DISCLAIMER: Murder in Suburbia and its characters are the property of ITV. No infringement intended.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Thanks to Ann for the beta and warpedscientist for the prompt.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
"What are my three rules about alien invasion, Scribbs?"
The blonde stared in slack-jawed astonishment at the tiny green figures swarming the high street. They were grotesque. Grubby little fingers touched everything within reach, leaving dirty brown smears across shop windows and car bonnets alike, as they marked their territory. Their high pitched squeals set Scribbs' teeth on edge, and she could think of only one solution, "Kill, kill, kill?"
Ash smirked. "Tempting." She looked at the invading army of green; the colour might have worked for Kermit the Frog but, as a school uniform, it left a lot to be desired. "But they are only children, Scribbs, and I don't think the Chief Constable would look kindly on a massacre."
Scribbs was sure, that had he been there, he'd have given his blessing but, in his absence, mass murder was probably off the cards. "Remind me never to reproduce," she said around a shudder, her smile dwindling at the flare of indignation that crossed Ash's face. "What?"
"You don't want children?" Ash banished the screaming mob of youth from her thoughts and turned her full attention on Scribbs. "But I thought..." Her brow furrowed as she was forced to re-examine everything she'd hoped for the future. "You like children!" she accused.
"I do?" Singularly, the little monsters could be adorable, but en masse they scared the bejesus out of Scribbs. "Since when?"
"We talked about it," said Ash, the accusation still clear in her voice. "And you said we'd make great parents."
"We would," Scribbs agreed. Ash would be strict on the outside but putty beneath, and her children would love her for it, whereas Scribbs knew she'd be a pushover from the get-go and probably turn into one of those gushing mothers who made her skin crawl. "But I didn't mean our kids -" she thought about qualifying the statement and acknowledging that Ash hadn't meant the children they would have together, but rather the ones they would have with future partners, but she was happy to cling to the fantasy for as long as she could "- they'd be little angels."
"Angels?" Even in her most vivid flights of fancy, Ash hadn't imagined a little Scribbins to be anything other than a cheeky little minx, even with her as a second parent. "I wouldn't go that far, but they'd be ours, and we'd love them. Right?"
"Absolutely." Scribbs could see herself, some time in the future, a smile of indulgence on her face, as she sat beside a mini-Ash, helping her with her maths homework. "I can't wait."
Then why are we? Ash wanted to ask, but the gulf between her fantasies and reality was too wide for the question to be spoken aloud. It was enough, for now, to know that when the time came, Scribbs would be as anxious to enlarge their family as she was.
"Come on, Scribbs, let's get back to the station before we're overrun by the little aliens."
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