DISCLAIMER: The Bill and its characters are the property of ITV, no infringement intended.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This is most blatantly the way that episode should have gone, the script writers just needed an excuse to be mean to Amber [aww...] and let Will make his mark as a keen action man type copper [yawn] so I decided to write my own version. A better version, if you will... Only kidding, the scriptwriters are gods, and I am a lowly worm who owns nothing. Not Jo, not Sam, not TB, not Amber, not even the random criminal whose name escapes me. Although he probably couldn't, if Will could catch him ;P Oh, and for the story to work, Jo must be 'available' i.e. has broken up with, forgotten about, repeatedly run over Tess. [Only kidding, Tess is pretty cool, just, y'know, not with Jo] But since we've not actually seen her since that Stonewall Prison thing, I think it's fair to say she just fell off the face of the planet and got forgotten about.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
Criminal: [to Sam] I'm sure I've seen you somewhere before, I never forget a face...
Jo: Probably on CrimeWatch. Wanted! [Forced laugh]
Sam: Could you show the gentleman through please Amber?
Amber: Certainly... [Chokes, then recovers]
Amber: [to criminal] If you could just follow me...
[Amber and Criminal Exit]
Jo cocks her head to watch the criminal blindly follow Amber to his imminent arrest, her insipid smile widening into a grin as she turns back to Sam, eyes glinting mischievously.
"Another one down, eh?" Noticing the strange look on Sam's face, Jo became concerned. It had been a long day, and Sam was normally like a little energizer bunny, but now she seemed somewhat subdued.
"Are you alright Sarge?" she asked, now that there were no more 'contestants' who might overhear. Sam moved a little closer.
"What did you mean by that, just now?" she asked. Assuming Sam was referring to her banter with the 'contestant' moments earlier, Jo was nonplussed; it was just nonsense, so she bought herself some time by feigning difficulty with removing her headset. Just as she decided to deny whatever Sam might suggest, and remove the headset, it became tightly tangled in her hair, and simply would not budge. Seeing Jo's predicament, Sam stepped in to help.
"What's the matter DC Masters, I thought you had eyes in the back of your head" she teased. Gently working the headset free, nimble fingers unravelled the knot of hair, before stroking it back into place, tucked neatly behind Jo's ear. Shivering at Sam's delicate touch, Jo was a little surprised when she felt herself being turned around, to look straight at Sam who was now no more than a foot away.
"Wanted, am I?" smouldered Sam, her gravely voice smoky in the quiet between them. When a stunned Jo failed to reply, Sam pressed the issue, seeing Jo's agreement in her over-large pupils.
"On your list eh?"
Finally managing to scrape together enough mental focus, after all, Sam was coming on to her? ...Anyway, collecting herself sufficiently to formulate some form of coherent and *please God* vaguely witty reply, Jo managed to murmur,
"Shopping list, card list, hit list....any particular type of list?"
"How about Christmas list?" Sam whispered, inching ever so slightly closer. Deciding to see how Sam liked having the tables turned when she most definitely didn't expect it, Jo stepped back from Sam, taking her jacket off. Watching Sam watch her, Jo smiled.
"Is it me, or is it getting really hot in here?"
Amused as Sam tore her focus back to her face, Jo continued "Anyway, I'm not likely to get anything on my Christmas list this year..." stepping back up to Sam she continued, "Santa only delivers presents to good little girls." At this, Sam gulped, eyes widening, before taking up the unspoken challenge,
"And let me guess...You've been a bad girl this year, have you?" Raising an eyebrow knowingly, Jo smirked.
"Oh yes, I've been ever so naughty... positively indecent!" Leaning in towards Sam, her lips hovering next to Sam's ear, Jo whispered,
"And what might be coming to you this Christmas, from dear old Santa Claus?" Shutting her eyes, Sam felt her knees begin to buckle, this woman so close to her, and toying with her like this was almost more than Sam could bear.
"Well who says that I've been a good girl this year either?" Sam responded, barely deflecting what would have been a direct hit on her emotions.
"Well you have though, haven't you" Jo replied, knowing the other woman well enough to tell when she was bluffing.
Still only inches apart, both women started when they heard approaching footsteps. Taking a step back, moving behind Jo, Sam took her hand lightly, almost as if leading Jo astray,
"But there's still time to more than make up for that." Held by the promise in the words, Jo barely noticed as Inspector Gold came to debrief them, entranced as she was by the sultry glances Sam was giving her.
Realising that neither woman was really paying attention to her, Gina Gold put it down to the stress of the day, and dismissed them, saying,
"Good work today, we got a great result, now go 'ome, both of ya"
As the two officers walked towards their cars Gina went back inside to find her darlin' Smiffy. As soon as the inspector was out of earshot, Jo crept up behind Sam and goosed her. Shrieking indignantly, Sam whirled around into Jo's waiting arms, effectively pinning herself against the car.
"So..." Jo breathed, "Your place or mine?"
Return to Miscellaneous Fiction
Return to Main Page