DISCLAIMER: Law & Order: Special Victims Unit and all characters are
property of NBC and Dick Wolf.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
Olivia's Father
By Alexi Ross
Olivia, Elliot and John all sat at their desks with their heads buried in their work when Captain Cragen entered the station house. Although unusually late, no one seemed to notice the grim look and deeper than normal wrinkles in his forehead. Demanding their attention, he sat down on the side of Elliot's desk.
"Has anyone seen the morning Globe?" He asked, then took the paper from beneath his arm and unrolled it. "I don't even want to ask this question, but I'm going to anyway. Have any of you been talking to this reporter--a mister Jeff Hanson?"
Each one of the detectives nodded and emphatic "no." But Cragen still looked angry. Letting out a deep sigh, he threw the copy onto the desk in front of Olivia whose shock was evident at first sight.
"What the hell?" She blurted out.
On the front page was a picture of her, Elliot and John and a caption that read, "Get to know New York's finest--on a personal level."
Quickly turning to the story, Olivia read things about herself that she hadn't told very many. There--in black and white--was the story of her life. The story mentioned her mother and told about the rape that created her.
"Where did they get this information?" She asked. "They have no right to print this," she exclaimed. "Take a look, Elliot," she growled, throwing the paper across the desk, "see what they wrote about you."
Elliot read through the article and quickly overviewed John, Olivia and the Captain's stories. In each of them were personal things that no one, at least "no one" in the public should know. He always tried to keep a bit of anonymity concerning his family, but now, all of that was blown. For all the creeps in the city to read were their names, names of their family members and even their addresses. Any criminal could now take his revenge.
"Got any idea who this Hanson is?" He asked Cragen. "This looks like the stuff that came out during the Morris Commission investigation. Isn't it illegal to write personal information about someone without their permission."
"Well, one thing's for sure," Cragen answered, "if none of you gave him permission to print these, it's an obvious ethic violation. However, from what Casey has informed me, we cannot prosecute him for libel if the information is correct. Even though, I'd like to wring the son-of-a-bitch's neck. Fin," he ordered, "since he hasn't written anything about you, maybe you could arrange a meeting with him. See if you can finesse him into giving up his source. I'd like to kill any further stories like this."
"Sure," Fin replied, "I'd love to take on the media! There are, still, a few ways to shut down creeps like this." Reaching for the huge blue book in front of him, he searched for the number then dialed the globe.
"Nothing illegal!" Cragen reminded him as he shuffled off towards his office. "I don't want to lose any of you!"
However, as angry as she was about the article, Olivia was preoccupied today. The previous night was supposed to be a romantic evening for her and Alex, but they argued and Alex left angry. And, so far, she hadn't called this morning. Normally, that wouldn't worry her much, but lately, things were strained between them. Alex took a job working with a prominent law firm, now bailing out rich corporate criminals--most of whom made Olivia sick with jealousy. Deep in the corners of her mind always lurked the fear of losing Alex again. But, this time, she figured a handsome, rich, young man would steal her away. The difference in their ages and backgrounds were obvious. But, whatever the case, she felt, Alex was "too-good" for her, and when they argued, her fears overwhelmed her.
Finally, about nine thirty, she gave in and dialed the familiar number. It didn't matter who was wrong or right, she was determined to apologize.
"Alex Cabot," the voice on the other end came in crisp and clear, despite the noisy background. Obviously, from the sound of car horns and chatter, she was on the street somewhere.
For a moment, Olivia caught her breath and just listened, trying to find the appropriate words, but losing her courage with each passing second.
"Hello. Is anyone there?" Alex questioned with a hint of aggravation in her voice.
"It's me," Olivia finally replied. "I just needed to hear your voice."
"Oh, thank God! I was just thinking about you." Alex replied. "You must have read my mind."
"Can we meet for lunch," Olivia asked sounding a bit timid. "I'd really like to see you."
"It's a bit early. don't you think?" Alex asked playfully. "Lunch at 9:30. That sounds a bit suspicious, detective."
"Uh, you know what I mean," Olivia tried, unsuccessfully, to sound annoyed at Alex's flirting. By now, she was probably regretting the night's blow-out too. "Oh, by the way, did you happen to see this morning's Globe?"
"No, why?"
"Well, it seems, we're big news here at SVU. The "panty-police" finally made the front page," she laughed and winked at Elliot who suddenly dropped his pencil and stopped working. She gained his attention, then. "Anyway...where do you want to meet for lunch?"
"Ah, let's see. How about that little diner just down the street from the station. We can get that nice, corner booth you like so much."
Again, Alex's flirting made Olivia's knees grow weak. Lately, she was seeing the hard nosed attorney is a different light--a sweeter, softer, and much more human light.
"Great," Olivia agreed. "See you at Lucy's about 12? Oh, and Alex," she paused and whirled around in her chair...away from the guys--trying to cover her conversation, "I love you."
"I love you, too." Alex replied softly, suddenly very relieved.
Snapping her phone shut, Olivia turned back around to face Elliot who was now smirking with delight at her display of vulnerability.
"What?" She growled.
"Hey Munch," Elliot laughed and ignored her rebuttal, "what do you say, we meet for lunch down at Lucy's. Say about 12 o'clock?"
"Sounds great!" John laughed and made ugly kissing noises at Elliot. "Oh, and Elliot....I love you!"
At that, they both laughed aloud. Olivia had grown accustomed to their fun making, but it didn't bother her anymore--even though she pretended it did. Probably, she and Alex were the objects of their fantasies anyway. But, she loved the guys--assholes though they were.
"Damn it, guys! Fuck off!" She retorted and buried her head back in her p-3s. The rest of the morning dragged by. Every so often she found herself looking at her watch, only to find that five minutes had passed. And, each time, Elliot and John snickered and mockingly proclaimed their undying love for one another. Until, finally, she gathered her work and headed to the upstairs interview room. It was useless trying to get anything done with them constantly reminding her of Alex.
By 11:30, she was ready to go. Elliot was in a better mood. And, he and John finally gave up their ribbing.
"You know? I think, I'll go home for lunch today." Elliot told her as they left the squad room. "Been a long time since I had dinner with the misses."
"Cathy will probably fall over," she joked, patting him on the shoulder. "But, I don't blame you a bit. She's a good woman. you know? Not many would put up with your shit!"
Elliot stopped dead in his tracks--his face turned stern and grim. "You know? As usual, you are right. You'd do well to remember that, too! Alex doesn't strike me as the patient type."
"Don't I know it?" She grumbled while hailing for a cab. "That's one of the many--otherwise annoying--things I love about her."
"Want me to drop you off?" He asked.
"Nah," Olivia replied. "It's out of your way. Go home to your wife," she ordered and climbed into the cab.
Elliot stood there for a moment, pondering. Truly, his heaven was at home, and he could always count on Olivia to remind him.
Though it was only 11:45, Alex was already at the cafe, anxiously waiting for Olivia. She had already ordered wine and was munching on a bread roll when Olivia entered the room. Her face, automatically, lit up, but she purposely wiped off the smile--not wanting to seem too needy or desperate. But, she could barely hide her joy when Olivia sat down and picked up the menu.
"So," Alex began, "how was your morning?"
"Great," Olivia replied, "well except for that news article and the guys teasing me about you. But, let's not talk about work. O.k.?"
Alex placed her hand atop Olivia's and stroked it with her fingertips. She wore Olivia's silver and onyx band now, which was too large for her ring finger so she kept it on her thumb.
"You have the sexiest hands," Alex whispered.
At that moment, a man who was sitting on the opposite end of the dining room approached them. Olivia quickly pulled her hand back, always uncomfortable with public displays of affection--even with Alex. But the man seemed not to care.
"Excuse me," he interrupted-completely ignoring Alex's presence, "Aren't you Detective Olivia Benson?"
"Yes. And you are?"
"I'm Arthur Langdon," he replied. "I'm sorry for the interruption but I'm an old friend of your mother's. That is, if your mother is Serena Benson."
Suddenly, he gained her complete attention. She never knew any of her mother's acquaintances and wasn't sure she had any "friends." Besides, they never ran in the same circles. This man was stranger, still. Nice looking and well dressed with a foreign accent, he certainly wasn't part of her mother's usual crowd.
"I'm sorry. I wouldn't have known you, but for this story in the morning Globe. I only saw you once...when you were about ten or so. You probably wouldn't remember me."
"I never really knew any of my mother's friends," Olivia admitted.
"Well, you see, I've been in Greece for the past 15 years," he continued, "and when I returned earlier this week, I hoped I might see her. But, when I went to her house, no one seemed to know her. I don't suppose you would give her my number?"
"I'm sorry." Olivia paused for a moment, remembering her mother's horrid death. "My mother passed away three years ago."
"Oh," he replied seeing the obvious tears welling in her eyes. "Forgive me. I didn't know. What happened?"
"It was an accident. She fell down some stairs...outside the rainbow room." Olivia choked on her words. She still felt cheated by her mother's death. She had lived her entire life blaming herself for her mother's alcoholism, but in the end it made no difference at all. And, she never had a father, which probably contributed to the reasons she never maintained a steady relationship. Until working at SVU, she felt totally alone. And, now, there was Alex.
"If it's not too much to ask," the man solemnly, "would you tell me where she's buried. I'd like to pay my respects."
"Sure!" Olivia answered, then took out her notebook and wrote down the directions. The man was obviously sincere and it puzzled her. He seemed extremely familiar, but she just couldn't place why. After he left, all her attention quickly centered on Alex.
"Well, that was nice,' Alex commented, motioning to the waitress. "You ready to order, Olivia?"
"Actually...I'm not very hungry anymore. Can we just get out of here? Maybe, go back to my apartment and finish what we started last night?"
"Wow," Alex was surprised by her sudden boldness, "can't pass up an offer like that!" Grabbing her briefcase, she took out the phone while breaking off another bite from the bread roll. "I'll clear my schedule."
Thankfully, Alex drove to the cafe. But, it took enormous strength and willpower to keep the car moving and between the lines with Olivia nibbling at her ear and neck. And, when she unbuttoned her blouse and began stroking her breasts, she nearly lost her grip on the wheel.
"If you don't stop that," she murmured, "I'm gonna stop this car and rape you, right her for God and everybody else to see."
"Can't rape the willing," Olivia mocked.
Through sheer will and strong determination, Alex finally made it to Olivia's apartment. Hurrying to the front door, she punched in the security code while Olivia lingered a few steps behind, eyeing the gorgeous figure of her playmate. Alex practically ran to the apartment and used her key to open the door. Then grabbing Olivia's hand, she jerked her inside the door and pushed her back against it. With her mouth against Olivia's and her body pressing firmly against her center, Alex bolted the door, then shoved Olivia's jacket off her shoulders and began tugging at her belt.
"Woah," Olivia caught her hands. "Slow down, counselor! We've got all afternoon." She said while pulling her into another slow kiss. "I want to savor every second of you."
"God.......!" Alex grumbled. "You make me want to scream."
"Oh, I will make you scream!" Olivia laughed as Alex turned away from her.
"Fine," she yelled back at her. Although she was in no mood for taking it "slow," she would play along with Olivia's games. At least, for now. Making her way to the kitchen, she peeked in the fridge and then the cabinets. As usual, the fridge was rather bare, except for a half empty bottle of chardonnay, a bottle of ranch dress and a head of lettuce.
"Damn, Olivia," she yelled back at her. "don't you ever go to the grocery store?" Taking the bottle of wine and a couple of glasses from the cabinet, she poured them a drink.
Sitting down at the bar, Olivia just smiled and took a sip of wine. As Alex turned, she noticed Olivia's heated glares, and felt an awkward blush creep up her neck and then her face. She was so incredibly compelling with her roughly combed brown hair and chocolate colored eyes--strangely tempting. She was like chocolate--only better. Leaning forward across the bar, she pressed her lips to Olivia's again, drawing her into a long wet kiss.
"So what am I gonna have to do?" She asked, finally managing to pull back, "Chase you around the room all day? Or should I just take care of things myself?"
Olivia cocked an eyebrow. "What fun that would be to watch," she thought, but completely ignored the question. "I love you, Alexandra Cabot!" Her voice came out not much louder than a whisper. Taking a hold of the buttons on her blouse, she pulled her lips against hers again, this time more forcible than before.
"Go to bed with me," she demanded, finally backing off.
"Absolutely," Alex replied breathlessly, "I thought, you'd never ask!"
"Oh, I wasn't asking," Olivia teased playfully.
At that moment, Alex was completely under her control. Her knees were so weak, she could barely stand, but she knew she could run to the bedroom. However, slowly making her way down the hall, she discarded her clothes--piece by piece--tossing them back at Olivia who still sat at the bar, finishing her wine. Soon, she would follow. There was no resisting this incredible woman.
When she entered the bedroom, Alex was sitting on the edge of the bed with her arms behind her--her breast pointing firmly upward. When Olivia undressed as she moved, but when she came close to the bed, Alex crossed her legs teasingly. Olivia felt her desire melting away at all her inhibitions and pretenses and flowing freely out between her legs. Dropping to her knees, she parted her legs and began kissing upward from her knees.
Alex gasped with pleasure. The sensations piercing through her body were almost unbearable. But when Olivia's tongue finally made it's way to her center, Alex pushed her head back gently.
"No. Not yet," she told her, then scooted herself back onto the bed and pulled the sheet over her. "I want you to make love to me...before you fuck me."
Olivia followed on cue, climbing underneath the cover and wrapping herself around Alex. As always, lovemaking was easy. When Alex finally lay exhausted and sleeping with her head resting on Olivia's arm, her thoughts went back to the man she met earlier.
Soon, she too drifted into sleep, but hers was restless, filled with scenes of her childhood. Memories of her mother, sitting in front of the fireplace with tears in her eyes and a bottle beside her, haunted her dreams. Since she learned about her conception, she blamed herself for her mother's unhappiness. But Serena made a choice to drink. And, she couldn't make her stop--no matter how much she begged and pleaded. Until finally, just after joining SVU, she just gave up. Then she lost her.
Awakening suddenly, she tried to focus on the good things about her mom. The happy memories always helped ease her pain--though few and far between. Even though, she was a drunk, Serena gave Olivia everything she could afford. But the only things that Olivia really wanted were a happy mother and a father. It was long ago, in her youth, when she decided 'never' to have children.
Later in the evening, her cell phone rang. It was Munch, who had been working all afternoon. Expecting her to return after dinner, he took a message for her and promised to deliver it. Arthur Langdon called and left his number. He wanted to speak with her, claiming it was urgent. Munch found out that Arthur was the father of Trevor--the notorious attorney who often defended their collars. Suddenly, Olivia knew who the man reminded her of, but she was more curious than ever. However, all of it would have to wait until morning.
In the morning, she strolled into the office as casually as drifting on a cloud. Humming to herself, she resumed the work she left the day before. With the distracting noise of her humming, all eyes in the room looked up from their work, then back down.
"You're in an awfully good mood this morning," Elliot quirked. "What happened to you yesterday?"
"Got hung up," she casually replied.
"With a beautiful blonde, I'll bet!" Fin laughed. "Wish I could get "hung up" once in a while." They were definitely a hot couple, and he couldn't deny how attractive Olivia could be. Streetwise and tough, she was everything he'd look for in a woman--if he were looking.
At that instant, the desk clerk carried a message to Olivia. After reading it, she picked up the phone and dialed the number.
"Hello, this is Olivia Benson. You left me a message?"
"Yes," the man replied, "I'm sorry to bother you at work, but I need to discuss something with you. It's very important."
"Sure, you can come down to the station if you like," she told him. After all, there were many things she wished to ask him, too. She wondered just how well he, actually, knew her mother. And nothing was better than getting it straight from the horse's mouth--so to speak.
He arrived around eight with a small manila envelope in his hand. Looking around the room, he noticed the looks of the other detectives, then asked if they could go somewhere private. Olivia took him to the upstairs interview room where she often worked, when no one was using it. As he sat down, she poured him a cup of coffee, and sat down across from him.
"What's this all about?" She asked. "I have to say, you've made me very curious."
"I didn't mean to alarm you, Ms. Benson," he said. "But the story in the globe yesterday upset me terribly."
"Really? Why is that?" She asked.
Langdon opened the enveloped and shuffled through some small photographs and then shoved some of them towards her. Olivia quickly recognized the face of her mother, in a much earlier time--probably when she was in college. In some of them were Mr. Langdon as well. As she overviewed the photos, she noticed he held another in his hand, along with a small envelope.
"Were you and my mother lovers?" She asked after seeing them.
"Wow, straight to the point!" He said, "guess you are a lot like her."
"Why don't you get to the point?" Looking at photographs of her mother always agitated her.
"Olivia, I don't know how to say this, but just say it. I think, I'm your father."
"Did you rape my mother?" She asked him.
"No, I didn't rape your mother!" His voice raised. "That's why the article in the paper bothered me so much!" Throwing the envelope across to her, he attempted to prove his story.
Olivia recognized her mother's handwriting immediately. Taking the letter from inside, she noticed, it was dated only a few weeks before Serena's death. Slowly, she read words that hit her like a bullet. It read:
Dearest Arthur,
Today, I sit here, remembering you once again. You were the only man I ever loved. After all this time, I realize, I made many bad choices--some that ruined my life and the life of my wonderful daughter--your daughter.
For years, I punished myself daily, overindulging in liquor and wine, always hating myself for the mistakes I made. But lately, I haven't the heart to continue. I miss my sweet, wonderful daughter, and I miss you. She's so busy with her work that I see her rarely.
I never told you why I pushed you away. Well, here's the truth. You deserve to know. I knew, with how I felt, I would never be faithful to you. No matter how much I loved you (and I loved you as much as I could love a man), I would never be happy with you. You see, I met a woman while we were together, and quickly fell in love with her. Ashamed of how I felt and believing it was immoral, I attempted to purge myself of her memory, but it never worked. It only made me feel more dirty and sick. Neither did my relationship with my professor. But, during that one night when you and I made love, we made Olivia--a beautiful brown eyed girl, now a beautiful woman, who looks much so very much like you, I want to kick myself every time I see her. She reminds me of how big a fool I was--to let you go. But, you deserved more. I hope, you've found it.
Sincerely, Serena Benson
Tears filled Olivia's eyes when she read the letter. It all seemed so clear now. Serena wasn't angry because of her rape. She was tormenting herself because she was a lesbian. All these years, she thought her dad was some sort of evil rapist. Now, she was faced with the fact, it was all a lie.
The thought seemed unreal. It made her angry and she threw the letter down and pushed herself away from the table.
"I'm sorry if I hurt you. But I just wanted you to know the truth. After seeing the story in the Globe, I was very upset. I didn't know that you thought you were the child of rape."
Gathering the papers from the table, he started back towards the steps, but stopped.
"And," he finished, "if you ever want to, I'd like to get to know you!"
As he left, Olivia broke down. It was all "too-much" to take in at once. Not only did she have a father, she had a brother and God only knows, what else. She wanted to feel relieved, but she was mad, hurt and curious all at the same time.
Finally, getting the courage to go back downstairs, she grabbed her jacket and hurried out the door, without a word, leaving the guys both worried and curious at the same time. She needed Alex.
The End