DISCLAIMER: The Facts of Life and its characters are the property of Columbia Pictures Television and Sony Pictures Television, no infringement intended.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Thanks to Sofrost for beta-ing the letter for me.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
A letter from Jo to Blair
Sitting at my desk I decide to finally write the letter I've been holding off from writing for years. I don't know why it's taken me so long to pluck up the courage to do it. It's not like I have to ever face her. If for whatever reason we bump into each other, she doesn't even have to mention that she ever got it. God knows I won't ever mention it, unless she does first. I feel now is the time. Maybe enough time has passed for us. Maybe there's enough water under the bridge now for her to forgive me. But forgive me for what? Maybe she will read it and shed some light on the past.
How you doing? I know it's been a long time since we last spoke. A really long time! But I couldn't go any longer without reaching out to you, without apologizing. You know, I don't really know why I am apologising but I am. I can remember the weeks before we left being filled with the usual fun, laughter and banter. We all had a good time. Going to the movies, getting something to eat, reminiscing and visiting old haunts, Remember the Chug-a-lug? J
But something changed between us when we were going through all the junk that we had collectively collected over the years in the attic. You had found a box marked with your name on the side and as usual you didn't hesitate to dive in and sort through your memories. Only it wasn't your box, you were haphazardly flicking through a journal when you announced that it wasn't actually your box but it was mine. You stuffed the journal back in the box and pushed it over to where I was. I wasn't angry or anything but I did joke that some things would never change for Princess B. or maybe you had done it yourself to get your hands on my journal. From then until we left you were distant. I could only assume that it was what I said but I remembered that I had said a lot worse to you over the years. I tried to go back to the journal hoping that I could maybe see something in it that would have upset you but I couldn't find it anywhere. I asked Tootie and Natalie but they just said that you were just upset about leaving for good and scared that we would all lose touch. Isn't that what happened between you and me? When was the last time we all meet up, Blair?
I'm going to be honest here. I've been keeping up with what's happening in your life. Natalie and Tootie have been keeping me informed. Don't get mad at them, they didn't want to at first but I managed to persuade them. But anyway I digress. I want to know what I did wrong. Why did you abandon, yes abandon, me when I needed you most? At first it was just emotionally, just silly things that I missed over the last couple of days in Peekskill. Things like the smiles and the tender looks, you gave those willingly to the others but you didn't spare a single one for me. I still miss them to this day. Do you know what else I miss, Blair? I miss my friend. The one who made me part of her conspiracies whether I wanted to be involved or not. I miss when you used to make me blush furiously, even with the most simple, innocent, passing compliment. I never believed anyone when they said I was beautiful, but I believed you, sometimes. I want back the friend who held me while I cried and never told a soul afterwards. I want back the friend who was my confident and I want to be your confident again. I want to go back, Blair, back to before I fucked it up.
Do you know what I hate the most? I hate having to find out what's going on in your life second hand. I want to experience it with you. I don't know if you know what's been happening in my life. Sometimes I wish you do know, like when I made lieutenant, but other times I hope that you don't. Cause they were the hardest times of my life like when Charlie died or my Ma moved to Miami for good. Or when Rick and I got divorced. Did you know that I'm divorcee? About 18 months after we all left Peekskill for good, he asked me for a divorce. Said that there were three people in our marriage. No neither of us was having an affair but I knew what he meant. Each night when we went to bed there was him, me and someone else. Anyway it doesn't matter know, although I will admit here that after I was made inspector I was ready to burst into Warner Industries to personally let you know that I had finally made it. But I was scared. I have faced down the lowest of the low. But I was afraid to come to you in case you called security to have me removed from the building. I hated not having you there by my side through the good and the bad. Do you think we could ever go back?
Blair, I want to know when you are happy and when you are sad. I want to be the one you turn to when things look bad. I want to be the one you call first when you're so happy that you just have to tell someone. I want to be the shoulder that you cry on. I want the girls' nights, you know, the Four Musketeers together again. Do you think that you could ever forgive me? Please think about it Princess. I want, no, I need you in my life. The last five years I've felt lost without you and I'd do anything to be a part of your life again. Please think about it.
All my love. Always.
Giving the letter one last read though I lift me head and look at the clock. It's time for me to clock out. Putting the letter into an envelope, I now have to decide whether to hand deliver it, yes I know her address, or to stick a stamp on it and put it in the post. Putting on my leather jacket and grabbing my keys, I head out into the cold night. Walking to my car, I finally make a decision. I'm going to hand deliver it.
Stopping at the residence of Miss. Blair Warner. I sit in my car and wonder if I've made a terrible mistake. Writing the letter and driving here to hand deliver it. Finally gathering up the remaining courage I have, I get out of the car and make the long terrifying trek to her mail box. Just as I open up the slot to push the envelope through the door opens, and there stands the woman who has haunted many of my dreams for more years than I care to remember.
Staring into the blues eyes I thought I would never see again, I felt warmth spread through my body. She shakes her head as if she doesn't believe her beautiful eyes. As usual she comes to her senses before me.
"Jo?" I suddenly found myself with my arms wrapped around her as she launches herself at me. Melting into the embrace as though the years in between hasn't happened. It feels right, it feels like home.
"Oh Jo, what are you doing here? I haven't seen you for so long. How have you been?" She asks stepping back slightly but not leaving my arms. I pull back further from her and look at the letter grasped firmly in my hand. I look back up into her eyes and know that we still have to sort out the past. If we just ignore it, it'll always be there between us.
"I just came to deliver this to you, Blair. I want you to read it and then find me. My address and contact numbers are on it, ok? Please don't wait too long, Princess, I really need to know." I hand her the letter and walk back to my car. As I place the key in the ignition I take a quick look at her. She's still standing at the top of the stairs looking at the letter with a confused look on her face. Shaking my head I pull out into the traffic and head home.
Return to The Facts of Life Fiction
Return to Main Page