DISCLAIMER: The story, and characters and anything and everything else concerning SG: SG1 belong to MGM, Gekko, Secret Productions etc, they are so not mine and no money is being made from this and no copyright infringement is intended, absolutely none what so ever. This is just a fanfiction using the characters that were created by some wonderfully imaginative people, brought to life by some wonderfully talented actors purely for entertainment. Oh yeah another note this story depicts a relationship of a loving and sexual nature between two consenting adult women.
PAIRING: S/J {Sam/sorta F but only a bonding of hearts)
CATEGORY: Missing Scenes / angst
SPOILER: 1969.
AUTHORS NOTES: This story sprang out of the mind after a comment the character Daniel said he was 4.5 years old in 1969…considering that Miss Amanda was born in 1965 she too was 4.5 years old…
ARCHIVE: Just let me know
More Than Time
By Elizabeth Carter
Daniel and Sam had returned from the corner where they had made the phone call to Kathryn asking to meet with her. Of course Daniel and Sam had both done extensive research upon the Stargate when approached with the subject. Sam had memorized every micron of detail on the alien technology. Consequently they had enough history to back up their cover story. Of course Daniel being fluent in twenty-three languages helped. Throw in the German accent and it was a go. Kathryn was more then eager to hear of anything that dealt with the forbidden subject of the Giza project and the 'Doorway to the Stars.' Thirty years would have to wait before the correct name was given the megalithic ring.
"We have a few hours before we meet up with her, she was on her way out the door late for a meeting, and she couldn't postpone it." Daniel said. "So what do you want to do until then?"
Sam shrugged. Both the intelligent scientists knew that they had to keep damage control on their interaction with the past. Jenny came up with the answer.
"Um, well we are close to Greenwich village…we can go there, before we have to meet with your friend. I mean…" she stepped close to Sam, rubbing her arm as she did so. "We can leave you with some good memories before you have to return…um…home."
Jenny was normally shy but she had related to Sam in many ways, and liked the 'alien' female a lot. Besides she might be able to ask something of the woman who had eyes of blue-ice. She had more than once fallen into the abyss of their depths as they had traveled from Colorado.
Sam ran her thoughts over the idea of going to the Village. Kathryn didn't live too far away from the cultural-mecca of New York. But something triggered her memory. Stonewall… dressed as they were they would fit in but tolerance wasn't what it was on the 90's and that was a minimum at best for gays…and pacifists…but now in the 60's…from history…gays and hippies were targets. Not that she recalled much of the 60's after all just like Daniel she was only four years old and there wasn't much to remember for a near toddler.
"Sam…?"
The tall blonde shrugged…"Daniel we should keep contact low…"
"Samantha?" Jenny touched the arm once more bringing the blonde's attention back to herself. "Perhaps we can take you to another place…called Central Park. And you won't have to worry about interracting with others." She flashed a small smile knowing the other female appreciated logic. Yes she loved Michael very much but she was drawn to Samantha, as the moth to the flame. When they had gone shopping she had given her a token of friendship, an orange and red flower as well as a pin to go with some of the beads. Neither woman said anything about the lapris, which remand hidden in the folds of the long shirt Sam wore.
Sam nodded. It wasn't the Village, but the impact on the time line was a priority and she couldn't risk inadvertently triggering the Grandfather Paradox. And with Central Park contact would be minimal, and it was something to do for three hours before they were able to meet up with Kathryn.
It didn't take long to get to the most famous park in New York City. Children were laughing at the new Alice in Wonderland statue, as others were playing in the parks playground, young boys playing at basketball, lover's having picnics. They even seemed to have a small fair going on, or at least an impromptu jam session with musicians busking, and street magicians entertaining.
Daniel was about to wander off in the general direction with their benefactors when he saw his dear friend slowly making her way across a thick knoll grass. "Sam?" He padded up to her. "You okay?"
"Yeah." The blonde smiled. "I just remember being here when I was little."
"You were in New York but I thought you grew up in…"
"Oh um…Mama would take Mark and I here…when we visited my Aunt Roxanne." Sam interrupted. "Usually it was when my father was deployed…" Blue eyes narrowed. "Actually…I think it was about this time when we came here, the three of us. Dad was shipping out…he was in Washington…he was a Lieutenant …" she smiled just thinking of Lieutenant Carter as she had come face to face with Lieutenant Hammond. Hell it would feel good to dress her father down as a superior officer as she kind of had with the young Texan. "And he was going on his second tour in Nam…my Mom wasn't happy. So we stayed with her sister for a few weeks…school hadn't started yet…so it was cool."
"School…Sam you were four…you mean you were in school?!" Daniel stared at her agog.
Sam bit her lower lip, and smiled that breath-taking shy smile of her's. "I was put into the fifth grade."
"At four!" Daniel was still staring at her. "Okay I knew you were a genius…but ...I guess I never thought of wee-little Sam Carter being a genius. What they do base Doggie Hauser on you?"
"What?" She shrugged playfully. "You speak twenty-three languages...both your parents…were archeologists come on…if you were not in the mainstream school you did private home schooling with them until you did."
The young man relented, though he was still amazed at the captain's revelation of her intelligence. "Yeah but I wasn't in the fifth grade." He smiled…1969…Jack was going to prom with his date in a Vet and Sam was going to school in the fifth grade no less and Daniel himself was tooling around with his parents in Egypt, and Teal'c was in the service of Apophis…
Again the shy smile before the tall blonde gestured behind her. "Look, I…just want to take a look around…a retro thing…"
Daniel smirked at the tongue and cheek slip. "I'll be with Jenny and Michael listening to the buskers."
Sam looked over to where the young lovers had started an impromptu dance simply enjoying life for life's sake. "Have fun."
The blonde, blue-eyed child was bored beyond belief. Her older brother was playing basketball with some of the boys in the park and had been for the past half-an–hour. Her brother had promised to take her to the kiddy-center so she could use her new pink big wheel. Of course that was before he met up with friends. Now she was sitting on the bench swinging her feet watching.
Of course she had other ideas. She jumped on her toy her father had given her before he left for the war and started to peddle down the sidewalk leaving the courts behind. Her older brother was so locked into his fun he would never notice she was gone. There was a self-satisfactory grin upon the tiny face as she started to allow her imagine to run wild. She took her book bag and opened up the large front zipper. In it were two camp fire extinguishers and a roll of duct-tape. She had planed this for a while now, she wanted to try it out.
She had pestered her goof of a brother for a while until he complied with her idea, though of course she would have to return a favor, but his requests were always so easy it was no big deal. So she might have to do an extra chore around the house or take an extra week feeding the dog and cats. Again totally worth her prize that she now held. Kneeling down she moved the seat of the plastic tricycle way up so that she had room for the would be rockets on either side of it. She then secured them with the heavy-duty tape so that the nozzles would stick out acting as a propulsion unit.
Once she was satisfied they wouldn't fall off, she took a bit of twine and tied both of the locking pins together, so all she had to do was pull and both were yanked out at the same time. Once more she smirked with self-gratification.
"This is sooooo going to work!" She heard other children holler and yelp in their own glee. Being young she was caught up in curiosity. Peddling the tiny bike to the top of the hill she saw young boys jumping their own large dirt bikes off a ramp. She smiled as a keen idea sprang into her little mind.
"The projectory should be just about right." She mussed as she continued to watch the lads jump their bikes. They must have been at it for a while for soon they tired of their game and left. The ramp was now free and clear for the girl to use for herself.
"Ha!" She clapped her hands together. "Right-on!" She waited a moment, then aligned her plastic vehicle up with the ramp.
A few moments later the tall blonde was wondering around a thicket of trees the music was now a distant sound. There was something else that caught her eyes. At the top of a hill was a child seemingly rocketing down the embankment on a pink big-wheel, which was nothing, out-of the ordinary. What was shocking was that thee small plastic tricycle had what looked like fire extinguishers attached to the back, jet-propelling the small craft towards a wooden Macgivered launchpad.
"Holly Hanna!" Sam bolted for the child. "That kid is going to kill herself!" But she was still to far away. The plastic bike hit the ramp and the tricycle was launched into the air with a plumb of white smoke. "She is defiantly going to kill herself." Sam felt her heart drop as the bike and child were separated. The tall blonde had caught the child into her arms, saving the tyke form several hurting herself. Had she landed on the ground the little girl could have suffered severe head trauma.
The child had no idea what had happened all of her calculations had been right…she knew it…but she had lost control of it. And fell then she was caught up in the arms of a tall blonde woman.
"Holy Hanna!" Both females chorused.
They stared at one another
"I had everything under control!" The child stammered.
"You could have killed yourself!"
"Well I didn't. The launch projectory was dead on…"
"What?" Sam blinked staring at the blonde child.
Samantha rolled her deep blue eyes yet another adult who didn't 'get her'.
"I was…"
Sam smirked, " commencing with an experiment with aerodynamics and ready propulsion systems with Co2."
Blue eyes brighten with excitement. "How do you know?"
Sam bit her lip. "Because I remember doing something like that at your age."
Samantha put her tiny hands on her hips narrowed very expressive blue eyes… "Unlikely…they didn't have big-wheels when you were my age; they are new on the market this year for Christmas. Everyone knows that." The girl was a little more then condescending.
Sam felt her lips curling. "Right, but I said like I didn't say I used that sort of tricycle."
"Tricycles are for babies. That is a Big Wheel. Actually I took off the training wheels from my two wheelers a few days ago. Of course Daddy wasn't happy." She shrugged. "I don't get why…I mean he said I was too little to ride a two-wheeler when I asked him to take them off so I did it myself. Training wheels are for babies. He was still mad…even though I put the wrench back on the work bench…" The smaller version of Sam shook her head never contemplating the idea that her father felt left out that he couldn't teach his little girl how to ride a two-wheeler. Of course Sam didn't figure her father out until years latter. Her father was overwhelmed by his child's intelligence…and so Sam was always confused why her father never seemed to be happy with her achievements.
Sam tired to stop from laughing…her memory coming back in a flood. She remembered now as a child she and Mark had gone to Central Park. Her brother promised to take her on a bike-path but got caught up in a dumb game of basketball…
'God I remember being so board… I remember I finished his primary-algebra…like I always…did… and…then…wondering off…I planed to make rocket…thinking I might make it into space…I even drew plans…told Mark I needed rockets…and he got me two fire-extinguishers we ued for camping out…and falling…the wheel…it caught on a chuck of damaged wood on the ramp…and I lost my balance and fell…And I was rescued by… a tall blonde…woman…Holy Hanna!'
"My name is Samantha Carter." The child reached out her hand for the older version to shake.
Sam smiled and shook the child's hand. At that moment she felt a jolt hit her hand.
"Ohh static electricity!" Little Samantha giggled.
"Yeah a little shock." Sam said wondering if she had meant the zap that had just hit her or the fact she was facing a mirror image of herself, though thirty years younger. 'God I really have to stop meeting myself like this. Androids, Alternative me's…now little me's...If I wasn't in Stargate, I'd have to go to therapy forever.' The scientist in Sam knew that had to be apart of two halves being in such close proximity. Though it didn't feel like that when she had hugged the Alternate-Sam… 'Think Carter you both belong in this reality…though not in the same time frame…Okay…so I didn't get brain damage because...I saved myself …a self-proclaimed prophecy…um…interesting…'
"What is you're name?"
"Sam." The older blonde said before she stopped herself.
"Hey just like me!"
"Hum…" Sam smiled shyly trying to force her mind to recall what had happened when she was in reversed positions. "What are the odds of that?" She joked.
The younger Sam closed her eyes as if doing the permutations of calculating the odds in her mind.
"Forget it…its just…a rhetorical question." Sam said.
Samantha shrugged.
"Sam! Sam!" A young boy's voice called out cracking was an adult voice tried to assert itself. Then a dark-blonde teenager sprinted down the hill towards the blonde females.
"That's just my dorky-brother." Samantha said almost as if she was apologizing. "He doesn't get a lot of things." Her voice now shifted as if she was talking of a fondness for kitten or a puppy that didn't know better then to chew the furniture.
"Maybe not…but in my experience…big brothers can be…dorky…but they love their little sisters." Well that was safe…she hadn't crossed the threshold of the Time-space paradox.
Samantha crept up to Sam leaning in to the ear and cupped both tiny hands so she might whisper. "Don't tell him, but he is cool…most of the time…"
"Holy Hanna you little mouse! Mama is so going to kill me! What do you think you were doing!?" Mark bellowed grapping his baby sister in his arms.
"Well I was trying to fly." The voice of a four year old so deadpan serious was more then the adult Sam could contain she couldn't help but snicker.
"God you could have died!"
"Na ah." More seriousness. "Sam caught me."
For the first time Mark looked up to the woman who was kneeling on the ground by his sister. "Gosh sorry…I…um but thanks for saving the squirt…talk about karma…"
'Yeah no kidding'. "Glade I was here to do it." Sam said meaning every word a little startled that had she not been here to …save her younger self…the consequences could have had deadly outcome.
Mark grabbed his sister's hand… "We better go…Mama is waiting for us by the café."
Sam winced inwardly…her mother was still alive right now…
"Kay." Samantha tugged her hand away from her brother and ran to hug the tall blonde woman and hugged her tightly feeling absolutely safe. "Hey you should come and meet my mama."
"I…" Sam pale a dozen different shades of white. To see her mother again…god…
"Yeah, maybe you should." Mark looked to his sister then back to Sam. "The skirt…well…she is way too honest…and if my mom hears what happens…"
"You are so dead…right?" Sam mussed, she had always loved to see her older brother squirm…guess old habits die-hard.
"Yeah." The tawny boy nodded, his voice cracking again. He hiked up the hill and grabbed his sister's big wheel. "This is so groovy Squirt! How did you figure this out?" He looked at the now exhausted tanks duct tapped to the back of the plastic bike.
His little sister shrugged. "Well…I didn't account for the centrifugal force…but next time I will…the rest was just easy…the thruster power of the…"
"Squirt your freaking me out man! Just tell me in human words not techno-babble."
"Um…the red tanks have a lot of power…make light-weight little things go fast…like a rocket…Buck Rogers." Samantha pouted. Gods why didn't anyone just listen to her when they asked her how something worked? It was really getting her mad. But she thought when she was all grown up, they wouldn't do that to her…They would just have to listing to me because…well…I am going to be bigger…and they would not make me dumb things down…just wait…I'll show them…no one will holler out 'Squirt!' when they ask me to explain something. Well at least Mama doesn't do that.
"Oh that is so groovy." Mark ruffled his little sister's hair. He always felt like well a kid next to her, and ruffling that golden hair of her's made him fell not so childish. Of course if he pissed her off too much she wouldn't do his math or science homework for him. Plan and simple he really didn't get it, but Sam thrived on the puzzles in the book. The one thing he hated was knowing his baby sister was tons smarter then he was. And she was just a baby…of course he and his dad forgot that somethings and became stunned if she cried, or liked movies like Dumbo, or watching her play with her dolls even if they were space men. But he was sometimes put off by her vocabulary and grasp of the scientific world.
The Older Sam sucked in a bit of exasperated air. God…. it never changes. They ask you for an explanation on how something works and get their backs all ruffled when you try to explain it to them. It pissed her off to no extent when they did that. Always make you dumb things down…its is a frigging waist of energy trying to slow down the mind to make things simple when you have to constrain your thoughts to a different level…of course when I'm a colonel…they won't to do that…I mean they can't tell a Colonel to shut up…and dumb things down…just wait …no one will holler out 'Carter!' when they ask me to explain something. At least Janet doesn't do that.
Sam walked mindlessly to the small bistro that was near the park. Everything in her told her to leave to go…to run…but the urge just to see her mother alive again was too much. She had resolved not to interact, just to stay across the street. She could safely watch her mother from there…no…she promised that she absolutely not would not interact with her mother.
But Rebecca Carter stood not across the street at the bistro, but she was headed for the park and her children. Sam felt her heart race light-years and her breath catch. Then when blue eyes met with blue eyes, Sam felt the world stand still.
True to form four year old Samantha came bounding up to her mother giving her a hug and proceeded to explain what had happened in the park from the moment Mark had promised to take her to the kiddy playground and bike path to the constriction of her rocket to the failure of how it didn't work and to the point where she had seen Sam at the bottom of the hill.
"Oh Mama it was really cool! She caught me like one of those football guys when the one fourth guy throws the ball."
"Its not one fourth guy you nit!" Mark interrupted quickly "He is called a Quarterback." The sardonic tone dripped off of his tongue.
"You're the nit, doody-head! One fourth is a quarter! You'd…know that if you read your math book once in awhile!" With that Samantha promptly stuck out her tongue.
Mark…" Rebecca chastised her son who shifted nervously under the megaton glare. He blushed and coughed trying not to feel two inches tall but it was inevitable. Rebecca turned her deep blue eyes back to the child on her lap. "Sweety…has your big brother asked you to play professor again?"
"Yeah…" Samantha nodded triumphantly knowing Mark was going to get it once Mama was not in the company of her new friend. Then she had a much better idea then getting her brother grounded. After all if her brother was grounded her sport with him ended abruptly. "But only to check his work to make sure it was right."
Mark shot her an 'I know I owe you one now, but don't be so smug about it…squirt' looks.
"Is that so?" Rebecca wasn't buying it; Samantha no matter how hard the child tried to lie did not slip easily from her. In fact her eyes always so expressive betrayed her more times then not. It was not in her child's make up to be deceitful. "Well if you checked his work…I'm sure that you're brothers' ego is intact as it always is having a little-smarty like you help him."
I am so Busted. Mark groaned.
Both Sam's the four year old and the thirty four year old smirked.
Rebecca was no one's fool "In fact I'm so sure that your brother is so thankful for your aid Sam that he won't mind taking you to see Dumbo again." She pointed to the small theater a block away.
"Ah mom…that's such a…." Mark started his whining protest but there was that megaton glare again. He swallowed and took Samantha into his arms. "Yeah its such a groovy movie, come on squirt."
"I'd like popcorn."
"Fine."
"And a soda."
"Fine."
"Blue jello."
"Fine."
"And a hot dog."
"Fine…what ever. Gods you're gonna make me waste all my allowance on you."
"Well that's your job." Samantha said stubbornly
"What!"
"You're the big brother, you're supposed to know better. And you are supposed to look out for me."
"I hate it when you're a smart…" He looked over to their mom then leaned close and added with a whisper, "ass."
"Least I'm not a doody-head." Sam felt very prod of herself for coming up with that particular insult. She had heard older kids use another version of doody but being a child of four she was forbidden from using a word like ...well…shit…. she even felt like she would be punished for even thinking of that word. She cast a glance to her beautiful mother just in case she had heard her think it. But she was giving the 'death-glare' to her brother, apparently she had not heard Samantha think of the forbidden word.
"Mark." Rebecca intoned darkly. "We are not finished with our discussion about your negligence to Samantha.
Mark looked down, finding a deep fascination with his sneakers. He knew he had not only let his mother down but also his baby sister. He knew if his father were here his backside would be very red. His Mother had to attend a meeting and had asked that Mark take little Samantha to the park for a couple of hours then the rest of the afternoon was his. He only had to sit for two hours…and he blew it. Big time. He just thanked God that the tall blonde (almost familiar) lady had shown up when she did. Or they'd be in a hospital right now instead of going to the theater… hell Dumbo wasn't so dumb after all. He looked down and thought he loved to see that smile on his kid sister.
"Um…" he started to both his family members, though he would never know that he was addressing his now 'older' sister as well. "Look I really am sorry. I mean Samantha can be a pain in the as…. er…neck...but I didn't want anything to happen to her. She's just a kid you know."
Then he saw the greatest thing since becoming a big brother, the adoration of his baby sister. To his relief his mother smiled to. "All right Mark, just look out for her okay? She really dose look up to you."
'Yeah I did.' The older Sam smiled as she watched her brother pick up her tiny self and wander towards the movie theater. 'God I almost forgot how much fun I had with him before…' she gritted her teeth, and swallowed the impossible lump that caught in her throat.
Once they were gone. Sam felt her heart jump-start again when Rebecca Carter turned her attention to her. She had not expected it but her mother hugged her tightly as if clinging to life.
"Hello Sam."
"Waa…"
Rebecca pulled back and stood nose to nose with Sam, leading the now of age woman to sit upon a park bench.
"I…I…I…" Sam felt trapped she wanted to get up and run. She wanted to hug her mother and never let go. She wanted to laugh. To cry...hell she didn't know what she wanted.
She almost flinched when her mother's hand reached up and soothed away the tears as she had done a thousand times before. "Yes I know its you Sam." She smiled; it was an exacting smile that Sam had herself when she was overjoyed. "A mother always knows her child, no matter how long parted, or age. A mother always knows she need only look into her child's eyes and she knows the truth."
"Mama…" Was all Sam managed before taking her mother into a bone-crushing embrace. She barred her nose in the nook of her mother's neck within the thick blonde hair as she did as a child trying to find solace and comfort. She didn't flinch when she felt her mother rub the length of her back as she had always done when Sam had come home heart-broken or woke form a nightmare.
Rebecca held her adult child closely. The way Sam clung to her wish such desperation the 'older' Carter woman knew something had happened in Sam's past, which was yet to happen to her…something that had forced them apart.
"Sam…" Rebecca gently pushed her daughter away so that she might look into those expressive blue eyes glossy with tears. There was such pain held with in such deep angst…"Sweety…" she kissed her daughter's forehead. "I…I know what ever brought you here you can't tell me." She tried to flash a comforting smile to the pained woman before her. "I am a physicist and hold a philosophical degree…or did you for get?"
Sam felt as if her heart had been ripped from her chest. "Mom…." She felt her voice catch. Attempting to smile but she didn't feel it and it was washed away by another wave of grief.
Rebecca knew her little girl...weather four or thirty-four the spirit that burned within was tormented. Gently with a touch only a mother could have, she feathered back the arrant locks of blonde hair. "I like this style on you…kinda Air-Force-y…but I like it." She flashed a full wide smile that was so like Sam's own. "You've become a very beautiful woman…its like a sneak-preview…"
Sam felt her cheeks burn flushed by her mothers kindness, feeling ass if she had just been paid her first woman's compliment rather then a mother's unbiased opinion. "Well look who my Mama is." She managed thru a thick throat. Sam had felt her mother was always beautiful, always so smart.
Rebecca knew her child since she was only two was loath to allow her deeper emotions to control her…she tried so hard to be a little solider just like Jacob wanted her to be…Rebecca hated it…she wanted Sam to be free without walls to protect her. Now here she was…her walls down…and the girl was in turmoil. The philosopher in Rebecca knew what ever was to come it was a fate she was to embrace. The Grandfather Paradox demanded it. Sam was testing the limits as it was now cuddling up to her mother as a woman of thirty.
"Sam…I don't know why you were in this time…" she put up a long fingered hand resting on her child's soft lips. "Scientifically…. yes I think I can theorize why…high velocity gravitational travel at above lightspeed pulled in a gravitation slingshot probably around the sun…it could in theory send you back or forwards in the time space continuum…" Her blue eyes twinkled when she saw her child's eyes brighten in wonder and knew she had more then likely pinned the cause of Sam's adult self being here in her past.
Sam starred at her mother. But the astrophysicist should have not been so astounded her passion for science was given to her by the woman who held her now.
"And I must say I am surprised if this is purposeful" She almost narrowed her blue eyes into the death-megaton glare. "Considering you should know better then to tamper with time with the Grandfather Paradox and all…"
There was a flicker of denial in the stunned Sam Carter. "Accident." She whispered.
"Good. I'd be concerned if you thought of time travel as a means of legitimate pursuit. The damage you can cause is astronomical. Obviously possible, it is not worth the dangers." Rebecca stopped herself; she didn't need to tell her daughter what the girl already knew. From the desperation in her very so expressive eyes Sam knew it more then anyone could understand the effects of time-displacement. "Time arbores a paradox."
Sam swallowed hard as her heart zoomed into her throat though at the same time thundering loudly behind her rib cage. Here she was in the arms of her beloved mother who was still alive, on the abyss of fulfilling a life long dream… 'If I could just go back in time and warn her…make it so she never dies…'
Now back in time, Sam couldn't do a damn thing. 'Oh god...Mama…don't go into that cab ten years from now…Mamma …please...please don't go into that fucking cab! Wait…he'll be three hours late…but please god please just wait…don't go into that cab…god call home…Mark and I we'll find a way…. My Yamaha dirt-bike…Mark's Honda…please oh god mamma just don't get into that cab!!!!'
New tears flooded down pale cheeks. 'Mama…oh god…How!? How am I supposed to do this….I can't…I can't let you die! I can save you…Mamma...oh Mamma just tell me its okay and I'll tell you! Mama's permission you'll let me tell you…oh god…'
"Sam honey." It was a strong mother's voice. Long slender hands held up the adult-child face, strong arms wrapped around the more muscular body. "I want you to remember this…I love you so much. And I am so very, very proud of you. Not just for this…" She tapped her daughter's forehead, "but for this as well." She pressed a hand to her child's chest as if to pat her heart. "I can feel it…I know you want to do something." Rebecca Carter kissed her child's forehead. "But you can't. You can't chance the events you know that must play out. No matter what you can't alter them. Take this from my philosophical side…Sweety you can't change your history…."
Sam's only answer was the angst so apparent upon her face; she clutched her mother more tightly. 'Oh god…' She couldn't no matter how hard she tried she couldn't stop her body from shuddering as the grief thundered even as her thoughts hammered her scull relentlessly. 'God…Mamma that cab…you are going to die…Mama...you're going to die…mama...mama.'
"No Sam." Rebecca touched her child's lips with her fingers. "No sweety. You can't say anything of my future. I can't let you."
"Mama…" Sam looked up her eyes glassy with heats her expression complete despair. If her mother said she could…just this one…just this little thing…just say no cab rides ever when Sam turned fourteen…no cabs…
"No Sam." Rebecca affirmed then kissed each red puffy eye. "I know what you're thinking."
'DON'T GO INTO THAT CAB!!!!' Sam screamed in her mind. 'Read that! Don'tgointothatfuckingcab…! Mama please!'
"Shh." Rebecca rubbed Sam's back as she had done a dozen times to sooth her night terrors or broken heart because something her father had said. My little Einstein... Shh…right now we have more then time…Right now you're mama is here."
Sam lost it.
She clutched tighter, demanding that time freeze itself. She wanted time to stand still. Her blue eyes squeezed tight her heart trembling. "I love you Mama.."
"I know…" Rebecca kissed the top of the blond head. "You know there will always be days like this."
Sam found herself blurting out a bubble of laughter as she rubbed her eyes, swollen from the tears. She had quoted her mother the time Hathor had taken over the base and more then one occasion had said it privately to herself.
Once more, Rebecca brushed away the tears. "So tell me this…" the pad of her thumb traced over the lapris pin. "Does she make you happy?"
Sam blinked for a moment lost in the question.
"Are you happy with her?"
Sam looked at what her mother was fidgeting with and it occurred to her the pin that was a symbol for all lesbians, the double-headed ax of the Amazon nation. She forgot Jenny had put it there. "Very happy."
"Good." Rebecca smiled. "I hope she is at least near your intellectual footing. That she has the warmth and welcoming heart, and the fiery spirit to stand with and face you one on one and tell you are a fool when you need to hear it and tell you are wonderful at the same time. I hope you two share a boundless full love."
Sam swallowed hard. "She is my everything."
Rebecca smiled brightly and seemed to sit ten feet taller. "True happiness and true love are very hard to come by. When you find it hang on to it. You know it is a wish that all mothers have for their children that they find a love that completes them. And don't you dare settle for less."
"You're not ashamed or disappointed?"
"Sam…I'd be disappointed if you allowed yourself to be come involved with someone who isn't worthy of you regardless of gender. I don't care what gender you found your love in…only that you are complete by it." She smirked. "Besides…I am an adult in the sixties…I am a little more liberated then your father. Just know that I love you." She hugged her daughter close. "And don't worry you didn't tell me anything then a daydream…that you're happily in love." She took the pin from her daughter's shirt. "One day I will give this back to you."
Sam shivered catching her breath. ' No mama you never gave it back to me…you never had the chance…mama I miss you so much…can't I brake the rules! Please just tell me I can… Tell me! Mama…how can I allow you to die!? Tell Me…I miss you...I miss you so much…!'
"Can we talk about something else?" Sam muttered not wanting to think…that she was not stopping her mother's death.
Rebecca resumed her back-rub then all of a sudden she biffed the back of Sam's head with reserved genteelness. This got the other blonde to remain absolutely still. "And that my little dare-devil is for all the up-coming premature gray hairs I know YOU will give me." The wide smile that both Carter women held flashed brightly. "Gods Sam…a rocket ship out of fire-extinguishers and your big-wheel! Three months ago using your favorite blanket you leapt off the roof because it was a parachute. And your blanket for some divine reason would have the powers to protect you! God it was good that George and your father were there to catch you. You scare the hell out of me sometimes…"
Sam shrugged she was trying her best to look oh so innocent. "I'm a daughter of a very brilliant scientist and an Air Force officer, what can I say?"
"Humm" Rebecca was unconvinced or at least she tried to look stern, but her lips betrayed her and found a smile. "If that is the case, then I hope you have a kid who is just like you."
Well Sam was doomed. She maybe agnostic but the one thing she knew for certain was the absolute truism of the universal mother's curse. They always came true. She was so busted.
"Hey Sam!" Daniel's voce cut across the meadow waving his arm trying to gain her attention. "Sam!"
"A college." Sam turned giving a minimal explanation to her mother. She shivered realized what the archeologist's presence meant.
"Time to go."
Time….
"Sam…"Rebecca whispered softly. "You know you have to go."
"Mama…I…" a new flood of tears fell.
Ever so gently Rebecca lifted the rose colored sunglasses and put them on to her daughter's eloquent face. "You never liked anyone seeing you cry, even as a little four year old."
Daniel watched the tender scene being played out. He felt it odd that all of Sam's bravado about not interacting with others of the timeline she was being cradled by a most remarkable beautiful tall blonde blue eyed woman. Then he felt as if he had been hit by a Zat-gun… "Oh god that is her mother." He said allowed to no one.
"I…I…have to go…" Sam murmured.
"I know sweety."
"I love you Mamma…"
"I love you too my little Einstein…my Sam…"
Daniel was very reluctant to break the boding of two hearts, but time was ever fleeting and they had to meet with Katherine. He watched as the two blondes rose and started to walk towards him.
"You better be off."
Sam only nodded, her body shivering, tears falling. 'Mama…' her jaw ground sharp, her eyes blinked tightly once as she tried desperately to regain her composure. "Mama…"
"You know you can't Sam." Rebecca pulled her adult daughter into her arms. "Never forget that I love you." She knew she would have to be the one to leave first. Sam was immovable.
Daniel looked at his shoes. Yep-nice pair of rugged leather boots. All scuffed up...humm dandelion tuffs, you know if you blow on the spores and make a wish it is supposed to come true. "Sam...I'm sorry but we have to go."
"I know." Sam said in .a muted whisper so soft Daniel wasn't sure if it was the breeze tickling the tree branches or if Sam had spoken. "Good-by Mama…" Sam uttered in that same soft voice. "I love you."
"I love you too. Sam…remember…you're very brave." Rebecca kissed her adult daughter on the forehead and smiled.
Daniel watched as Sam pulled away from her mother then started waking quickly away. He tried to flash a smile at the other Carter woman. As she wiped away defiant tears she only now allowed herself to shed… 'I am going to die…and she knows when…oh baby… I promise you…I will make the time we have…the most… To hold eternity in the grain of sand…sweety I know…I know you wanted to tell me…but you can't…never forget your Mama loves you forever and always…You're very brave.
Time: the pendulum swings
Sam sat sullenly during the interview with Kathryn. She had said nothing. She offered a cold polite smile, and nothing more, ever grateful for the rose colored glasses that hid her red puffy eyes. Nor did she say much when they returned to the gaudy bus to pick up O'Neill and Teal'c.
It was only during her turn to drive that she even spoke up more then to answer Jack's questions about the solar flare. She had pulled deep within herself almost completely. But when she heard of Michael's fear about his draft papers coming in and O'Neill starting to explain, it was then she lost her reserve, she had snapped. By god if she couldn't tell her mother about the cab there was no way in hell that that man would know about Vietnam it what was his future. There was no fucking way.
"Sir! You can say anything." Short, abrupt and to the point. Her voice was crisp and hard and a direct order issued not to be denied.
O'Neill shut up immediately. He was not about to disobey a direct order even if it came from his 2IC; she was after all the expert. Pissing off the five foot nine bombshell of a scientist was not a good idea.
The pendulum swung the other way:
The only time she seemed to smile was when she had approached the sixty plus Cassandra. A mother always knows her child, no matter how long parted, or age. A mother always knows she need only look into her child's eyes and she knows the truth. And indeed she did know it was Cassandra, and all she had to do was to look into the soulful brown eyes.
The pendulum swung back
It had indeed been a very long briefing. Sam had smiled and completely told what she had known leaving out the encounter with her mother. Though Hammond had stepped up to her as they were filing out of the briefing room. He had known the tall blonde since she was born. He was close friends with Jacob and Rebecca Carter and had seen Sam growing up. He chuckled as he recalled a very vivid memory of a young Sam running off the roof with her blanket believing it was a parachute as told her father she was ready to go to the Academy. George had caught the little tike scaling a ladder to roof and went after her, but he wasn't fast enough to catch her when she jumped thankfully Jacob was below and caught hold of her. Rebecca was beside herself; she both punished and held Sam that day. Now he looked to the blonde girl…. no longer a girl…but a very bright and beautiful woman. And knew her to know she was hurting inside. And Because of Daniels' private report, for his concern over her, he knew why. Sam had run into her mother…and it had to tear her apart to keep her mother's death secrete, he didn't know if he would have had that strength.
"Sam…" He addressed her using her name rather then rank tipping her this was an off the records talk. "Daniel told me what happened…what went on in Central Park."
Sam clenched her jaw, her walls up in full force; she stood more ridged, then a cadet in inspection. "Sir." She bit out quickly.
"Sam…if you want to talk…"
"No sir…I mean thank you sir." She took in a deep breath steadying herself. "I'd rather not sir." Praying that he wouldn't order her to talk about what had happened.
"Sam…maybe you should confide in…Doctor Fraiser I know the two of you are close…with raising Cassandra and all…and that you two share a sisterhood…it might help to talk to her…"
"Yes sir. Thank you sir." Ridge. Perfect military protocol, that no CO could find fault in. It was the perfect shield to hide behind. "Is that all sir?"
Hammond nodded. She had been like this when her mother died. Cold and ridged and so removed. He couldn't help but worry over his life long friend's little girl. But Sam Carter was a warrior and she was a Carter, she would not be beaten even by her own heart.
Sam managed to make it to her quarters before the tears started to fall. She wiped then away angrily as she went to her desk and pulled out an old faded photograph of her mother and her, when Sam was fourteen. It was the very last photo that was taken of them together. Allowing the tears to fall Sam lay on her bed gazing at the woman she had lost…again. She lay on her stomach for what felt like eternity, simply crying.
There was a knock on the door and it opened. "Look I don't want company right now." She snapped without looking at who it was who had entered the room.
"Sam…baby…?"
Sam turned over on to her back and saw Janet hesitantly hovering near her.
"Jan…" Sam muttered.
In one swift movement Janet was holding her beloved in her arms, allowing for the taller woman to mourn her loss. Sam lay with her head pillowed on Janet's lap clutching her for dear life. Janet remained quite. When Sam was ready to talk she would, no one could force it from her not even her beloved. Janet simply held her beloved tightly until Sam drifted into a tear-induced sleep.
The End