DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of MGM, Showtime, Gekko etc. No infringement intended.
CHALLENGE: Written as part of the 1001 Nights Challenge - love and loss.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
When All is Said and Done
No one ever mentioned the aftermath of losing a colleague, a confidante, a friend, or a loved one. Instead, everyone spouted all the usual platitudes immortalizing Janet as a true hero, a loyal friend, and a dedicated doctor. Hell, I can't even blame the others for not speaking from their heart as I, too, took the easy way out.
I proclaimed Janet to be my friend, and then eulogized her as the wonderful doctor that she was. And though everything I said was true, I didn't come close to letting the others know the true Janet.
I didn't speak of the Janet who loved unconditionally, never complaining when her lover had to go away on holidays and anniversaries. And not just go away, but leave the damn planet for parts unknown. She bravely let me go, knowing that the distinct possibility always existed that I might not return.
Never in my wildest dreams, did I think I would be the one left behind while she died in battle. It wasn't supposed to be her; it was supposed to be me. I wasn't supposed to be the one left behind.
Pulling her pillow close, I remembered the playful Janet. The one she didn't let many people see. How she loved to mess with Jack's head and the poor man never caught on. Daniel noticed though; he and I shared a laugh at poor Jack's expense on numerous occasions. Oh, how I'm going to miss her wit and humor.
I wiped a tear from my cheek as I recalled the passionate Janet. I'd never been with another who loved me with everything they had. She loved with such intensity that it sometimes scared me, but then we'd hold each other so close and my fears of not loving her as much as she loved me would slowly drift away.
What am I going to do without her? How will I survive?
Closing my eyes, I allowed my exhaustion to overtake my overwhelming sadness. Maybe if I was able to sleep, then my love would visit me in my dreams, and we could be together once again.
Not ready to acknowledge my unfathomable loss, I selfishly drifted into sleep, and soon, my sorrow had turned to joy as my angel walked toward me and took my hand.
Tomorrow, I'd try to face the world without Janet by my side, but for tonight, I wasn't alone. My love had come to save me from my despair.
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