DISCLAIMER: House and its characters are the property of FOX. No infringement intended.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: For femslash_today's Winter '08 Porn Battle, prompts "rain, testing, wishes".
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
SPOILERS: for The Itch (S5E7)

Love in the Time of Dying
By Babydykecate


Thunder growls outside Princeton-Plainsboro Hospital, but Thirteen doesn't even blink. She's too lost in the sound of the rain. Ever since she was a little girl, Thirteen had found that focusing on the steady beat of the rain could make the rest of the world disappear.

Cameron sits on the other side of the doctor's longue, studying Thirteen. After 10 minutes of watching Thirteen staying perfectly still, Cameron gives up and checks her watch. She's still got 2 hours and 20 minutes before Chase finishes his surgery and they can go home. Cameron sighs. She's not sure Thirteen actually has a reason to still be at the hospital, but it doesn't really matter. Thirteen never explains herself to anyone anyway.

"I cleaned out a drawer for Chase," Cameron blurts out into the silent room.

Thirteen blinks, then turns her head to look at Cameron.

"I never gave him a drawer at my apartment. He said he felt like I didn't want him there," Cameron continues.

"So, now he has a drawer. Lucky guy," Thirteen dismisses with a sarcastic tone, turning back to the window.

"Maybe I don't," Cameron says softly. Thirteen keeps looking out the window.

"Maybe I don't want him there," Cameron tries again, her voice louder and more certain.

Thirteen turns back to Cameron, her eyes narrowed.

"Sometimes I wonder what it would be like with someone else," Cameron confesses. Cameron looks down, focusing on scratching the last of her worn off nail polish. "Sometimes I wish I could kiss you…" Cameron says in a low voice.

"Don't," Thirteen replies harshly.

Cameron's eyes fly up to meet hers.

"I'm not some experiment for when you're bored with your boyfriend," Thirteen snaps.

Cameron stands up, her eyes flaring, but Thirteen doesn't give her a chance to respond.

"And I'm also not here to play your late husband, Cameron. You don't get play nursemaid to another dying lover, like some twisted fantasy caught on repeat. Go find some other dying girl, my life's screwed up enough," Thirteen snarls, her voice venomous.

"He was nothing like you," Cameron retorts, her eyes stinging with tears. "He faced death with honesty and bravery. You are nothing but a coward, hiding in drugs and sex. At this rate, you'll die without anyone even knowing who you really were."

Thirteen's body shakes with anger. "I wish you knew me," Thirteen's voice is hard, but it breaks at the end, as tears stream down her face.

Cameron gingerly touches Thirteen's arm, and Thirteen lets her body fall against Cameron's.

"I want to know you," Cameron whispers into Thirteen's hair. Her fingers brush away the hair mixed with tears that clings to Thirteen's face, and she presses her check against Thirteen's damp one. Her lips find their way to Thirteen's. Thirteen's lips open softly, and Cameron feels another tear fall into her check. Cameron kisses Thirteen, taking all Thirteen's vulnerability into herself. The kiss takes her breath away, and makes her forget to breathe. Nothing else exists in that moment.

And it's not an experiment. Not a test. Chase was the test. Are sex, shared circumstance, and another's desire enough to sustain a relationship? The answer was no. Wanting desperately for someone to love you is not enough to make them love you. There will never be enough Tuesdays.

Thirteen's fingers grasp at Cameron's shirt, desperate to find the reassurance of Cameron's warm skin. Cameron releases the buttons of her shirt, and pulls Thirteen's off her. Cameron gently pushes Thirteen back into the couch. Cameron's fingers fumble with Thirteen's zipper, her nerves finally interfering with her courage. Thirteen puts her hand over Cameron's and helps her with the zipper, her eyes holding Cameron's. Thirteen's eyes stay fixed on Cameron, as Cameron's fingers slide under her panties. Cameron's cold fingers brush against Thirteen's clit before sliding inside her, and Thirteen's lips part with a hushed gasp. Cameron's fingers soon match the rhythm of the rain, and Thirteen starts to relax underneath her. Thirteen's eyes stay on Cameron as she comes. Cameron lies down next to Thirteen, their bodies intertwined on the small couch. Cameron's hand finds Thirteen's, holds tight.

"I was wrong. You're not a coward at all," Cameron whispers, and Thirteen smiles back at her.

The End

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