DISCLAIMER: CSI is the property of CBS and Jerry Bruckheimer.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
THANKS: to flying_peanuts for the beta.
Matt or Ben?
"So: Ben Affleck or Matt Damon?"
Sara looked up from her report and blinked at the chorus of faces staring at her, their expressions ranging from excited to amused.
"Who do you like better, Ben Affleck or Matt Damon?" Wendy repeated.
Sara's eyes flickered back to her report, a confused look on her face. "Are they suspects?"
Catherine rolled her eyes. "Not everything revolves around a case, Sara."
"No," Sofia agreed. "In this lab it revolves around muscles." Her eye roll superseded Catherine's.
"It's not just muscles. It's eyes and charm." Wendy heaved a sigh of contentment. "That certain droolability."
Sara attempted to back out of the lab.
"So?" Catherine prodded. "Ben or Matt?"
"I bet she picks Ben," Wendy guessed, jumping up and down on her stool as if she'd been connected to a live wire. "In the films he's always straightening out the gay girls."
Catherine and Sofia did a good impression of the audience at Wimbledon, swivelling their gaze from Wendy to Sara and back again in eerie synchronisation.
Wendy appeared unaware of the astonished stares and happily shared her film knowledge. "You know, first in Chasing Amy and then in that appalling movie with Jennifer Lopez, Gigili, or something like that."
"Never saw them." Waving her folder in the air, Sara decided that a change of subject was needed. "Have you got my results?"
"Wait, are you saying that Sara's gay?" Catherine asked Wendy, totally ignoring the woman in question, who was frowning and waving a manila folder six inches from the lab tech's face.
"Oh please, as if there was ever any doubt." Wendy gave Sofia a quick once over before turning back to Catherine. "Next you'll be telling me you don't know about Sofia."
Catherine's jaw dropped. "Sofia?"
This time it was Wendy and Sara's turn to practice simultaneous eye rolling.
"Haven't you seen her swagger?" Sara's voice rose in pitch and with it her cheeks darkened. "Not that I've been watching."
Wendy snatched the folder from Sara's grasp. "And you call yourselves 'investigators'." She used the folder to point at Catherine. "You can't even tell Ellen and Portia over here are gay," she turned to wave the folder between Sara and Sofia, "and you two Mensa candidates can't even tell when you're being scoped out."
There was an uncomfortable silence as Wendy turned back to her microscope and the remaining women were left staring at the floor tiles.
"Here," Wendy shoved a pile of printouts in Sara's direction. "The DNA's a match to your second suspect."
"Thanks." Sara attempted to take the papers but Wendy kept a firm hold on her end. "What?"
Wendy nodded towards Sofia. "So?"
Wendy would have rolled her eyes but she figured that particular movement had been overdone already. "Are you gonna ask her out or not?"
"Don't talk about me like I'm not in the room." Sofia kept her eyes on Wendy and allowed her indignation to mask the real sense of dread that had been sparked by the lab tech's question.
"Shut up, Sofia, and let Sara speak," Catherine interrupted.
All eyes again turned to Sara.
"If I do, will you let me leave?" she asked Wendy and, at the other brunette's nod, she turned her attention to Sofia. "Do you want to go out sometime?"
"When?" Catherine again interrupted. "You have to be more specific than that."
"Shut up, Catherine." Sara moved slightly closer to Sofia, her voice lowered as if she were trying to create a little privacy amongst the inquisitive stares. "Do you?"
Sofia turned and, leaning closer to Sara, whispered something in her ear.
The brilliant smile that lit up Sara's face was quickly subsumed beneath a smirk as Wendy fell forward and off her stool in an attempt to overhear Sofia's words.
"What did she say?" Catherine demanded.
Ignoring Catherine completely, Sara reached down and retrieved the files from around Wendy's sprawled body, before offering Sofia her hand and walking out of the lab. A muttered 'I always preferred Matt' following in her wake.
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