DISCLAIMER: Law & Order: Special Victims Unit and all characters are
property of NBC and Dick Wolf.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I love the fifth. I live in Australia so I can't use it. But I believe that Americanisation of the galaxy is spreading faster then we thought. Soon we will have the fifth to plead upon.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
Plead the Fifth
Once again I was at 'our' table at the bar we drank at on a Friday night. Everyone was here. Elliot and Kathy, Munch, Fin and his date Sue, and Alex. All were tipsy or beyond. Ok, I was tipsy, everyone else was beyond. Except maybe Alex. She had loosened up after her second beer but still seemed more or less in control.
"So Liv, who do you have the hots for these days?" Kathy asked me in a throw away manner.
"Ummm," I quickly glanced at Alex then at Elliot's grinning face. I suddenly found my beer very interesting. I swirled the warm liquid around the bottom of my glass. "I plead the fifth."
"Don't give me that legal bullshit; I deal with enough of it at work. Who do you like?" Alex said. She asked me in what sounded like a pleading way, like knowing would make a difference in her life. Well it would. It would repulse her and she'd either get me re-assigned or re-assign herself. Sorry, but ain't gonna happen babe.
I looked into her eyes. Part of me wanted to tell her, more of me knew how stupid that would be. "I still plead the fifth."
Alex shrugged and went back to listening to the others as they went onto other topics as they usually did when they couldn't get me to fess up. I hadn't for years, why would they think I would now? I only admitted my feelings to Elliot when we both got wasted after a hard case. It was something he has never let me forget. He was always giving me knowing glances and smirking when I blushed when Alex entered the room, or talked to me about anything other than work, or touched my arm or shoulder, or on the rare occasions hugged me.
I swallowed the last mouthful of my beer and stood up, grabbing my leather jacket from the back of my chair. "I'm calling it a night. See you on Monday."
Everyone waved and I turned and was almost at the door when the person I didn't and did want following me grabbed my forearm to stop me. I turned and looked into the crystal blue eyes waiting to be told why I was stopped.
"You taking a cab?" Alex asked me. She looked a bit flustered but I dismissed it as the alcohol.
"No. I brought my car since I wasn't planning to drink much." Please don't back fire. "Wanna lift home?"
Alex smiled. It was one of those smiles that lit up the room and always left me in awe. "I'd really appreciate that."
As I turned to continue walking out she linked arms with me. I was in shock, happy shock, and I nearly tripped over my own feet. But luckily I managed to keep things under wrap and I led her out of the bar door and down the street to the left to find my car.
I couldn't believe I was walking down the streets of New York with the Alexandra Cabot on my arm, heading to my car. It's like every man's fantasy. And in my opinion, should be every woman's too. When I stopped just beside my car she released my arm and I reached down to open the passenger door for her. As I pulled it open she smiled at me.
"Why thank you Detective." She winked and slid in, setting her purse down in her lap.
"Anytime, Counselor, anytime." And I meant it. If she called I came. I was at her beck and call. I closed the door and walked around to my own side. Once in myself, I slid the key into the ignition and started the car.
As I was making my way up town I glanced over at Alex. She was peering through her side window looking very serious. Looking back to the road I heard my self ask automatically, "Are you ok?"
"Yep." Ok, she replied all too quickly for my comfort.
"Are you sure?" I tried again.
This time she looked at me. She bit her bottom lip. She looked nervous, scared almost. "It's nothing, don't worry about it." She looked back out the window. Something's definitely wrong. I need to get to the bottom of this. It pained me when she was like this.
"But I worry anyway." I have to make a conscious effort to watch the road. Maybe I should pull over? No. She might get the wrong idea. She looked back at me with those deep blue eyes I could lose myself in.
"You do?" Her eyes were shining. Are those tears?
"Yes. I do." I said in my most reassuring voice. She smiled and blushed, looking back to the window. "You can tell me anything. I just want you to be ok."
She bowed her head. "Would you let me plead the fifth?"
"No." I stated matter of factly.
"Well then, I just can't tell you." She was trying to say it in a comical way, but I could hear the hesitation.
I frowned at her, making sure I glanced at the road often in case of oncoming traffic. "Alex?"
I knew it would make her look. For some reason when I say her name in that exact tone she always pays attention. I hoped this time isn't any different. Once again I'm on the ball with this one. She looked directly into my eyes. Those were tears; I could see one falling down her cheek.
A look of uncertainty crossed her face and then one of anger. I'm in for it now "Will you just leave it be? Jeez Olivia, don't you know when to mind your own damn business?"
"No I don't!" I said in an equally tempered voice. "I care about you and I can see something is wrong. All I want to do is help Alex, even if I can't fix whatever it is, maybe just talking about will help."
"You want to know what's wrong? I'll tell you what's wrong." Oh oo That didn't sound good. "I love you! That's what's wrong. I love you and I can't do anything about it because you're straight and there is no way in hell you'd feel the same."
Oh my god! She loves me? "We're not in hell Alex."
"I said we're not in hell."
"What does that have to do with anything?"
I pulled over to the side of the road and put the car in park. "You said there is no way in hell I'd feel the same. We are not in hell."
Alex frowned at me. I think the alcohol was affecting her quick thinking abilities. "What are you trying to say?" Ok, maybe not affecting, but destroying.
"I'm saying that I do feel the same."
"What?" Sometimes shock comes at bad times
"And what made you think I was straight?"
"Oh come on, you have the guys drooling at the mention of your name!"
"I do?" Well that's news I thought it was the other way around!
"Yeah, you do."
"That doesn't mean I'm straight, it just means they want something they could never have. There's only been one person in my entire life that I've been in love with. And that person is you."
"I Ummm wow!"
I had never seen Alex speechless before. Elliot would so not believe this! I don't even think I believe it and I'm actually here! I don't even know what to say. I just smiled at her.
"Ummm You ah uh, do you want to go back to my house for a drink?"
"If I drink any more I won't be able to drive."
Alex grinned mischievously at me. Now that was something you don't see every day! "I know."
I walked into the squad room on Monday morning with what I could only imagine as the biggest smile in the history of man. Jeez, I felt good! Better than I had in my entire life. My graduation didn't even come close. Not by a mile!
I saw Elliot already at his desk and waved to him. He waved back automatically then took a double-take of my face. He knew I didn't smile on Monday mornings. First of all I hate mornings, second I hate Mondays because there was always a perp to be caught.
"You must have got really lucky!" He said to me hoping I'd give him more info.
"Sorry partner, but I think I'll plead the fifth on this one." I grinned at him from my chair.
"Oh I bet you do!"
As soon as he had said it, who should walk through the doors but our ADA, my Alex. I could get used to saying that. I nodded to her and blushed. She saw this and smirked, blushing herself. I looked down at the file on my desk and she looked around the squad room.
"Where's Munch and Fin?" She asked. It wasn't directed at either one of us, but more as a starter for a conversation.
Elliot chose to answer. "They're out doing a door-knock around Mary's apartment. They should be back soon."
"So, Alex, how was your weekend?" He had to start this. I could see it in his eyes. He smirked knowingly at both of us and waited for an answer.
"You know what Elliot? I think I might plead the fifth." She grinned back at him.
"What? No, you can't do this to me. I need to know. Did you two ?"
"El, you heard the lady, she pleads the fifth. Nothing we can do about that."
"Yeah bloody right." He shook his head and took a deep drink of his coffee.
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