DISCLAIMER: I don't own CSI, Catherine and Sara or anything CSI related. Hannah Jenkins is mine though.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is my first attempt on writing comedy, I hope it works.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
Life according to Hannah Jenkins
By Maaike
Do you remember how you felt on the first day of school? Or college for that matter? That is kind of how I feel today, the first day on my new job. Well it's more like the first night really, but who cares? Day and night are two concepts that are very overrated anyway. I'm going to be a member of the so called 'Graveyard shift', the team my colleagues in law enforcement like to call the 'Nerd squad'. Well according to the name of the team, I should fit in right away.
I will get to play Clue in real life, only I doubt I will find any clue cards at any of the crime scenes I will visit. I also don't think there is any winning in this field, only losses. It's going to be all new for me, new colleagues, new kind of job, new environment. I hope my new colleagues will be trying to include me because I'm not really miss popular and I don't think I'd dare to just enter a conversation or say 'hey guys, I'm coming along for a drink'. I'm quite the loser really, how depressing it might sound or not.
I have already met my boss, his name is Gil Grissom. Just when you think you've seen it all, something really weird crosses your path. For me, that something weird crossing my path is Gil Grissom. Although I did understand him and I know he is the good kind of boss, damn that man is weird. When I entered his office I was wondering if I had entered the little shop of horrors, I know people like to collect things, but well you can overdo it.
As I set foot in the building that is going to be my workplace for the next while, at least I hope so, I can feel my blood pumping through my veins. It feels like walking on stage, why do people always have to stare at new things? Where was I? Oh right, on my way to the break room. This is just worse than being at the doctors for a check up, maybe I should give that receptionist x-ray glasses for her birthday, than she can see my insides as well.
I bump into my new boss in the hallway; he just nods at me and leads me to my destination. When I enter, I remind myself to buy a whole box of x-ray glasses because 5 pairs of eyes are examining me. Hello! I'm in the room you guys! I might as well just stare back as I have nothing better to do. My first victim is a tall, dark guy, he is acting really cool but I think he is the kind of guy that goes home to his wife, 2 kids and dog after shift. He probably lives in one of those houses with a white fence around it. Next to him there is the typical 'I was a jock in college and I still want to show it off' kind of guy, muscled, handsome, with a hint of shyness. When I hear him talk I smile, he is definitely not from around, Texan I guess. Hmmm, that actually makes him even sexier. The next victim seems to be lost; I think he should be working in one of the labs; at least he looks like it. It's your typical common-or-garden variety lab tech, maybe he smiled at Grissom the right way. His hair seems not to be doing what he wants, but it looks cute on him, it just fits.
I think I've just finished checking out my new male co-workers, all three handsome in their own right. Now let's move on. Oh man, I feel like I'm ogling, but hey, what goes around, comes around. The first woman seems to only be in the room physically, she has something mysterious about her, her brown eyes seem to be trying to figure me out. I feel myself gasp when our eyes meet, oops, caught in the act. I can't stop staring at her, and for some reason she is not looking away. Or is she looking at something behind me? I turn around to see if there is someone behind me and I see a pretty blonde leaning in the doorway. Ok, so that pretty look in the brunette's eyes wasn't for me, what a shame. The blonde leaning in the doorway seems to be out of place, when I look again I see why; she is a detective. Nice, female detectives. But this particular female detective doesn't seem to be nice as she shoots me a death glare. Did I miss something? I just turn around and continue my 'check up'. You have to do something when your boss is talking about God knows what.
The woman I'm looking at now is a true enigma, she is tall, oh wait, I already described her, sorry. Yup, she is quite attractive, to me at least. I find myself staring at her once again; I want to get to know her. Anyway, moving on. The woman next to the brunette, gorgeous brunette I might add, is just radiating strength and sexiness. The blonde, blue eyed woman just seems to radiate self confidence like she has a sign around her neck. Wow, I wish I was a little more like that. She looks a little older than the brunette, but she still has a body to die for. Oh, did I say that? Well it's true, she could be a model or something.
"Guys, this is Hannah Jenkins. She will be joining our team," Gil Grissom says as I nervously wave at everyone. Nice move, I must look like a complete dork.
I turn around to nod at the snobby detective behind me and she just nods back at me. I'm even rewarded with a smile. Hmm, so maybe that death glare wasn't meant for me? Or maybe times just goes faster in this Lab?
The blonde woman is the first to get up; she introduces herself as Catherine Willows. She is hot, and is in a very good shape, if I may say so myself. Her firm grip on my hand only proves what I already thought, a self confidence that's bigger than the Sears Tower. The guys follow behind her, Nick Stokes, Warrick Brown and Greg Sanders. The detective behind me catches my attention and introduces herself as Sofia Curtis; Catherine informs me that she used to be a CSI as well. Well good for her.
The last to get up is the brunette, well you know what they say, last but not least. She slowly walks towards me with certain self-confidence in her stride, but it's just her stride that carries that self-confidence, her face looks far from confident. I wonder how she can not be confident looking like she does, she is a fine woman. She smiles at me and introduces herself as Sara Sidle, I have to give it to her, she is good, even her voice sounds confident. If I hadn't seen the look on her face before, I'd say she was cocky.
"Hannah, you will be working with Sara tonight," Grissom says as he hands Sara the assignment and walks out of the break room.
"Let's go," Sara says as she flashes me a faint smile.
Well HELLO there, did I just get hot in here or what? I quickly regain my composure and smile back at the gorgeous brunette. As I look over to the side, I see Catherine giving me a death glare. Whoops, so that is a no go area, well we will see about that little miss blonde. As I turn back to focus my attention on Sara, I laugh at myself, she is totally oblivious to the attention she is getting. I think she doesn't even know how beautiful she is. This is going to be one interesting night.
I let Sara drive us to the crime scene, well actually Sara just drove, I thought it would be smart to keep my mouth shut about wanting to drive on my first night. I would like to leave a good first impression, although I doubt if I can still manage that after my dorky behaviour in the break room. If I'm lucky Sara suffers from short term memory loss or something similar.
As I look over at Sara, I see she is completely focused on the road. She suddenly looks up at me, giving me the feeling I've just turned into a huge tomato. As she puts her attention back on the road she smirks, I bet she knows I've been trying to think of something witty to say ever since we left the Lab. I have got this feeling she and I are not that different, it's either that or she can read minds, which would make her even more fascinating than she already is.
We arrive at the crime scene and Sara is out of the car in a matter of seconds. She tells me to get the kits and walks over to Sofia, the hot female detective. As I check Sofia out from the distance I agree with myself on the thought they should recruit more detectives like that. I'm sure suspects are more willing to talk to a person like Sofia to any other standard, beer bellied detective. I do have to say they should probably start naming that phenomenon donut belly, because we all know it's not the beer that gives them a belly like that.
I hand Sara her kit as she starts on the scene, she tells me to take the perimeter after I talk to Sofia. I'm excited to start my job, until Sofia updates me on what we have. On my first night I've landed in the middle of an over-intriguing and exciting B&E. If the perp had been any more stupid, he would have still been at the crime scene, waiting for us with his hands behind his head. I can't believe the amount of evidence he or she left behind, it's probably a he because I doubt there are women that stupid. A slam dunk, well at least I won't be working overtime on my first shift, I'm such an optimist.
While I'm working the perimeter I feel that I'm being checked out, if only it was for the reason I would want it to be, it wouldn't be so annoying. I can just feel Sofia following every move I make; I am sort of waiting for the moment where she takes over from me. She would make one hell of a security system. The outside is a mess so it takes me a while to cover every single square centimetre. After a while Sara is done with the inside and joins Sofia in the almost perfect imitation of a security system. If I had a better body I would have performed a striptease for these women.
I turn around and smile sweetly at them, asking if they are practising for the world championship staring at someone. Sara turns red, which looks damn cute on her, and Sofia shoots me a mocking death glare. Yup, I guess that broke the ice. I get up and tell the fine ladies that I'm done. Sara takes my kit and walks off to the car while Sofia steps towards me and compliments me on my remark.
"I was wondering if you two were trying to burn a hole in me, or if you were developing X-ray vision or something," I say with a smile, might as well keep up this funny person role I'm playing.
"If I wanted to burn a hole in you, I'd have shot you," Sofia replies with a smile.
Ouch, she is good. I'm glad I'm not the one who broke into this shitty excuse for a supermarket, wouldn't want that woman on my bad side.
Sara calls me from the car, asking if I'm planning on getting in today. What a question is that, of course I'll get in that car with her. I sprint over and get in, smiling apologetically at the brunette next to me.
After a few hours, Sara and I have processed all the evidence and send the trace evidence off to the trace lab. There is not much more to do for us, so we decide to take a quick pit stop at the break room to get a cup of coffee. Just as we are standing there, waiting for the coffee maker to finish, the scruffy haired guy walks by. Sara nudges my side and tells me to be nice to him because he has the tendency to share his divine coffee with the people he likes.
"I assume you are on the list of people he shares with?" I say, trying to make conversation.
"Yup, although it doesn't always have advantages," she nods her head in the direction of the door.
As I look over I see Greg walking in, his face lights up as he sees Sara.
"Hey Sara, my favourite woman!"
Ah, so Sara is probably on top of the list. Although at the way Sara almost winces, I understand she is not that interested in being on top of his list.
"Greg, hi. Have you met Hannah yet?" Sara says.
Way to go girl! She seems to be trained in avoiding his flirtations. Although I don't know if I have to be happy about that or not, Greg turns his attention to me and his face indicates he is up to no good.
"Yes, I have had the immense pleasure of meeting this enigmatic woman."
I almost fall backwards from the use of posh language coming from the guy's mouth. He really needs a lesson in flirting; well make that a whole academic course, because he is hopeless.
"Does that mean I'm on your list of people you share your coffee with?" I say hopeful, might as well use the knowledge I have.
Greg smiles and nods slightly. "This is your lucky night, because you are together with my favourite woman I might be able to put you on the list, but you will be on a trail period the first two months," he says.
Sara snorts and I don't know if I should be happy to be on his list or not.
My first night as a member of the Graveyard shift went by so fast, and it went very well I might add. I'm in the break room having another coffee with Sara, who is just getting more and more interesting by the second. She managed to talk to me and not say anything at all, I like mysteries.
Catherine comes walking into the break room and shoots me a death glare as she sees me standing next to Sara. Not my idea of fun, but then again, I like mysteries and not over obvious things like the blonde's crush on my new found favourite CSI. By the way Sara's face lit up when the blonde entered the room, I'd say the attraction was mutual, but hey, who am I to judge about other peoples lives. If they want to walk around in circles, beating around the bush, who am I to stop them?
The coffee man, Greg, calls Sara and she rushed out of the room, leaving me with the blonde who looks like she is about to rip me into a million pieces. I look behind me to see if maybe she is directing those nasty looks at someone else, but I'm disappointed by the fact that I'm the only person in the room with her. I might be in trouble and that on my first day, which must be a record. Catherine moves closer to me in an almost feline way, which is actually scaring me. Is she going to jump me? I know I'm not the ugliest person on this planet, but hell she can do better.
"Hannah," she says as she is standing so close to me we are almost sharing the same air.
"Catherine," I say back with all the courage I have gathered. This woman is scary; I hope I didn't piss her off.
"You saw that brunette right?" She almost hisses, maybe she is feline after all. Oh hell, maybe she is the real catwoman! I'm in trouble.
"Uh, yeah I did," I answer as casual and cool as possible, can't let her know I'm scared. But then again, she probably already smelled it with her catlike smelling sense or however they call that.
"She's mine," she whispers just loud enough for me to hear.
"Oh." Damn it Jenkins, very sophisticated, she will definitely think you are intelligent after that great answer.
"Stay away from her," Catherine repeats as she retreats and smiles sweetly at me. Hey two can play that game, I didn't see no sign with "Property of Catherine, no trespassing" on Sara's neck.
"That's going to be a little hard as I work with her," I reply, getting a bit of my good old style back.
"You know what I mean Jenkins," she hisses.
Hmm, should I risk it or not? I mean I've been in catfights, hell I even fought over men, but I never had a catfight with a real cat, no wonder her name is Catherine. I smirk at my own witty sense of humour, causing Catherine to jerk her head in my direction.
"What's so funny Jenkins?"
"Oh, nothing, was just thinking about something," Oh yeah Hannah, you are a real hero.
"And what might that be?"
Oops, no wonder this woman is a CSI, she doesn't let anything slip. Right there and then I decide to just spill, I might as well go down a hero.
"I was thinking that I didn't see a sign around Sara's neck saying she is yours, and I doubt that she even knows it herself."
If looks could kill, they'd be planning my funeral now. Her look changes after a few seconds though, maybe I've hit a nerve or something.
"That's something I'm working on," her voice sounds softer, as if she is admitting defeat. Nah, it can't be that easy.
"Ah I see," I say as I decide to push her a little further, "and for how long have you been working on that, if I may ask?"
"No, you may not ask," She replies in a cold almost broken tone of voice. I feel bad now, kicking the woman while she is down.
"For what it's worth, I think you should work harder. I don't know about your strategy but maybe you should use a more direct manner of approach," I say, regaining my so called self-confidence, "she doesn't strike me as the type to make the first move, if you are waiting on that, you'll probably be waiting forever."
"Shut up."
All right, that was quite clear. For now I'll just do as I'm told, don't want to get myself into real trouble.
"I have to say it Jenkins, you've got some balls," Catherine adds with a smile.
"I sure do hope I don't, I like how I am," I say referring to my femininity.
"You know what I mean smartass, I heard about your smart remarks from Sofia, you don't seem like someone on their first day. Either you are trying to make a good impression or you are just plain stupid."
Oops, she is on to me, although both her answers are right.
"If she was stupid she wouldn't be here."
Bugman is here to save the day, well the night really. I know I shouldn't really call him that since he is my boss and all, but fortunately no one can read my mind.
"Gil, how nice of you to join us," Catherine says.
Somehow I have the feeling that this is far from over. I'll probably get a lot more shit from that woman, man she needs to get laid. Maybe I should help her with it. Not that I'm the expert when it comes to dating, but this is just to save my own ass as well.
Wow, look at that! I managed to sneak out of the room without being noticed, I can go home in one piece now. Man, I'm proud of myself!
"Jenkins!"
I almost cringe; I was so close to the door, so close. Damn! I turn around to see Sara standing in the hallway, hands in her sides, looking like she is going to give me trouble. What did I do now?
"Yes?" I say with the sweetest tone of voice I can come up with at the moment. Wouldn't want to piss the gorgeous brunette off.
"Where do you think you are going?" She asks me as she is coming closer.
I check my watch, nope; I'm certainly not leaving too early. What does she want from me?
"Erm, home?" It's almost if I'm asking her a question instead of answering her. I'm quite the hero tonight aren't I? I wonder how all those guys put up with these two women, now I understand why they were so quiet. Hell I'd put them on top of my list if I had good coffee, I totally understand Greg. They'd probably make him share the last few drops of his coffee even if he hadn't had some himself!
"Wrong," she simply states.
Wrong? How can I answer that question wrong? What is going on here? I quickly check around to see if there are any of those candid cameras or if I ended up in the Twilight Zone but I don't see any cameras nor do I hear that annoying tune. What the hell?
"Sofia has got the suspect; you and I are going to PD to join in on the interrogation."
Ah ok, but hey! I just clocked out, oh man. The things I do for this woman.
"Are you guys always like this?" I ask her as we walk out of the building.
"Get used to it Jenkins," she says with a smirk. A cute smirk I might add.
I hop in just in time for Sara to drive out of the parking lot. I reckon this woman does not have a whole lot of patience when it comes to interrogating suspects, man I'm glad I'm on this side of the law, I'd sure think twice if I was a criminal in this city.
After a while of driving she turns her head to me.
"What did Catherine want?" She asks me.
I look at her with suspicion, is she clairvoyant? Or can she read my mind?
"I've known Catherine for a while, sometimes I know what she wants by the way she looks at someone," Sara explains as if she really read my mind. This is getting scary now. So Catwoman and Yoda work together on one team.
"So why are you asking me what she wanted if you know?" I try to give her a witty reply, have to keep up the good appearance.
"I know she wanted to talk to you, but not what about."
"That's something you don't want to know," I state simply as Sara pulls into the parking lot of PD, again I'm saved. Maybe there is a God or a Goddess.
"You are not getting away that easy Jenkins," Sara smirks before getting out of the car, "there is also the ride back."
I sigh, she is good. She really seems to have it all, except the understanding that Catherine wants her, well that probably half the Lab wants her.
"Come on, let's get inside, or are you going to stand there all morning?" Sara says as she is making her way to the front door.
The standing here all morning part suddenly sounds very interesting, but then again, after a while she will come back and I'll have to face hell anyway, so why not go inside with her, maybe that Sofia woman can save me this time.
Sara takes me to a room and tells me to wait here until she gets back. She points at the two-way mirror and says I can look in on the interrogation. I swear she was about to explain what a two-way mirror was, but I nodded just in time. As I look through the mirror I see Sofia is already in the room with the suspect. And yes, ladies and gentleman, it is a man. I sure feel sorry for him; this must be the worst day of his life.
Some minutes into the interview Sofia leaves the room, leaving the poor man alone with Sara. I just started wondering where the hell she ran off to when she opens the door to the room I'm standing in.
"Jenkins," she says as she nods her head and joins me at the mirror.
I nod back while I think of a good thing to say, but my mind fails me. I decide to just go with the normal thing.
"Miss Sofia the detective," I say, cringing at the sound of what I just said. I kinda do not know her last name, and oh God, maybe she is a Mrs. I think Sofia realised that I look like a deer in the headlights because she starts laughing.
"You really are the cutest woman I've ever seen around here," she says.
I shake my head in disbelief, she did NOT just say that! As my mouth hits the floor, Sofia looks at me as if an alien is growing out of my head.
"What?" The blonde asks me.
"Oh man, I feel so stupid now. Sorry, I just totally forgot your last name," I'm totally not going to react on what I think she said, for all I know it's just wishful thinking, knowing my mind is in the gutter most of the time.
"Curtis," she says with a smile and turns her attention back to the mirror.
"Curtis," I mumble.
As I turn my attention back to the mirror, I see Sara practically eating the poor suspect alive, yup, that's my girl! Well she is not really my girl, but you get the point.
"Man, I feel sorry for the criminals in this city, with you three hunting them down, they will sure not commit a crime again," I mumble, just a little too loud, making Sofia chuckle.
"You're not too bad yourself, Jenkins, use your wit on those criminals and we'll be a team of four strong women."
I think I just grew three centimetres, tomorrow I'll probably have to buy new clothes.
"Catherine scares me," I tell her.
"Yeah sometimes she scares me too, she is very clear about the things she wants," Sofia answers with a wink, "but then again, so am I."
I look at her in awe, is she flirting with me?
"Did she give you the "Sara-speech"?" I ask her.
"Yup."
"Is everyone gay here? Or is it just me?" I ask her, trying to get more out of her.
"Yup."
Wow, did I land in a good team or what? Catwoman, Yoda and a detective that likes to say yup, and they are all gay!
"Sorry for asking so many questions," I offer, although I'm not really sorry.
"You're not sorry, but that's ok, it's your job."
I swear all three of those women can read my mind! Or maybe it's me, maybe I say my thoughts out loud? I have to remind myself to check that the next time I think something.
After an exhausting night, I let myself fall on my bed. Man, this is going to be one hell of a ride. What a job. That blonde detective, she is hot, maybe if I gather the courage I will ask her out.
I am so ready for my second night at work. I'm actually looking forward to it, I don't know what I did to deserve this but it has to be something damn good.
As soon as I walk into the Las Vegas Crime Lab I bump into the hot detective that has been playing a starring role in last night's dream. Shall I ask her out now or shall I ask her out later? Ah well, why not just go for it.
"Jenkins," she says with her sexy voice, nodding in the way only detectives do.
"Curtis," I say with a smile, half because I'm glad to see her, and half because I'm proud that I remembered her name this time.
As Sofia walks past me, I turn around and stop her.
"What?" she says in a nice, but still dangerous way.
"I er..I was wondering," oh man, there it goes, "After shift, would you like to go for a drink with me?"
Sofia raises her eyebrow, damn that's hot.
"Are you asking me on a date, Jenkins?" she says with a smile as she crosses her arms in front of her chest.
Oh yeah baby, I'm asking you for a date, the whole thing, dinner, movie, ending up in bed, the WHOLE thing.
"Erm, yeah," I mumble, I'm such a hero.
"I'm not gay Hannah, but thank you for asking. We can go for a drink though, a girl's night out kind of drink?"
I wish the floor would just suck me up so I can disappear into nothingness. She is not gay? Oh man, I was so sure of it. I need to go to the garage and get my gaydar retuned.
"But, you said..," I stumble over my words, I'm so busted.
"I didn't say I was gay, I just confirmed Catherine and Sara are, at least I think so," she offers with a smile, "Sorry if I made you think the wrong thing."
Ok, so it was just wishful thinking.
"You said,"
"Yeah, I said Catherine gave me the Sara-speech, but I think she does that with everyone, I think she even gave it to Greg," Sofia chuckles at her own words.
Damn, she can read my mind. I take a deep breath and calm myself down, ok, she does want to go for a drink with me, meaning she might want to be friends or at least good colleagues, not all is lost.
"I'm sorry, I'd love to go for a drink with you, as in a girl's night out," I smile.
"I'll see you after shift," she smiles as she strides out of the Lab.
On my way on the locker room, while licking my wounds, I'm greeted by the heated sounds of Catherine and Sara fighting. I wonder when those two will get a room and fuck the tension off because it's getting annoying, even for me, and I'm only here for the second day.
I decided to barge in, even though it might mean the death of me. It's not that I really got anything to lose at the moment; my dignity and ego are gone anyway.
"Hey guys," I say to the two fighting hens. They look ready to claw at each other but are stunned to see me walk in.
"Can't you see we are busy?" Catherine bites at me.
"Last time I checked the locker room was a public area, they didn't give you an office for nothing," I bite back at her as I casually walk to my locker.
I need to get humiliated more; it sure changes my attitude for the better.
Encouraged by my recent discovery I turn towards the two and cross my arms in front of my chest.
"Ladies," I say, getting the attention of both women. They are both panting because of what they think is anger, but what the rest of the world acknowledges as arousal.
Sara and Catherine both mimic my move and cross their arms in front of their chests, if I not make it out alive, at least I had the chance to get to know these hot women.
"Why don't you two just kiss and make up, all the fighting is getting a bit old. Just get a room and fix this tension between you, haven't you heard that make up sex is the best type of sex there is?" I say, ready to face the wrath of Yoda and Cat woman.
They both look at me, stunned. Catherine starts mouthing something but nothing comes out, making her look like a fish on the dry, Sara just stares at me and then at Catherine.
I smirk, this is priceless, who would have thought they wouldn't kill me but instead realise what I've been seeing all along.
Suddenly Catherine, in stead of making a witty remark, grabs Sara and kisses her full on. Now it's my turn to be stunned and speechless, this was not how it was supposed to happen.
It takes Sara a while to reply, but when she does, I can almost see the sparks flying around. Well that's my good deed for today.
Suddenly they stop and look at me, for a moment it looks like they are going to attack me, but I'm not scared. They look a lot less dangerous, both with swollen lips, red cheeks and panting like a dog that ran around the park.
Catherine looks at me intently and motions her head towards the door. I look at the door and back at her, not understanding what she means. Until Sara walks over and shoves me out of the door that is, maybe they wanted some privacy. I smile, feeling very ashamed, I'm such a pervert.
I decide to stay here and prevent any other unsuspecting co-workers from entering the love battle field that was once called the locker room.
Greg is the first poor victim that tries to enter. He looks at me with a raised eyebrow and I smile sweetly at him.
"Greg, wanna earn a gold star?" I say to him.
Greg's eyebrow joins the other that is almost touching his hairline. "What are you talking about?" he asks, looking at me like I'm a crazy woman.
"You have your coffee list, I've got my gold star list," I tease him.
"What's your list for?" Ah I got his interest.
"You'll find out when you've got five golden stars," I say to him with a mysterious smile on my face.
"What do you want me to do?" He asks, I guess he is tired of this little game he started.
"I'd like a coffee," I say.
"Then why are you standing here? There is coffee in the break room," he says, but soon it dawns on him, "Ah, you want ME to get you some of MY famous coffee?"
I nod, this guy must be a genius. "And get yourself one while you're at it," I say after him.
"I like your thinking Jenkins," he says while already on his way to the break room.
I manage to keep off Warrick and Nick and almost manage to fail keeping Grissom out. I thought he would be the easiest one but instead he gave me the most trouble. He is like a 2 year old, asking those 'why-questions', he just didn't stop. I ended up telling him he would be traumatized if he went in. He tells me that if I see the other women I have to advise them to go to the break room. As he walks away I knock on the door.
"Ladies, time to start work," I hear a sound that was supposed to mean a confirmation. "Work now, play later," I add with a laugh as I get my ass to the break room.
The whole family is waiting in the break room for Catherine and Sara to enter. I am impressed because apart from the shit eating grins on their faces, you can't see they just came out of a heated make-out session. As Catwoman and Yoda sit down, Bugman starts talking. We are analyzing our cases and before I know another shift is over.
I see Sofia leaning against the hood of her car, looking all sexy. I better get these dirty thoughts out of my mind before I….
Suddenly I see the concrete floor of the parking lot coming closer and closer. Since when does the floor come up? Oh wait, ugh, I was going down. Strong arms are trying to get me to stand up but that's quite hard when the rest of my body isn't willing to work with me yet.
"Hannah, are you ok?" I heard a husky voice asking me.
My head shoots up at the direction of the voice, this is the first time someone is using my first name. I'm greeted by a smiling Sara Sidle, did I tell you how cute the gap between her teeth is.
Suddenly it feels like I've been slapped in the face when Catherine talks to me.
"Are you ok Jenkins?" I realise she did actually slap me in the face. I look at her in awe as she smiles at me.
"Just had to get you out of that daze," she simply states with that smug grin of hers.
I roll my eyes at her and feel that Sara is letting me go.
"I'm so sorry, I didn't see you," she offers with a slight blush on her cheeks.
I bet she didn't see me, she was probably seeing herself with Catherine in a very compromising position. I smile at her and tell her it's ok, before I walk towards Sofia I wink at her. My way of wishing her good luck, she is going to need that with Catherine.
I walk up to Sofia, who is grinning like an idiot. Even if I had a chance of 'turning' her, I just blew it by being a total klutz. Nice move Jenkins, well at least I didn't fall at her feet, now that would have been corny.
"Nice move," the blonde tells me as I get in her car, "very smooth," she adds before she bursts out laughing.
I feel myself turning red, something I normally don't do, out of free will. I feel so dumb right now and Sofia laughing at me doesn't make me feel any better. Apart from the part that at least I can make her laugh.
"You sure are something Jenkins," Sofia manages to tell me between her fits of laughter.
"Thanks, I guess," I say with a smile, her laughter sure is contagious.
The next night I entered the break room to three guys, all smiling at me. What the hell did I do? I quickly look down and see that I am indeed fully dressed, not wearing weird clothes and I didn't come in on my socks. I look up again and yes, they are still smiling goofily at me.
Greg decides to clear it all up. "Hannah, we all would like to thank you. Whatever you did with Catherine and Sara last night, it worked!"
I raise my eyebrow and look at Warrick and Nick. Maybe they can explain what Greg means, I seriously don't understand that guy at times.
"He means to say that finally the tension between those two is gone. They are actually nice to each other," Warrick explains.
"Ah ok, well I didn't really do anything," oh I'm such a bad liar, and oh so modest.
"We should start a fan club for you!" Greg jokes, although I think he could seriously mean what he just said.
"Thanks Greg, but no thanks, I really didn't do anything," I say again.
"Come on Hannah, we all know you were keeping everyone out of the locker room yesterday, have you even seen Cath and Sara?" Nick says with a smile.
I just shake my head and look at Nick in disbelief.
"Yeah, what were they doing in the locker room Hannah?" Greg asked me, raising his eyebrow. Instead of making me scared, he cracked me up, that guy seriously is funny.
I would have never expected this to happen, but Catherine saved the day by entering and taking up all the guys' attention. Catherine is a very attractive woman and she knows it, maybe she could teach me a thing or two, or three.
Well that's about it, my first week at CSI. Like I said earlier, I did fit right in, probably because my behaviour was very nerdy. I would do it all again, apart from the falling thing, but let's just forget about that. I guess I actually made a difference in this place, like the guys said, Catherine and Sara hardly fought anymore, although I had to endure hearing the heavy duty make out sessions. But I only got myself to blame for that.
Greg almost caught them the other day, he heard the moans. Well goofy as he is, he totally likes me, thus believes every word I say. I just told him that the girls where taking a shower after dumpster duty and I advised them to try the new Herbal Essences shampoo. He knew right away what I meant and he mentioned the commercial. It still makes me laugh when I think of it, he walked away mumbling that maybe he should get that shampoo too.
My last thing to do before the weekend was talking to the big boss, Gil Grissom. Well he isn't really the big boss, but I thought I'd give him a nicer nickname than bugman. After all, he is a good guy. He was going to evaluate my first week with me and tell me what I should improve or change.
"Sit down," he told me as I came into his office.
I looked around and wondered where the hell to sit. Every surface was covered in papers and some other things; I don't even want to know what it is. So instead, I opt for standing.
"I'm fine where I am Sir."
"Ok, well I have to say you managed to squeeze yourself in. Everyone seems very happy with having you on the team. Even LVPD send me an evaluation form," he starts.
I raise my eyebrow, the police force actually filled in an evaluation form? Did pigs fly?
He sees my amazement and continues, "Sofia filled in a form, saying you were very professional and you did well on the interviews," he smiles at me, which instead of comforting looks a little eerie.
"I'll remember to thank her. Anything else, Sir?"
"Yes," he says before pausing.
I almost step closer, for one reason or another I don't want to miss this.
He takes in a deep breath and looks at me thoroughly, "stop calling me Sir."
The End