DISCLAIMER: Guiding Light and its characters are the property of Proctor & Gamble. No infringement intended.
THANKS: Jules, for reading this in PM and letting me know I was on the right track. DiNovia just for being awesome and always encouraging me. This was written a while back, and was supposed to be a two parter from both Olivia and Natalia's perspectives, but I got distracted by work and life. There may be a second part. There may not. But for what it's worth, here it is from Olivia's perspective. Feedback is love!
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
My Kingdom For A Kiss Upon Her Shoulder
By DJ Shiva
OK, so it wasn't exactly earth-shattering. In fact, it was kinda like being a teenager again, all fumbling and odd; curiosity overwhelmed by inexperience.
I mean, it's not like I am inexperienced. I picked up a thing or two over the years, but that was with...men. I know every trick in the book to make men want me; the things that make them beg, the things to say to get what I need from them.
With Natalia it's so...different. It's not like I don't get the mechanics of it...I mean...I know how it all works, right? But she was so scared, and I could see it in her eyes. I knew she wanted it to happen, but I don't know that she was prepared for the reality of it. Hell, I don't even think she's been with anyone except Gus and Frank. Not exactly a stellar resume.
Oh knock it off, Olivia. Just because your resume is several pages long, doesn't mean you had any idea what you were getting into either. I felt like such a neophyte. Like a baby deer learning to walk on shaky legs. Oh great...I have been around Natalia way too long. I am reduced to fucking Bambi metaphors.
That's it. No more Disney films on movie night.
I mean, it was gearing up to be a great night. I was so happy to have the house to ourselves. Jane was watching Emma, under threat of death to not let her out of sight. I didn't want any surprises tonight. Dinner by candlelight, which I spent mostly distracted by the way the light played with the shadows of her eyes, and the way her dimples snuck out every time she smiled so coyly at me. She hides them. When she knows I am watching, she hides them, as if there is a secret hidden behind her smile. I know part of the secret. I want to know more. I finally took her hand so she couldn't hide behind it anymore. The look she gave me then...oh that look could have melted stone.
I couldn't maintain my composure after that look. I was determined to kiss her then and there.
I don't remember how we made it upstairs after that.
When I woke up, her arms curled around me and her head on my chest, I felt a little...guilty...for thinking about it the way I did. It certainly wasn't unpleasant. How could it be? But the raging fire in my gut, and all of the pent up emotions attached to it had built to a point of explosion, and it...it wasn't that. It was headed there, all exciting fumblings and the hurry to see and touch and taste, but the moment I saw it in her eyes...the fear...I pulled back. Reigned it in, hoping to give her some sense of safety, so afraid of overwhelming her with my need. It became tentative and halting, still breathless, but altogether just...not what I expected.
And now here I am, hiding from her in the bathroom, feeling slightly tired but not even close to satiated. A cold shower would have been more appropriate, but this damned old farmhouse only has an antique clawfoot tub, which ordinarily I love, but today it feels like an insult. I want the cold needling spray cascading over my skin to bring my temperature down. Instead I settled for candles, and a warm lavendar-scented bath to soothe my nerves and calm my frustrations. It's working to calm my nerves, but nothing can settle the heat inside, the thoughts of her...
I take a long sip of wine from the glass sitting on the small table beside the tub. It's not my first drink, and it quickly combines with the warmth of the water in soothing these relentless thoughts. As the alcohol hits my bloodstream, I lay my head back against the cold porcelain, closing my eyes and watching our initial kiss in the kitchen playing across the big screen backs of my eyelids. It distracts me from my earlier discomfort, reminding me of the passion that we hold between us.
I can't help but smile; despite my frustrations at our first touches, I know we have time to explore this. I feel the bloom of what we have started spread from my chest, throughout my body, and I sink deeper into the depths of the water surrounding me.
I must have fallen asleep, because I am awakened by the click of the door, and the sound of someone moving closer. Natalia. I can smell your scent; it surrounds me, mingling with the lavendar and causing the blood to rush straight to the core of me.
It amazes me, how quickly your presence besieges my senses, holding me in your thrall, as I slowly turn my head toward you and open my eyes.
You are standing at the edge of the bathtub, your gaze dark. Intent. You hold my eyes captive with your own for only a moment, before your attention is diverted on a long journey down my body.
I am finding it hard to breathe. The air has become thick with scent and steam and the tension of your scrutiny. I watch you, watching me, your eyes ending at my feet sitting at the other end of the tub, then moving back, traversing the landscape of my skin in reverse.
And then your eyes lock with mine again, and I feel the heat rushing through me again. The serious look on your face fades, and you smile that dimpled smile and I am taken completely off guard. There is no hiding this time. Not your dimples, not your eyes...all of the defenses, your shyness, all of it gone as you open yourself to me, and I am...completely undone by what I see there.
There is a loaded moment as an unseen thread snaps, and what came before is no longer relevant, as you open your beautiful mouth and snap me out of my stunned reverie. "Maybe we just needed to...relax?"
I open and close my mouth like a fish out of a water, unable to respond and then...and then my world explodes as you slowly untie the sash on your sky blue silken robe, teasing me with your deliberate movements. You look down, watching your own hands for a moment, before you look up at me with a fire in your eyes like I have never seen before, as your hands rise, shrugging the material off of your shoulders, and letting gravity take over as your robe falls silently to the floor.
For once in my life, I have NO idea what to say. Your skin is glowing golden in the muted light from the candles, and for a brief moment I sense the taste of caramel on my tongue; a residual memory made real by my brain completely overloading. Just as I think I have lost all ability to think, you look down into the water, open your mouth again, and I am lost to the rush of blood pulsing in my ears.
"Spread your legs."
I remain mute, stunned silent by this new side of you as I do your bidding. You chuckle to yourself, as you step one bare leg into the tub, and then the other. You turn your back to me, and I am devastated, openly staring at the unmasked landscape of your body. My eyes drink in the contours, the dimples where the small of your back meets the curve of your backside, and I revel at the shadows that grace the underside of your ass where it meets the back of your thighs.
I feel you looking at me over the curve of your shoulder, as I am possessed by the need to feel your skin under my hands. I reach my fingers out to touch the back of your thigh, the softness belying the strength lying just beneath. I hear the sharp intake of your breath as I trail my fingers up, lightly grazing you with my short nails. Your legs bend as you sink into the water, and I let your descent guide my touch, until you are settled into the tub, nestled between my shaking legs.
For a moment, I can't help but wonder at the way this is shattering every notion I have ever had of love and sex and everything in between. I have never been like this...the fire in me is still raging, but instead of an explosion, this is a slow burn. And you are matching me with every look, every movement, every touch. I think this before I even realize that your hands are trailing gently up my legs as you push your body into mine, laying against my chest with a sigh, your dark tresses tickling against my breasts. I am sure you can hear my heart beating against your back, because it's all I can hear in my own head at the moment.
You lean to the side, craning your head around as you speak to me in a husky whisper. "I want to forget everything that came before this moment. I want to be here...with you...a part of you, and I don't want to think. I just want us to BE, right here, right now. Together." You reach your hand around as you speak, tangling your fingers in my hair, and pulling me down into a kiss that curls my toes and almost makes me forget my name.
It takes a moment after our lips part, after staring into the pools of your eyes for what seems like forever, before I can begin to process any of it. I try to speak, but you silence my words with your mouth and I know that now is not the time for talking. Now is not the time for anything but you, and me and this incredible energy forming between us; the culmination of this love that took so long for either of us to acknowledge, but that now fills my heart more and more with each passing moment.
You turn back around, settling into me, and I am struck by my own sense of playfulness, and the surprise that I am not thinking about what I am doing, so much as just feeling my way through it now. I gather water in my palm, letting it trickle down your shoulder, as I watch the rivulets find their path down your collarbone, between your breasts and into the water below. I feel your giggle as you shake against me, and I repeat the action, this time using my lips and tongue to capture the water before it can escape.
Your head lolls against my shoulder, and I hear the faintest "Oh!" escape your throat, as my kisses work their way up your neck, stopping to nibble just behind your ear. I hear a moan and I have no idea whose it is, nor do I care, as you take my hand in yours, placing it on your chest, just above your collarbone. I lose all sense of time and place, as you pull my hand with yours, down across your breast, pausing only for a moment to tug at your nipple with your own fingers, urging me to do the same, before continuing down...I inhale with the realization...down into the water towards the center of you.
You sense my hesitation, tightening your grip on my hand. "No more fear. We are here now, and we know what we want. This is how it's supposed to be." You look back at me again, determination showing in your dark eyes. "You don't have to hold back with me, Olivia. I want this." You lower your voice and the next words come out as a half moan, as you pull my hand beneath the water and press my hand against your heat. "I want you."
I press my hand against you, sliding rhythmically against the hot, wet crux of you and as you push back against me, I lose all coherent thought, as our movements become cadenced, and our bodies seem to meld into one. You let go of my hand, letting me take control, as you wrap your hand in my hair, arching back and letting go with a flurry of Spanish words that I don't understand. Now is not the time to ask for a translation, so I tuck away the reminder to myself to ask you later, as I let loose my own litany of pleasure. Your name on my lips, a guttural moan in my throat, and several utterances to God that would probably make you blush under...different circumstances...it all comes tumbling out as your cries turn to nonsensical sounds that cut to the quick of me.
I sense the moment draw closer, as your hold on my hair tightens, and my vision becomes blurred as I feel my own peak rushing toward me. You turn your head to me, pulling me forward again to capture my lips with your own, as your climax finally hits you and you breathe your cries into my mouth. I am surrounded by you, your breath, your skin, your scent, and I topple over the edge myself. Something explodes behind my eyes and suddenly I can't tell where you end and I begin and I know...I know everything I need to know in that moment. All I've known, all I've done, all I've felt, was leading to this. If anything before ever mattered, it doesn't matter now.
I hear you let out a long, contented sigh, as your body relaxes against me, still quaking occasionally from the aftershocks. You loosen your grip on my hair, but now you are running your hands through it, scratching my skin gently with your nails. I am practically purring under your caresses.
Finally, after all of this, I find the power to speak.
"Natalia...I had no idea..."
You turn in my arms, facing me as best you can, considering the size of the bathtub. Your enigmatic smile still manages to bring out the dimples in your cheeks, as you place a finger on my lips. Your eyes meet mine, and so much is spoken in that brief moment of silence. Your smile widens as I kiss your fingertip, acknowledging...everything. Finally, you open those beautiful lips and whisper
"We've spent so much time...thinking...about us. I think we just needed...we just needed to let it all go; all the things we thought we were and all the things we thought we should be."
I chuckle, breaking the mood like a complete idiot. "And maybe I should stop being such a control freak?"
You scrunch your nose in that adorable way you do when you are trying to look chagrined, but really want to laugh. "Maybe a little?" You shiver as you finally lose your composure and grin with such joy I fall in love with you all over again. I realize that the bathwater has cooled and it's time to be someplace considerably warmer.
"Well, I hate to be the one to challenge your authority, Natalia Rivera, but I think it's time to get out of here and get back in bed."
You laugh again, as you rise from the water. "Are you saying you are wanting to sleep, Olivia Spencer?"
I watch as the light from the candles catches the water running down your back. "Not at all." You cast a glance at me over your shoulder. The look in your eyes sets my blood afire.
"Not. At. All."
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