DISCLAIMER: Law & Order: Special Victims Unit and all characters are
property of NBC and Dick Wolf. I own NOTHING! I just mess around with characters for a while.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hey you guys! How about that presidential election? (much sarcasm in that sentence) Anyway, just thought I'd say I am sorry for not updating sooner. Been busy, and my emotions have been in a twist what with a girl who just won't stop teasing me. Anybody been through that? Well after all that, one with my story...
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
Music of a Relationship
By Teresa R.
Alex began to get ready after mindless hours in front of the T.V. Occasionally she got up to get a glass of water or a snack and go to the bathroom but other than that, it was the T.V. She jumped into the shower at five thirty, making sure to be extra clean since this was their first date.
"Mom this is just a date, not a damn wedding rehearsal."
"Your language is unacceptable and you're acting like a damn twelve year old."
Olivia sighed and thought, 'And I thought my language was unacceptable.', as her mother threw out another one of her shirts onto the bed where she sat. She had been there on her bed next to her pile of clothes for at least thirty minutes while her mother criticized everything.
"This doesn't bring out your complexion .Don't you own anything other than blue, black, and gray? Oh, the occasional pastel colored shirt, I didn't know they still made these....Oh, I see you haven't outgrown your love for blue jeans ."
And the list went on.
Alex finished her shower at around six. She walked into her bedroom and straight to her closet. She fished around for a while settling on a long sleeved red shirt and a pair of her favorite blue jeans. They agreed on a relaxed casual attire something other then the everyday clothes they were used to seeing each other in.
She mingled around her bedroom searching for her brush, brushing out her hair before she proceeded to get dressed. Her main concern now was whether or not this date would actually happen considering Olivia's job.
Olivia stood in the bathroom all dressed and ready to go pick up Alex as they had agreed to. She stood in front of the mirror thinking about tonight. She wanted everything to be perfect. This would be her first date in a long time and it was with Alex, it needed to be perfect for her to consider it a success because it was with Alex.
A knock at the door interrupted her train of thought.
"Nic stop standing in front of that mirror, you should be standing and staring at Alex not yourself so come on and get out here."
Olivia smiled and shook her head. Her mom always knew what to say to make everything better. She opened the door stopping dead in her tracks when her mother stood there in front of her. Staring, appraising, thinking of a smart remark to and say, putting down something so they could get out a laugh before this date.
"If I weren't your mother, I'd date you myself."
Olivia's eyes widened and her jawed dropped to the floor. A look of disgust mixing in with humor uprooted onto her face.
"Either I should say thanks and ditto, or I should run out of here screaming with horror."
Her mother smiled and took a quick glance at her watch.
"You better get going before your date thinks you stood her up."
"Yeah, I don't want that." she walked toward her living room and grabbed her leather jacket from the couch, grabbed her keys and headed toward the door. As if hit by an epiphany, she turned and looked at her mother.
"And when, or rather if, you come by tomorrow morning, since I think you plan on staying here till I get back, don't let the first question be 'Did you screw it up or did you screw her?' please."
Her mother smiled with a gleam in her eye. The first time Olivia went on a date with Amy, Olivia didn't go back to her dorm she stayed at Amy's. Her mom bugged her to death asking if she'd slept with her since she didn't go back to her dorm that same night. Of course, her mother wasn't right. Yeah, they slept together alright, literally not figuratively; they fell asleep talking cuddled up in Amy's bed.
"Okay, I'll find another way to rephrase it."
"Mom ." Olivia testily said.
"Okay fine," her mother said with defeat, "I won't ask you any incriminating question about your sex life."
"Thanks, mom." she said as she opened the door, "Wish me luck?"
"Good luck, and one of these days I would like to meet her." Serena Benson yelled at a closing door receiving no response. "And to see how cute my grandkids would turn out, although how that will occur is still a little I .I'll figure it out later." She said to herself.
Olivia heard her mother's first remark but decided not to answer and if she heard the second one she probably would've screamed in exasperation, she didn't know how far 'this' would get with Alex. All she wanted to do was take one step at a time. She walked down the stairs to the carport where her car was. She got in and took a deep breath before turning the key in the ignition, driving on to get Alex and start the date.
Alex stood in front of her bathroom mirror slipping in her last contact, after that she put on her mascara. She finished and took a step back taking a moment to appraise herself.
"This is going to be a good night. It has to be or let a hole open up beneath this complex and have it swallow it all." Alex reasoned aloud.
She was nervous, she had to admit, it was her first date in awhile after all too. She couldn't be more happy when she heard a buzz from her intercom next to the door. Upon hearing it, she rushed out of the bathroom throwing herself against the button to answer the buzz.
"Liv?" she question the buzz.
"Yeah it's me." came the shy and nervous response.
"Come on up, I'm not done yet." she lied, she just wanted to have the premise to say that she had Olivia at her door, coming to pick her up.
~I should go up now right? Of course I should, she invited me up so I should go up. And besides, standing out here is pointless.~
Olivia opened the door that kept her at bay the last time she was here. A good memory crept into her mind when she realized that her first kiss with Alex wasn't too long ago, it was right were she stood with the door open.
She walked to the elevator and pressed the floor button glowing with the number 3 once inside the moveable cubicle with doors. As it started to move she began to toy with the stem of the carnation she brought for Alex.
~Stop! This flower isn't going to last the way you're messing with it.~
As the elevator came to a stop and as she walked toward Alex's door she noticed another person in the hall with her.
A small frail woman with bags in her hands walked slightly in front of her. Olivia thought nothing of it as she politely excused herself as she passed and proceeded to Alex's door, which wasn't that far once she passed the little old woman in the hallway with her. She reached her door, just staring at the golden brass plated markings of 3-B. With her peripheral vision she saw the woman with the arm load of bags pass her to the door right next to Alex's.
She knocked on Alex's door awaiting the opening of it.
Inside Alex's apartment:
Alex heard the knock from her bedroom. She casually walked to the door, taking her time, teasing Olivia without her even knowing it.
Outside Alex's apartment:
She had just knocked, now all she had to do was wait.
"Excuse me Ms .?" a voice called off to the right of her.
Olivia turned and saw the little old woman struggling with her bags. The fragile woman need not say another word, because Olivia rushed to her aid taking two of the three bags the woman had. She smiled and Olivia waited as the woman stuck her key into her door opening it. Once it was open the woman went through leaving the door open for Olivia to enter as well.
"You know, you should be careful about who you ask to help you. This is New York after all." Olivia said as she shut the door with her foot and followed the old lady, she set down the bags she carried on the kitchen table, flower still in hand.
Alex reached the door and opened it no one there. She stepped outside just as she heard Mrs. Agalabla's door shut.
*Hmmm I must be anxious I'm beginning to hear things.*
She shut the door and retreated to the couch to wait for Olivia to pick her up. As she sat down she glanced at the clock next to the front door 7:03.
*Three minutes doesn't constitute as late. She'll be here any moment now, she would call if something came up. Right? Right.*
Mrs. Agalabla's apartment:
"Child believe me when I say, I know who and who not to trust. It's like a sixth sense I guess you would call it."
"Instincts have sometimes been known to be wrong." Olivia inquired.
Mrs. Agalabla took in the woman in front of her. 'Hmm dark hair, brown eyes, tall and slightly dark this must be Olivia.'
"Well I guess my instincts are right about you Detective."
Olivia smiled as she noticed that the woman was right about her but she instantly snapped out of that mindset when she heard the word 'detective'.
"How did you know I'm a cop? You just met me."
Mrs. Agalabla smiled and said, "I think you better be going, someone is going to be eager to see you."
Before Olivia knew it she was being forced out of the door into the hallway. The door shut behind her and she turned and looked at it inquisitively. Finding no explanation for her encounter just encountered she walked back up to Alex's door and knocked.
Alex still sat on the couch waiting for a knock at her door. Then she heard it a knock. She waited for a while waiting for another, just to make sure she wasn't hearing things.
KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK
Nope, definitely not fake.
She got up and walked to her door opening it with much gusto, thinking that if she opened it fast that she wouldn't be imagining for hearing things, she nearly lost grip of the door as she swung it open.
The doorframe entry:
"Hey, I thought we're going to have to reschedule."
"No, not this time."
"I um brought this for you." Olivia said as she put forth the flower in display.
"Thank you very thoughtful." Alex said making a shade of red bloom on Olivia's face as she took it and placed it on the small table next to her door and grabbing her house keys in exchange.
"Shall we?" Olivia questioned with her right hand extended in invitation.
"We shall, most definitely." Alex said taking the proffered hand and stepping into the hallway shutting the door behind her.
The little diner Alex insisted upon was an odd choice for the well brought up ADA in Olivia's mind. Of course showing up at a five star restaurant in jeans and nice sweaters wouldn't be entirely appropriate either. There waitress took their orders, brought them their drinks and left them to a conversation. A conversation that would and could possibly determine whether or not this, what ever it was between them, should continue or should be dropped. Both secretly wished that it would continue.
After an initial silence, Alex began the conversation.
"You know earlier, before you knocked, I thought I really did hear a knock, and when I went to answer it, no one was there."
Olivia smiled, she knew it was her that knocked, but since Alex's neighbor was in dire need of assistance from New York's finest, she could do nothing but smile at the recollection.
"Well I did knock earlier," Olivia started but was cut off by Alex.
"Did you get first date jitters enough to play ding-dong ditch? Or to be more technical, knock-knock ditch."
They laughed at the thought of it.
"Well no, I could of but I grew out of that phase after I graduated from college." they both smiled at each other as Olivia continued. "I knocked but your neighbor was needing some help with her grocery bags and I went over to help her. Sorry I left you hanging."
"No need to be sorry I can cancel that appointment to check for hearing loss now."
"I'm sorry, what?" Olivia teased, giggling.
Alex swatted her on the arm as the waitress came with their food. As they ate in silence, Olivia wanted to know more about the blonde ADA in front of her.
"So what do your parents do for a living?"
"Well, my father is a stock broker, and my mom came from a family of money big and old money I guess you can say. What about you?"
"My mom worked as a waitress here and there, convenient store clerk, odd jobs you know."
~I should have never asked that question. Please don't ask about hi ~
"And your dad?"
Olivia faltered and her demeanor fell a bit, Alex noticed and guessed that her father was abusive or a raging alcoholic in her mind.
"I uh I uh actually never met my father."
*Oh I wonder why?*
Olivia began to mess with her napkin sitting next to her plate.
"Bad subject I take it?"
Olivia looked up, stared at Alex with fake sincere and answered, "Oh, no, it just that I never met him and it was kind of hard not having a dad while growing up."
She lied of course it was a bad subject she was a child of rape, her father is her mother's rapist, how could it not be a bad subject?
Alex saw the discomfort in her eyes and decided to steer their path of conversation to other things. Particularly similar interests the women each had with each other. The conversation continued through most of their plates consisting of chicken fried steak, learning that they were total opposites in high school. Besides the fact the Alex went to a private school, they still would have been complete opposites, and would have never even known that the other existed.
"So did you go to your prom, I mean you say you were a total outcast."
"Yes, I went to my prom albeit, with a group of friends, but I went to prom. What about you Alex?"
"Well besides the fact that I couldn't have the perfect date to go to prom with, I went anyway. Solo but I went. Met up with some friends there."
"And you're 'perfect' date would have been what?" Olivia asked putting quotations around 'perfect'.
"Taking the star lacrosse player long brown hair, green eyes, tall "
"Alex stop drooling over a past fantasy and get to the name." Olivia joked handing Alex a napkin.
"Not funny." Alex said as she swatted Olivia's hand with the napkin away. "Her name was Stacy Hysinger."
"So I take it she sung very high?"
"Oh yeah, let me tell you." Alex gave a very sarcastic reply nodding her head in an equally sarcastic way. "Tell me about your high school crush."
Olivia shied away from Alex's gaze. "Well she was kind of tall but not, red hair, brown eyes, my best friend." Olivia smiled thoughtfully at the memory as she looked up at to see Alex's reaction.
A remorseful look came upon Olivia's face before she answered.
"She got hit by a drunk driver on her way home after a graduation party for one of our friends."
"What happened to her?" Alex asked feeling bad about bringing up a seemingly painful memory.
"She didn't die if that's what you mean," Olivia smiled at Alex, "she was one of the lucky ones and got away few injuries. I just wish it didn't happen after our first kiss."
A smile graced Alex's face as she let out a small laugh then abruptly stopping because it was a bad occurrence that happened in Olivia's life. Olivia wanted to say more but thought it would be too much to reveal about her past on the first date. Instead Olivia looked at her watch, 8:57. Alex, upon seeing Olivia looked at her watch, she too looked at hers. Olivia looked and saw Alex still looking at her watch.
"Shall we go?"
Alex picked up her head to look at Olivia. Nodding her answer, she moved to her purse. Olivia saw her opening it up to take out her billfold when she made a move to stop her. Putting her hand over Alex's slowly emerging one from the depths of her purse she said,
"I got it." with a smile.
"No, I got it."
"But I asked you out."
"True, but this isn't like something serious."
Confused by that answer Olivia asked, "What does that mean?"
Alex baited her, she liked Olivia a lot, and she wanted a relationship with her, she really did, but if it was one-sided, why bother?
"Well I mean, why bother going out to dinner on Valentines Day if this isn't going to become a 'thing'?"
Olivia took time to process what Alex just said. 'Why bother', why bother with what? 'Thing', what does she mean by thing? She took in all she said it just puzzled her that Alex would answer in such a riddle like form. Not that she minded riddles, but when it dealt with a 'maybe' and 'maybe not' relationship, there is not time for such riddles. Such blasphemous word games, just say what you wanted to say, it was always better than skirting around the edges. But to Olivia, talk is cheap, actions are words.
"Let me do something real quick and maybe that will answer your question, okay?"
"Okay." Alex answered slowly, looking at her with fearful eyes.
*So I guess kissing her was a bad thing? And all that we had was something she had grown accustom to because we work together on cases unlike any other? Nothing ever seems to go my way.*
Olivia saw Alex's tension, but proceeded to go with her way that displayed what she means. She took out her wallet from the back pocket of her pants and pulled out two twenties, laying them on the table with the bill. She saw Alex wanting to protest but she was a step ahead of the ADA. She took her by the hand, grabbing both of their jackets and led her out into crisp night air, of that February. Taking a second to put on her jacket, after handing Alex hers, she took a still very stunned ADA by the arm and led her in the direction of a park the park where they first laid eyes on each other.
"Um what what are we doing here?"
"I'm giving you your answer." Olivia stated.
"And what would that be?"
"That maybe no yeah, maybe just maybe if we can, this," she motioned back and forth between her and Alex, "can work out. Because I really, really like you and if I'm right, you do too."
"Yeah, I do." Alex said notably relieved at the answer.
"Good." Olivia smiled, "Now what now? Because I obviously don't have a road map to this new thing."
Alex smiled. This new thing was new to her as well, she didn't know what to do next but a smile on her face formed when she thought about 'what to do next?'
"How about you and I go back to my place, sit on the couch and have something to drink?"
"Works for me. Lead the way." She held out an arm to signal she will follow her and right about now, just about anywhere.
"Marshmallows or whipped cream?" Alex asked holding up an example of each in the air.
Olivia giggled a little before replying, "I could say something really dirty to that but I think I'll opt for the marshmallows."
Alex smirked at her then threw the package of marshmallows at her in reply. She put away the whipped cream before she took a seat with Olivia at the table. The pink carnation Olivia brought for Alex stood in a vase Alex had put it in upon returning from the park.
"You know, I'm glad I left my car here and we decided to take a cab to the diner." Olivia inputted.
"Well what were we planning on receiving while here Detective?" Alex smiled slyly.
"Double entendre, very smooth Counselor." Olivia mimicked Alex's sly smile leaning back in her chair and continued, "And I planned on receiving an enlightenment on another's life and maybe a romp in the hay." She added quickly at the end as she took a sip from her mug.
Alex laughed a bit before answering in a seductive yet playful voice, "And what is you want to know about me?" she asked while putting her face in her left palm and her right hand clasping her left elbow.
Still sitting back in her chair, Olivia considered her options truthfully she wanted nothing more than to know Alex. Every single detail of her life, how and what events made her into the woman she is now, and finally, she wanted to know every inch of her body. Every curve, every scar, freckle, indention, everything.
"Everything." a simple, short answer that expressed a multitude of meaning.
Alex sat, staring at Olivia, not even moving a muscle when she heard an answer. She wanted to know everything too every good thing and every bad thing. She wanted more than anything to know Olivia better than her own mother, knowing well that that wasn't already possible. Instead of answering back, Alex got up out of her chair and walked toward her living room, leaving a detective at her table.
"Are you coming?" Alex asked over her shoulder at Olivia before passing the archway between her kitchen and living room.
Olivia didn't answer, she got up in the same manner Alex had and followed Alex to the couch. Alex was sitting on the right side of the couch, her back caddy cornered against the armrest and her legs angled off over the edge of the couch cushions. Olivia didn't think for a second, she walked over to the couch mimicked Alex's position, only on the left side. Alex saw this and once Olivia was settled into a comfortable position she scooted over and nestled herself between Olivia's legs, resting her back against her chest. Olivia accommodated herself for the pleasant intrusion, leaving her right leg on the couch and letting her left leg bend at the knee to hang over the edge. Once Alex settled, Olivia wrapped her arms around Alex's waist and rested her chin on the left shoulder of Alex. Alex rested one hand on Olivia's leg hanging over the edge, and the other over the hands holding her around her waist. They stayed in a comfortable silence before Alex lifted an arm behind Olivia onto the table next to the couch. Upon retracting her arm, her hand garnered a black slender object. A remote. She pushed the power button and turned on the t.v.
"I hope you don't mind." the blonde stated.
The two sat in silence and watched a rerun of 'The King of Queens', laughing when a they said something funny and then watched the news afterward. As the late shows began Olivia figured it was time to go.
"I should go."
Alex tensed immediately. An unsettling fear grew inside of Alex had she done something wrong? Did she come across as too overbearing, too too too something that was enough to drive Olivia off? Olivia felt how Alex tensed at the mention of her leaving, she decided to clarify why she needed to leave.
"Don't worry, it was nothing about you, I think I should go home so I can surprise my mom." Olivia said craning her neck to the side to try and look at Alex in the eyes.
Alex sat up breaking a strong, safe embrace to look over her shoulder at Olivia. "Your mom? She lives with you?" she asked in surprise.
Olivia smiled, "No I guess it's sort of a joke between me and her I'll tell you sometime. Well not really a joke, more of a well I can't find a word for it but when I tell you I think you'll get it."
Alex seemed to accept that answer, she physically relaxed and laid back against Olivia again, returning to the strong, safe embrace of her girlfriend?...yeah, girlfriend's arms around her.
"You know I can't leave and surprise my mom with you lying against me right?"
"Yeah, I like being here; with you it makes me feel safe, and warm, and loved."
Did she hear right? Loved? What does it mean? Yeah, she felt loved too, knowing that she could hold someone, feel completely comfortable, she felt like she was in a relationship for months. But it hasn't been months, it'd only been, well not even one date.
~Life's a big chance, make the little chances count.~ she thought, it was a saying her mother said, one she always said since Olivia could remember. She would say it at the oddest times, but Olivia summed it up to mean one thing in her mind, 'I gave birth to a reminder of my worst nightmare, I could've stopped it, but instead I took a chance that was for the best.'
"I know this seems like a very childish question but I don't want to assume and make an ass out of you and me, so I was wondering, are you like well my girlfriend?"
*Am I? I like the sound of that 'Olivia's girlfriend'...it has a nice ring. Now I'm acting childish.* Alex laughed out loud as she created the thoughts in her head. But what she didn't realize was that she was creating a suspenseful feeling within her counterpart.
~Damnit!! It's always too good to be true!~
"Yeah, I would love to be your girlfriend."
~God, my life is a toilet and I'm the shit in it! Fuck, I mean she said like just like five seconds ago that she 'would love to be my girlfriend' What?!~
Alex laughed again, "Yes I would love to be your girlfriend."
*Hell yeah I would!*
"Cool." Olivia answered coolly.
"Should you go and surprise your mom now?"
"What?" she asked for what seemed like the hundredth time in that five minutes.
"Your mom didn't you have to go surprise her or something?"
It suddenly clicked with Olivia, she needed to go home and tell her mom she didn't screw it up, and she didn't screw her just yet. But one day instead of saying to her mom that she 'screwed her' Olivia wanted it to be 'made love to and with her'.
Alex got up from her lying position to allow Olivia the room necessary to get up as well. As Alex got up she crossed her arms and watched as Olivia moved about the room as if she lived there with Alex. She got her jacket and put it on as she moved in front of Alex. Getting the rest of her arm into her jacket sleeve, she stared into Alex's serene blue eyes. Alex stared back at Olivia's mild brown eyes. Olivia began to move forward, as did Alex as she herself wanted this more than anything right now. Their lips met in a gentle exchange of pressure, nothing too pushy, desperate, or staved, just an amicable exchange. Soon a change occurred that grew deeper with passion, depth, and volume as Alex let out a sensible note that warmed both women. At this Olivia moved her hands to the small of Alex's back, bringing her closer and further deepening the kiss. Alex's arms moved as well, as they haloed around Olivia neck, tangling in her short but in a small perspective long hair. The blonde began to move back toward the couch pulling brunette with her. The brunette pulled back, halting the blonde's direction to the couch, listening to the blonde's silent panting rhythm aligning rhythmically with her own.
"As much as I would like this to continue," she paused for a brief moment catching her breath, "I should go and tell my mom that I 'didn't screw it up'."
"Why would she think you screwed it up?" Alex asked resting her forehead against Olivia's.
"It's another story." Olivia said smiling, then briefly kissed Alex before breaking their embrace to move to the door.
Alex grabbed Olivia's hand stopping her from moving any farther. She laced their fingers and said as she started to walk to her front door with Olivia in tow, "You have a lot of stories. I'm glad I get the chance to know them all."
"Me too." the brunette said as they reached the door and Alex began to open it.
"I guess you should be going huh?"
"Yeah, I'll call you, or see you on Monday for lunch, yes?"
"You can count on it Liv." she said as she leaned in for a goodnight kiss that Olivia so willingly provided.
"Goodnight Alex." Olivia said as she walked off to the elevators.
"Goodnight Liv." Alex said as she closed the door on the end of a first date, but one that would open to a new beginning.
Olivia entered her home after driving back from Alex's. She looked around to see if her mom was still there waiting up for her. As she moved about her home, she noticed that there on the couch was a blob, a blob that shouldn't be there. She moved over to her couch and saw her mom curled up in a little ball trying to keep warm in the winter weather. Instead of waking her she moved to the bedroom and returned to the living room with a blanket. She gently placed it on top of her mom and as she started to move away she heard a voice say, "So does this mean no wedding?"
She turned around to look at the ball on her couch with a smile the blob couldn't see for that would just mean more interrogation. "Don't lose faith in me just yet."
"Okay " her mom turned on the couch putting her back to her daughter, "goodnight Nic."
"Goodnight mom." Olivia said as she walked back into her room looking forward to her next encounter with Alex.
As Alex got ready for bed after her wonderful first date she heard a knock at her door. She knew it wasn't Olivia but you never know. It would only be one other person she knew of Mrs. Agalabla.
Alex walked to her door to see what Mrs. Agalabla had to say. She opened the door and saw old woman with a knowing smirk on her face.
"Please come in Maddie, I know you want to."
Maddie walked in, she made her way to the couch as Alex shut the front door. She then made her way to the couch that held a good hearted nosy person.
"No matter how much I will never understand why you love women, "
"Woman, as in one." Alex corrected.
"Woman," Maddie corrected herself in retrospect, "I like her, and she seems to make you happy. So I guess you can keep her."
Alex smiled at the surrogate mother Maddie created herself to be for Alex. Not only did Maddie act as a mother to Alex, she was her best friend.
"Whew!" Alex breathed out pretending to wipe her forehead of sweat. "I thought you would disapprove and I would have to sneak around behind your back just to see her."
"Well you are a grown woman, I can't stop you."
"But you do have good advice and do warn me about people you have a bad feeling about." Alex offered.
"I'm glad you think so Alex." Maddie said as she placed a loving hand over Alex's in understanding. "Well, I must be going, you need your rest." she said as she got up from the couch heading toward the door.
"Goodnight Maddie we should have lunch sometime."
Maddie turned around from the door to face Alex, "That would be lovely dear, hopefully with that special someone so I can be more acquainted with her."
Alex smiled, "Whenever is convenient for you."
"And that special someone." Maddie pointed out.
"And for Olivia." Alex acknowledged.
Maddie waved her goodbye to Alex as she disappeared behind the door and Alex headed to her room for bed.
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