DISCLAIMER: Written totally by me, their are no characters, make of it as you will. Comments and thoughts are appreciated.
WARNING: Story deals with the subject of self inflicted physical harm.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.

By Whitelder


What would I do if you left me this time,
How would I survive to see the dawning of the new sun,
Knowing that you are not around to watch it with me.
How would I survive in this world of pain when you are not around to take the pain away?
My scream at finding you had left me, rendered my heart in two.
No one knew what to say to me as I rocked back and forward sobbing.
My scream of "I will love you always and forever" brought tears to the eyes of my would be comforters.
They had no idea; no one ever knew I felt this way.
I bear the scars on my body of your passing they will forever be a reminder of my love for you.
There is no one here to take the pain away.
Feeling so alone and in so much pain,
Take the pain away........Please

I watch as the vicious red line running from my ribs to my waist contracts and relax as I breathe. The pain has subsided now and the blood is coming out in little spurts all down the line. My hands, and the cloth held in them, are bright red with my lifeblood but I realize the wound isn't fatal. It never will be. I have no intention in killing myself but the blood is insistent on being released from its capital, which is my body.

The blood is running down the sides of my stomach now, soaking into the thick layer of sheets that cover my bed. The bleeding will stop soon as my body once again saves my life, then I can get up and discard the evidence of the deed done, go and disinfect the wound and put my knife away.

I think back to the cause of my hurt. She had left me without a word of thanks or goodbye. She had left and torn my heart out as she walked out the door. I had no clue what happened and she declined to explain what was wrong.

All she said was that she had fallen out of love with me and that she had found another, one whom she could love more than me. I wondered how this could be, we where soul mates weren't we? Well that was what she said when she professed her love for me. Was it all a joke? Was she playing me for the fool all the times she said she loved me? Or am I to blame for this?

So many questions and no answers to them. I love her and I though she loved me, but it seems that that love was a falsity and I wonder now did it every truly exist?

The End

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