DISCLAIMER: Criminal Minds and its characters are the property of CBS. No infringement intended.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Thank you to Ann for the beta and comma retrieval.
CHALLENGE: Written for the second 24 Hour Challenge.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.

A Little Matchmaking
By ralst


"Penelope Garcia's haven of Heavenly delights, how may I be of assistance?"

"Hey, baby-girl, what do you have for me?"

"For you, my burning hunk of man-flesh," Garcia crooned, "I have everything you could possibly need."

Derek chuckled. "Anything on our investigation?"

The sound of fingers dancing across a keyboard floated through the airwaves followed by Garcia's singsong voice, "It seems our little Ms Jareau has some very interesting viewing habits." There was a moment's silence as she scrolled through the list she'd appropriated from Blockbuster. "Is Bound the one with the two brunettes?"

"How would I know?" There was silence on Garcia's side. "Okay, so I've seen it." There was another pause. "Yes, two brunettes, one butch, one femme, and both pretty intense."

"Hmm." Garcia brought up another window. "Em's a little harder to read."

"No Bound?"

"No video membership." More tapping of keys. "But her Amazon purchases are a lot more enlightening." Garcia leant back in her seat, her latest fluffy pen rotating merrily between her fingertips as she analysed her findings. "This is perfect."

"Are you sure?"

"Did you or did you not say they were flirting the whole flight back from Texas?"

If there was one thing Derek Morgan knew even better than his job, it was flirting. "Yes."

"Then I'm sure."

"So, now what do we do?"

"Dinner and dancing?" Garcia suggested. "And the same for our two lovebirds?"

"A double date?"

Garcia ignored the doubt in his voice. "It'll give you a chance to shower me with attention."

"And how do we get JJ and Emily to come along?"

"Leave that to me."

"I thought the idea was to have Emily and JJ dance together?" Derek questioned as he shimmied in time with the music, a very appreciative Penelope Garcia suctioned to his chest. "Not dance with everybody but each other."

"Classic first date nerves." Garcia wiggled even closer. "You get Emily up for the next song, and I'll handle JJ."

"Then what?"

"Then you sweep me off my feet, leaving the two of them alone together on the dance floor."

Derek looked at the swarm of bodies surrounding them but acquiesced nevertheless. "Let's do it."

Emily was in the middle of a story about her year in Paris when Garcia dragged her companion onto the dance floor. The protest she began to form was short-lived as she, too, was suddenly whisked up in a frenzy of swaying bodies and smiling co-workers. The foursome encircled each other and shared moves that would get them arrested outside the realms of a nightclub.

Suddenly, the music changed tempo.

"May I?"

Garcia nearly swooned at Derek's sultry request before abandoning a smiling JJ to take his hand. "You most certainly may."

Derek manoeuvred Garcia to where they could observe but not be observed by the other couple. His attempt to conduct a covert operation was somewhat hampered by his dance partner's wandering hands and feathered headband. "They're dancing," he said dubiously.

Garcia looked over her shoulder towards the two women who were standing a foot apart, nervously shuffling their feet and refusing to meet each other's eye. "That's not dancing." She turned around until her back was pressed firmly into Derek's chest. "Someone needs to smoosh them together."


With a wiggle of her hips, Garcia quickly elucidated on her definition of the word. "They're usually so take charge," she lamented.

"Perhaps they just aren't that into each another." Derek was finding it hard to concentrate. "Maybe we should just butt out?"

Suddenly, the two women took a step closer, and Garcia squealed in delight. "Not into each other?" she questioned, the scepticism plain to hear. "Then, what do you call that?"

As Derek watched, Emily slid her hands lower on JJ's hips, their bodies moulded together as they slowly began to sway to the beat. It was a sight he would usually take a moment or two to enjoy, but his mind was too focused on the feel of Garcia's body, rubbing up against his own, to fully appreciate the aesthetic pleasure of JJ's wandering hands and Emily's eager reciprocation.

"Perhaps we should leave them to it?" he suggested, his breath hot against her ear. "Go find ourselves somewhere a little less crowded?"

Garcia's first impulse was to grab him by the arm and drag him to the nearest exit, but she managed to corral her instincts and instead bestowed upon him an almost disinterested smile. "I'll tell the lovebirds we're leaving and meet you outside in a minute."

"Don't be long," Derek whispered before making a hasty exit.

As Garcia stood, watching the sway and play of Derek's buns as he left, she was joined by her two friends.

"Did it work?" JJ asked.

"Like a charm." Garcia slung her arms around the couple. "You are the best!"

Emily grinned. "It was our pleasure."

JJ laughed. "It always is," she said, winking at her girlfriend, "but if it's okay with you, I'd like to get this one back home." She pulled on Emily's arm. "Derek's not the only one who's eager for some alone time."

"You go for it girl." Garcia beamed. "See you tomorrow, guys, and thank you!"

The End

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