DISCLAIMER: I only borrowed them for a while. MGM and whoever can have them back whenever they want.
SERIES: The seventeenth in a series of vignettes from those close to Sam/Janet.
SPOILERS: Set during the Season 2 episode "Message in a Bottle"
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author

Outside Looking In:
Graham Simmons

By Celievamp

When I thought I was dying she sat by my bed a while. I knew that she knew I liked her. And by then I knew I didn't have a chance. Oops, as Dr Jackson might say.

Tetracycline stopped the pathogen in its tracks, Dr Fraiser had figured. But I was allergic to the tetracycline. So the pathogen colonized me. My veins glowed blue in the UV light. I could feel it traveling through my body. It was almost worth dying though to have Sam Carter finally notice that I was alive.

I mean I was a lucky guy. I got to work with her most days she was on base, helping her with her experiments. And she didn't trust just anyone you know. She didn't demand. She just expected. If you couldn't match her standards, her stamina, her sheer brilliance well. There was lab upon lab down in the depths filled with scientists who had not managed that. But they all worship her you know. Their paragon, their goddess of science.

They come and go and I stay. I don't try to keep up with her, I just try to anticipate what she's likely to need and try to have it ready for her whether it's a fresh cup of coffee or an electron microscope analysis of the latest mystery they've brought through the Gate. I think most of the time it doesn't register with her that I'm there. She's just got used to having me around. Indispensable, invisible me.

She registers though. Dr Fraiser. It's like there's an extra part of her that comes alive when the Doc walks in the room. Which she does quite often. And Captain Carter just drops whatever she's doing. Her eyes never leave the Doc's face. It's as if she's drinking her in, storing her up inside to tide her over until the next time they see each other. And the Doc, she's doing the same.

Whatever it is between them it's mutual. The Captain, she's a goddess. Most guys - me included - aren't worthy to shine her boots. But the Doc. the Doc might just be the one for her. She matches her, complements her. Watching them work on something together is awesome. The energy, the ideas they generate off each other. You believe anything is possible. Even a cure for this thing that's killing me.

So Captain Carter's sitting by my bed and she's telling me to hang on, that they'll find a solution. And I believe her. With all my heart and soul. And for a second she smiles at me. She sees me. Then the Doc is by her side and suddenly I'm invisible again. But its okay. Together they can beat this. They can save the day. Save me. And I will go back to being my indispensable, invisible self. Showing my love for her the only way I can.

The End

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