DISCLAIMER: Guiding Light and its characters are the property of Proctor & Gamble. No infringement intended.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
SPOILERS: Up to and including July 6, 2009.
A Prayer of a Chance
God? can you hear me? I'm so lost. Please show me the way. Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Amen.
Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
I am alone, my heart is breaking, shredded, torn to pieces. A burned husk, brittle and fragile, breaking away in tiny charred bits. I have come undone. What will I do now? The burden of lost possibilities weighs heavy on my weak shoulders. How can I possibly be okay when the one thing that held my life together seems to be slipping through my fingers like sand, blowing away in the wind? The pain is too much, unbearable, wearing me down like water to stone, drowning a slow death. I can't breathe. How can I possibly go on without her?
Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
I'm beginning to think we're cursed but damn it, I will not let her go. I refuse to go without a fight. I will find her if I have to search to the ends of the earth, or walk into the bowels of hell itself. I will not stop until my heart and soul are soothed, until I have looked into her eyes one last time and seen it there myself. I will not believe it until the words tumble out of that sweet, sweet mouth and even then I will rail against it. We are worth it, our family is worth it. We can work it out, whatever it is. I need her to make me complete, if nothing else the last few days have shown me that, painfully so. Get your head together Spenser and bring your family home.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now, and at the hour of death.
Natalia will be the death of me yet. She is naked in our bed. The covers are shoved down just barely covering the slope of her ass and I have a wonderful view of her back as she sleeps. Her beauty overwhelms me, still. I am amazed all over again that she is here with me. That we are together again.
I place long lingering kisses along her spine, and she moves slightly at my touch but doesn't wake. I trace lazy patterns across her back with my tongue, teasing her from her dreams into wakefulness, my breasts pressing against her warm skin. Pulling her long dark hair to one side I nuzzle along her neck, finding that small patch of skin that calls my name, that is sensitive for her. She moans softly and shivers beneath me, waking fully now, her feet kicking the covers completely off her sweet body.
I smile into the salty hollows of her neck as her body arches into my touch. She spreads her legs slightly, a small hitch in her breathing, and I know she's wet for me again. I trail my fingers across the inside of her thigh, tickling lightly across coarse hair. She gasps and I brush against her, my touch more firm.
"What do you want baby?" I whisper into her ear. She tries to push against me to increase the friction, but I pull away. It will be worth the wait and I know she is aware of that as well. She rolls beneath me, gasping and panting with her desire, her need for me raw and plain to see.
"Please Olivia " she rasps, her hands bunching the bed sheets around her. "Touch me."
I move against her again, back to where I know she needs me to be, to where I will always belong. I stroke deep into her heat, penetrating insistently and then slowing our pace, bringing her just to the edge and keeping her there, so close, until finally Natalia comes with a loud moan. Her death grip on the covers starts to loosen, her breathing eases and body relaxes.
"I love you " I whisper softly, holding her close and before long her breathing once more grows deep and I know she is asleep, safe in my arms once more. I smile and burrow into her long hair, contented, lost but now I'm found.
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