DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of MGM, Showtime, Gekko etc. no infringement intended.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Written for the Fourth of July! femslash_today Porn Battle.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.

Not Sex
By trancer


"What are you doing?" Sam pressed her back to the wall, mouth gaped open in exasperation as she stared at Vala. The woman eying her with her typical 'and you think you're so smart' expression.

"I want to know why Daniel won't have sex with me," Vala explained, her fingers still working on the lock to the chest she'd found hidden inside Daniel's closet.

Sam groaned. That wasn't the answer she'd been given five minutes ago when they first entered (though Sam was certain the police would consider it breaking and entering) Daniel's home and Vala began rummaging through it as if she'd been invited. No longer wanting a part in this but also not wanting to stray to far from the woman who always managed to get the two of them into more trouble than anyone could imagine, Sam exited the closet, flopping backwards onto Daniel's bed.

"Vala," the name exaggerated on her lips in a long pouty whine.

"Oh!" Vala's surprised voice carried out into the bedroom. And Sam groaned again because whatever it was that she didn't really want to know, Vala was going to tell her anyway.

"Well that certainly explains it," Vala strode from the closet, in one hand, holding a very large dildo, in the other, a black leather mask with zippers across it along with a very large bullwhip. Sam could feel the crimson coloring her cheeks.

"That chest is filled with this stuff," Vala's eyes turned towards Sam, squinting at her accusingly. "Did you have any idea?"

"No! Of course not."


"Okay, I knew about Jack but not.." she paused, not quite able to say the words. "..that!"

"Huh," Vala shrugged, suddenly her eyes went wide. "Do you think they video themselves?"

Sam jerked up. Quickly reaching with her arms just in time to catch Vala by the waist. She yanked the woman backwards, tossing her onto the bed. Sam straddled Vala's hips, pinning her arms by the wrists. "Whatever it is you're about to do - DON'T!"

"I was thinking about having sex with you."


"I was going into the kitchen to find some of that, what do you call it, oh yes, whipped cream but since you seem ready to go.."

"We are NOT having sex!"

"We're not?" Vala tilted her head curiously. "Do you not want to have sex?"

"Yes. NO! Dammit, Vala!"

"Well, which is it, Major Carter? If you want," she raised a playful eyebrow. "I can get some accessories while you decide."

"Vala! Would you..Could you.." she hated being this discombobulated, a feeling that always seemed to occur whenever she was in the presence of the alien. Because she didn't want to have sex with Vala, really. Even though she hadn't released the pressure on Vala's wrists, or stopped straddling her thighs, or noticed the pressure between her legs and the rising heat radiating outwards at an alarming degree.

Because the last thing Samantha Carter wanted to do was have sex with Vala Mal Doran.


And she meant it.

"Dammit, Daniel's going to kill me," Sam mumbled before smashing her lips against Vala's. Sam continued pinning Vala to the mattress, repositioning her hips, legs entangling, thighs pressing against each others heat. Until she could no longer just kiss Vala. Wanted to touch her. And clothes were ripped from the other's body. Skin pressed against skin. Tongues followed fingers and vice versa. And Sam, who really didn't want to have sex with Vala, was arching and bucking, hands curling the sheets into her fists as the orgasm ripped through her body.

"Well, Major Samantha Carter," Vala flopped back onto the mattress. "That was, hands down, the best not sex I've ever had."

"Yeah," Sam rolled into Vala, began taking playful nips from her neck and moving towards her chest. "Imagine what would happen if we really had sex."

The End

Return to Stargate Fiction

Return to Main Page