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Olivia Vs the PTA
By ralst


Olivia hated the PTA. It was filled with self-righteous mothers and smug, stay at home fathers, all waiting for the first sign of weakness, so that they could eat you alive. If it had been up to her, and she still couldn't quite reconcile herself to the fact that it wasn't, the whole organisation would be dismantled, and the parents dispatched to parts unknown.

"Another cookie?" Natalia asked pleasantly, as she passed a plate full of home make goodies to one of the three witches to Olivia's right. It had been the younger woman's idea to volunteer for the latest PTA fundraiser, and while Olivia didn't mind doing her bit to raise money, she did object to having her home invaded by a bunch of nosy bigots.

The witch furthest from Natalia plastered on one of her fake smiles, before condescending to talk to her host. "You have such a quaint little home," she smarmed, fuelling Olivia's blood-pressure and earning another black mark against her name. "So rustic," she added, her lip curling with a distaste she couldn't hide.

"We like it." Natalia had managed the impossible, and curtailed an Olivia Spencer bitch-slap before it had time to leave her lips, simply by applying the right amount of pressure to the other woman's thigh. "And Emma adores the ducks."

The middle witch smiled, and for the first time since their visitors arrived, the gesture appeared genuine. "Lara couldn't stop raving about the animals when she came back from her play-date." Her smile, that had been both warm and spontaneous, began to whither in the glare of disapproval from the head witch, before a miracle happened, and the spontaneous appearance of Natalia's dimples conquered yet another heart. "I'm so envious," she beamed. "I've always wanted chickens."

Olivia overlooked the woman's odd fondness for fowl and smiled at her pleasantly; if a heart as jaded as her own could be tamed by the beauty beside her, the little housewife didn't stand a chance. "Living on a farm isn't for everyone," she said, pointedly not looking at the glowering head witch, "but we enjoy it." She took Natalia's hand in her own and kissed it chastely, before looking back at Lara's mother, gratified to see that the other woman's smile hadn't wavered.

"Yes, well." The head witch, her coven broken, stood abruptly. "I think we should go."

The final witch - a befuddled looking househusband with plastic features - looked as if he'd been doused in freezing water. He blinked, not quite understanding the sudden change in tempo, and turned to Lara's mother for some clue as to the correct response. "So soon?" the woman asked, her tone friendly. "Did you need to get home to Dick?"

Olivia smirked and, although she'd later deny it, Natalia had to suppress a smile.

"We wouldn't want to keep you from Dick," said Olivia, her smirk banished for the time being, as she watched the play of emotions on her visitors' faces. The erstwhile leader of the group was livid, her plans of condescension fading into the mist, as her formerly loyal companions changed sides, won over by the warmth and charm inherent in Natalia's smile. She could almost sympathise with the woman, having lost more than her fair share of battles to that very smile, but her borrowed heart wasn't quite that magnanimous. "Another coffee?" she asked the turncoats.

"Jack!" All composure had left the witch's face as she turned burning eyes on her former lackey. "I need a ride home."

"Oh, sure." He - Jack, Olivia would have to try and remember these idiots names, if only to rub salt into the witch's wounds - looked forlornly at the chocolate cake Natalia had left to cool on the side table, his appetite almost overruling his survival instinct, until he registered the death glare in the woman's eyes. "It was nice seeing you again," he said to Natalia, "and very nice meeting you, Olivia."

Olivia smiled gently and Natalia forever won his heart by cutting him a large slice of cake 'for the journey'.

A few minutes after the witch and her turncoat had departed, their final visitor made her leave, having made her point and ensured her expulsion from the inner circle. It had been a brave move, and would not be without consequences, but Olivia planned to do all she could to muddy the waters, and maybe even initiate a coup at the PTA.

"Why are you smiling like that?" Natalia probed, her suspicions roused by the gleam in her girlfriend's eyes. "What are you plotting?"

"World domination and debauchery," Olivia replied, the lecherous look in her eyes making it obvious which of the two she was concentrating on at that moment. "The usual."

"Oh, really?"

Olivia was on the verge of revealing her nascent plan to oust the witch from power and instal a puppet monarch on the PTA thrown, but as Natalia cleaned the chocolate from her fingers, all thoughts of a coup were put on hold. "Yes, really."

The chocolate cake and cookies soon lay forgotten, as the ladies of the house raced each other to their bedroom, and quickly began celebrating their latest victory over the small-minded denizens of Springfield.

The End

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