DISCLAIMER: Take one look at my bank account and you will find that
I obviously don't own this show or these characters. I'm just
borrowing them for a little while so their real selves can come out
to play.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I'm totally hooked on the first season of CSI. I have the
DVD set and watch at least two episodes almost every night. Since I
came into the CSI fan fiction field a little late, it makes sense
that I'm just now writing a first season story. ::grin:: This is the
way I see Sara and Catherine's relationship advancing if they had
addressed their lack of a developing friendship early in the first
season.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
Lifetime
By Cj
In The Beginning
He was engrossed in the paperwork he had been putting off, so the
knock at his door was a surprise. He glanced up to find his young
protégé standing in his doorframe looking uneasy.
"Sara, what can I do for you?"
He could tell she was troubled but hoped it was something simple
that pertained to work. Dealing with personal problems, his or
anyone else's, was not his strong suit. His hopes were dashed,
however, when she fully entered his office and shut the door behind
her.
"I need to talk to you about something."
He took off his glasses and watched as she paced around the small
space. She was nervous, which was not a good sign. He wished she
would just say whatever was on her mind, but he knew that Sara had
to be ready before she would open her mouth.
"Look, you've got to stop calling on me when you need a mole. I
can't be a part of the team if the team doesn't trust me."
Although he was a little shocked over the subject of her admission,
he was prepared for her bluntness. It was just another Sara Sidle
trait.
"Okay," he drawled. "Where is this coming from?"
He asked the question, but he knew the answer. He had been witness
to the latest confrontation between the young woman in front of him
and his lead CSI. Catherine had been giving Sara a hard time since
the level 2 had appeared in Las Vegas approximately six months
earlier. He wasn't entirely sure why but he had his ideas.
"I may never be friends with these people, but I would like for them
to respect my work. They can't do that if they can't trust me and
they can't trust me if I'm your go-to-girl whenever you want to spy
on them."
"Is there anything else?"
"Yes."
He knew there had to be something more than what she had already
voiced, but another minute passed before she continued.
"When you have me to track someone, like Warrick, and then you
completely dismiss my findings without offering an explanation, I
feel like you're writing me off to protect your favorite CSI. In
turn, I get angry and everyone around here treats me like I'm
deliberately setting out to ruin their friend's career." She took a
deep breath before adding, "I know you think you're teaching us
something when you let us work out our issues by ourselves, but
sometimes just being told the information is enough. If you had
explained what Warrick had been doing at that casino, I wouldn't
have gotten so outraged and we could have worked together better."
"I think you did fine, Sara."
It was his turn to pause and he worded his next statement carefully.
"If I had told you, then whatever feelings you had toward Warrick
would never have been addressed. The two of you needed to get some
things out in the open before you could start building a successful
working relationship."
The expression on her face told him that she could not believe that
he was once again lecturing her.
"Look, Sara, you're right. The next time I need to investigate
someone in my department, you won't be my first call. I want you to
be a part of this team. You already are, whether you know it or not."
At first, he thought she was going to argue with him, but, finally,
she just smiled and nodded her head.
"Thank you."
Grissom just shrugged.
"Hey," he said before she could open the door. "You should talk to
her."
Sara stood completely still and kept her back to him while answering.
"I don't know who you're talking about."
"Sara, talk to her," he urged. "She likes you. She respects you. You
and I both know you're not worried about Warrick and Nick. They're
easy and you have no trouble relating to them. You wouldn't her
either if you would just talk to her."
"She's never given me a chance," she all but whispered.
"Then take one."
Sara, once again, just nodded then disappeared.
Taking A Chance
When she could, Sara avoided spending any time with Catherine. It
wasn't that she disliked the older CSI, quite the opposite actually,
but she couldn't stop her mouth from running away from her whenever
she was around the strawberry blonde. Sara knew that the two of them
made a good team, but she also knew that the level 3 brought out the
worst in her. For some reason, whenever they were together,
Catherine caused the younger woman to lose control of her emotions.
When she wasn't looking at the other woman in complete awe, Sara was
trying to one-up Catherine, whom she desperately wanted to impress.
The subject had been distracting the level 2 CSI for several days,
especially since her conversation with Grissom earlier in the week.
For now, she was in the break room trying to work on paperwork, but
she couldn't concentrate. Instead, she was staring off into space,
lost in her own thoughts.
"Hey, Sara, you seem preoccupied. You okay?"
The voice startled her, and she dropped her pen. Glancing up, she
noticed her colleague sitting across from her nursing a cup of
coffee. She had no idea how long he'd been there.
"Oh, yeah, I'm just thinking about something," she responded
sheepishly.
"Anything I can help with?"
Sara seemed deep in thought for a long moment, weighing whether she
wanted to discuss what had been on her mind. Eventually, her
curiosity won out over her embarrassment.
"Nick, you and Catherine work well together. You laugh, talk, get
along well. Why can't she and I do that?"
"You're too much alike," he answered immediately, his charming smile
growing even as he spoke. The indignation quickly settled on Sara's
face and was apparent in her tone.
"What do you mean? We're nothing alike! She's stubborn, bossy,
arrogant."
"Brilliant, self-motivated, beautiful, determined, dedicated. Sara,
the two of you are so similar it's no wonder that you don't get
along," he laughed. "You take her too seriously sometimes." Off her
annoyed look, he sighed but continued. "Listen, instead of arguing
with her or getting angry when she argues with you, try
compromising. Hear her out and ask her to listen to you. Talk to
her. Get to know her. Let her get to know you." His smile vanished
and he reached out to touch her hand. "Sara, you and Catherine are
an unbeatable team when you work together. Nothing gets by either of
you and you're both willing to work until you can't walk to solve a
case. Just don't let competition get in the way of that."
He flashed her another grin before standing and disappearing. Sara
wanted to disagree with him but she couldn't. Although she had never
considered that she and Catherine were too much alike, now that the
thought had been planted, she could easily see the truth behind
it.
The problem was, of course, finding common ground. Although they had
worked together on several occasions, they had rarely made time to
have a conversation outside of job-related issues. Everyone thought
Catherine and Sara disliked each other, and neither woman had made
an effort to dispel that idea, which now worried the brunette. Her
respect and admiration for the older CSI had grown tenfold since
their first case together and she found herself wanting to be the
other woman's friend. The thought that Catherine really didn't like
her made Sara's stomach ache. She knew what would happen if they
continued on the road they were on. In the end, what everyone
thought now would become reality later.
So Sara decided to formulate a plan. Although she had no idea how,
she would make an effort to open up to Catherine a little bit more
and would force the other woman to do the same.
"Grissom said you wanted to talk to me." Sara's head snapped up at
the sound of the recognizable voice, and the surprise she was
feeling was clear in her expression. "You didn't want to talk to
me?" Catherine asked, her confusion evident at the other woman's
reaction.
"I, uh, well.Would you like to have breakfast with me?" she
stuttered, adding, "Right now. We could go to that new place down
the road."
"Sure. Let me grab my jacket." Catherine was almost out of the door
before she turned back to her colleague. "Sara, are you okay?"
"Yeah," she responded. "Fine. Why?"
"Nothing. You've just seemed anxious the last few days. Is there
something going on?"
"No, not really. There was something but I think I've got it figured
out." Although she didn't look entirely convinced, Catherine just
nodded her head. "But thank you...for caring," Sara added.
"Uh, yeah, sure. I'll meet you outside in five, okay?"
Sara just smiled as she watched the other woman disappear. She
gathered what she had been working on and put it away before heading
to the car park. She wasn't sure what would be happening next but
she had a good feeling. Going out to breakfast, just the two of
them, was a good start to developing a friendship. Or, at the very
least, a better working relationship.
"You ready?" Once again the younger CSI was caught with her mind in
space. This time, however, she recovered before her companion
noticed.
"Most definitely. You wanna drive?"
"Nope. You can do the honors."
Sara smiled as she unlocked her Tahoe. Both ladies got in and
buckled their seatbelts. The radio came on as soon as the SUV was
cranked. Catherine reached to lower the volume but she didn't switch
it off. As Sara pulled out of the garage and turned onto the
highway, she noticed the other woman's head swaying to the music.
"I never figured you for a blues fan."
"Blame Grissom. He's not a huge fan, but once, about eight years
ago, we worked a case involving a local blues singer. Gris started
throwing out facts and trivial information. I, on the other hand,
took the time to listen to the music. I found the rhythm soothing. A
whole new side of sexy."
Sara glanced at her passenger and felt herself smile again. It was
rare that Catherine shared this kind of familiarity with her.
"You don't strike me as a blues fan, either. What's your interest?"
"Back in Tamales Bay there was a little coffee shop about four
blocks from my house. When I wanted to get away from my family, I
would hide out there. No one from my high school would have been
caught dead in that place and I could work or read in relative
quiet. Blues music was usually on in the background. I guess you
could say I learned to like it."
"I can see that," she said. "A younger Sara Sidle hiding out in the
back corner of a dark bar working on scientific arguments that
should have been beyond her grade level."
Sara started to disagree but bit her tongue before she opened her
mouth. Maybe, she thought, Nick was right. Perhaps she did take
Catherine too seriously. So, instead of arguing, she laughed.
"You're right. I did spend a lot of time alone, but I had good
reason."
"Really. Want to share?"
"At some point, yeah. It's not something I want to talk about now
though." Bad memories from her younger years flashed through Sara's
mind. For a moment, she was silent before shaking herself out of her
thoughts and continuing with her light tone. "And I had friends. My
best friend, AJ, was actually a lot like you."
"How so?"
"Well, she argued with me all the time," she replied
playfully. "Never gave me any slack. She challenged me, and she
always watched out for everyone she cared about. She was smart and
compassionate, and a hard worker with a unique sense of humor."
Catherine felt her cheeks reddening from the compliment. This was a
side of her companion she was not accustomed to experiencing and she
wasn't sure how to respond.
"What? No checkered past?" she said nonchalantly, trying to cover
her wariness. A smile was her only answer. "So, what happened to AJ?"
"We're still friends. Not as close as we once were. After college,
we went our separate ways, but we stay in touch. I'm not sure what
happened."
Catherine knew from Sara's tone that there was something else about
the story she wasn't telling. She also knew that the younger woman
wouldn't explain until she was ready. Before she had the chance to
even ask, Sara was parking the car outside of a small diner past the
strip. The two women made it inside and to a table before speaking
again.
"So, what are you in the mood for?" Catherine questioned as she
looked over the menu.
"I think I'm in the mood for breakfast food, like pancakes."
"You still off the meat?"
Sara glanced up at her associate in surprise. She hadn't realized
Catherine even knew that she had given up meat.
"Uh, yeah. Since that experiment with the pig, I can't force myself
to eat anything that was once alive."
Both women smiled as the waitress appeared.
"You ladies ready to order?"
"Yeah," Catherine said. "I think we'll both have the pancakes with
coffee." She turned to Sara. "You want anything else? Maybe some
orange juice?"
"Sounds good."
"So, Sara, have any big plans for the day?" Catherine asked once the
waitress had gone.
"Not really. You and I both know that I'd still be at work right now
if we weren't here. I'm still getting adjusted."
"How's your apartment?"
"Nice. Comfortable. I haven't even finished unpacking yet," she
admitted sheepishly, which made Catherine smile. "But I plan on
finishing it next weekend. How about you? Any plans?"
"Same as every other day. Go home, do laundry, shower, sleep, pick
up Lindsay, eat dinner, drop Lindsay off, go to work. It's a vicious
cycle."
"What about on Saturday?"
"Uh, no, nothing right now. Why?"
"Well, I was thinking, if you wanted, that we could take Lindsay to
the zoo. I mean, I haven't been to the Las Vegas zoo yet, and I'd
like to get to know Lindsay better. We've only met a couple of
times."
Curiosity and surprise warred in Catherine's gaze at the other
woman's offer. Suddenly, she remembered the conversation she'd had
with their boss earlier in the day.
"Sara, what did you want to talk to me about earlier? What did
Grissom mean?"
The brunette took a deep breath and sighed. She was saved from
answering by the arrival of their food but as soon as the waitress
disappeared, Catherine pinned Sara with her eyes.
"This, Catherine. Us, talking, having an actual conversation. We've
never done this before."
"Okay. You're right. We haven't, but what's the big deal?"
The level 2 hesitated but finally said, "I...I want us to be friends.
I thought it would be a good start if we spent some time together,
got to know one another better."
Sara could see the astonishment once again flicker across the older
woman's face and felt the blush heat her own. When the younger woman
ducked her head, Catherine smiled. She couldn't believe how cute
Sara could be when embarrassed.
"Sara, I...I'm surprised." She hastened to add, "But a good surprised.
What, uh, what brought all this on now?"
"Honestly? Fear. If we keep going the way we've been going, we'll
lose the chance to develop a solid friendship. I don't want to do
that."
Both women were flabbergasted at what Sara was revealing because
neither of them were used to this level of honesty from the
brunette. At first, Catherine wasn't sure what to say.
"I'd liked us to be friends," she said, settling on a simple
response. "And I'm sure Lindsay would love to go to zoo on Saturday.
Are you sure you're ready for a day with a six year old?"
"I can handle you all day. She can't be any worse."
"Watch it, Sidle, or I'll feed you to the lions."
As they finished their meal, their conversation shifted to less
intense matters, and Sara's grin reflected her newfound
lightheartedness. Maybe, she thought, this could be the start of
what she had been looking for all her life. Just maybe.
What Now?
"Since, uh, we skipped lunch, wanna get something to eat? Walk it
off?" Sara asked, concern tingeing her voice. For a moment, she
wasn't sure the other woman had even heard her.
"I gotta go home. Thanks, rain check?"
"Uh huh."
The older woman quickly made her way outside without another glance
at her friend. All she wanted to do was go home to see her daughter,
but when she reached her car, she remembered that Lindsay was
sleeping over at a classmate's house. Instead of going back inside,
she just leaned against her Tahoe lost in thought. A little while
later, she wasn't sure how long, a voice startled her out of her
reverie.
"Hey, you okay?"
Catherine looked up to see Sara. Even in the dim lighting, the
younger woman could see the worry lines etched on her colleague's
face.
"Yeah, just thinking about this damn case."
"Lindsay's sleepover is tonight?" Catherine just nodded, not at all
surprised that Sara would remember that detail of her life. "Are you
going to be alright?"
The level 3 took a deep breath before actually looking at the other
woman.
"I just don't get it. How could anyone hurt a child, especially a
mother? I just don't get it."
The look of devastation on Catherine's face caused Sara's heart to
break. She moved forward until she was leaning next to the redhead.
"I don't understand either. The only thing I can tell you is that
woman in there is sick. She doesn't realize what she's lost, what a
gift she's thrown away. But we got her, Cath. She's going to prison,
hopefully for the rest of her life. We gave Sandi that much."
"It's more than her mother gave her," Catherine whispered. They
stood in silence for several long moments lost in thought, staring
at the stars.
"You should go home. Try to get some sleep," Sara finally said.
"Only if you come with," Catherine replied, surprising them both. "I
don't want to be alone."
"Okay. Let's go."
Catherine handed Sara the keys to the Tahoe and the brunette
accepted them without a word. That hush continued until they reached
Catherine's house and were inside. The older CSI left Sara to lock
the door behind them and flopped onto the couch in the living room.
With her eyes closed, she only felt the other woman join her.
Sara took an almost guilty pleasure in watching the woman sitting
next to her. She rarely got the opportunity to study Catherine so
intently and so up close. The younger CSI avoided her sudden urge to
pull the other woman near to her. That urge had been manifesting
itself quite frequently in the last few months and with each
instance, Sara had a harder time resisting the temptation.
Catherine, being the tactile person that she was, didn't help. It
was a trait that she had passed on to her daughter, who Sara was
growing very attached to, and something that Sara enjoyed immensely.
The silence between them was broken by the ringing of a phone, which
pulled both women out of their trances. Catherine glanced at Sara
before reaching for the cordless.
"Hello," she said, her tiredness evident in her tone, but a second
later, a smile replaced her frown. "Hey, baby. How ya doing? Good.
Having fun? No, I finished early, so I came home. Of course, I would
never forget you. I'll pick you up from school tomorrow and we can
have ice cream. I don't know, sweetie, but she's here if you want to
ask her."
Sara was surprised when Catherine handed her the phone with a smile.
"Hello. No, I came home to keep Mommy company. Uh, well, I don't
know. I should be. Why? Ice cream, huh? I think I can stick around
for ice cream. Can I have double chocolate? Okay, sounds like a
plan. Alright, kiddo, I'll see you tomorrow."
The smile on Sara's face caused Catherine's smile to grow. Taking
back the phone, she moved closer to the younger woman and leaned
back into the couch until she was sitting cattycornered.
"I'll see you tomorrow, Lindsay. Sleep tight. Yeah, I'll make sure
she's there. She's going to stay with me tonight and I won't let her
out of my sight. I promise. Alright, sweetie, good night."
Catherine hit the end button and returned the handset to its cradle.
She turned to Sara, who blushed when she realized the other woman
had caught her staring.
"So," the brunette said. "Am I being held captive?"
"Yes. I'm supposed to make sure that you show up for ice cream
tomorrow." Catherine watched Sara for a moment before
continuing. "My little girl is quite infatuated with you, Miss
Sidle. She talks about you all the time."
"I'm glad. I like her, too. It'll be good to see her. It's been too
long."
"That's what she said. She likes it when you spend Saturdays with
us."
"Well, we could take in a movie this weekend. Maybe hit the mall. I
need new boots and I know how much Lindsay loves to shop."
"She would love that, but I don't think you know what you're in for.
Taking Lindsay to the mall is like taking Grissom to a bug
convention," Catherine laughed.
"I'll take my chances," Sara answered with a grin. She studied the
woman across from her for a long moment, which made Catherine's
smile vanish.
"What?"
"Nothing," Sara nodded. "I'm just glad to see you happy."
"Having you here helps. Some cases." Catherine sighed and closed her
eyes. "Some are hard to get out of my mind, especially those
involving children. I just don't understand how anyone could harm a
child, a little girl who just wants to go to an amusement park, to
spend time with her mother."
Sara let the other woman talk, hoping that she would get all her
thoughts out in the open. After a moment, the anguish in Catherine's
voice caused the younger CSI to reach out her hand to her friend,
who squeezed Sara's fingers tightly.
"Thank you," the strawberry blonde whispered.
"I'll always try to be here, Cat. For you and for Lindsay," Sara
said and tugged on Catherine's hand, pulling the shorter woman into
her arms.
They settled quickly, falling naturally into a comfortable position.
Catherine's head was tucked under Sara's chin, her arms around
Sara's waist. Sara took in the fresh scent of Catherine's hair,
burying her nose in the soft tresses. After a while, Catherine's
breathing evened out and she was leaning more heavily against Sara,
who responded by hugging the other woman tighter. The last thing the
younger CSI remembered was thinking she could definitely get used to
falling asleep like that every night.
Moving Forward
"Sara," she questioned, her mind going into overdrive. "What if the
attacker wasn't a stranger?"
The brunette moved closer to her colleague but didn't interrupt the
other woman's thought processes. She knew that Catherine was on to
something, most likely something that would break the case. Besides,
Sara loved to watch the blonde work. Her approach to an
investigation held an almost hypnotic quality that the younger CSI
admired.
"Let's try something," the senior CSI said as she stood. "The
attacker was behind his victim, holding her with one arm around her
shoulders and the other around her waist."
Catherine turned so that her back was to her colleague. Sara, taking
the hint, put her arms where instructed and pulled her friend closer
to her body. At the contact, the taller woman had to bite back a
moan. It was getting harder and harder to deny her attraction to her
coworker and moments like these made it even more difficult.
"The victim tries to get loose by squirming around to loosen his
hold," Catherine continued. As she spoke, her movements mimicked her
words. Sara instinctively tightened her grip while the woman in her
grasp tried to pull Sara's arms loose with her free hands. When
Catherine stilled, her friend's clasp loosened but didn't fall
away. "This isn't right. Tonya's attackers wouldn't have left her
hands unattended." Catherine pulled away from Sara slightly and put
her own arms to her sides. "Now, try again." Sara once again wrapped
her arms around the smaller woman. Catherine tried to move but found
she couldn't. "See. Tonya knows who attacked her. Whoever it was,
she trusted him. She let him get close."
"How do you know?" Sara asked, her voice low next to Catherine's ear.
"This is a lover's embrace." As if to prove her point, Catherine
completely relaxed into Sara's arms. "You only let someone you
trust, someone you love, this close. It's a loss of control."
The younger CSI felt her face become flushed at her friend's words
and actions. Catherine's hair brushed her cheek when the blonde
moved, and for a moment, Sara closed her eyes enjoying the
sensation. She knew this experiment would fuel her imagination for
many nights to come.
"What are you doing?" Sara's eyes flew open at the sound of her
boss's voice, but she didn't let the woman in her arms go. Catherine
was still leaned against her.
"Working on the Simpson case. I think we've got it figured out."
"Looks like fun," Grissom responded, a barely suppressed smirk
marking his face.
"It is," Catherine answered, her voice vibrating through Sara's
body.
"Keep up the good work," he said before disappearing down the
hallway.
"Good thing Greg can't see us. We'd have to pick up his jaw from the
floor."
I know how he feels Sara thought as she released her colleague.
"So, did, uh, did Tonya mention anyone special in her life?" the
level 2 CSI asked to get her mind back on track.
"No, but I don't think it'll take much to convince her. Let's go."
Three hours later, the two women returned to CSI headquarters with a
suspect and a confession. It hadn't taken their victim long to turn
on her boyfriend and an even shorter amount of time to find and
arrest him.
"I'm going to take these to the evidence room," Sara said, holding up
the bags that held the clothing the man had worn during the attack.
"Okay, I'm going to start on the report." The women separated but
didn't get far before Catherine called out to her younger
colleague. "Hey, Sara, want to grab breakfast when shift is over?"
"Definitely," the brunette answered and turned back toward the
evidence room with a smile.
After she finished checking in the evidence, Sara wandered down the
main hallway of CSI lost in thought. Although the majority of her
free time was now spent with Catherine and Lindsay, Sara still felt
nervous whenever she had the opportunity to be with Catherine alone
outside of work. The women had taken to having breakfast together
after shift most mornings and had even picked up a usual table at
their favorite restaurant. The easy camaraderie they had formed was
occasionally bombarded with moments of palpable, yet pleasurable,
tension. But those moments confused Sara and she wasn't sure what to
do about them. She still hadn't fully admitted to herself how she
felt about the other woman but it was becoming harder and harder to
ignore the feeling in her stomach whenever she was around Catherine.
"Sara." At the sound of her name, the brunette turned to see her
boss coming toward her.
"Grissom. What's up?" she asked, pulling her mind from her thoughts.
"You and Catherine seem to be getting along better these days."
"Yeah, we've become friends. Thanks."
"You make a good team. Speaking of which, how's your case coming
along?"
"Good. Solved," Sara answered. "Cat's doing the preliminary
paperwork right now."
"The boyfriend?"
"Yeah, our vic broke soon after we started questioning her. She told
us where we could find the boyfriend. We got a warrant on her ID,
and the DNA matched."
"Good work. Aren't you and Catherine off tonight?" Sara nodded.
"We're taking Lindsay to the night show of The Pied Piper just
outside of Greensboro."
"Have fun."
"I'm sure we will. See you tomorrow, Gris."
"Bye Gil," Catherine said as she passed Grissom in the hall. "You
ready to go?" she asked when she was in front of the tall woman.
"Yeah, I'm starved."
"Good. I've got a surprise for you."
Sara followed behind her friend like an excited puppy.
"A surprise? What is it?"
"If I told you, it wouldn't be a surprise, now would it?" she
replied teasingly.
"Aww, Cat. C'mon. Tell me."
"Not yet. Get in the car."
Sara whined but did as she was told. After they were both settled
and Catherine had pulled out onto the highway, the younger woman
turned to her friend.
"Am I going to like it?"
"I hope so."
"If you tell me what it is, I'll tell you if I'll like it," Sara
argued reasonably, which only caused Catherine to laugh.
"You'll know soon enough."
"Cat, you just missed the turn."
"I thought we'd have breakfast at my house."
"Is that part of my surprise?"
"Yeah."
"So far, I like it," Sara responded quietly. Catherine just smiled.
The rest of the ride was made in silence, neither woman saying a
word until they were inside Catherine's house.
"Want some orange juice and pancakes?"
"Sounds good."
"Wash your hands. You get to help."
"Forcing me into manual labor can't be my surprise," Sara said as
she took off her jacket and made her way to the sink. Catherine's
only response was to swat the other CSI on her bottom
with a dishrag. "Ouch. Hey!"
Sara turned to grab the rag and instead got a handful of Catherine.
The two women lost their balance in a tangle of arms and legs and
landed on the floor in laughter. Sara was very aware of Catherine's
body pressed into hers and the other woman's ragged breathing
tickling her collarbone. Looking down into the blue eyes of her
friend, Sara felt her heart stop.
"Seems we've spent most of the day in each other's arms," Catherine
said as she settled a hand on Sara's hip.
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. You?"
"Wonderful," Sara answered and felt the heat rush to her cheeks. She
started to extricate herself from their predicament but Catherine's
hand on her outer thigh stopped her.
"Sara. Sara, look at me. Please."
Against her better judgment, Sara looked down at the woman in her
arms. There was a pleading quality to Catherine's voice and the same
was in Catherine's eyes. Before Sara could formulate a question,
Catherine's lips were on hers. The kiss was soft, gentle, and more
pleasurable than even her dreams had imagined. When Catherine pulled
away, Sara kept her eyes closed. She didn't want to see the regret
on her friend's face.
"Sara." The brunette just nodded. "Sara, baby, was that okay?"
Again, Sara just nodded. Don't get your hopes up she told herself.
Catherine was at a loss on how to get Sara to talk to her, so she
did the only thing she could think of, she kiss the other woman
again. A few minutes later, when Catherine pulled back again, she
smiled at the moan that escaped Sara's lips. "Are you going to talk
to me now?"
"If I don't, will you kiss me again?"
"No." Sara's eyes opened at that answer.
"What do you want to talk about? I'll tell you anything." Catherine
laughed.
"You can start with how you liked your surprise."
"I...you mean.Cat?" the taller questioned, her confusion evident.
"I'm sorry, Sara. This isn't exactly what I had in mind, but I'm not
going to complain." Catherine wiggled a little bit, her body sliding
down Sara's taller frame with ease.
"This was a setup?" Sara asked incredulously.
"I got tired of waiting on you. I had to do something to speed
things up."
"You little vixen! I can't believe.." Catherine didn't give her the
chance to finish her sentence before claiming her soon-to-lover's
lips for another passionate kiss.
"Sara, we need to talk," the blonde said after a few more kisses.
The other woman sighed but nodded.
"Yeah, I guess we do." At the despondent look on her companion's
face, Catherine caressed her cheek.
"No worries, sweetie. This is just the beginning. We'll get back to
the good stuff soon."
"Promise?"
"I promise."
Sara believed her.
Looking Back
"Can we go for ice cream?" Lindsay asked as she got in the car.
"Sure, but don't you want to go get Mommy first?" The brunette
driver asked. Lindsay shrugged.
"If you want but we don't have to. Mommy won't let me get two scoops
before dinner."
"Ahh. Well, we can't have that. Let's just keep it you and me, huh?"
Sara smiled and checked the rearview mirror to ensure her charge was
buckled in before pulling out of the school parking lot. "So, what
did you do today?"
Lindsay's answer lasted all the way through ice cream and the drive
home but Sara didn't mind. She loved spending time with the little
chatterbox and was happy that Lindsay seemed content to be with her.
When they arrived home, Sara went around to the backseat to help
Lindsay but the young girl was already out of the car and heading
toward the house.
"Don't run," Sara warned as she gathered Lindsay's backpack and shut
the car door. She followed Lindsay inside and was met by her
girlfriend in the living room.
"Did you have a good day, sweetie?" Sara heard Catherine ask her
daughter.
"Yeah, Sara and I went for ice cream."
Catherine glanced at the brunette over Lindsay's head and raised an
eyebrow.
"I bet Sara let you have double scoops, didn't she?"
"Yep, but don't be mad at her, Mommy. She can't say no to either of
us when we pout." Sara blushed but Catherine just laughed. Lindsay
had heard Sara say the same statement one night after Catherine
wanted to watch a movie that Sara wasn't interested in. The little
girl enjoyed repeating the phrase whenever she could.
"Alright, but you know you shouldn't abuse Sara's weakness like
that."
"She doesn't mind," Lindsay said as she sat down on the
couch. "She's like you, Mom. She loves me." The little girl turned
on the television and missed the look that passed between the two
women. Catherine reached out her hand to her girlfriend and pulled
the woman into the kitchen.
"So," the blond asked as she stepped into the other woman's
embrace. "You love my daughter, huh?"
Sara nodded and answered, "And her mother," before kissing her
softly.
"Good because I have a surprise for you," Catherine said when they
parted.
"I love your surprises," Sara responded, remembering the last time
her girlfriend surprised her. It was the beginning of their
relationship.
"Do you know what today is?"
Sara smiled. She had a surprise of her own planned for later. She
couldn't believe their one anniversary was finally here.
"Should I?" she asked teasingly.
"Behave or you don't get what I have for you," Catherine warned.
Sara tried to look contrite but couldn't stop the smile from
spreading across her face.
"What is it?"
"Don't start that. You'll know soon enough."
"Cat," Sara whined. Catherine kissed her girlfriend's lips before
disappearing into the living room. The brunette heard the television
turn off and the mother/daughter team talking. A minute later,
Lindsay came into the kitchen with her backpack.
"Math first," she proclaimed. "I have a test tomorrow."
Sara settled down at the table to help the little girl with her
homework just as she did every weekday afternoon. Catherine busied
herself with laundry and straightening up the house while her girls
worked. Occasionally, she would stand in the entryway of the kitchen
to watch them. She enjoyed seeing them interact with each other and
loved that they had formed a strong bond over the course of the last
year and a half. Even when she and Sara were just friends, Lindsay
would beg to spend time with the taller woman and Catherine knew
that Sara felt the same. As she passed by the kitchen on the way to
Lindsay's room, she peeked in to see one light and one dark head
close and knew that they were whispering about something. Although
she was curious, she let it go and just laughed quietly. They would
tell her soon enough. She had learned the hard way how difficult it
could be to get them to share their secrets before they were ready.
When she finished putting away her daughter's clothes, she checked
the clock and made her way back to where she had just been.
"Time for dinner," she announced. "What are we in the mood for?"
"Pizza," Sara and Lindsay chorused. Catherine turned to look at them
over the refrigerator door.
Narrowing her eyes at the two sitting at the table, she said, "I
detect a setup."
"Who us?" Sara asked innocently.
"Never us, Mommy," Lindsay chimed. Catherine watched as Sara gently
elbowed the little girl in the side and both of them smiled.
"Uh, huh. Well, okay, if you've finished your homework, pizza is
fine with me. Pack your bag and gather your things so we won't have
to make another trip by here."
Lindsay jumped up from the table and ran to her room. Catherine put
her hands on her hips as she turned to see Sara still smiling.
"You two are trouble," the blonde said but even her fake anger
melted when the brunette got up and enveloped her in a tight embrace.
"I thought you had a thing for dangerous types."
"Apparently, but at least you're the safe kind," the older woman
responded as she kissed her girlfriend. They sighed when they heard
Lindsay from her bedroom.
"Sara!"
"Duty calls," the requested party replied before untangling herself
from Catherine, who grinned.
Half an hour later, all three were in the car and heading to
Lindsay's favorite pizza place. The adults knew that they wouldn't
have a chance for silence again until after dinner and they dropped
the little girl off at Catherine's sister for the night. Neither
woman complained since both had the night off and special plans for
the rest of the evening. It was after 7 before they made their way
to Nancy's house as Lindsay regaled them of tales about how she beat
the games at the restaurant, and it was after 8 before Sara and
Catherine reached the blonde's home.
"Alone at last," Catherine said when she entered the house. She felt
Sara's arms come around her from behind.
"Do I get my surprise now?"
"Don't you want to wait?" Catherine asked, placing teasingly sweet
kisses on Sara's neck. Her response was a moan that reverberated
through her body. She smiled against the other woman's skin.
"Catherine," Sara almost growled.
"Okay, okay. Come on. We have to talk."
Sara stiffened at those words, but she knew the news couldn't
possibly be bad considering Catherine's demeanor. She allowed her
girlfriend to pull her into the living room and onto the couch.
"Since we promised each other that we wouldn't buy anything for this
auspicious occasion, I thought now would be a good time to ask you
to do something that I've wanted you to do for a while now. If you
don't want to or you need more time, tell me. I'll understand, but
I'm ready whenever you are."
"Cat, just tell me."
"Sara, I love you and Lindsay loves you. We both want you to be a
permanent part of our lives. We want you to move in with us. We want
this to be your home."
Sara looked astonished and for a moment, Catherine thought she had
made a mistake, but then suddenly she was being swept into her
girlfriend's arms.
"I...Are you sure? I mean, I...I'd love to," Sara whispered into
Catherine's hair. She pulled away to look the blonde in the
eyes. "Have you talked to Lins about this?"
"Yeah, of course. She's thrilled with the idea. I, uh, I also talked
to my lawyer."
"Your lawyer? Why?"
"Sara, you're going to be Lindsay's parent. I want you to have some
legal say in what happens to her. I mean, if something should happen
to me, I want you to raise her."
The younger woman's eyes grew moist at the firm confession.
Catherine gently wiped away the tears.
"I don't know what to say," Sara admitted. "Are you sure?"
"Very. She loves you, we both do, and I know that you love both of
us. I know that you'll take care of her. You've been doing that for
the past year and a half, just like you did tonight. I know you let
her pick the place to eat so she would feel like a part of this day."
"Busted," Sara said, a blush heating her cheeks. Looking at the
other woman, her tone turned serious. "I..Cat, I'm honored. Thank
you. I'll do my best."
"I'm not worried," Catherine reassured. "That is, if you think you
can live with a teenage girl? I have a feeling I'm going to need all
the help I can get."
Sara laughed and pulled the other woman into her embrace. They held
each other for a long moment, both enjoying the contact, and then
Sara tugged on Catherine's hair.
"I've got something for you, too. It's not as important as what you
just gave me, but I thought it might help you understand me and how
much you mean to me." Sara took a deep breath before continuing. "Do
you know how you're always asking me about my childhood, about what
I went through and what happened?" Catherine nodded. "Well, my
brother has a storage room in California where he put a lot of our
childhood memorabilia after my parents moved out of the house where
we grew up. I called him a few weeks ago and asked if he could find
the journals I used to keep when I was younger." Sara got up from
the couch and disappeared down the hallway. She returned a minute
later with a medium-sized box that she handed the other woman. "I
know I sometimes have trouble talking about my past, but everything
you would want to know are in those journals." Catherine opened the
box to find half a dozen notebooks, each filled with pages of Sara's
writing. She held them reverently as she looked from them to her
girlfriend.
"Sara," she said, tears coming back to her eyes. "I...thank you. I...I
know how hard it is for you to share your personal thoughts and
feelings. Thank you."
"Catherine, you have all of me - my past, my present, and my future.
That is, if you still want me after reading those books."
"I'll want you. It seems like I've always wanted you," Catherine
answered, her voice rough with emotion. She kissed her lover sweetly
before smiling against her lips. "Matter of fact, I want you right
now."
"I'm all yours," Sara responded, pushing her lover into the couch
cushions and kissing her passionately.
"Good," was the only reply.
The End