DISCLAIMER: The Facts of Life and its characters are the property of Columbia Pictures Television and Sony Pictures Television, no infringement intended.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Thanks to Sofrost for beta-ing the letter for me.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
A letter from Jo to Blair 2
I finally make it home, all the while regretting giving Blair that letter. What the hell was I thinking? I really need her in my life. It's been really hard the last few years without her. Even at school, I could face anything as long as I had her by my side. After going through all that I have on my own, I still need her there with me telling me that I'm going to be alright and that it'll all pass. Slumping on my couch with a beer, I grab the remote off the coffee table and start channel surfing hoping to find something to fall asleep to. As I settle on a sports review I lie down on the couch and sit my beer on my stomach. Slowly drifting off to sleep I once again mentally kick myself for not being able to let the past stay where it firmly belongs. In the past.
I awake with a start when someone bangs on my door really hard. I think that the hinges might have been rattled loose. Cursing at the beer I spilt on the floor I move from the couch to answer the door as another round of banging comes from it. Muttering darkly I advance on the door. I swear whoever is trying to batter my door down better have a good excuse. Throwing the door open, all the anger in me flew away and was replaced with shock.
"Blair?" Standing in front of me is the last person I ever thought I would ever again. I know that I gave her the letter but I thought she would just throw it in the bin and forget all about me.
"Do you remember when we went through all the junk that we had collected over the years before we left college? And I went through one of your boxes because I thought it was one of mine and I found that journal?" She asked in a rush. I can only nod my head in answer. She gently pushes her way past me and walks into my front room.
"Please come in." I say sarcastically to her back but she doesn't seem to hear me. Honestly, I'm glad that she didn't, I don't think I could deal with a pissed off princess. Following Blair into the front room, I stand in the doorway and watch her wear a hole in the carpet. "Blair, are you ok? Do you want to sit down?" I ask her quietly. She turns and looks at me as though she forgot I was even there. After a moment she shakes her head and continues pacing. Feeling confused I decide that I want to sit down. Really I just want a beer. I contemplate going to the kitchen to get one when Blair suddenly turns to me.
"I read it."
"Read what? I have no idea what you're talking about, Blair. You come here and pace in my living room then you tell me that you 'read it.' What's 'it'?" I ask her, feeling really frustrated and angry with her just now.
"The journal. Your journal. You know the one I found? Well when I was skimming through it I saw my name and I read a little bit of it. When I read it, it shocked me. I mean really shocked me. But later that night I sneaked out of the room and stole the journal out of the box. I wanted to read more. I liked what I read. I mean I really liked it. What you wrote about me, it scared me but it gave me butterflies. I knew that a girl could feel like that for another girl. I mean, I was never told that I could. You know with me being a Warner and everything. I always thought that what I felt was best ignored. I tried to make myself feel that way about the boys I dated, not you, but then I read your journal that you had the same feelings for me." She stops to take a breath and sits down on the arm chair facing me.
"I got scared. I wanted to know if you felt the same for me, but you were married Rick so I thought that maybe it was a little crush you had. I mean the journal was from our third year, it was a long time ago even then. I couldn't face you knowing that I was in love with you, that I wanted to be with you and I couldn't, that you wouldn't want me the way I wanted you. I mean, you married Rick. So obviously you wouldn't want me. I thought you knew that I had read it and that I had it but you were too angry and too proud to ask for it back. Then all that time passed and I was too scared to contact you. Even when Tootie and Natalie told me that you needed me. I couldn't. But when you showed up at my door I couldn't stand it any longer. I've been so miserable for the past five years. I need you in my life, Jo. I don't care how; I just need to be a part of your life and for you to be a part of mine. Please forgive me Jo."
Well, at least now I know why we haven't spoken in years. I honestly don't know what to think. Yes, I still feel the same way. In fact more. Back then it was just a silly school girl crush and purely physical, but my feelings grew over time and one day I realised that I was in love with my boy-crazy best friend. There was nothing I could do. At least I thought there was nothing I could do. Feeling numb with shock I feel myself lowering onto the sofa. Glad of the support it offered, I stare at her. How could I have known that the Princess of the cafeteria would have felt anything but pity and distain for a street kid from the Bronx?
As my senses come back to me, I realise one thing, "we wouldn't have worked, Blair." Her head snaps up with shock. She opens her mouth to interrupt, but I beat her too it. "If we had known how each other felt back then, we wouldn't have worked. We both needed to grow up. We were too young and immature."
"What about now, Jo? Are we too young and immature? Do you think we could work now?" As her words penetrate my brain, it's my turn for my head to snap up. I'm not sure what to make of her questions. Looking into her eyes, I can't be sure of what I see. She moves towards me slowly, never losing eye contact. "Jo, do you think we could work out now? Are you willing to give us a chance?" She squats down in front of me so we're on the same level. I watch in amazement as her hand comes up and cups my cheek. Unable to stop myself, I close my eyes and lean into her touch.
Unsure of my voice I whisper a quiet, "yeah, I do."
I open my eyes and see in hers a mirror of the emotions going through me. Fear, love, nervousness and happiness. I lean forward and capture her lips in our first kiss. It's slow and tentative but full of promise of things to come. I pull her towards me, so she straddles my lap. Wrapping my arms around her waist, I hold her to me as she wraps her arms around my neck. Her fingers play with the hairs at the base of my neck. When air becomes an issue we both pull back so our foreheads rest together.
Panting slightly, I ask, "Blair, can I take you out for a date?"
She smirks slightly, "yeah, I think I could let you do that."
"Oh gee, Blair. You're so good to me." She lets out a really girly squeal as I shift our position so she is lying on the sofa with me above her.
"Do you have any idea how long I've wanted to do this? How long I've waited to kiss you?" looking at her I can see the emotion bubbling in her eyes. I watch in amazement as a small tear trickles from her eye. I wipe it away with the pad of my thumb.
"If it's as long as I've wanted it, then you've waited a long time. I have to ask if you could wait a little longer. I want to take you out first. I want to do this properly. Take it slow, make it last."
"Oh, Jo. That's the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me." She cries out tightening her arms around my neck pulling me into a suffocating hug. She pushes me slightly and looks me square in the eye, "You'd better not wait too long though. Now I know that I can have you, I want you even more." She growls before she crashes our lips together.
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