DISCLAIMER:I don't own them, I never will. Proper rights go to
Bruckheimer, CBS and every one.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: It's really important to note that this isn't part 5 of Premature Breakdown. I took an intermission from that story because I really needed to put Cath's point of view somewhere. I wanted to explore her feelings after Sara tells her she loves her. But since Premature Breakdown is written in Sara's POV, there wasn't really a way to work this in there since I changed POV's temporarily. But I really felt the need to write it anyway.
SERIES: This story follows On The Surface and the first four chapters of Premature Breakdown.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
She Loves Me
By Amy Jo
Sara whispers the words 'I love you' into my ear and I immediately feel my body flush warm with desire and fear. My heart is slamming against my chest at a rate that I am sure is not healthy and I'm having trouble breathing. I wonder if this is what it's like to have a heart attack.
Warrick comes around to stand in front of me and with his big worried eyes wide open he asks, "Cath are you okay?"
It takes me a while to focus and answer his question. "I'm not sure."
"What happened? Everything seemed fine."
"She umm.," My voice wavers and I'm not sure if I'm ready to tell him what she said. Warrick has been my best friend around the office for a long time now. We talk about everything. But I haven't even had ten minutes to think about this myself. I can't believe she loves me. Well, I believe her. But me. She loves me.
I've heard these words from lovers before. Eddie would say them all the time. Of course, he was sleeping with half of Nevada at the time. I wanted to believe him, I made myself believe him. Since then other lovers have said it. It always sounded shallow and meaningless. Words that were said because without them all my relationship would be recognized as meaningless flings.
But this. It never felt like this. It never felt so right before. I had once given up on finding the one person in this world that would make me feel this way. I wouldn't give it up for anything now. I feel weak in the knees and like I'm walking on clouds all at the same time.
I can't hold back the grin on my face and as I look at Warrick I see a smile spread across his face too. I take a deep breath before saying the words out loud. "She loves me."
Warrick moves forward and wraps me tightly in his arms for a hug. "I know."
"You knew? How did you know?" Hell, I just found out, how did he know? I'm well aware that if he hadn't told Sara I was interested Sara and I probably never would have acted our attraction. But I also know that there is no way she'd tell Warrick. At least not until she said something to me.
Warrick lets me out of his crushing hug and looks at me with an obvious 'duh' expression. "C'mon Cath. This is Sara we're talking about here. When I came in the door, she didn't bother to move away from you. I could have been anybody, but she didn't care. Whatever the two of you were talking about was more important to her than someone finding out about your relationship. For her, that means one thing."
There's a lot of truth to his words. Sara does her best to hide emotions from all of us. The fact that she didn't move away from me did mean something significant at the time. Something I didn't even realize because I was too busy thinking about the possibility of us being outed to another coworker. What a fool I was to not notice.
"And besides," Warrick continues, "that look on her face when she left was a dead give away. I've never seen her look so happy."
"Really?" I can't help but ask. I start to head out of Sara's office knowing that I really need to go pick up Lindsey. She's probably already wondering where I am.
"Yeah really," Warrick says as we head out to the parking lot. "How about you, how do you feel?"
"I don't know. I think I love her too." I don't know how to explain my feelings for Sara. She is everything I've ever wanted, and it totally terrifies me. We've known each other for years, but have only been lovers for less than two days. The fact that I could love her so much in such a short time is frightening.
"You'll see her before shift tonight right?" Warrick asks before he gets into his car.
"Yeah, she's going to come to my place in a few hours. After she's had a chance to talk to Rayn." Oh god. I hope that talk is going okay. It must have been just as obvious to Rayn as it was to Warrick.
"Tell her I'm happy for the two of you. I think she was really worried about how I would react. Just tell her I'm happy." Warrick smiles before starting his car and leaving.
The drive to my sister's is short and the whole time there I keep thinking about Sara. What am I going to tell my sister? And Lindsey? Those thoughts are pushed to the side when I remember how it felt to be in her arms and how soft her lips were.
She loves me. And though part of me thinks it's all too soon, I love her too.
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