DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of MGM, Showtime, Gekko etc. No infringement intended.
CHALLENGE: Written as part of the 24 Hours Challenge.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.

Kitchen Sink Fluff
By ncruuk


"It's the end of the world," observed Daniel Jackson neutrally, watching the planet which, thirty seconds earlier, had been home to three million Retrans and their sworn enemy, the Tranras.

"Where's Alasan?" asked Sam, suddenly noticing the lack of their previously ever present local guide from Retrana, who hadn't appeared shortly after breakfast like every other day for the last seven days.

"Deciding last night was the night to have a drunken one night stand with the Tranras President's daughter," explained Jack, looking towards Teal'c who sat patiently in the Telac's pilot seat, ready to take them back to Earth.

"Good job the planet blew up then," mused Daniel, recalling how messy that particular love triange was. The daughter of the Retrana President had a thing for Alasan, who in turn had a thing for the daughter of the Tranras President...who seemed to have a thing for Sam when she was sober, and anyone except Alasan when she was drunk.

"It was most fortuitous," rumbled Teal'c in confirmation, trying not to dwell too much on the amount of deception, deceipt and dishonesty that it had taken to ensure this particular one night stand had been successfully pulled off by the determined Retran...had that culture believed in the afterlife, Alasan's only option would have been hell, which, if local gossip was to be listened too, may not have been such a bad destination - by all accounts, she might have run into her childhood sweetheart there, who'd died two years earlier.

"Do you think they ever got around fulfilling their threat to boil Jaxans in oil?" asked Janet conversationally, referring to the village matchmaker who'd managed to alienate everyone within a thirty minute walk of her hut purely due to her misguided but well intentioned attempts.

"Depends if they managed to drag her to the circus and persuade the clowns to use her in their act."

"I never liked the circus," muttered Sam, reaching around Teal'c to make a engine adjustment, improving their efficiency by 20%, much to Teal'c's satisfaction, and everyone else's surprise, all losing their footing momentarily as the engines surged.

"You pushing the engines Carter?" asked Jack, suspiciously.

"Just getting us home Sir."

"We be home by Tuesday?"

"Possibly Sir," confirmed Sam cautiously.

"Hot date Jack?"

"No Space Monkey, but I've got tickets for the Cubs."


"Yeah...going up there with some buddies of mine...Tuesday morning would be perfect Sam." The unusual use of her first name caused Sam to look up at her friend...

"Understood, Sir." It sounded so formal, but to everyone's ears, they heard the warmth of friendship and respect the two officers shared.

"I'll kiss you if we make it," countered Jack flippantly, caught up in his sudden anticipation.

"I'd rather Jan had that honour Sir," corrected Sam wryly, collapsing down against the bulkhead, glad when Janet decided to sit down next to her, happy to relax together amongst their friends on the long journey home.

"Happy to delegate to the Doc on that one," agreed Jack, finding his rubber ball and starting to bounce it round the room.

"Just don't involve us when you're crying into your drink on Wednesday after they've lost," suggested Janet, eyes sparkling with amusement when she saw the indignant look on Jack's face at the suggestion.

"I don't cry," he protested, only to be cut off by Daniel, happy to clarify for him,

"No Jack, of course you don't cry...you just find a really dusty bar to sit in!" It was an old joke for the team, but always a good one, allowing everyone to finally forget the disaster they'd just witnessed and settle down together, all relaxed, passing the time until they returned to corner of the galaxy SG1 called home.

The End

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