DISCLAIMER: The characters herein are used without permission. No infringement intended.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
SPOILERS: This is set after season 1 episode 8.
FEEDBACK: To north_h7@hotmail.com
Only Human
By North
Lauren sat in the dark, her knees drawn up to her chest, hugging them to her in a slim hope of comfort. She remembered everything. The first taste of Bo's lips, the feel of hands gripping her hair, holding her back after searing moments to be pierced by an intense dark stare "I don't want to hurt you." She heard Bo say. It lit Lauren's heart, chased away her doubts about what she was doing and the hidden reasons why over the ones that truly mattered to her – the reason in her heart. "I trust you." She told Bo and meant it. Meant it with all that she was and could ever be.
If only Bo could have trusted her.
Tears spilled over chilled cheeks as Lauren remembered the look of hurt, of betrayal, on Bo's face, thinking the only reason Lauren had gone to Bo's bed, into her arms, was because The Ash had ordered her to. Bo was right and was also wrong. The Ash had ordered Lauren to distract Bo, but Lauren did it because she wanted to save the other woman's life from the dangers the Fae held and the killer Bo had been so determined to confront. She had done it because of what she felt for Bo but never dared speak. Because Lauren was human. Lauren knew the rules. Humans couldn't fall in love with Fae and vice versa. Vex's heinous deeds, condoned by the Dark Fae, were proof of that. He had murdered a human and all the hybrid children, framing the Fae mother for daring to go against the rules of the Fae and love a human. And none of it mattered now. Vex had been let loose and sent to another district, far from Bo. Yet the betrayal Bo felt at Lauren's complicated loyalties meant that Lauren could never again share in that smile, see the light of those dark eyes or ever again feel the joy and belonging that one kiss held and one night had explored.
Bo told her that no one owns her, no one owns Lauren. Bo had been so wrong about that too. Lauren had failed Bo. The Ash felt Lauren had failed him and as Lauren sat in the dark cell the Fae had put her in, awaiting her punishment, for the Fae did not tolerate failure, she couldn't help but feel she deserved whatever nightmare they chose to visit upon her. Not because she had failed The Ash, but because of the pain she had caused Bo. Because she had failed the one person she loved. Because she knew the rules and she had broken them, not that her heart had given her any choice in the matter. After all, Lauren was only human.
It had been days, and still tears came and burned her eyes over the night of temptation at last tasted, desire no longer denied. Dyson had never shown such care, such tender emotion in his eyes or his touch. Lauren had been need and tenderness along with fire and passion. All Bo had dreamt of and more. Lauren had caused Bo to feel loved. But it had all been a lie. No one loved Bo. Not the way she wanted, and more importantly, not the way she needed.
She entered the Fae bar because she could think of nowhere else to go. Kenzi cared for her, but it wasn't the same. The dark succubus had craved trust and love and Lauren...the blonde woman with the husky voice seemed to be everything that Bo needed, wanted, and more until it was proven all a lie. Bo would never choose between the Dark and Light Fae. They had both tried to use her, both had betrayed her, and she raged at being helpless except for the power of choice, the power to say no and not side with either force. It left her alone, but when the other choice was to be owned, then alone it would always be. She had learned that the hard way.
Now if only she knew how to let go, let go of the memory of warm hands, ardent sighs, and her name said with a reverence no one, not Dyson, not anyone, except Lauren had ever uttered. Her spirit felt ravaged and all that was left was a sadness that a growing sense of emptiness threatened to try to swallow and a rage that sprang from despair.
A familiar hand slid a glass of something dark and sinful in front of her.
"Looks like you could use this." Trick said, owner of the only Fae bar and neutral ground for both sides and the only place Bo thought it safe to get a drink in her current mood.
"Thanks," she downed it in one smooth motion, burning her eyes so that she could pretend the tears were from strong alcohol and not a broken heart and dreams that lay in pieces inside her soul. Dreams a Fae, let alone a succubus, had no right to hold.
Concerned eyes caught hers. "Dyson isn't around, just thought I'd put you at ease."
"Thanks," she said again, taking the second glass and drinking it just as quickly. She had no desire to see him. He had betrayed her too, him and his unswerving fealty to the forces that were trying to own her, control her, and take away the humanity within her. The worst part is that she felt they had won on that last count. She felt less like a part of the world with every day and less like the person she had wanted to become.
"Guess word travels fast in the Fae community." It lacked her usual sardonic tones.
"Yeah, it can be hard, caught between two sides, two powerful sides." Trick cleaned a glass and hadn't yet offered her a third.
She pushed her empty glass meaningfully towards him, "Not you too. You're not going to try to coerce, bully, or seduce me into picking a side with either of those jerks are you?"
"Not likely." He snorted and refilled her glass, though not nearly as much as before. "Seducing a succubus is a quick way to get killed. And I built this place to be neutral ground, where sides don't matter, as much as it can be made not to matter. Sorry about Dr. Lewis, by the way."
She looked away, turned on the bar seat to survey the crowd and gave a half shrug, "What's to be sorry for? I got screwed; she almost got what she wanted. The Ash didn't. Trust no one. Live and learn."
"That too, but I meant about what they did to her."
She turned quickly at his words, only seeing his downed head as he studiously cleaned the bar, his shoulders drooping in pained reality. He wasn't lying. What had happened to Lauren?
"What are you talking about?"
He looked up, surprised. "The Ash punished her for failing to detain you. She defied him on top of that by refusing to reveal what ways she had been treating you to help you overcome your deadly feedings. He wanted all your secrets and she refused. The failure alone would have been reason enough to punish her under Fae law. She's only a human after all and he owns her ever since she went to him for protection. That's the cost. Humans don't thrive well among us. It's a hard lesson to see learned over and over again."
Bo tried to take it all in but it was a lot and it broke open the fresh wound Lauren had put there. "Back up. She's being hurt, tortured for what exactly?"
"For loving a Fae." He gave her a meaningful look. "She may have gone over to your place on order from the Ash, but he only gave her the push. Surely you could tell she wanted to be there, that she cared, that what she felt for you was real. And she's human. There are few greater crimes among the Fae than to love a human or for them to love one of us. That she defied him afterwards was what sealed it. The Ash's word is law. No one can help her now."
Bo stood, her leather and metal creaking and jangling. She needed to move. Lauren out of her life was painful enough, but Lauren hurt or possibly killed? It didn't matter what had happened between them, Lauren dead was not acceptable. Bo would tear down the entire Fae world if she had to stop that. She would worry about how Lauren truly felt about Bo later. Bo would make sure they both had a later. "We'll see about that."
Before she walked away she turned back to him. "Do you know what made her sell herself to the Ash for protection?"
His ageless eyes held the sorrow of generations. "She had been in love. A sorcerer, a human, loved the same woman. He killed her and went after Lauren. She saw her lover murdered in front of her, died in her arms, and then somehow survived his attack and made it to the door of The Ash. They needed a good medical doctor and The Ash was never one to waste a profitable opportunity."
"She lost the person she loved, saw her murdered in front of her and to the Fae, Lauren was just a commodity, an opportunity?" Bile rose sharp and acrid in her throat.
"The Ash had the sorcerer killed. She was only a human. Lauren was safe-"
"Enslaved." Bo corrected, her melodic voice turned harsh.
He gave a shrug that meant everything and nothing "It's the way the world is."
"But it's not the way it should be."
Bo walked out without looking back.
She was arming herself for war. Bo had found herself caught up short at first with Vex and he was only one Dark Fae. She would not make that mistake now. She strapped on the knives, the sword, slung the crossbow over her shoulder and adjusted the newly added Kevlar underneath the leather. Plus she added the gun complete with hollow points. Bullets might not stop the Fae but shrapnel riddling their bodies would surely slow them down. She hoped.
Kenzi entered the large bedroom, took a look around with her incredibly light eyes made even more startling with her black Goth makeup and black wig and simply said "Off to save Dr. Hot Pants?"
"Yep," Bo checked the gun and made sure a round was chambered before sliding it in its holster.
"Good."
Bo looked up at the firmness of the tone. Kenzi had never gotten along with the good doctor and had never made it a secret.
The young human gave a half-smile. "The gal loves ya Bo. She may have hopped into your bed for the wrong reasons but one of them wasn't – she's been goofy on you since day one and you know it." She rolled her eyes, "And at least with her I won't have to worry about you going all Fae elitist – down with the humans kind of thing."
Kitted up, Bo carefully sat on her bed and laced up her boots, frowning. "You really worried about me thinking humans are less than Fae? I thought I was human until a few months ago, remember?"
"Yeah, but even with Dyson I get this whole 'the Fae are genetically superior' thing. You wouldn't get that with Dr. Hot Pants."
"Lauren," Bo corrected automatically. She stood up and looked at her only friend. She smiled. Bo couldn't help but smile at the effervescent young woman who had stayed by her side no matter what. "You keep out of trouble okay? If I'm not back in three hours, ditch this place and lay low."
"Gotcha. You look seriously bad ass. Just promise me you will come back, 'kay?" The last word held a fragility the tough street bred woman rarely showed.
"I promise." Bo lied, knowing she couldn't promise anything of the sort and knowing just as surely that Kenzi knew it too. They hugged awkwardly due to all of Bo's deadly accessories, but they both held on hard.
"Go, Bo, Fae Champion for us Human Underlings." Kenzi said half-heartedly due to fear of losing Bo, but with her heart nevertheless.
Bo held her at arm's length, taking a good look at her friend and smiling to reassure her. "Hey, anyone call you an underling, you kick them in the gonads for me will ya?"
The Goth girl cracked a grin. "You know me too well, consider it done. You give 'em Hell grrrl. Now scoot and save yer lady!" She turned Bo around and ushered her out with a slap to the behind. They shared a laugh before Bo was out in the cold and put her game face on, but this time it wasn't a game, it was war, and Bo had no intention of losing. She had already lost too much.
She headed straight to The Ash's compound. It was all so clear now, Lauren's jealousy over Dyson and maybe fear too, of history repeating itself. And how could it not with Lauren owned by The Ash and Dyson aligned with the Light Fae, Bo a Fae and Lauren the human caught in the middle of it all. Lauren would have been afraid of losing Bo the way she had lost love before, dying in her arms because of an inhumanly powerful man. Dyson was no more human than Bo, but unlike him, Bo had believed herself to be human until that one murder of a would-be date rapist had alerted the Fae to Bo's presence and they had invaded her world and brought her to Lauren. She would rather have heard the past from Lauren. Even if she hadn't found out, Bo admitted she'd still be running to the rescue. But what she had learned in only a few minutes explained so much; why Lauren had been so timid yet protective. Bo could sense desire, could see it and had always known from their first meeting how much Lauren felt towards Bo, but Bo couldn't believe, couldn't trust, and when she did it hadn't been enough, not enough to listen or understand. And now it might be too late. Too late to save the one person who had dared to love her while others hid their feelings away completely, shut Bo off, turned her down. Lauren hadn't. Lauren cared. She had tried to protect Bo, to save her. Even though it came out all wrong it was what Lauren had tried to do, a lone human against the wishes of the Fae world for a single Fae who wouldn't choose sides. Lauren who had done her best while caught up in a deadly game of chess with Bo as the prize and Lauren put dead centre in the target zone.
The guard at the front gate never stood a chance.
Bo simply seized the large man and kissed him, using her succubus powers, feeling her eyes glow an eerie blue like they did whenever she fed like this. Her body filled with energy, increasing her already super human strength. She didn't kill the Fae, but he wouldn't be waking up anytime soon. The two at the door were just as easy to take down. In her fury she had knocked one out with a high kick to the head and the other she vamped with her powers and dispatched almost as quickly. She marched right up to the front door, kicked the doors open wide and stepped through, gun in one hand while her other hand held the special Fae artefact. Immediately the weapon made out of a unicorn's horn unfolded into a metal gauntlet and a long, sharp two-pronged blade slid out of nothingness. Magic. Fae. Hers.
"Knock, knock." She called out.
"You are a brash chylde," came The Ash's deep, raspy voice. He stood at the top of the stairs and calmly made his way down. As always he was impeccably dressed, this time in a three piece suit, the colour off white to accentuate his dark skin. "Vex is outside our territory. It is a dead issue so your show of force here means nothing."
How arrogant, how dismissive. "I'm not here for Vex."
He raised a black brow, honestly surprised. "Then why did you barge in here in such a rude manner?"
Unbelievable, her rage rose, filling her eyes with blue fire. "Lauren." She bit the name off like a warning.
"The human doctor?" He remained where he stopped, two steps from the landing. "You're here for a mere human?"
"For your sake, that mere human had better still be alive."
"The human woman is mine." He spread his hands. "I can do with her as I wish."
She stepped forward, levelled the gun and the blade at him. "No one owns Lauren."
"You are a disrespectful girl. When I learned of the human's audacity, I had her punished. I had no idea you returned her ...feelings." He nearly growled the last word.
"Yeah, feelings, they can be a bitch." She levelled the magical blade at him meaningfully. "Tell me where Lauren is, she's coming with me. She repaid her debt to you ten times over already. She owes you nothing."
Bo watched the Machiavellian mind of The Ash working, his dark eyes gleaming. "It is taboo for a Fae to love a human in our world."
"I'm not part of your world remember? I chose the humans over both Light and Dark Fae, and from what I've been seeing? I made the right choice."
Out of the corner of her eyes she saw the reinforcements coming. The Ash held his hand and they stopped as if he pulled their strings.
"You are young and foolish. And perhaps, having not chosen a side...yet, I might be persuaded to release my hold on the human and give her to you."
"Out of your good nature?" She sneered.
"Perhaps." He examined his nails and then regarded her, acting as if he had forever on his side. For all Bo knew, he was eternal. "Perhaps I would do this out of my magnanimous nature and since you have yet to choose sides, not have to enforce one of our strictest rules."
"In exchange for what? I won't let you own me. I won't trade one freedom for another." She would kill them all to stay free and try to save Lauren, but it would mean nothing if she let herself be owned in turn. She had asked Lauren what person would want to be with Bo were she to allow someone else to take away her choices. At the time she hadn't recognized the look in Lauren's eyes at those words, but Bo now knew what it had been – hope. She would not disappoint Lauren now.
"For good will." He stepped down that last step, utterly unafraid except for the cautious steering to the other side of the unicorn blade. "Perhaps we have misjudged how important the humans are to our hiding among them and those few who work unde – with us here. You could be a link for us Bo, a bridge between Human and Fae."
"More like a watchdog." She had been spending enough time to begin to grasp how the Fae thought. He would give Bo Lauren, not because of good will, but because Lauren was nothing to him now yet still useful to appear merciful to Bo for when The Ash thought Bo would have to choose a side. What he didn't grasp is that she had already chosen her side, the one he never considered and it had nothing to do with Light or Dark Fae, only a single human woman.
"So you'll just give her to me?" She couldn't keep the scepticism out of her voice.
"One of my people are bringing her to you now." He replied arrogantly.
Dyson, of course it would be Dyson, always having to appear the stoic hero, carried the unconscious and battered form of Lauren from the far left archway. Keeping her peripheral on the others, she lowered her weapons but didn't put them away. One look told her how badly Lauren had been hurt. The woman had been cleaned up but the bruising and swelling were visible even from where Bo stood, as were the bloodstains on her clothes.
Before she could ask, Dyson answered. "By order of The Ash I'm to escort you two back to your home safely where the human will be in your care."
The cold look in his blue eyes said it all, despite how much he might feel for Bo, to him Lauren was still only human, beneath him. That he could allow any innocent person to be treated that way, human or Fae, and do nothing meant he had never understood Bo at all.
"Fine." She carefully regarded The Ash. "Your word that Lauren is no longer yours? That she belongs only to herself and no repercussions by you, in any way, will be visited upon her or mine?"
The Ash gave a single nod, raised his hands to those around him. "Let all be a witness that I, The Ash, have relinquished my ownership of the human Lauren Lewis and that no harm by me or mine will be visited upon the human or Bo or hers, in any way, shape, or form. So let it be witnessed, as above so below."
"So mote it be." Came the chorus of voices from the Fae around them.
Huh, thought Bo, maybe she was getting the hang of this Fae thing after all. She put away the gun but didn't do the same with the magical sword.
"This way," Dyson said and she followed him out, watching her back the whole way.
It was hours into the torture that Lauren had withdrawn. She knew the disassociation was her mind's way of protecting her, of keeping her sane or some semblance thereof. She had held on during the beating, then the dark woman with flaming hands, a fire efreet. But it was the elemental whose hands became electrical arcs that had her scream and then pass out. Since then it was a flood of agony with periods of darkness and odd bouts of a floating semi-consciousness complete with vicious dreams.
She went in and out of a nightmarish realm where Kathy lay dead in her arms, sometimes it was Bo and The Ash or Dyson with Bo's blood on their hands laughing at Lauren's loss. The worst was when it was Bo lying dead at Lauren's feet and a bloody knife was in Lauren's pale hand.
Lately though an odd solace would find her. When the nightmares were at their worst and she felt her body convulse and hear herself cry out, she felt the impossible – warm arms encircling her, a touch gentle and tender that she knew and a voice from beyond the haze of pain and fear that could not be and yet she heard Bo's voice. I'm here. You're safe. Everything will be okay now. Don't leave me Lauren, please don't leave me. I'm here.
Impossible for Bo to be here, to be comforting Lauren. Not after Lauren's betrayal. Bo would never forgive her. It was better this way. Better for Bo and what Lauren deserved except... that voice continued. Instead of a cold floor, Lauren was held in warm arms. Instead of harsh blows she felt the lightest of touches smoothing back her hair. Instead of the harsh smell of blood and vomit was the scent of warm skin and leather – Bo's scent.
Lauren's analytical mind couldn't ignore the slow increments of increased awareness as she woke. Nor could her heart ignore the feel of hot rain falling on her face – tears. Impossible but when she opened her eyes to the semi shade of a room she recognized as Bo's bedroom, her throat tightened. When Bo's anxious face came into view with tear filled dark eyes and long silky dark hair hanging loose around nearly bare shoulders, Lauren tried to smile from where she was half reclined against what felt like a mountain of pillows. Surely she must have died or finally reached a state where the pain could no longer reach her because this could not be true.
"Hey," Bo's melodic voice fell like a caress to Lauren's ears. "You gonna stop looking at me like I'm not real and try to take a sip of this? Please?"
Lauren frowned and only then refocused to see the glass with a straw approaching her lips. She obediently took a sip. It was water. Once the first sip was down she realized how thirsty she was.
"Easy now," Bo smiled at her, only taking the water away after Lauren released the straw. The succubus put it on the side table. "You've had a hard few days."
"How many?" Lauren tried to focus on facts.
"Three days in The Ash's not so tender mercies. Two days here." The entire time Bo never stopped fussing, whether it was fixing sheets over Lauren or touching Lauren's face, putting a strand of thick blonde hair behind an ear.
"You're acting anxious. Do I look that bad?" Her voice was bit thready but she could speak despite the tightness in her throat, the vice like squeeze in her chest at the sight of Bo.
A half snort was her answer along with a wane and crooked smile. Bo reached over for a hand mirror. "Take a look for yourself. Trick gave us some kind of supped up healing potion. He seems to have an answer for everything. Almost."
She was surprised at the face in the mirror. She stared at the reflection as Bo held the mirror for her and fell back into doctor mode. She noted the pale skin and red marks along one side of her jaw as if a fading burn could be seen. But no scar. Lauren recalled biting down on her lip in pain at one point, enough to split it, but her mouth looked untouched. Although there were some other marks along her face where bruising had been, there were simply mild off-hue tints denoting the passing of bruises almost completely healed even though it had only been two days.
She was sure that her body appeared the same as she wiggled toes and slightly shifted her limbs not registering any pain, none at all. Tears of relief stung her eyes but did not fall. It took her two swallows to regain her composure and speak, "I'll have to thank Trick if I ever see him again." Then recollection hit her and her hand went, afraid, to her throat where the pendant had always lain.
A reassuring hand covered hers as Bo set aside the mirror. "It's gone. You're not his anymore Lauren."
Again the impossible. She hunted for what to say, what to ask, but only managed "How?" Then new fear hit and she sat up straighter, reaching for Bo out of reflex, searching her face. "You didn't give him anything did you? You're not beholden to him?"
Bo rubbed Lauren's arms and shoulders. "No, no, I didn't give him anything. I threatened him. He basically laughed at me." She explained with a wry twist of her mouth. "And then he made surrendering you into a grand gesture to me and told me I was a bridge."
"A bridge?" she had to choke back a hysterical laugh while she studied Bo's dark eyes, looking for any sign that the succubus was lying to protect Lauren.
"Whatever." Bo rolled her eyes.
"You weren't hurt." It was more a question than a statement.
"No, or at least not physically." Bo glanced down, sighing, then looked back up, moving closer to where she sat leaning near Lauren on the bed. "I was...devastated when I thought you had only come to my bed because he had told you to."
Now Lauren's eyes dropped to study the nonexistent pattern on the sheets under her hands. "I know."
"Was that the only reason you were in my bed Lauren?"
"N-no, of course not." She hated the weakness in her voice, the stammer Bo brought out of her.
"Tell me why," a hand tipped Lauren's chin up to meet steady brown eyes, intent on the doctor's answer.
"I-I can't," she tried to will Bo to understand the obvious.
Hands caught her fidgeting ones. "The Ash doesn't own you anymore and no one owns me. Not now, not ever. You can choose Lauren. You can choose the life you want. With the person you want. Do you want me?"
Hope was a fragile piece of glass within her. "I've wanted you since we first met." She took in a deep breath and said what she needed to, "But I'd rather you be safe."
"You'd rather I be safe, than you be happy." Dark eyes studied her with hidden knowledge.
"Yes," Lauren almost sagged in relief, Bo did understand.
"That sounds a lot like love," Bo's voice came soft, almost pleading.
Lauren turned her hands in Bo's holding, squeezing them back tenderly without saying a word.
The Fae turned the full power of her intense and compelling personality on Lauren. "I need to hear you say it."
"I'm so wrong for you, too weak. I –"
"No," now angry, Bo would not be deterred, she took Lauren's face in her hands and claimed the other woman in a way no one else could, medallion and Fae debts or anything else. With one kiss, demanding, tender and giving all at once, Lauren's attempts at hiding were defeated and she took Bo in her arms, returning the kiss with a need so deep, so intense, it almost hurt.
When they broke apart, Bo looked at her, mouth slightly open to catch her breath, a smile playing about sensuous lips. "You kiss me like no one has ever kissed me Lauren."
"You're like air," a shaky hand reached out to trace Bo's face, "I need you to breathe."
Bo's eyes closed, her forehead leaned to rest against Lauren's. "Tell me", Bo breathed.
"I love you Bo."
Wonders of wonders, the world didn't end, disaster didn't ensue, and all the fears that had plagued Lauren dispersed under the brilliance of Bo's delighted smile, of warm brown eyes overflowing with joy.
Lauren regarded the woman before her in awe. "You've had people tell you they love you before."
Bo's smile trembled with emotion, a tear spilled over perfect skin. "People under my thrall. Never anyone who meant it. Never from anyone who really knew me. From someone who would risk their own life to save me even while they thought I hated them. "
They kissed again, slower this time. "I love you Lauren."
A succubus, a person, who wanted nothing more than to be truly loved, Lauren smiled, touched to the very core of her soul. She gave in, holding nothing back as she and Bo embraced, letting herself be free. At last. After all, she was only human.
The End