DISCLAIMER: The Devil Wears Prada and its characters belong to Lauren Weisberger and 20th Century Fox. No infringement intended.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This story would follow Sparky.
FEEDBACK: To jah728[at]rocketmail.com
The Revenge of Six
Being six months pregnant, Andy Sachs-Priestly did not breeze down the halls of Runway. Her rolling gait could not be described as a waddle (yet), but it was slower than what her previous form was capable of. Andy was meeting her wife for lunch and afterwards they were going to shop for baby furniture. She was looking forward to decorating the nursery in vibrant colors and happy cartoon characters. Miranda quirked an eyebrow or two at the cartoon character theme, but gave in when Andy batted her big brown eyes and smiled. Cartoon characters it would be.
"Hey, Rachel, is she in?" Andy finally made it to Miranda's outer office. She wondered how it was possible for the hallway to have gotten so much longer.
Rachel, Miranda's first assistant, looked up from her computer monitor and smiled at her boss' wife. "She had to see Nigel but said for you to make yourself comfortable. She'll be right back. Can I get you anything?"
"Not unless you have something for this backache," Andy joked as she entered Miranda's office. "I'll just get comfy on the couch."
Rachel nodded and went back to work. She barely acknowledged Marian the second assistant when she returned from her errands.
"Miranda in?" Irv Ravitz, CEO of Elias-Clarke Publishing, strode past the assistants' desks and into Miranda's office. It took him a minute to realize the office wasn't completely empty and that Miranda's wife was on the couch with her feet on the coffee table. "Where is she?"
"I'm sorry Mr. Ravitz she's meeting with Nigel. Would you like to wait or leave a message?" Andy struggled to get her feet down and stand up gracefully.
Rachel, who hurried in after Irv, went over and gave Andy a helping hand. Once Andy was upright she turned her attention back to Irv.
"I'll leave a message. Give me a piece of paper," he demanded as he gestured towards Rachel.
Rachel tore a sheet out of her notebook and handed Irv paper and pen. She stood silently next to Andy watching the man lean over Miranda's desk as he wrote his note. Once he was done he slammed the pen down on the paper and turned to leave. Pausing at the door, he looked back at Andy. "How do you do it?" he inquired.
Confused Andy cocked her head. "Do what?"
"Come up here looking like that with all of these beautiful thin women around. Doesn't it make you feel like a whale?"
"Wh whale?" Stricken Andy felt her face turn red and her eyes burn.
Rachel felt the color drain from her face as she whipped her eyes from Andy's crushed expression to Irv's gloating one. Before she could jump to Andy's defense, the CEO strolled out of the office.
"Excuse me," Andy whispered and ran to Miranda's private bathroom slamming and locking the door.
Rachel rushed to the outer office. "Get Miranda now," she hissed at the new girl. Marian was frozen in her seat, shocked by what she heard Irv spew. "Go!" Rachel ducked back into Miranda's office.
Marian jumped up and sprinted down the halls to Nigel's office, bursting through the door without knocking.
Miranda whirled around at the interruption. "What is the meaning of this? Have you completely lost your mind?"
"Andy's crying," Marian gasped.
Papers went flying as Miranda tore out of the office.
Marian and Nigel quickly followed. On the way Marian repeated what she heard and Andy's resulting reaction. Nigel cursed as he ran his hand over his bald head. By the time they got to Miranda's office, the woman was trying to talk her wife into opening the bathroom door.
"Darling, let me in," she pleaded. Hearing only deep sobs from the other side of the door she turned to Rachel. "What happened?" As Rachel went over the events, Miranda first paled then turned bright red. "Get this door open now or break it down," she growled.
Rachel bobbed her head franticly and examined the door knob. As luck would have it, the knob had the standard small round hole in the center. Somewhere there was a metal key that could be pushed in to unlock the door. Rachel knew such a key was not in her or the second assistant's desks. Carefully, she reached up and felt along the edge of the door frame. Her parents used the same hiding place when she was growing up. "Gotcha." Rachel unlocked the door and Miranda slipped in shutting the door again.
Rachel, Nigel, and Marian looked at each other before stepping out of Miranda's office and gathering in front of Rachel's desk. Rachel was the first to break the silence. "What the hell was he thinking? He has to know that Miranda won't let this slide."
"That's probably his point. If he can bait Miranda into doing something rash, he can have her fired for insubordination. He knows a frontal attack won't work, so now he's going to get to her indirectly."
"He's a freaking moron," snarled Marian. "We've got to do something."
"Yes, we do," Nigel agreed as he pulled out his phone. Before he could do more than pull up his contacts, Emily and Serena rushed in.
"What happened? Is something wrong with Andy?" Emily and Serena were out of breath. They had been reviewing photos in the beauty department when someone reported they saw Miranda running towards her office. They knew the only thing that could make their boss run would be an emergency involving her daughters or Andy.
Meanwhile in the bathroom, Miranda was trying to calm her wife. Having gathered the crying woman into her arms, Miranda was whispering in Andy's ear and gently rubbing her back. "Darling, please don't cry. The stress isn't good for you. You are so beautiful carrying our child."
"He said (hic) he said I was fat," Andy wailed.
Miranda grasped Andy by the shoulders and pushed her back enough to look her in the eye. Adamant she pronounced, "You are not fat." When Andy ducked her head, Miranda gave her a gentle shake. "You are not fat," she repeated softly. "You are carrying a new life. Do you realize how extraordinary that is? In a few months, we will have a baby to care for, to love, to drive us crazy." Miranda smirked at that last.
Andy hugged Miranda and buried her face in her neck. Slowly the tears ebbed. Miranda reached for some tissues. "Look at me, darling." Andy raised her head and Miranda wiped her tears and her nose. "Better now?"
Andy nodded and took Miranda's hand. "Thank you."
"Anytime." Miranda kissed Andy's cheek.
"Can you excuse me? I need to, umm," Andy gestured vaguely.
"Of course, I'll be right outside." Miranda stepped out of the bathroom and carefully closed the door. As soon as she was alone, Miranda's expression hardened and her eyes flashed with rage. Striding out of her office she was heading towards the elevators. "Nigel, come along. You can help me hide the body. We'll shove Irv in the closet until nightfall. There's some new construction that will be getting an addition to their foundation tonight."
"Oh crap." Nigel hurried to catch up to Miranda. "Wait, Miranda." Nigel grabbed her arm and nearly let go when Miranda turned her flesh melting glare on him. "I'm going to kill him, Nigel. Slow, quick, I haven't decided. He is not getting away with this. I've had enough."
"Miranda let me handle this, please. I have an idea. Let me try. If it doesn't work out, you can kill him later."
Intrigued, Miranda stared at her friend. "Will he suffer?"
"Do you promise?"
"Yes." Nigel put his hand over his heart.
"Very well. Handle it." Miranda turned around and returned to her office. "Rachel, I won't be back later as planned. Cancel, re-schedule, or have Nigel handle whatever comes up."
"Yes, Miranda." Rachel sat down and started sending e-mails and checking her calendar.
Marian pulled Miranda's jacket and purse from the closet and stood by to hand them off. Emily, Serena, and Nigel waited for Andy to come by. When she appeared with Miranda each of her friends came forward and gave her a quick hug. When it was Nigel's turn he whispered something in Andy's ear.
"Really?" She gave him a watery smile.
"Really. Now shoo."
Once Miranda and Andy were gone, the four women turned to Nigel. "What do you want us to do, Nigel?" Emily was ready to follow through with Miranda's plan to add Irv's body to a newly poured foundation.
"We are going to tell everybody what Irv did." Nigel pulled out his phone and started through his contacts.
"How will that help," Serena wondered.
"Although Miranda doesn't believe it, she is well respected. More respected than Irv. And you know how Andy is. She hasn't met a stranger yet. What would happen if everyone who respects Miranda and likes Andy found out what Irv did? I think the resulting loss of esteem and outright derision is going to hit him in his pride. Then there is the bonus of dozens of people plotting revenge. It could get quite interesting."
"It has possibilities," Emily agreed. "So you want us to spread the word?"
"Yes." Nigel found the number he was looking for and dialed. "Claire, darling, how are you?" Nigel walked back towards his office chatting amiably.
Serena was unconvinced that such a subtle approach would gain justice for Andy. "Who is Claire?"
Rachel and Marian looked at each other and shook their heads. The name meant nothing to them.
Emily thought for a while and then her eyes widened. "Oh no he didn't." Surprised everyone looked at her. "The CFO's wife is named Claire. Nigel's talked to her at several Elias Clarke functions. I think she's his source for some of the juicier gossip he's passed around."
"So where to begin," Serena murmured as she and Emily returned to their duties. Serena mentally made a list of the people she would be contacting, starting with the guards in the lobby.
By the end of the day, everyone working for Runway knew of Irv's evil deeds. By 10:00 am the following day, all of Elias Clarke was aware that he made Andy cry. The employees of the Starbucks across the street, Andy's former co-workers at the Mirror, and several food cart patrons were outraged when they heard the news during their lunch breaks.
Irv's personal assistant, Linda, was infuriated when Emily related the tale. Linda in turn told the Maitre'd at Irv's favorite restaurant when she made lunch reservations. Irv was livid when he showed up and there was no record of the reservation and no tables would be available for hours. Irv heard Linda call the restaurant so he knew the problem was not his assistant's fault. Besides, Irv was more than a little unnerved by all of the angry glares he was receiving. The Maitre'd was only the latest in the string of people who paused when he came into view and glowered.
The Elias Clarke security guards also provided their share of dirty looks. Almost to a man, they thought of Andy as a little sister. While she was Miranda's harried assistant, she made sure that every coffee run included a couple of Grande Caffé Americanos for whoever was working the front desk. More often than not, weekends would find a box of donuts with a post-it smiley face signed Andy waiting for the early shift. Even after Andy left Runway, coffee and donuts would magically appeared at the security post. Not everyone was aware of the elevator control console at the guard desk. When they knew Andy was making a run, one of the guards would call and hold an elevator for her. As soon as she dropped off their coffee, she would step into an express ride to the 17th floor.
Irv began to hate the Elias Clarke elevators. Five times in as many days, Irv's elevator stopped between floors. The shortest time he was trapped was 20 minutes. The longest so far was an hour. When Irv complained, the repair technicians shrugged and muttered something about an intermittent problem.
Irv realized if he rode with someone, the elevator would not make an emergency stop. Mornings he would wait until an elevator was almost full and the doors just about to close before he hopped on. That was fine until the morning he entered an elevator with six clackers. This time the emergency stop was just past the sixth floor. As one, all six women surrounded Irv and stared menacingly. Irv tried to back into the corner but none of the women gave an inch. Finally, the elevator started up again. When the doors opened on the tenth floor, Irv rushed off and climbed up eight flights of stairs.
Sweating and panting, Irv dropped into his office chair before noticing the letter on his desk advising him that his expense vouchers had been selected for audit. Someone would be contacting him soon for any backup documentation not attached to the vouchers.
For the next couple of weeks, no matter what the restaurant, every reservation was lost. Irv's computer crashed at least twice a day from the overload of spam in his inbox. Internal auditors traipsing in and out of his office was a common sight. Irv made it a habit of stopping at the restroom before getting on any elevator.
But throughout his trials and tribulations, he didn't hear one word from Miranda. It unnerved him and he kept expecting Miranda to appear at his office door. At a budget meeting on Monday, Nigel accompanied Miranda and did all of the talking. Miranda sat impassively at the foot of the table and watched Irv's every move. As soon as the meeting was over, Irv ducked out of the conference room and took the stairs back to his office.
"Nigel, are you sure this is the best way?" Miranda and Nigel headed back to Miranda's office.
"Trust me Miranda. He's as nervous as a whore in church."
"Lovely analogy," she deadpanned. Miranda knew Irv was experiencing continual aggravation and nuisances. But she hadn't seen any real suffering yet. And she wanted Irv to suffer for the hurt he caused Andrea. Since that day, her wife refused to meet her at Runway's office. Whenever they had a lunch date, Andrea would meet her at the restaurant or she would be in the car waiting for Miranda to come out of the building. Miranda waved Nigel towards one of chairs in front of her desk as she continued on to the window.
"Irv is a pompous little tyrant. He's lost the respect of the people he works and interacts with. I heard he went to Starbucks the other day and stood at the counter while the baristas waited on six others around him before taking his order." Nigel took a seat and waited while Miranda looked out over the city.
"Although I might agree that not getting coffee in a timely manner is appalling, I do not consider it suffering." Miranda returned to her desk.
"Irv's wife wasn't pleased with his behavior either. He's been staying at the Plaza."
"Nigel," Miranda sighed.
"Have patience Miranda. I understand there's been a lot of activity in accounting and that the board of directors will be meeting in a few days."
"Very well. That's all."
Nigel gratefully escaped back to his office.
Three days later Irv was summoned to a closed door meeting with the Elias Clarke board. He was presented with the option of either retiring quietly or being fired and charged with theft. The audit of several expense vouchers turned up numerous questionable transactions and resulted in a more thorough examination of all charges made to Irv's office account. There was enough evidence for fraud if Irv didn't cooperate. Irv was no fool and promptly submitted his request for retirement.
Almost seven months pregnant, Andy Sachs-Priestly walked slowly though the halls of Runway toward her wife's office. Several people stopped to say hello, comment on how well she looked, or to give her a hug. Since she couldn't take more than two or three steps before stopping and chatting with someone, it was taking an inordinate amount of time to reach her destination. Miranda was meeting with Nigel when she heard someone outside Nigel's office call out Andy's here.
"Well, my lunch date has arrived. Shall we continue later?" Miranda stood and gathered a handful of pictures.
"Of course. I'll walk you back. I haven't seen Six in while. How has she been?"
"Other than feeling uncomfortable and occasionally cranky, she's wonderful." Miranda smiled at her friend. "Although if you repeat the cranky comment, I'll have to hurt you."
"No problem," Nigel laughed.
Miranda and Nigel were waiting in Miranda's office when Andy, escorted by Emily and Serena, finally arrived.
"Six, you look radiant."
"Thanks, Nige, but I haven't been a six for a while now."
"Nonsense, you will always be Six." Nigel leaned in and gave Andy a peck on the cheek. "So what have you been up to? Did you finish the nursery?"
"Yeah, it looks great. You need to come see it." Andy looked at Miranda hopefully.
Miranda reached for Andy's hand and drew her closer. "Yes, why don't you all join us for dinner Saturday? Andrea and the girls have outdone themselves. If you come around 6:30 you'll have time for the tour before dinner."
Once Serena, Emily, and Nigel gracefully accepted the invitation, Miranda guided Andy out of the office, pausing only to take her purse from Marian before resuming their slow walk to the elevators.
"Nigel, what did you say to Andy the last time she was here?" Emily had been curious about what Nigel said to cheer up Andy before she left that day.
"Hmm? Oh, I told her she was beautiful before but that she was absolutely gorgeous carrying new life."
"Nicely said, Nigel," murmured Serena.
"Yes, Nigel, that was perfect," agreed Emily.
Nigel smiled as he watched Miranda escort Andy down the hall. Today he thought his young friend was quite adorable. Especially with her little waddle.
Return to The Devil Wears Prada Fiction
Return to Main Page