DISCLAIMER: Castle and its characters are the property of ABC. No infringement intended.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
Mirror
By little_ruby
Jordan was sitting in a bar, sipping her wine and thinking about her miserable life over and over again. To all other people, she lived a wonderful life, with a husband and her daughter. But that was just show. Sure, she loved her daughter more than anything else in her life and she hated being away from her all the time, but she also loved her job and she felt that she had an obligation to catch as many murderers as possible. And so she tried to organize her life with her daughter and her job as good as possible. Most of the time it worked, she would see her to school in the morning, be there at lunch and then read her a story and kiss her goodnight in the evening. But when she had a case like this one, none of that was possible. And that is when she had to rely on her husband. Her so-called husband. Their marriage fell apart a long time ago, but they both didn't want a divorce because of their daughter. They wanted to wait until she was a bit older and could understand why they would separate.
Jordan hated this situation. When she was on a case, Simon would do all the things that she would normally do with her kid. And because she hated that, she was sitting here, trying to forget what was going on in her miserable life. But the wine didn't work as good as she thought it would, at least, she had an excuse why she didn't have to go home in the next half hour. Her kid was long gone to bed and meeting Simon wasn't a thing she wanted to do right now. Because he would see it, he knew her so well, he would see that she began to have feelings for someone. Even though he wouldn't pick that specific someone. Simon would think that she had a thing for Castle. And she had to admit that he was a damn handsome and funny man, but she had that kind of a man for long enough. No, the one she was falling for was someone else, not even a man.
"Agent Shaw, I didn't think I would meet you here."
Slightly startled, Jordan looked up to see Detective Kate Beckett sitting down on the bar stool next to her.
"Thinking of the devil." She whispered into her glass of wine, taking a sip and then turning towards the other woman.
"Beckett, what brings you here? I thought you were staying with Castle or did he get on your nerves and you had to flee?"
"Actually, yes. Being with him the whole day is hard enough, but in the evening when I wanna relax a bit? He's a nice and even sometimes helpful man, but I need some breaks from him. Even though it is perhaps ungrateful of me, you know, with him letting me stay at his apartment."
Jordan shrugged with her shoulders. "Everyone needs to be alone at one time. Even if it's in a bar full of strangers."
She had told too much. In that one statement more was revealed than in the whole time they had worked together. And Jordan knew that Kate had understood what was being said without being said, because she could feel a hand on her knee trying to comfort her. And although she didn't really want the detective to pity her, she enjoyed the touch of her hand. When she looked up, she was caught by the intense stare of Beckett's eyes. Jordan knew that she had to be careful or otherwise the other woman would soon know how she felt about her. But looking into those warm eyes made it difficult to build up her guard.
"Kate…"
Jordan couldn't speak another word, cause by then the detective had put one finger over her mouth that was soon replaced with her lips. Even though she knew how bad an idea it was that they both got involved in such way, Jordan couldn't stop kissing the other woman. No, she even brought her hand up to caress the other woman's cheek.
After what seemed like hours, their lips parted and Jordan was hit with the reality of what she just had done. Her hand covered her mouth and her eyes closed in embarrassment. She couldn't believe that she lost control that much.
"I…Kate….ehm…"
"No, Jordan, don't panic now, okay? I wanted to do this the moment you attempted to take away my case. So don't run now, got it?"
The detective took Jordan's face in her hands and forced the redhead to look at her.
"I like you, okay? And I know that you are married, but I'm a detective and I can read people very well and I know that you like me, too."
Jordan placed her hands right over Kate's and sighed. "Yes, I'm married, but just for the public, for others, for my daughter. It's not a marriage anymore, it hasn't been for over a year. And yes, I like you."
Now that the truth was out, Jordan felt much lighter than she had thought she would. She looked into Kate's eyes and what she saw caught her off guard. Admiration, desire and something that could be defined as love. And as she got even more lost in her eyes, Jordan just knew that her life would change a great deal, cause there was no way in hell that she would risk losing the ability to look into those eyes again with her own feelings being mirrored towards her.
The End