DISCLAIMER: None of the SGA characters belong to me. If they did, Elizabeth would’ve come out long ago. Instead, they belong to Brad Wright, Robert. C. Cooper and co.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Thanks to Dawn and Sheila for the beta.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.

By teh_gandu


He'd saved her life for a reason, but not for the reason she, or anyone else, believe.

He saved her because he needs her, and he's pretty certain that Elizabeth needs him.

He raises his hand towards the panel, when a sudden movement catches the corner of his eye.

His eyebrow arches as he peers into the colored transparent glass. There is nothing. No sudden movement, no movement of any kind, and he sighs in relief, pressing the panel as he does so. But John can't help but wonder if he's seeing things, if the trauma of the Genii's attack has started to affect him. Or perhaps, it's the thought of losing Elizabeth that has him seeing things.

The doors swish open and silently he enters, only to be startled by a panicked murmur a moment later.

His heart begins to pound as he approaches her bed, he notices that half of the covers have been tossed aside. His lungs become restricted and he now finds himself struggling for air.

As soon as he reaches the foot of her bed, he kneels down, concern washing over him at the sight of fear and panic across Elizabeth's face. He strokes her face, only to flinch back as she whimpers. "Elizabeth?"

With his back towards the bathroom, he doesn't hear the silent footsteps, nor does he see the figure standing behind him until it's too late and the lights switch on. "Major?"

Sheppard freezes, his heart now rapidly beating out of control, as his lungs once again become restricted, and as if on queue the diplomat's eyes shoot open. Slightly confused, and panicked as to why he was here, in her quarters and why his fingers were stroking her face, she squeaks in surprise. "John?"

Oh fuck.

Blushing, he withdraws his hand as he opens his mouth to come up with some excuse.

Elizabeth sits up, still dazed. "W-what're you doing here? Is everything alright?"

He stands up, glancing at Elizabeth, wondering why she was in her jogging gear, before glancing at the Athosian, forcing a false smile (Teyla certainly doesn't fail to notice his forced smile), and again his eyebrow arches. What was she doing here? He notes the mug in her hand, the essences of lemon, lime, ginger, and mixed herbs hitting him immediately. He also notes her wearing nothing but a red African nightshirt-one of Elizabeth's African nightshirts.

He gazes back at Elizabeth. "I wanted to see how you were, but clearly, Teyla beat me to it." It was meant to come off lightly, but the underlining tension certainly doesn't go unnoticed.

Teyla says nothing, swiftly walking over to the older woman, smiling again with that shy smile, as she sits on the bed, handing Elizabeth the warm mug of Athosian made remedy.

Sheppard's stomach churns as he sees Elizabeth's fingers brush against Teyla's, her shy smile widening.

He can't help but feel like the third wheel, and yet he makes no attempt to leave.

Elizabeth smiles, weakly. "Thank you, for your concern John…." She trails off in uncertainty, using this awkward moment to take a few slips of the drink.

He feels nauseous, but manages to smile weakly at her. "It's alright."

The awkward moment is soon filled by awkward silence.

Sheppard gazes at her. How could he have not seen this? All the times when she'd sided with Elizabeth, when she could've easily sided with him…but did she really side with Elizabeth, because they're fucking, or because she felt that Elizabeth had raised more of a valid point than he did? It all makes sense now, the subtle looks, the subtle brushing of fingers when they thought no one was looking. He'd always put it down to his own imagination. And now, now it turns out that it wasn't his imagination at all, that he'd actually witnessed these subtle moments.

And now, now he'd interrupted their intimate moment, with no intentions of leaving.

This isn't how it's supposed to be. He was the hero, the one who was supposed to get the girl. The one who was supposed to get Doctor Elizabeth Weir. The hero always gets the girl, that's just how it goes. Elizabeth was supposed to be his, not someone else's, and certainly not Teyla Emmagan's. Not that he's got anything against Teyla, but at the end of the day, Elizabeth was supposed to be his. But this isn't the movies and this isn't Hollywood.

Teyla decides to break the awkwardness. "Clearly you two have a lot to talk about," she says, standing slowly, "and me being here is not helping matters."

"Teyla…" Elizabeth leans over, placing her mug on the side table, taking the younger woman's hands into her own.

The Athosian smiles softly, pressing her lips smoothly against Elizabeth's forehead. "Just let me know when you have finished."

Elizabeth smiles weakly. "Will do," she mutters, lowering her head and running a hand through her unruly hair.

Sheppard says nothing as the younger woman walks past, watching as she pushes the panel and exits. John glares at Elizabeth, saying, "Why her?"

Elizabeth's head shoots up, startled by his remark. "Excuse me?"

"You're not gay. So again, why Teyla? And how long? W-were you even going to tell me?"

She gazes at him, noting the sound of betrayal in his voice. "I wasn't aware you felt…this way."

"Well now you do," he says bitterly.

She smiles faintly. "I'm sorry."

"Yeah…me too."

"Teyla and I….I-"

"Don't say it. Don't say you love her. We've only been here for nine months, Elizabeth. You can't fall in love with someone that quick."

"Like you are with me?"

His hands shot up. "Touché."

"John, I am attracted to Teyla, and, sexuality aside, I haven't felt like this in a very long time, and yes, I do love her, although she doesn't know it yet."

He tilts his head. "You haven't told her?"


He walks towards her. "So are you or are you not gay?"

Her eyes close, as she runs a hand down her face as he pauses in front of her. "I don't know."

"How can you not know? It's quite simple-you're either gay or straight, which is it?"

Her eyes open slowly. "You know, I've never really thought about it, not to mention that I'm not one to be categorized."


"Why are you here?"

"Why are you avoiding my question?"

"Because," she says sternly, "it's really nobody's business but mine and Teyla's. What is your problem? Is it me and Teyla? Or-"

He sighs, slumping onto her bed. "I just never thought…."

"That I could be attracted to another woman?" she snorts. "What? You thought you'd be my knight in shining amour and I'd be the helpless victim who'd fall at your feet?"

"Something like that," Sheppard smirks, ducking his head. "I've been an ass, haven't I?" He doesn't give her a chance to reply before continuing. "It's just the thought of you and Teyla…" he crocks his head. "Yes, it would've been better if you and I were a couple."

"Because you're the hero, and the hero always gets the girl." It wasn't a question-it was a fact.

"It's my job to protect people."

"And to get killed, and to get the girl. I get it, the whole James Bond look can be appealing," she says softly.

He opens his mouth to speak, but she continues speaking. "And yes, you've been an ass. Would it be too much to ask for your support? I don't give a damn if you don't like the idea of me being with Teyla-"

He cuts her off by claiming her lips, only to have her push him off. "What the-"

Sheppard throws her his schoolboy smile. "Awww, come on! You had to have felt something."

She glares at him, but her tone is soft. "Yeah. You could do with some mints though."

He snorts. "Funny! I'm serious."

"I know you are."

"Are you telling me you didn't feel a thing?"

"Other than the bad breath?"

He shoots her a dark look.

"No." She sighs, holding his now anguished gaze. "I've never been attracted to you."

Sheppard stands up, saying nothing, as his stomach churns.

"Teyla's always respected you, John, and you've just thrown it all back in her face."

"I'll apologize," he says flatly, avoiding her gaze.

"No. You'll apologize because you want to, not because you have to."

Sheppard heads toward the doors. "I'd have preferred it if you'd dated someone like McKay or even-"

"Let me guess, Kavanagh?"

Sheppard pauses in his tracks, snorting. "No. Not even you deserve someone like that. Although the Wraith or Kolya might like him…."

Elizabeth smiles weakly.

"Ford. I was going to say someone like Aiden."

Elizabeth's eyebrow rises. "A boy toy?"

Sheppard shrugs, partially turning around. "Why not? I mean boy toys are the latest craze, are they not?"

Elizabeth glances at the half silhouetted pilot, ready to reply, when Sheppard says, "But, I suppose you've got Teyla and she's well…she's your girl toy." He presses the panel, but as the doors slide open, he pauses. "I'm not sure if I'll ever get my head around the two of you….and I'm not sure if I'll approve."

"And had she been a man, it would've been different?"

He shrugs. "I'm not homophobic."

"No one's saying you are."

"I just think…I just wouldn't've chosen Teyla, that's all."

"And who would you have chosen?"

He fails to note the pain in her tone. "For Teyla?" he shrugs. "Heightmeyer."


He shrugs. "They're suited for one another."

"How so?"

Again Sheppard shrugs.

"They've never exchanged a 'hello' and as far as I'm aware, Teyla doesn't even know who Kate is," she sighs. "Until today, you weren't even aware that Teyla was gay."

"Well, the thought of questioning my team about their sexuality, never really crossed my mind. Elizabeth, I'm not homophobic, it's just-"

"You'd preferred it if Teyla was involved with Heightmeyer and that I was involved with you," she smiles, weakly "I get it. But what I don't understand is why? Why you're not prepared to support me? I've always stood by you, always had your back, and now, when I need you, need your support…you throw it all back in my face." The underlying pain in her voice fails to be noticed.

"I'm sorry," Sheppard replies.

The diplomat nods, closing her eyes. "Yeah, me too," she replies, softly. "Could you send Teyla back in?"

Sheppard says nothing, exiting, the doors shutting behind him, only for them to reopen seconds later.

"Elizabeth?" Teyla's tone bares concern as she walks towards the bed. It dips as she sits opposite the older woman.

"He doesn't approve." Elizabeth whispers, pain surfacing in her voice.

Teyla gazes at Elizabeth, pulling her into an embrace, rubbing the small of her back and rocking her back and forth.

"I've always stood by him a-and…the one time I-I need him, he…"

"I know," Teyla whispers in Elizabeth's ear.

"He's not going to change his mind…" Her voice cracks.

"No," Teyla utters.

Elizabeth's eyes close as she buries herself further into Teyla's shoulder, before letting out a single sob.

The End

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