DISCLAIMER: I only borrowed them for a while. MGM and whoever can have them back whenever they want.
SERIES: The seventh in a series of vignettes from those close to Sam/Janet.
SPOILERS: None really. Set after Fragile Balance.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author

Outside Looking In:
Jack and John

By Celievamp

I must admit I didn't know what to think when Sam Carter walked into the briefing room and he was a she. And what a she. I'm not blind. And then I found out that she was a scientist. D'oh!

I hadn't a clue.

But she proved herself that first mission keeping her head when all hell broke lose around us.

I remember the first time she saved the world.

I've lost count of the number of times she's saved me.

Edora. I treat her so badly. I saw the looks everyone gave me. Then I had to go darkside to catch Maybourne's team and I hurt her again by not trusting her – even if I was under orders.

She likes me. I know she likes me. She laughs at my jokes, she backs my plays. And even if I am her superior officer (in rank if in nothing else) she will still tell me to my face when I am wrong.

It would be very easy to be in love with her but harder to have a relationship with her. The sex would be awesome but outside of that… what do we have in common?

Not that I appear to have any competition. I keep trying to explain to her what having fun means – usually when I make my biannual `come fishing with me' invite and she just looks at me as if I'm the village idiot.

She hangs out with the Doc a lot but then they're about the only women here most of the time and the Doc took in Cassie when Carter wasn't allowed to. Doc's good for her. Not that I'd ever say anything like that to her.

The Doc and I have issues. She thinks I push Carter too hard, expect too much of her. I keep trying to tell her I expect no more than Carter's already given but she's a hard woman to argue with. A deadly combination of doe eyes and big honkin' needles. Still she's kept this decrepit bag of bones in active service for seven years longer than anyone thought would happen so she must be doing something right.

Bit of an enigma though. Never quite know where I stand with her. Sometimes I think she almost likes me. Sometimes.


I can't believe I never saw it before. I know I'm fifteen and I've got more hormones charging through me than is medically advisable but I know I didn't imagine what I saw. They both thought I was asleep. I was pretending, trying desperately to hold it together. I mean I'm fifteen all over again. I have a one track mind and a one track body. A fifteen year old body that thinks all its Christmasses have come at once.

Okay so I may be having one or two Mrs Robinson moments but they're hot… really really hot.

And neither of them are in my chain of command. So boo sucks to you Jack O'Neill.

And when they momentarily forget who and what I am they think I'm kinda cute. I can tell.

The thing is I have all of Jack O'Neill's memories in my head so I know what it feels like to kiss Sam Carter, how small and soft the Doc's hands are as she checks your injuries. And I have a lot of time on my hands so those memories are very precious to me.

I don't know why I see things that he doesn't. Old age perhaps. Selective blindness – he sees only what he wants to see. But the first time I saw Doc and Carter together I knew. They were getting it on, the pair of them, right under the noses of everyone. And by how comfortable they were in each other's space it had been going on for some time, years probably. And all I could think was a) cool and b) I wonder if they'd let me watch.

Father McGuire was right: I'm gonna go to hell.

The End

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