DISCLAIMER: The Devil Wears Prada and its characters belong to Lauren Weisberger and 20th Century Fox. No infringement intended. I wish I owned them. How cool would that be?
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is my first Devil Wears Prada piece. I haven’t written in a long while so I thought I would start with a small fic before trying to write something longer. Hope you enjoy it! And also, thanks to my wonderful girlfriend who came up with the title.
CHALLENGE: Written for the first International Day of Femslash.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.

Romeo Would Have Had Better Aim
By Listy


“Arg! That woman!” Andy stomped around the study. “Of all the people, she should know how work can be!”

A year and a half into their relationship, Andy still found new things about Miranda Priestly to drive her nuts. This time though, she had a sneaking suspicion that it wasn’t her lover’s fault.

The new reporter had been working diligently on her latest article for The Mirror when her boss walked over to her desk to inform her that Stevens had just quit to go work at the Times, so it was now her weekend to stay at the office and update the web site. Surprise had stolen her ability to protest and by the time she had gathered her wits her boss was back in his office.

Andy then decided to take the cowards way out and called Miranda instead of telling her when she got home. Normally, this change of plans wouldn’t have been a problem. But they had plans.

Big plans.

A month ago they had scheduled to stay at Miranda’s cabin just the two of them. The twins would be at their father's and orders were given that unless Runway had burned to the ground they were not to be disturbed. It was to be their first vacation with just the two of them. Sure, they had gone to the cabin before and even once to the Caribbean but they had been family trips with the girls.

Miranda didn’t raise her voice over the phone but Andy could hear the anger lacing each softly spoken word. The argument was short and ended when the Editor said that she would then go without Andy and have a peaceful weekend by herself.

So here she was. Home alone with a note written by her lover saying not to call and disturb her restful weekend and that she’d see her Monday night. Miranda even ended it with a “That’s all,” a phrase she hadn’t used with Andy in a long time.

A few more stomps around the living room and she ended up in front of the mirror in the hall.

“I can’t stand you sometimes” she said as she pointed to her reflection. “You know how much she was looking forward to this and you didn’t even try to get out of it. Grow a god damn backbone!”

Andy thought about smacking herself but started making calls instead. The first call was to her friend Jennifer. It look a tremendous amount of begging, a promise of a pair of Jimmy Choo heals, and a lunch, to convince her to cover for Andy that weekend. The second call was to her boss to tell him. Beyond relieved that her boss didn’t care as long as someone was there (which had caused Andy to blink stupidly at the phone), a third call was to Roy to pick her up.

Half an hour later Andy was in the car and on her way to the cabin.

“How mad was she?” Andy asked her friend at the wheel. Roy had been a huge help when she had decided to romantically peruse the older woman. If it hadn’t been for his helpful tips and information as to where they would be a certain times, she was sure she still would be in her old apartment pinning away.

“She wasn’t mad, she was...” his voice trailed off.

There was a long pause.

“Damn!” Andy silently cursed at herself. When he didn’t continue she knew Miranda’s reaction. The only thing that ever caused Roy to remain silent was when Miranda cried. It only happened once before in their relationship though she wasn’t the cause of it that time.

She was the one that made Miranda cry this time.

“I’ll pay for any ticket you get.”

Roy didn’t have to ask what she meant, he just stepped harder on the gas petal.

After shaving twenty minutes off their trip, Roy dropped her off in front of the driveway. Andy picked up her duffle bag and walked towards the cabin.

Cabin really didn’t describe it well. They had the same good natured argument about what constituted a “cabin.” She said that it had to be one story with a couple of rooms, a fireplace, and no electricity. Miranda, appalled by Andy’s idea of a cabin, said all it had to be was out in a forrest like area, that two stories, electricity, a game room with a pool table and wide screen television was a cabin, besides, there were fireplaces in most of the rooms. Each would argue their point, getting more outlandish with every suggestion until Miranda was talking about a fully staffed mansion, and Andy, a sleeping bag in a cave.

Andy rounded a corner and the cabin came into view. No light shined from within. She reached into her pocket to pull out her keys...only to find it empty.

“Uh oh” she muttered. A frantic pat down yielded no keys. “Shit! I bet they’re in the car. Stupid stupid stupid.” Andy didn’t even bother to look at her cell phone, she knew that it wouldn’t get reception out here. She put her duffle bag on the porch then walked to the back of the cabin.

Their bedroom light on the second floor was on and music softly drifted down.

A search of the ground found some small sized pebbles perfect for throwing at windows. She threw a couple. And promptly found out she was an awful shot as most of them didn’t come within three feet of the window in any direction.

“So much for that” Andy grumbled then walked up to the side of the cabin. She was hoping not to do this. Wrapping her hands around the sturdy looking cast iron trellis, she shook it a little. Sturdy was a good word, the thing didn’t move at all.

She put on her black gloves before starting to climb the trellis while trying to simultaneously ignore the thorns scratching at her skin and pay attention to not stepping on any blooming roses. By the time she got the the window she was itchy all over and grumbling about every chick flick she ever saw.

She peeked around the corner of the window to see Miranda putting the bedside phone back on it’s cradle as a few tears fell down a wet cheek.

Andy hung her head and called herself every name in the book ...twice. She would have kicked herself if she wasn’t so high up.

“Well, it worked for Romeo. Let’s hope my ‘Juliet’ doesn’t push me off the balcony.”

Tap tap tap on the window.

A startled look, and Miranda was rushing over to the window to open.

“What on earth-” she was interrupted by Andy.

“But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Miranda is the sun. Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon, Who is already sick and pale with grief...” Andy gave what she hoped as a sufficiently embarrassed look. “Ummm... sorry, that’s all I know.”

I knew I should have paid more attention in drama class.


The journalist shivered while she spoke without thinking. “The way you say my name...” Andy shivered again. “When I hear it I just want to...” She stopped talking.

Crap! Like she would care about that right now. You’re supposed to apologizing, groveling, not coming on to her like some horny teenager. Maybe the fall from here won’t be as bad as it looks. She looked down. Then again, maybe not.

Miranda let a small smile play around on her lips.

This made Andy grin widely. She knew that smile. It was one only she got to see. The one that, with a little encouragement, would become a full fledged light up her eyes smile that would warm Andy for days.

Maybe I won’t end up sleeping in the bushes tonight....

“Andrea, what are you doing here? I thought... I thought you couldn’t... what about work?” It wasn’t often she had a hard time with words, but the normally calm, always put together, woman was obviously very much taken off guard with the appearance of Andy in her window.

“It took a pair of Jimmy Choos, lunch, and my undying thanks, but I got someone to cover for me this weekend...” her voice trailed off. “Ummm, sweetheart?” Andy shifted her grip on the trellis “Any chance I could come in? My arms are starting to hurt.”

Miranda raised an eyebrow.

Ooops! I forgot, no pet names.

“Can’t you climb down?”

“Umm...” Andy clung tighter to the trellis.

“Come on, Romeo.” The other woman rolled her eyes and stepped back.

After climbing a little higher Andy was able to p ut both feet on the window ledge. I’m gonna die I’m gonna die I’m gonna die I’m gonna die.... But instead of dying she half fell, half slid into the room landing with a loud flat on her back.

“Oomph!” Pause. “Ouch.”

A flutter of silky fabric and a beautiful silver haired woman was sitting on the floor next to Andy.

Andy smiled while bringing her hand up to caress her lovers cheek. “Hey.”

Eyes closed, Miranda leaned into the hand at her cheek and said nothing.

The silence was comfortable as they let the feeling of peace setting frazzled nerves. There was always plenty of passion and need when they were together, but it was times like this when whatever that connected these two woman took hold of them, bringing them closer to each other than anyone else in their life had been.

It was easy for Andy to ignore the pain in her back and arms as she sat up to be eye level with Miranda. She took the older woman’s face in both hands and kissed her gently, slowly, allowing time to just feel soft lips and tongue against her own. Never in her life before could just a few kisses bring forth a burning desire and connection. Miranda’s kisses were the only ones that Andy hoped to have in her life for years to come. She slipped her arms around the silk clad body next to her and felt a head lay itself on her shoulder.

“I tried to call.”

“Oh.” No cell reception. Miranda’s one glaring weak point was her fear that Andy would just get tired of their relationship and the weird hours they kept and simply leave her. Like all her ex-husbands. Bastards. “I always take you calls. Always will.”


“Yes well.” Miranda straightened up and pursed her lips. “I don’t believe I call people with leaves in their hair. How unbecoming. Why did you climb up the side of the cabin like some demented monkey?”

“Ummm...” She really had to work on not starting her sentences like that, it made her sound like a simpleton. Andy checked her hair to find that she indeed have bits of plants in her hair. “I forgot my keys.”

“You could have knocked or rung the doorbell.”

“I wasn’t sure you would actually open the door when you saw it was me.” Andy’s eyes widened. Oh shit! I didn’t mean to say that!

Miranda stiffened. “I would have.” Her voice was cool and even.

“Besides, isn’t it more romantic to climb up to your window?” Andy laughed nervously hoping, again, she didn’t have to sleep in the bushes tonight.

An eyebrow was lifted. “That certainly was a first.”

“And you know, I did try throwing rocks at the window but I have horrible aim and I my cell phone doesn’t get reception out here so I couldn’t call and the trellis is right there and you were up here” Andy would have continued her babbling if it wasn’t for Miranda’s lips on her own.

“Andrea, you talk far too much.” She slowly slid her hands up and down Andy’s side.

Always a firm believer that actions spoke louder than words, Andy gently pushed Miranda down to lay on the floor and opened the silk robe.

The next morning would find Andy silently thanking Miranda for having a washer and dryer installed, instead of a clothesline, as all of her clothes had stayed out last night on the porch and now smelled horrible. Though, she was proud of herself for only squealing a couple times when she found creepy crawling things in her bag.

Currently Andy was sitting in the small kitchen with a cup of coffee and her datebook looking for another time to come up here just the two of them. She walked to the living room about to ask Miranda when she might be free but stopped at the sight before her.

On the couch, snuggled under a blanket and sleeping with a smile on her face was Miranda. The morning sunlight played merrily in her silver hair and along the side of her face. Andy could only stare in awe.

Miranda was right. The cabin is perfect.

The End

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