousing. Desire was building inside Natalia, her breath deepening and her body straining to move closer. Olivia too, was absorbed, beset by a totally new awareness of the woman in her arms – all heat and softness at the same time.
Natalia's lips parted inviting the full intimacy of the kiss and Olivia gave herself over to the sensations engulfing her. Both women reveled in the embrace, in the joy of their love for each other, each totally absorbed in the kiss. Finally, with a supreme effort, Natalia broke away, discovering that at some point she had braced herself against Olivia's chest for balance. Flushing scarlet, when she realized just where her hands were resting, she dropped them to her sides like she had been burned with hot coals.
Olivia was breathing hard, just like she had run a marathon, and Gus' heart was beating so rapidly she thought it might thrash its way right out of her chest. She swallowed convulsively and tried to get herself under control. Every part of her body was tingling and from the way Natalia had responded to that second kiss, there was no longer any question that they definitely did work and they were finally on the right path to taking the next step in their relationship.
"Better?" Olivia asked, her mouth twitching at the corners.
"Much. I can definitely see where you got your reputation. If you kissed Josh like that I may have to kill him." Natalia's grin was wide, and her eyes twinkled.
"Was that a joke?"
This reaction was totally unexpected. Olivia pulled the younger woman into her arms and cradled her face in her hands, delighting in the joyful face smiling up at her, and the dimples in full bloom. She brushed the back of her fingers against one cheek. "You are so beautiful," she whispered.
"You make me feel beautiful when you look at me like that." Natalia reached for the hand gently caressing her face and kissed it. "You're everything to me, Olivia." The look of pure love she gave Olivia nearly took her breath away. Tenderly she kissed the right dimple before repeating the process on the other side. This was followed by a kiss to Natalia's nose and one more brief kiss on her lips.
"Okay, love," she said, once again putting some distance between them. "I think this is enough for right now. I need to finish these reports and you need to get back to whatever it was you were doing. What exactly were you doing?"
Natalia gestured to the large canvas bag beside the desk. "Shopping. I have some baking to finish. How much longer will you be?"
"I don't know. Probably about an hour or so. Why?"
"If you don't have any plans for later why don't you bring Emma over and we can have a pizza and watch a movie?"
That sounded perfect to Olivia but she still couldn't resist just a little bit of teasing. "What, don't trust yourself without a chaperone now?"
Natalia shot her a saucy grin. "Actually, I thought you might need one." Kissing her stunned girlfriend on the cheek she headed towards the door. Hand on the knob, she turned back. "Olivia, does Josh like pie as much as his brother does?"
Still feeling a bit like she had stepped into a parallel universe, Olivia was puzzled by the question. "I don't know. I guess. Why?"
"I thought I'd bake him a pie. You know, to say 'thank you'."
The End