DISCLAIMER: Law & Order and its characters are the property of Wolf productions, NBC etc. No infringement intended, no profit made.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I'm not sure if I succeeded or failed in the challenge 'cuz I know it's supposed to be a non-sexual situation. I just couldn't help from making it, uh, sexual.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.

Scientific Method
By trancer


Both women gave a nervous glance towards the other. ME Warner stood in the middle of Alex's office, wearing a Haz-mat suit, her Examiner's case held in one hand.

"Fine," she held up a hand. "Both of you wanna die a slow painful death, be my guest. I have work to do."

Olivia was the first to move. Begrudgingly sliding out of her leather jacket before bending over to work on her shoes. Alex wasn't so comfortable.

"Do you have to watch?"

Warner rolled her eyes, crossing her arms across her chest.

"Okay, fine."

It had started around 8:30am with an odd smell. The complaints filed into the front desk. A harried Security Guard made a startling discovery down in the boiler room. Within minutes, the building was a mass of police cars, ambulances, fire trucks, news vehicles surrounding the building. The words biological agent, anthrax and terrorism, thrown about.

The entire building had been placed under quarantine. The good news - it was still before the morning rush so the building had been barely occupied. The bad, according to Alex anyway, the two women were stuck inside.

Olivia could think of worse things and being stuck in Alex's office wasn't one of them. The ADA wasn't as bemused. She could give a damn about infections or biological agents. She had a court date, dammit.

Now, her office was blocked off by tarps of thick heavy plastic. Making the hallways look like a vision seen through melted cheesecloth over a lens. Which was good considering she and Olivia now stood completely naked under the intensive gaze of the ME.

"Hmmm," Warner muttered under her breath.

"What?" Olivia asked, a slight tremor in her voice.

"There's an odd mark here."

Alex leaned back slightly, eyeing the patch of skin under Warner's examination. "Oh," she could feel her cheeks blushing slightly. "That's a hickey."

The ME nodded with a slight cock of an eyebrow. And, Alex noted, was that a slight grin? Warner pointed with a finger at Olivia's back. "And this?"

"Bruise from my desk."


"Rug burn."

Warner turned and walked towards her case. She grabbed a pen and paper before pulling a chair to sit down.

"Melinda?" Olivia asked. "Could we have our clothes back?"

"No," she crossed her legs. "They're to be incinerated because of possible contaminants."

"Could we at least get a robe or something."

"Sorry, I left that in my other case and time is of the essence," she scribbled in her note pad. "So, when was the last time you two had sex?"

"What?" The two women snapped in unison.

"This is a very dangerous contagion we're dealing with here. One that reacts differently to certain stimuli. So, please, answer the question."

"We're not having sex," Alex growled.

"With each other or period?"


"..wait, each other."

"Ladies, I am a professional. And I'm not stupid. The bite mark on the esteemed ADA's left buttock," she pointed with a jab of her pen. "Is incredibly similar to the bite mark of one Olivia Benson. The matching pattern on the inside of our sullen Detective's thigh, amazing in its Cabot shaped similarities. So, unless you two are knocking boots with the other's clone, I don't think lying's going to work."

"Fine," Olivia huffed. She knew when she'd been beaten.

"Fine," Alex glanced to Olivia. "We had sex..with each other..last night."

"What time?"

"Around 10pm."

"Was that the exact start of sexual activity or just foreplay?"

"Foreplay," Alex flopped in her chair, wincing at the cold leather. "I guess."

"What kind of foreplay are we talking here? Heavy petting, kissing, role playing, what?"

Olivia gave a questioning glance to Alex before returning her attention to Warner. "All of the above?" She shrugged.

"Okay, could you start from the beginning," she flipped to the next page of her notebook. "And use lots of details. The more specific, the better. For research purposes."

"Of course," Olivia rolled her eyes in frustration.

"Would you like a demonstration?" Alex crossed her arms defiantly across her chest.

"If you think that would help."

Three notepads, two swipes of the ME's steamed up visor and one cool down break later, Warner closed her notepad. "Thank you ladies. This has been most.. illuminating."

"Do you think it'll help?" Olivia asked.

"Oh yea, both of you are fine. Unless either of you are allergic to powdered sugar."

"What?" Olivia placed a hand on Alex's forearm, reacting to the ADA's expression, her patented 'I'm going to kill someone' look blazing from her eyes.

"Oh, I'm sorry? Didn't mention it? They found the contagion. The A/C repairman dropped an expired box of donuts in the air ducts."

"When was this?" Alex growled as both brunette and blonde rose in tandem from their seats. ME Warner nonchalantly increasing her pace as she returned all her tools to her case.

"Oh, I'd say," Warner flipped open her notepad going over the text, "about three orgasms, one shower, a hitchhiker's guide to the g-spot and an experimentation with chocolate pudding ago."

"I'm going to kill her," Olivia muttered.

"Not if I kill her first."

"Ladies?" Warner slowly backed towards the door.

Olivia was the first to move. The faster of the two, she darted around Warner, closing off any chance of exit with a quick turn of the lock. Alex flanked the woman from the front. Her hands immediately going for the zipper on the thick plastic suit.

"You know," Alex grinned, "I've heard stories about medical examiners."

Olivia pressed from behind. Pulling off the ME's mask, she purred into the woman's ear. "Me too, something about science geeks and extensive expertise in anatomy."

"Fine," Warner sighed as the heavy Haz-Mat suit dropped to the ground and the two women began working on her clothes. "The things I do in the name of science."

The End

Return to Law & Order Fiction

Return to Main Page