DISCLAIMER: Lost Girls and its characters are the property of Showcase. No infringement intended.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Part one of two, the follow-up will be called Sensations. Glad you lot are still reading, and always, Pandora007, for her inspirations, patience and for keeping me on my toes, among many other things. :)
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
FEEDBACK: To nerocorvo[at]gmail.com
By The Raven
Bo was an angry succubus as she stalked the confines of her home, even Kenzi had decided to stay out of her way for a change, smart girl.
Coming to her bedroom, Bo glanced at her bed and remembered back to less than twenty-four hours ago. Lauren had come to her, seduced her, made love with her and all on the orders of The Ash. Curse that Fae.
Angrily, Bo reached for her mattress and heaved it up, crashing it against the wall, bringing down a rain of objects, spent candles and other junk before the mattress settled onto the floor in a satisfying heap. Bo smiled bitterly before she marched over to her closet and proceeded to changer clothes.
Black leather and black silk and her favourite pair of steel toed boots, the silver coloured metal tips of them glinting angrily in the dim light. Weapons, wallet, phone and she was ready to face the streets and woe betide the one who presumed to get in her way today.
She would kill, consequences be damned.
"Stay out of trouble." Bo murmured to Kenzi as she walked through the living room and headed towards the front door, not looking back as she stepped out into the night.
Today Bo was in a killing mood and she wanted answers.
Everyone was lying to her, everyone that is except Kenzi and herself.
Dyson was lying, Trick was lying, The Ash probably never told the truth about anything and Lauren was full of shit.
Screw them all.
Bo would see about starting with Lauren and unless she got the answers she wanted there was going to be hell to pay.
She would not be made, forced, or distracted into taking sides. Not this time, and not ever. Never. She was her own woman and anyone who suggested that she was anything else was going to end up with their internal organs rearranged, fuck.
Had it really only been a day since she had kissed Lauren, since they had touched? How had so much gone wrong in such a short period of time? Why was no one giving her straight answers.
In her heart of hearts, Bo knew that Lauren was probably the one who was giving her the most straight answers, but that did not mitigate the betrayal that the other woman had bestowed onto her. Not in any way, it just meant that Lauren did not have a personal agenda when it came to Bo and whoever she was.
Bo did not want to be anyone, she wanted to be herself. Not Light Fae, not Dark Fae; she simply wanted to be Bo, with the funny off sidekick Kenzi and she wanted Lauren in her bed and in her life, but now Bo was really uncertain that such a thing would, or even could happen.
How did one forgive this sort of betrayal?
A drunk made the mistake of grabbing at Bo as she stalked down the sidewalk, he paid for his indiscretion with a broken wrist and Bo almost snarled in satisfaction as she felt the delicate bones crunch under her hand. "You should be careful what you grab, next time you might lose some fingers." Bo hissed as she turned away to continue on her journey.
Where was she going?
She did not want to talk with Dyson, every time she did she got the impression that he was making territory around her. Trick, seemed to be nice enough but Bo knew that he was also hiding something and right now Bo had so much disgust towards the Dark Fae that she was prepared to kill the next one who crossed her, consequences be damned.
Lauren it was, then.
Lauren jumped as the door of her lab was pushed open. She had not been expecting any visitors and she did not have any appointments. Rather, she had been wallowing in her own misery and despite the apparently fascinating view of the insides of one of her microscopes, she really had achieved nothing since she had arrived at work in the morning.
"Bo." Lauren breathed as she recognised the black-clad succubus.
Fuck her life.
Bo said nothing, rather the other woman stalked around the lab for a few moments as if to confirm that they were alone and then Bo pointedly went to the door and locked it before turning to Lauren. "I want answers." Bo said, her voice tight and hard and Lauren mourned the loss of what they had been.
"And if I don't have them?" Lauren offered, wondering what she should do now.
It's not as if she had any easy answers or power, or that she really knew much at all. She was simply caught between a rock and a Fae place.
"Well, you know what they say: Jesus might not have all the answers, but Google does." Bo murmured, showing a glimpse of the humour that Lauren had grown to love.
Lauren did not have time though to process that thought before Bo came closer and her senses were overwhelmed by the sensory overload of what had happened the night before. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath in order to pretend to calm herself, but of course it did not work, at all.
"No." Bo said, apropos of nothing.
"I beg your pardon?" Lauren blinked in confusion.
"No, you don't get to have those memories without the knowledge that you blew it." Bo breathed, coming to a stop in front of Lauren so that their bodies were flush together and Lauren could feel the transfer of power from Bo to herself.
"What are you doing?" Lauren asked as supernaturally charged arousal flooded her body.
Not that she needed any persuading, she wanted Bo. It was clear as the nose on her face. "Nothing." Bo replied, licking lips that only hours before had driven Lauren to heights that she had been unaware that she could get to.
She moaned, unable to help herself and with her self control obliterated by the power that Bo exuded.
"You blew it." Bo said, leaning close and brushed those voluptuous lips along Lauren's neck.
At that moment, there was nothing Lauren would not have given to go back in time just a few hours and undo the mistakes that were now permanently etched in the relationship that she and Bo had.
"I'm sorry." Lauren said, and she meant it.
She meant it with all that she was and every would be and all that she had ever been.
Lauren was pretty sure that she had never been so sorry for anything before in her life, actually.
"I know you are." Bo offered, more softly this time and Lauren heard a hint of something that she could not name in the other woman's voice.
"Why did The Ash want me distracted?" Bo asked and abruptly stepped back, a warning flashing in dark brown eyes.
Lauren took a deep breath as she fought sensory overload, years of conditioning, her own feelings and Bo's hurt. This was the precipice that she had always known that she would be standing on one day.
She needed to make a choice now, but what an impossible choice to make.
What did she do now?
How could she decide this?
"You would have been killed if you had killed Vex." Lauren stated simply.
Bo canted her head at Lauren's statement. "And The Ash was concerned for my personal safety?" She inquired, finding the whole concept to be remarkably fantastic.
She knew that The Ash would have her killed if she got in his way, that much was clear but why had he sent Lauren to distract her.
The thought stung, even as she mentally articulated it. To have learned that what for her, were special hours of intimacy where she had exposed herself very significantly, had simply been akin to an errand that Lauren had done for The Ash had stung her deeply.
"No." Bo blinked at Lauren's reply.
Honesty for a change?
"I was not expecting that answer." Bo said and stepped back slightly, giving Lauren some space to breathe.
Despite herself, Bo could feel her body reacting to Lauren. She wanted the blonde doctor, and now that she had sipped from the forbidden cup, she would hunger for another drink and then another. Nothing except that would slack her thirst ever again and Bo did not know if she could, or would ever again be able to drink.
"I was not lying when I told you I was trying to protect you." Lauren offered, downcast.
"I can protect myself." Bo countered, taking a deep breath to steady herself as heady memories threatened to melt her resolve before continuing.
"We made love, Lauren. Do you understand that? For the first time in my life I made love with someone, versus fucked them like an animal, or had sex with them for the sake of getting my rocks off or feeding or whatever. We. Made. Love." Bo felt the words torn from her throat even as her anger at Lauren melted into desire.
That would not do, not at all.
She did not want to relinquish her anger. She could not. She wanted and she needed to be angry at Lauren. Now was not the time to go all soft, just because she had carnal knowledge of the other woman. Even though that carnal knowledge was truly extraordinary.
"There are too many of them, Bo. You can't protect yourself against all of them, on both sides." Lauren said steadily after a moment had passed. "You can't." Lauren added in emphasis.
"I have to. The only people I really care about are not Fae. I am not going to pick a side when it means I can't choose humans as a consequence. Why can't anyone understand that?" Bo huffed angrily and slapped the counter next to Lauren's microscope.
"I understand it, but you can't change how things are." Lauren whispered and Bo could hear true pain in the doctor's voice.
"Why did you seduce me?" Bo demanded, wanting to know the answers to her more pressing questions and not wanting to engage the idea that she could not change the status-quo and make room in the middle between the two warring sides.
And what exactly were they warring over anyway? Same things as humans did and yet the Fae considered themselves to be so much better than humans. Pathetic.
"Well?" Bo pressed firmly, demanding answers and wanting them now not later..
"Do you have any idea what you did? How much you hurt me? Did you really think I am all about sex and nothing else matters to me? You mattered to me, making love with you mattered, and yet you dumped a pile of garbage onto that and treated me like crap and for what? For what? Why did you seduce me? Tell me!" Bo was almost shouting now, even as she felt the emotions of desire and anger warring inside of her, wrestling for control of her.
There was no way that Lauren was going to be able to get away from answering this question, she wanted answers and she was going to get them, come hell or high water and it was just as simple as that.
"I wanted to, from the moment I saw you." Lauren replied, sounding resolute.
"And I told you I wanted to wait." Bo countered.
"For what? For the perfect time? There is no perfect time for anything, there is just time to do things, that's all, Bo." Lauren said instantly and Bo noted that a note of anger had crept into the other woman's voice.
"The Ash told you to distract me. What are you, his bitch or something? Is he your pimp?" Bo fumed in reaction, finally making the accusation and combining it with the question that had been eating at her for almost a day now.
She almost saw it, but too late to dodge. Lauren's hand connected with her face and Bo snapped her head back in protective reaction and shock. Snatching the offending hand Bo pulled Lauren forward. "What's the matter, did I hit a nerve?" Bo demanded, breathing heavy as her face stung from Lauren's slap.
A very well deserved slap.
"I may be a lot of things, Bo, but I am also my own person. You do not know me well enough to make a conclusion like that. How dare you?" Lauren pulled on the limb that Bo held captive.
The action brought them together and Bo moaned openly at the hard contact of their bodies as her nerves and mind and soul reacted to entrenched, intensely erotic memories that would not stop.
"I should hate you." Bo breathed, her lips only inches from Lauren's.
The temptation was unbearable.
Bo gave in.
The kiss was hard, violent, soft and delicious. It tastes of the midday sun and as Lauren's teeth clashed against her own, the feint taste of blood joined the kiss as Bo felt herself being pulled inside out by sensation.
Strong fingers dug into her arms as Lauren pulled them even tighter together and Bo knew that if they did not stop now, there would be no stopping at all, not now anyway and she was still furious and hurt and suspicious and angry and she should hate Lauren.
She should do a lot of things, but right now her only thoughts were focused on this kiss and how it was so erotic and so anguished that Bo was overwhelmed completely.
Pressing Lauren into the counter behind them Bo ripped open the lab coat that the other woman wore, hearing a button land somewhere in a far corner as she did. The blouse that Lauren did not fair any better and Bo did not care, nor did she bother with any foreplay as she broke the zipper of Lauren's pants.
A hard bite on the side of her neck was her reward for that act and Bo felt her bones turn to water as she sagged against her lover. Bo lifted her head and kissed Lauren again, harder, possessively and angrily as she insinuated her hand into the waist of snugly fitting slacks and a moment later felt her hand engulfed by an impossible amount of wetness.
"Fuck." Bo gasped out.
"Please." Lauren moaned shamelessly.
It was akin to pouring gasoline onto a bonfire and Bo could feel herself lose control of her hunger. Tearing her mouth away from Lauren's, Bo bit down on the shoulder that she had exposed when tearing the other woman's blouse, driving her hand into Lauren and drawing out a series of strangled gasps as orgasm overwhelmed the blonde.
Gasping, Bo could feel her own arousal burn at fever pitch as Lauren calmed down and suddenly Bo felt angry with herself.
How had she lost control?
How had this happened?
What the hell?
"No." Lauren said firmly when Bo started to pull away. "Not like this." Lauren added when Bo looked at her in confusion.
Lauren took advantage of that confusion to reverse their positions. "You can run away later, but right now you're staying here." She stated. "Look at me." Lauren demanded, grabbing Bo's face and turning it so that Bo was forced to look at her.
"I know you're angry and you have every right to be but whatever it is you think of me, I can almost guarantee that you are wrong." Lauren murmured, barely coherent as the aftershocks of one of the most powerful orgasms of her life shook her still.
Bo looked wild and untamed and Lauren wanted to ravish her but she also realised that Bo was losing control so she would need to be careful. Bo might be able to forgive her someday for what she had done yesterday, but Lauren was pretty sure that Bo would not get over killing her.
"But..." Bo began and Lauren silenced her with a kiss. "No buts." She insisted and used the opportunity to open the skin tight leather pants that Bo was wearing.
The only sound now was Bo's harsh breathing; at least the other woman was not resisting anymore, which was a good thing. Lauren would have Bo, maybe Bo would leave here tonight and never speak to her again, but right now, Lauren was going to have Bo and damn the consequences.
Lauren pushed aside the parts, running her sensitive fingers along the lace of the panties that the succubus was wearing. She wanted a bed, she wanted soft sheets, she wanted a do-over of last night, only without the fumbling fuck-up that had happened afterwards.
However, she only had right now. "You're beautiful." Lauren murmured to Bo as she dropped to her knees and eased the soft leather down perfect legs.
Bo did not say anything, but there was no need for words. Not right now anyway.
When the pants had gone down far enough, Lauren leaned forward and kissed Bo intimately, revelling in the arousal and heat that she found. Hands entwined into her hair and for long, delicious moments there was nothing except the trembling of Bo's legs and the taste of heat and passion and then Bo was coming.
"Fuck." She heard from above and then Bo moaned, pushing against Lauren's mouth and the grip in her hair was almost painful for long endless perfect moments an then Bo stilled.
There was a long silence and then Bo gripped Lauren and pulled her up to her feet. "I did not come here for this." Bo stated, sounding sexy, angry and confused.
It was heartbreaking. "I was not expecting this either." Lauren replied, wiping the back of her hand a bit indelicately across her mouth.
Bo nodded and Lauren noticed the beautiful face that she had come to know and love close off completely as Bo pulled herself together. "I need to go." Bo said after a few more moments and Lauren could feel the other woman withdraw into herself completely.
Lauren began to realise at last how much she had truly hurt the beautiful succubus as she saw the masks fall. It cut into her when she realised that she had gotten to the other side of the mask and now had been cast out again.
Would she ever be able to repair this? The hurt in Bo's voice rang clear in her ears. almost obliterating the sounds of pleasure from just a few minutes ago and certainly colouring the beautiful memories of yesterday with pain.
She had done this to Bo, and for what?
A few heartbeats later Lauren was left alone and in tatters in her lab, both literally and figuratively.
She needed to change, she needed to think, she needed Bo and she needed a new life. Or something. No sooner had she finished that thought though, when the door to her lab burst open again and Bo stalked into the space once more and without pause walked right up and kissed her.
The kiss was not violent, or angry this time; it was sad. Almost like it was a kiss goodbye and Lauren could not stand it, even as she savoured it and felt it in every bone and nerve and muscle of her body.
"We still need to talk." Bo said simply when they came up for air and Lauren could only nod in agreement as she clung to the straw that perhaps there was something to salvage from this disaster after all.
Again ensconced by the silence and quiet of her lab, Lauren walked over to the lockers and started to change her clothes and make herself presentable again. There was no telling what was going to happen next and her day was far from over with in any case.
Lauren could not help herself though. She wanted to chase after Bo and she wanted to talk with the succubus right now. She wanted so much more than what they had, she wanted Bo, the person, the woman, the lover and the friend.
A ripped blouse and lab coat were easy to repair, less so the just-fucked look on her face and despite combing her hair carefully, she really did have just-fucked hair as well.
It was going to be impossible however, to fix her aching heart.
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