DISCLAIMER: All television shows, movies, books and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory or in any way factual.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: My take on the aftermath from the "My Two Young Men" sneak peek.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
Old Habits Die Hard
By carpesomediem
Robin's breath caught in her throat when Katherine came into sight. The redhead had yet to see her, and the younger woman had a moment where she knew she should run but held her ground. She'd held it so far, despite Katherine's denial and excuses. Robin had fled Mrs. McCluskey's celebration after their argument to pack and run before Katherine had a chance to change her mind. But now, now it was too late.
"Robin."
Katherine stopped mid-step, surprised to find the blonde still there. She wasn't even trying to push the younger woman away, it just kept happening and by the time she caught herself doing it, it was too late. It was a vicious cycle, but when you had been hurt as much as Katherine had been, it was hard to stop pushing the people that genuinely cared about her away.
"This is your last chance," Robin said suddenly, standing and letting herself into the house. She hightailed it up the stairs, hoping Katherine wouldn't stop her from escaping to the confines of her room. She'd been crying, and she wanted to stop. There was only so many times she could be strong in the face of Katherine's denial, and she was pretty sure she'd run out of steam.
"Robin, wait," Katherine chased after her. 'Why am I doing this?' she asked herself, doubt crippling her to the core as the blonde raced up the stairs. Katherine heard Robin's bedroom door slam shut, and she sighed. She ran a hand through her hair, closed her eyes and steadied herself by placing a hand on the banister. 'Why can't I do this? What happened to me?'
Katherine stood there for a few minutes stuck in place. Her mind was racing, she tried calming herself down but she just couldn't. She wanted nothing more than to bring Robin home that night, sit on the couch and talk like they did most nights. Instead, she'd found herself caught up in a cat and mouse game with that doctor David. Before she even knew what she was doing, she was flirting back and forgetting her so-called relationship with Robin. 'Old habits die hard,' she chided herself.
Without hesitation, the redhead found herself walking up the stairs towards Robin's room. She didn't know what she was going to say or what she was going to do, but she had to do something to keep the blonde in her life. She wanted Robin there, but she was doing everything in her power to show her that wasn't true. It was time to change that.
"Katherine?" Robin had been startled when her bedroom door flew open without a knock. She was genuinely surprised to see Katherine burst in then come to another standstill. This was usually the part where Robin swooped in, saved the day and all was right in there world for a few hours or so.
"I've spent my whole life being this or that to everyone who walked in it, it's hard sometimes to just be me." Katherine stopped suddenly, unsure how to continue. Robin started opening her mouth to speak again, but Katherine put a hand up to stop her. "If you start talking now, I may lose my nerve." For the redhead to even admit that, aloud, was more than enough proof that she was ready to take a leap no matter where it took her. Robin nodded, a curiosity in her eyes before sitting down at the kitchen table and letting Katherine continue.
"There used to be a time when I was strong. I was so strong. I had to be. For Dylan. I had to be strong for Dylan. Her dad was such a nightmare, and nobody took my word for it…" She trailed off, painful memories fluttering to the forefront of her mind. "From there, I went from one fiasco to the other and eventually I was left all alone to figure out what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. People used me, I used them; it kept happening until I finally went off the deep end, and you know the rest of that story…"
"Katherine," Robin said softly. She took a few steps forward and put a hand on the older woman's arm to encourage her to continue. Katherine made eye contact again, threatening to cry as she looked into the other woman's calm face. It gave her the strength to keep going.
"I don't want to lose you," she admitted. "But I don't know that I can have you either. This is all so new, so confusing. I do enjoy being with you – not just the sex – but just being with you. It's been so long since I've felt so comfortable with someone, but when you start to label it, you start to label me, and it's just too much. I can't handle that. Everyone is telling me I have to be one thing or another, and I just don't know what I am. Not anymore. Not, yet… But I want to figure it out, I want to find out, and I just hope you can put up with me long enough to see this through."
"I'll put up with you for as long as it takes, Katherine," Robin pulled her into a hug and held her tightly. "But you have to stop pushing me away. I can drop the gay, straight, lesbian; whatever you want to be is fine with me as long as you are with me. That's all I want. I can't take much more of seeing you with other people, other men people."
The redhead chuckled, stepping back slightly as Robin took both her hands in her own. Robin looked down at their clasped hands, then back up into Katherine's eyes.
"Why don't we call it a night?" she suggested. "No sex, no crutch, tonight let's just go to sleep." Katherine smiled, then nodded in agreement. They didn't bother getting undressed, settling for kicking off shoes and leaving it at that. Robin then led her to the bed, let her get in first before making her way to the other side and sliding in next to Katherine. She held her close, Katherine bringing their hands together again on her stomach.
"Thank you."
"For what?" Robin asked as she kissed Katherine's shoulder and settled in closer to the older woman.
"For not giving up on me."
"I never will, Katherine. Just don't you give up on me. I can't take much more of it." Katherine smiled. After tonight, she was going to do everything in her power to keep that promise.
The End