DISCLAIMER: 30 Rock and its characters are the property of NBC. No infringement intended.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
SPOILERS: Blind Date.

Lindsey Lohan's a Lesbian
By Babydykecate


"Lindsay Lohan's a lesbian, I think…" Liz blurts into the phone as soon as it picks up.

"Liz?" Gretchen asks confused.

"She always seemed so straight… I bet she doesn't even own any bi-curious shoes…" Liz continues her ramble.

"What are you calling about, Liz?" Gretchen asks with a sigh. Since she'd told Liz that they needed to stop hanging out (as Gretchen was starting to get desperately horny with no hope of reprieve), Liz had taken to randomly calling her… apparently even more randomly than she'd thought.

"What if I wanted you to touch me?" Liz blurts out.

Gretchen is speechless. She's in shock. And possibly in need of medical attention.

Liz waits for her to regain cognitive function. Liz is glad she closed the blinds to her apartment, because she's blushing like a school girl.

Gretchen finally takes a breath. "What?!" She sputters.

"Well, it started with wanting to be around you all the time… but I didn't realize what it was… you know, like your first crush…" Liz starts.

"Liz, the touching thing," Gretchen growls slightly.

"But then I started watching The L Word all the time, and I found a lesbian porn on the internet once, but that looked kind of painful…" Liz pauses, takes deep breath, and says, "AndIcan'tstopthinkingaboutyouGretchen. Yougoingdownonme. Yourfingersinsideme," all in one breath. Then she adds, "And I figured, I can at least be a better lesbian than Lindsay. I already have the shoes. My nails are already short. And I played softball in high school."

"So you no longer prefer a bald spot and a hairy back?" Gretchen asks skeptically.

"You have boobs!" Liz replies, trying hard not to imagine Gretchen's creamy white breasts cupped in her hands. Soft with harden nipples… Ya, she's failing miserably.

Gretchen can't help but laugh. "Yes, I do," she nods.

Liz is getting horny and impatient listening to Gretchen's voice and talking about boobs.

"Um, Gretchen… what would you do to me if you had me in bed right now…?" Liz asks, her boldness growing.

"What Liz?" Gretchen sputters again (she may have a heart attack before this conversation is over).

"I want you to tell me what you'd do to me… you know, so I can think about you touching me… Haven't you ever heard of phone sex, Gretchen?" Liz asks with a laugh.

Gretchen sometimes feels like cursing at how crazy this woman drives her. But she also makes her very wet. Gretchen never thought she'd be about to have phone sex with the girl with bi-curious shoes. But she is. "Well, Liz, I'd undress you until you were just in your bra and panties," Gretchen starts.

Check. Liz has been in just her underwear the whole time. Another reason she closed the blinds. She even put on her sexy matching black lace bra and panties (instead of her 'its laundry day again' white bikinis).

"I'd run my hand under your bra and play with your nipple," Gretchen continues. Liz's nipples are hard now. So are Gretchen's.

"Then I'd take off your bra and suck on your nipples," Gretchen says, her voice a little deeper with arousal.

Liz has to fight the urge to touch herself, but she wants to wait until Gretchen's talking about doing it that. It makes it more real.

"You like that Liz?" Gretchen asks.

"Umm hmm," She moans slightly. She adds, "I'm really wet for you," feeling wonderfully naughty. This hotter and gayer than Lindsay and The L Word.

"You are?" Gretchen asks with a smile, getting wet herself.

"Yes," Liz replies her breathing faster and her voice impatient.

"Then I put my hand into your panties to feel it," Gretchen replies. Liz does as she's told. She sighs as her fingers touch the sensitive skin.

"I push my fingers inside you," Gretchen tells Liz. Liz slides two fingers inside herself and gasps.

Gretchen is now more desperately horny that she's ever been in her whole life. She wants Liz, naked and writhing underneath her now.

"Then my fingers find your clit," Gretchen says with a groan, imagining it. Liz's sticky fingers swirl around her clit as she gets closer to coming.

Gretchen can now hear Liz breathing hard into the phone. "Come for me, Liz," she commands, and Liz does.

"Gretchen," Liz moans.

"Just wait till I really have you in my bed," Gretchen replies. Liz can't wait. And Gretchen needs a cold shower.

The End

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