DISCLAIMER: I don't own CSI or any of it's characters, I'd have more that 20 eurocents in my wallet if I did.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.

Once more….with feeling
By Maaike



I stood in front of the mirror of the locker room, animating myself to get back out there. I just had another fight with Catherine and this is just as much as I can take. Do you know the feeling where you hate to love someone but love to hate them, and at the same time you wish they didn't move you as much as they did. Or that they didn't move you at all.

Most people think I'm a standard workaholic, that I only know how to love my work and have no social life at all. Well the part about not having a social life is partially true, but hell do I know how to love. I wonder what it's like to be really loved though, that's something I haven't experienced yet in all my thirty-four years of experience with life. Back to the subject, I was caught in this hopeless infatuation. I, Sara Sidle, am obsessing over a person, a co-worker, and oh, did I mention it's a female co-worker? This is probably as complicated is it gets.

The first time I set foot in the Las Vegas Crime Lab was a disaster to say at least. People didn't like me because I was the outsider checking up on them. Catherine Willows, my female co-worker, seemed to have the biggest problem with me. And over the years we have been fighting a lot, fighting with passion I might add. Although I think that the passion only came from my side. I've been drooling over Catherine for about 6 years now, yeah, I know I'm pretty pathetic when it comes to things like this. When I was younger I always had the longest crushes on the prettiest girls in school and no one noticed or knew about them.

The only attention I'm getting from Catherine is the wrong attention. It seems that with every five words I say, I manage to say something to tick her off. It's like walking around with a time bomb in my hands that is triggered by my voice. Most of the time, I don't even mean to piss her off, I just want to give my opinion. It always ends up in a fight of some sort. I wish I could get Catherine's attention in another way, a good way.

Suddenly I look up; I swear I saw a little light bulb above my head. I am going to stop this once and for all. I almost run out of the locker room and make my way to my destination, nothing can stop me, not even Greg's delicious coffee.



Once again I was walking, no storming into my office, stamping my feet as loud as I could. Not to get attention, but to release my anger. Jezus that woman always managed to get under my skin and piss me off to no end. I wonder if she gets off on it, or that she just does it for the kick. I do have to admit that when we fight, the anger between the both of us can rise to such a point that it gives me a rush.

I'm a people person, meaning that I need people around me to feel good, and fortunately I am good with people. You know they say that some people are dog people because dogs always like them? Well that's sort of what I have with people in general. I say people in general because Sara does not fit in that group. I still wonder what she thinks when we fight; does she really think she can win? I mean, we've been fighting for almost six years now, and most of the time she ends up losing. Not because she isn't smart enough, but because I have superiority, something that comes in damn handy if I might add. I feel I'm entitled to use my seniority every once in a while, I worked hard to earn it. Sara Sidle is probably the only person in the whole Las Vegas Crime Lab that doesn't care that I have a higher rank than she does, it's kind of hot.

I slam the door and close the blinds, so everyone knows I am not available at the moment. I plump down on my chair and massage my temples. That woman….she is driving me crazy. I wonder why we fight so much; it's just those little things she says that tick me off. I don't like it that she can move me like she does. Maybe there is more between her and me. Everyone thinks I'm unmoved by the fights I have with my brunette co-worker, but that is not the truth. I might have been a bit harsh on her in the beginning, but no one liked her arrival. No, I really care about Sara Sidle.

Suddenly I look up. Goddammit that must be it! I hit my head against my desk, that's it. Those fights with Sara, they aren't just fights; we just blow up because there is tension between us. And it's not just normal tension; this is the pure, raw sexual kind of tension. Do I want Sara in that way? Would it resolve the tension? Do I want the tension to be resolved? Hmm I can see myself with Sara; I mean she is a gorgeous woman. I've been with women before, this is no biggie.

I look up as someone storms through my door.




I wonder who the hell is so blind, or suicidal, to run into my office like this. Since when are we abandoning the rule 'if the blinds are down, do not disturb'? I'm about to shred the perpetrator to pieces as I see who it is. Instead of tearing them down with my words, it looks like I am imitating a fish.


As soon as I enter Catherine's office, I know this is going to be a big mistake. When I see Catherine look up, I know she is going to tear me to pieces. But I'm ready for her this time, I'm all ready. This round is going to be mine. I look at the blonde Goddess in front of me, she seems speechless by my boldness of just barging into her office, I guess that's strike one for me.

"If you are here for the next round, I'm going to have to disappoint you Sidle. The door is over there, close it on your way out please," Catherine says, hoping Sara didn't notice that she was surprised.

"I'm not here to fight," Sara exclaims as she crosses her arms in front of her chest.

Catherine got up, Sara was daring her and who was she to not accept. "Then what are you doing here?" She said as she closed the distance between her and the brunette Goddess in front of her.

It certainly looked like Catherine had recovered from her surprise and was now daring Sara to surprise her again.

"Inviting you for breakfast," Sara said. She had never been so nervous in her life, but she was proud of herself for not showing it. With Catherine you couldn't show nerves, she would use it against you. No, with Catherine you had to be self-confident, radiate confidence and stand your ground.

"Is that your way of apologizing?" Catherine said, surprised again. She was trying to hide that she liked it, this idea of hers might actually go somewhere.

"I'm not apologizing for anything, I'm just asking you if you want to have breakfast with me," Sara said, not backing up. She had come this far and it was too late to go back.

Catherine took another step towards Sara; they were almost sharing the same air by now. "And why would you, Sara Sidle, want to invite me for breakfast?" she said, her tone huskier and lower than normal. This was a dangerous situation, Catherine was about to lose control. She was about to grab Sara and kiss her senseless.

"I think that maybe we should resolve this once and for all," Sara said, not backing down. She knew just what game Catherine was playing, a game she herself also had mastered in those six years around the blonde CSI.

"Resolve what?" Catherine said, leaning forward so Sara could feel the words on her skin.

Sara had to focus hard to keep her breathing in control. She was not going to give in, she had done that for six years, and now it was time for Catherine to give in for once. She smirked as she looked into Catherine's eyes; it was obvious they were after the same thing. Good thing Catherine had closed the blinds.

"Are we getting cocky, Sidle?" Catherine felt that Sara was not giving up. Maybe this time she should use a different technique.

"I wouldn't dare, Cath," Sara emphasised the blonde's name, knowing only friends, family and lovers could call her that, "I just want to resolve the tension between us."

At that moment Catherine grabbed Sara's neck and pulled the brunette towards her. The blonde's lips crashed into Sara's. Sara was totally blown off; she almost forgot to kiss back. Catherine's hands were moving down, making Sara gasp. Catherine used that moment to slip her tongue into Sara's mouth, exploring the brunette. As soon as she noticed that Sara had overcome the surprise and was starting to respond, she pulled back and smiled.

"Tension resolved," Catherine said as she made a move to leave.

Sara just stood there, gasping for air. Did that just happen or was she dreaming?

"Hey, Sidle, I'm waiting," she heard from the hallway.

Sara smiled and turned on her heels, Catherine had won this round again, but not without giving Sara something she had wanted for over six years.

The End

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