Inappropriate Suprises
Recap by Misty Flores
Previously on LHDP: When Pepa expressed frustration with Silvia's habit of lying to her father whenever she would spend nights with her, Silvia told her frankly that she could say whatever she wanted to the people in her life, and Pepa could do the same. Unfortunately, at the time she did not remember that, as co-workers and sisters-in-law, they share the same people. Pepa, immediately catching this loophole, took the opportunity to out her to the entire café. That their relationship is no longer a secret is the least of Silvia's problems, however. Their niece, Sara, has been secretly aiding and abetting fugitive-on-the-run Lucas Fernandes (a cop who is falsely accused of murdering a city official) has been arrested for her actions.
With her beloved niece in jail, her sister Lola out of the country, and her father and brother-in-law heartbroken over the arrest, Silvia is having a horrific week.
EPISODE 4x23: Inappropriate Surprises
SCENE: THE PRECINCT
At her desk, Pepa spots a haunted looking Silvia heading for her. Before Silvia can reach her, however, Silvia is accosted by Commander Salgado and Inspector Montoya.
SALGADO: Inspector. Do you have the results of the number sequence that we found at Sara Miranda's house?
Silvia hesitates, and Montoya shoots her a look of agonized commiseration. Salgado notices, and isn't pleased.
SALGADO: Do you have them or don't you?
SILVIA: Yes. I have here the official results.
She hands them to Salgado. From her desk, Pepa keeps a close watch.
SILVIA: It's for four letters, nine numbers, and finishes with two more letters - in this case a U and an X.
SALGADO [duh]: And?
SILVIA: And I've been looking for similarities, and in the medical database I found this. [hands her a paper]. They're engine codes. These are from the central database.
SALGADO: What kind of codes do you mean?
SILVIA: These are search engine codes. They act as homing beacon. You can punch them into a computer and -
SALGADO: And what did Sara Miranda want to find? Alert Central. [Silvia hesitates] NOW.
Severely conflicted, Silvia reaches for her phone.
SALGADO: We're going to find out, whatever it is.
Montoya takes pity.
MONTAYA: I'll do it.
Silvia exhales gratefully.
MONTOYA: [to Salgado] If that's okay with you.
Salgado looks at Silvia, and finally realizes what she's asking Sara's aunt to do.
SALGADO: Yes, of course.
CLIP STARTS
Montoya walks off with Salgado, and Pepa immediately rises, reaching behind her and stuffing a shotgun into a duffel bag on her desk. Silvia notices.
SILVIA: What's that? Is there an operation going on?
PEPA: No. I got it from the surplus store. The check out procedures here are totally out-of-control.
Silvia furrows her brow, silently demanding an explanation. Behind them, Povedilla listens in, pretending to work.
PEPA [lowering her voice]: I got a call about a house. I think the Kaiser and his company are using it as a safehouse.
SILVIA: … and you're going alone?
PEPA: Yeah.
SILVIA: You haven't said anything to my dad or Salgado?
PEPA: And come off like an idiot if it's a false alarm? Please. I'll just go, look around. If I see something, I'll check in. It's close, near kilometer 30 on Guadarrama Road.
Silvia blinks, unable to believe her own personal Dirty Harry is at it again.
SILVIA: I can't believe you! You take guns without permission, you leave with out authorization, and on top of all that, you're going by yourself! Do you even know the meaning of the phrase 'protocol of action'?!
Povedilla, eavesdropping still, drops his pen. Pepa looks at him, and then turns back.
PEPA: Listen, Silvia. In life, there are two types of people: the ones that are afraid of everything - [grabs Silvia's phone] who don't take away the plastic cover from the screen of their cellphone because they're afraid they'll scratch it-
She tosses the phone on the table. Silvia grabs it defensively. .
PEPA: And then there's the other type. The ones that DO take off the plastic cover. The screen scratches - in the purse, with the keys, whatever - we even forget the pin - … and nothing happens.
She leaves her phone on the desk, grabs her duffel bag, and heads around the desk.
PEPA: And stop copying my hairdo.
Point made, she leaves Silvia to think it over.
SCENE: THE PARKING GARAGE
Pepa heads into the parking garage, gets to her car, and throws her gun in the back seat. As she prepares to head for the driver's seat, she is suddenly startled to find a smugly smirking Silvia sitting in the passenger seat.
Pepa processes this, and suppresses a smile, before she slides into the driver's seat, and silently regards Silvia.
Without a word, Silvia lifts up her cellphone and deliberately removes the plastic shield.
Pepa smiles, and puts the key into the ignition. They head out together.
--
SCENE: AT THE HOUSE
Pepa and Silvia pull up in front of the house. Guns drawn both girls spot each other as they make their way to the entrance of the patio.
With an intense face, Pepa makes a motion to count it off. On her silent three, Silvia breaks into the patio.
SILVIA: FREEZE!
But she doesn't find Kaiser or bandits. Instead she discovers a futon covered with pillows, and a table, laden with food, flowers and wine. Behind her, Pepa is suddenly smiling, gleeful in her surprise.
Silvia is not smiling.
SILVIA: What's all this?
PEPA: … Beautiful flowers, cold wine, ham from Huelva, king prawns… what else would it be? A romantic picnic!
Silvia realizes she's been duped. Fuming, she exits the patio, flinging aside the curtain. Bracing herself, Pepa follows.
SILVIA: I can't believe you. What the hell were you thinking? All that crap about Kaiser was a lie - have you lost your mind or what?
PEPA: I thought you might like to celebrate that we've been together two months, that's all.
Silvia can't believe it.
SILVIA: Okay, let's see: my niece has been arrested, my sister is god-knows-where, and my father is this close to a heart attack - what the hell gave you the impression I would want to celebrate anything?!
Now Pepa's angry.
PEPA: I just thought you needed a break, Silvia. That we could take ONE day to enjoy ourselves, okay? And then TOGETHER, afterwards, we could help Sara with whatever she needed. You've had three shit days, and it occurred to me, maybe I could try to cheer the redhead up! But no, not her. No, she just stands there making a fucking bitch face- you are the most rigid, unflexible person I've ever met-
SILVIA: Yes! I am rigid and I am unflexible. Do you know why? Because I don't like to party when things are bad and people need me.
They stare at each other, and Silvia's done.
SILVIA: Give me the car keys.
But Pepa's temper has been pricked, and hurt beyond measure, it flares. She pulls the keys out of her pockets.
PEPA: You want the keys? You want them?
She FLINGS them into the weeds.
PEPA: Go get them.
Silvia glares at her, and goes after the keys.
END CLIP
SCENE: THE PRECINCT
Meanwhile, Povedilla is doing what he does best: worrying. He is literally freaking out over Silvia and Pepa heading out without authorization and is now venting to Rita and Curtis.
POVEDILLA: This isn't right. This is not right! A secret mission! Armed! And alone! And without telling anyone! Into who knows what - where anything can happen to them! And on top of all that? One of them left their cell phone!
He points out Pepa's cellphone, sitting on her desk.
RITA: Baby, calm down. That's Pepa's cellphone. Silvia still has hers on her. Stop worrying, you're going to give yourself an ulcer.
POVEDILLA: How the hell am I not supposed to worry? How? You know what I have to do? I have to go upstairs to the office of Don Lorenzo and tell him everything [Curtis and Rita immediately shake their heads no]- YES! Yes! Yes! And tell him, because it's his daughter who has disappeared, and it's his granddaughter in jail! And then, I leave the ball in his court.
RITA: Calm down. Listen to me. You don't have to explain anything to anyone. You need to stay right here, keeping calm, relaxed. Because she's a superior, and she knows what she's doing.
Curtis: Exactly, Gloomy Gus, listen. If you flap you're tongue around, you're just going to end up with a mouth full of open air. Is that what you want?
POVEDILLA [offended] Did I hear 'Gloomy Gus'? I'm not a Gloomy Gus. Listen, I'm just worried -
Don Lorenzo walks up behind them.
DL: I've spent all morning trying to find Silvia. Does anyone know where she is?
Povedilla blanches.
DL: What, now everyone shuts up? Silvia? Will somebody tell me where the hell Silvia is?
To Curtis and Rita's horror, Povedilla stands up.
POVEDILLA: Silvia?... Silvia… Silvia… Are you referring to your daughter?
DL: … no, Povedilla. I'm talking about your fucking mother.
POVEDILLA [lets go]: She's gone.
DL: Where?
POVEDILLA: On a mission on the sierra of Guadderrama.
DL: A mission? I didn't authorize any mission.
POVEDILLA: Something about Kaiser… it seems that Agent Miranda got a tipoff and because she was going by herself, your daughter went with her to go help her- partner her- er… give her back up on the mission, but I swear to God, Don Lorenzo, I swear on my mother's grave I was going to go up stairs and tell you everything right now.
Curtis and Rita look ready to cut their heads off.
DL: The two of them left on a mission. Regarding the Kaiser case. In which my granddaughter is implicated. And they did that all without MY consent? My authorization? What the fuck is going on around here? This whole place has gone to shit! All of it! [calls Silvia] Heads are going to roll. I don't know whose but someone's head is going to - God-dammit, there's no coverage. Do you know where they are?
POVEDILLA [immediately]: kilometer 30 on Guadarrama Road. [Curtis and Rita throw up their hands] Stuff like that just sticks in my head. I've got photographic memory.
DL: Let's go. You're coming with me. [Povedilla tosses Rita a helpless glance.] Let's get the hell going!
POVEDILLA: Coming!
As Rita and Curtis shake their heads, Pepa's phone starts to ring. Curtis picks it up.
LATER: In the Parking Garage
DL: let's go, we'll take your car.
Povedilla opens the car, and his phone starts to ring. He answers it.
RITA: Baby, I'm calling to tell you. They just called Pepa's cellphone to confirm the rental of a house in Guadarrama. Didn't I tell you? It's a romantic getaway! An illicit affair!
She starts laughing, and Curtis yanks the phone away.
CURTIS: Oh, chill out. [into the phone] Povedilla? You've really fucked it up. You've really fucked this one - do you know how much trouble Pepa could get into for this? How the hell could you take the Iron Sergeant to the sisters-in-law's pajama party?!
Povedilla has an appropriate oh-shit face over what he's just learned.
DL: Povedilla?! What the hell! Get in the car, let's go!
He shuts off the phone and heads to the car. Don Lorenzo fiddles with his gun, and Povedilla goes pale, fully aware that Don Lorenzo with a gun, walking in Silvia and Pepa in a romantic setting might end up with a dead Pepa.
POVEDILLA: do you know something, Don Lorenzo? Do you know how long it's been since you and I have gone on an operation together? Let me take you to get a hamburger. Don Lorenzo! [smacks his thighs] What do you say?
DL: Povedilla, tell me a joke.
Povedilla, blinks, but does as requested. DL stares at him.
DL: Do you know why I'm not laughing? Because I don't joke with my employees. Because I don't drink with my employees, because I don't go cycling with my- well, you know. Now, come on, we've got two agents in trouble, let's go.
Povedilla has no choice but to start the car.
CLIP STARTS
BACK AT THE COUNTRY HOUSE
Pepa, having had a cool glass of wine and some time to cool off in the patio, is no longer angry. Silvia, who has spent the time battling bugs, shrubs, and branches searching for the keys, is still really pissed.
PEPA: Come on, Silvia. Let it go. You've been in there two and half hours, get out! You're going to get bitten by every bug in the place.
She watches from the sidelines as Silvia battles a branch.
PEPA: Look, you're full of scratches! You're burning to a crisp. Come on, tomorrow I'll help you find them. Come out!
Silvia glares.
PEPA: Okay, okay. You're right. I fucked up. I fucked up with the dupe about the Kaiser and the mission, but what do you want from me? Surprises are supposed to be exactly that: Sur-pri-ses!
Silvia finally comes storming out of the thicket, holding her stick.
SILVIA: Look, Pepa, I'm going to tell you something. You're right: in life, there are two types of people. The ones that give gifts thinking of the other person, and the ones that give gifts thinking about themselves! Do you get it?
Pepa grabs her elbow, but she jerks away.
PEPA: Look, Silvia, the only thing I wanted was to spend ONE day alone with you. Without anything or anyone getting in the way. Without cellphones, or anything. Okay, you're right. I'm sorry. Forgive me. But in life, there are always two solutions: one) stay here fighting all night, or two) [begins to beg] eat the gorgeous ham I brought just for you from Jabugo, and the king prawns with the little stripes on the back.
Silvia's hunger battles her will.
SILVIA: … is the wine cold?
PEPA: Cold-cold-cold.
Silvia eyes the food. Pepa senses victory.
PEPA: We'll eat, and then I'll help you find the keys. I promise. Swear to God.
SILVIA: … But only because I'm hungry.
As she heads to the table, Pepa pulls a twig out of her hair.
MEANWHILE
Povedilla purposely delays Don Lorenzo by getting lost. A lot.
BACK AT THE COUNTRY HOUSE
Silvia is now settled and eating, and in a much better mood.
SILVIA: How many guys have been I been with? Mm… well… Javier was my first, and then there was the guy in college and then… well… Lucas. And Marquez and Montoya - five in total. And you?
PEPA: Me? Wait… let me count… [she thinks about it] about 12 or 13.
SILVIA [slightly uneasy, but impressed]: Look at you, the lucky dozen.
PEPA: Those are just the guys.
Silvia's smile freezes.
PEPA: Girls? There's a few more. [she thinks about it] Um… about forty?
Silvia blanches. She takes a huge gulp of wine, unsettled. Pepa watches her, bemused.
PEPA: What's wrong.
SILVIA: Nothing. I've just only been with you and for you I'm the fortieth. No, it's weird to feel so insecure…
PEPA: Look, princess. To hook up with forty chicks? To be honest? It's easy. The difficult thing is falling in love.
Silvia's smile begins to emerge.
PEPA: The feeling you get when someone rubs you with their fingers, and your stomach turns queasy like you just got off a carnival ride. [beaming, Silvia smiles, knowing exactly what she's talking about.] Well, when it comes to that, you're the first.
SILVIA: You're the first for me too.
Pepa smiles, then hesitates.
PEPA: I going to confess something else to you. I was also the first to… [digs into her pockets] FIND THE KEYS!
Silvia can't believe it.
SILVIA: You're so dead.
Pepa laughs and flings a napkin at her. Silvia flings hers back, and Pepa merrily jiggles the keys.
MEANWHILE
At Don Lorenzo's insistence, Povedilla finally accidentally finds the house,
DL: There's the cabin! And that's Maria Jose's (short for Maria Josefina, Pepa's real name) car! Let's go in! You go behind me.
Povedilla is besides himself, and it only gets worse when DL starts loading his gun.
POVEDILLA: I don't know... this is just - wouldn't it be better if we called for back up, and the two of us just waited outside and kept watch?
DL: Kept watch?! To hell with that! Let's go!
With his gun up, he heads outside, ready to shoot. Povedilla is now close to panic, terrified of what DL might find. As DL heads for the house, Povedilla SLAMS on the horn, hoping to signal a warning. DL turns around, furious.
POVEDILLA: I'm sorry! I didn't do it on purpose! My elbow caught the horn-
DL is already turning again, heading down the road toward the house.
Povedilla suddenly jumps out of the car, and barrels past DL, hoping to beat him there.
DL: Povedilla, calm down!
Povedilla gets to the patio first, and looks through the leaves. It confirms his worst fears. He runs back to DL.
POVEDILLA: Put down the gun. Listen to me, put down the gun.
DL: What's going on?!
POVEDILLA: Don Lorenzo, it's terrible.
DL: [stricken] What's terrible? What's terrible, Povedilla?!
Povedilla scrambles..
POVEDILLA: Hold me. Don Lorenzo, HOLD ME!
He grabs hold and tries to hug DL in place, but DL shrugs him off, face mottled with frustration.
DL: Get the hell off me!
He storms to the wall and looks inside.
To find Silvia and Pepa, naked and in bed together.
LATER
In the patio, Silvia and Pepa are making love. Transcribers note: It's very pretty.
Don Lorenzo, interrupting the love scene, doesn't think so. He looks broken as he stares at his daughter, laughing and wrestling with her female lover.
Finally (thank God, because that wasn't at ALL creepy, DL), he grabs a chair and moves it, indicating his presence.
The interruption sends the girls scrambling to cover themselves, and Pepa looks terrified as she discovers DL staring down at her. Silvia panics, and tries to hide under the blankets.
DL: Silvia.
Hearing her name, Silvia has no choice but sit up next to Pepa. She's frightened out of her mind, but one look at Pepa, and the fear emanating from her face, she suddenly steels herself and with as much will as she can muster, draws her arm around her lover, claiming her.
Pepa's shocked, but in that action, Silvia's found her strength. She stares up to her father in challenge, not backing down.
DL's face crumbles a bit more, but he nods, understanding.
DL: Your mother used to have the habit of throwing out the instruction manuals to everything that we bought: the washing machine , the dishwasher, the toaster... she'd just toss them, and I would kick up a fuss, and I'd say, "how the hell are we supposed to learn how to use them?"
Unsure where he's going, the girls stare in silence.
DL: When she died, I found out that the important things in life don't have instruction manuals.
Silvia's face crumbles.
DL: There's no ten-step program to educate your kids, not even a book of instructions that tell you what do you when you lose your wife. Life isn't like the shelf at IKEA that you buy that comes with an instruction book and a warranty. I don't know... I only know that I'm going to be 60 years old , and have a strong personality, and I'm a person of order. But I've learned something. That when it comes to love, the instructions, if they even exist, must be written in Sanskrit, because not even God can understand them.
DL[overwhelmed]: And so... I expect... [stops, and looks at them both] I wish the best for you both.
Silvia and Pepa are near tears. DL coughs, and tries to collect himself, getting up.
DL: And... when you get back to the precinct, you'll both be working four straight shifts, okay? For abandoning your posts, and for raising a false alarm. Do I make myself clear?
As he leaves, Silvia and Pepa can only sit in grateful shock, overwhelmed and still together.
WHAT ELSE HAPPENED
Sara's mother returned and visited Sara, who refused to say anything against Lucas. Paco and Mariano tracked down Lucas and after a tense standoff, told him about Sara's incarceration. He sent her a video that said basically that he was done with her, and she owed him nothing. She agreed to cooperate and spill everything for full immunity. As Lucas bid Paco and Mariano an emotional goodbye, determined to find the Kaiser and clear his name, he stepped into his van and turned on the ignition.
It blew up.
The last credits of the show featured Lucas' funeral.
NEXT UP: Episodes 6-9 - We've going back to the introduction of Pepa, but first I'm going to take a little break. But at least now you're caught up for the new episodes on September 17th, right?