DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters in Degrassi; I'm just taking them out for a bit of fun...
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This takes place shortly after Lexicon of Love pt. 2. Alex and Paige have decided to start dating, and pretty much everyone knows about their budding romance. Added note: Any sentences in italics are the inner thoughts of the characters, but not to be confused with the individual words in italics meant for inflection.
SPOILERS: Lexicon of Love Pts. 1 & 2, and anything before.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
Say It Again
As the sun started to break free of the clouds, a young woman dressed all in black made her way through the side streets that would lead her to school. It's Monday morning, and I am here way too early, Alex thought as she leaned up against a car in the furthest spot of the parking lot in front of Degrassi. She had decided to walk this morning, needing some time to clear her head after having a rough night at home. Taking in a deep breath she closed her eyes, and quietly waited for the only person who she knows will be able to cheer her up just by her presence.
Paige Michalchuk. Just the thought of her name brings a sleepy smile to Alex's face.
Allowing her head to dip back slightly, she begins to daydream about her new girlfriend. Girlfriend. Alex never thought she'd be daydreaming about a girlfriend, yet here she was picturing all of the contours of Paige's face just days after that fateful moment in the hall outside of Alex's apartment. She had actually been thinking about Paige a lot over the past six months, never being able to quite shake the feelings she had for her. Never in my wildest dreams did I think she might have feelings for me too, she thought peacefully smiling to herself. It had only been a few days, but already the two were inseparable while seeming quite comfortable in their new found relationship, and Alex couldn't be happier.
"Whatcha thinkin' about?" Paige asked, as she eagerly walked up to greet the raven haired beauty whom she immediately spotted as the bus pulled into the parking lot. A wide grin spread across Alex's face as she brought her head down to meet Paige's equally wide smile.
"Oh you know, life, death - what not..." She stated while slowly taking off her sunglasses as she met the blonde's intense gaze.
"Really?" Paige asked not believing her. "And was I at all featured in any of this life, death - what not?"
"Hmmm...You might have, but you were definitely not wearing that" Alex teased as she played with the scarf Paige had wrapped around her neck.
"Hey!" Paige cried, as she softly slapped Alex's hand away. "At least I don't look like death warmed over." At this, Alex just rolled her eyes, but Paige pushed on, "And besides, I kind of have to wear this since SOMEONE decided to leave her branding mark on my neck."
Alex mischievously grinned, "I don't seem to recall you objecting at the time." Paige scoffed, but Alex continued "Yeah, I seem to remember SOMEONE'S hands raking through my hair while moaning, Alex, mmm, oh Alex..." she breathlessly imitated the blonde from the afternoon before.
Turning about five different shades of red, Paige could only shyly murmur, "Yeah, well..."
"Yeah, well...?" Alex breathed huskily.
"Yeah well, so I was enjoying myself. Happy now?"
Nodding she replied, "Oh yes, very. I love it when you admit defeat. ," She winked as she pulled Paige to her lips.
Reluctantly pulling away, the blonde furthered her questioning of Alex's attire, "So really, what's with all the black anyway?" thinking for a second, she suddenly got a look of panic on her face, "Wait, are you ok? Is everything ok? Are we ok? You're not breaking up with me, are you, because we just started going out and pretty much everyone already knows about us, and you just kissed me, or maybe that was just a kiss off instead, or..." she hurriedly trailed off as Alex placed her hand on Paige's cheek and moved in slowly for a gentle kiss.
"I'm fine. Everything is fine. You and I on the other hand, are great." Paige's face lit up with delight, and she leaned in once again to meet Alex's soft lips with hers.
"Then really, what is with the clothes?" she asked pulling on Alex's hoodie where it was opened slightly revealing the form fitting tank top underneath.
"I just felt like wearing this today. Is it really that much of a fashion crime, cuz, you know," Alex coyly gazed into Paige's eyes, "I could just take it off if you'd rather?..."
Paige smirked, "You think you're pretty cute, don't you?"
"Yeah, pretty much." The two of them laughed, basking in each others presence of one another. "Damn, I wish we didn't have to go to school today, I wish we could just take off and hang out instead."
"Yeah...Take a long walk by the water, and have a picnic in the park..." Alex watched as Paige got a far away look in her eyes.
"And spread a blanket on the ground, and make out under a tree..."
"Yeah.....Wait, what?" Alex started laughing, as Paige slapped her on the arm. "I was being serious!"
"So was I!" Alex laughed, while Paige pretended to pout. "Oh come on, its kind of a nice thought...I mean, yesterday was good...?" she looked at her with pleading eyes.
Paige screwed her face up as if considering this before shyly replying, "Yeah, it definitely was, and it is a really nice thought. Today is going to be such a loooooong day." They longingly looked into each others eyes, just simply enjoying the nearness of one another. Paige went to pull Alex into a hug when she noticed her flinch. "Sweetie, what's wrong?" she asked with a deep look of concern on her face.
"Nothing, I just strained my muscles moving some furniture around last night. It's nothing." Tilting her head to the side with a shy smile tugging at her lips, she continued, "You called me sweetie."
"Yeah I did, and I'm not buying that moving furniture story." Pushing away hands that were trying to keep her from investigating her side, Paige started pulling Alex's hoodie up trying to see what made her wince at her touch.
"Wow, Paige, I've thought about what our first time will be like too, but I didn't expect it to be in the parking lot in front of Degrassi" she joked while trying to lighten the mood.
The blonde paused her searching to look up at her girlfriend, "Not funny."
"It was a little funny..." Alex warily smiled.
"Oh my god, Alex! What happened?!" Paige recoiled in horror at the very large and dark bruise she had on her side. "Who did this to you? Was it Chad?" The look of concern washing over her face soon turned to anger, making her furious with wrath for the person who dare lay a hand on her.
"Its ok, its no big deal. Just another casualty of living at my place. After it happened, I went and spent the night at a women's shelter." Seeing the mixture of emotions running across her face, Alex quietly tried to reassure her, "Really, I'm ok."
Still full of rage and concern, the blonde questioned "Why didn't you call me last night? You could've stayed with me! You shouldn't have to live like this - no one should have to live like this." Paige motioned to the bruise, and then looked back up at Alex, "That's it, you're spending the night at my place. We'll stop by your apartment after school and pick up some of your clothes, and you'll stay with me." She could see Alex was about to protest, but interrupted her before she could say anything, "Case closed, no arguments, so don't even bother objecting, and what do you mean you have thought about what our first time would be like??" Alex's words suddenly came flashing back in a rush of fear and genuine excitement.
Alex started laughing, "What, you mean to tell me you have never thought about it? Even after yesterday?"
Paige suddenly became very aware of the brown eyes burning into her flesh, "I, well, we..." she stammered as Alex continued to laugh, very much enjoying the reaction she was eliciting from the blonde. Paige looked at her with feigned anger, "It's just, we haven't been going out for very long, and to be honest I haven't even thought about it." Alex looked at her sideways, not believing her for a second. "Ok, ok - so maybe, I....Oh look, its Marco!" she nervously cried out trying desperately to change the subject.
"No, no, no, no, Michalchuk - don't even think you are going to change the subject on me," she bantered, grabbing hold of Paige's arm before she could run off. But it was too late; Marco was making his way over to the girls, greeting them cheerfully as he arrived by their sides.
"Good morning, love birds."
"Morning, Marco!" Paige gleefully exclaimed, thrilled he unknowingly saved the day.
Alex on the other hand was still intently looking at Paige, but turned to greet Marco as well, "Hey Marco."
"So, how were your weekends? Good, I'm guessing..." Marco teased as he looked at his friends, and noticed a bit of what looked to be a hickey peaking out from underneath Paige's scarf.
"Good" the girls said in unison, while Paige fidgeted and Alex smirked.
"So, we should go inside, it's almost time for classes to start," she pushed passed trying to make sure she didn't get caught in Alex's line of questioning again. The three friends started making their way into school, along the way saying their good mornings to other friends, and stopping just inside the atrium before going their separate ways.
"Ok, so I'll see you two in class later," Alex said before leaning over to whisper
seductively in her girlfriend's ear, "Oh, and Paige - it's not a question of what it
would be like, but rather what it will be like..." With that, she turned and walked off,
leaving a blushing blonde, and a questioning Marco.
Paige spent most of the morning thinking about Alex, and more importantly, about what she had whispered as they were saying their goodbyes in the atrium.
She's thought about what our first time will be like, Paige mused to herself while pretending to take notes for class. How long has she been thinking about it? And how long has she been thinking about me? If it had been a while, I guess it would make sense since she did always seem kind of jealous any time I mentioned Matt's name. She also sort of seemed kind of happy when he broke up with me. Of course she felt bad for me, but was she thinking in the back of her mind that it might be her chance then? When I met her mom, she said that Alex talked about me all the time, so why did it take her so long to let me know how she felt? I wonder if Emily knows about us? Did she know that night how Alex felt about me? Did I even know how I felt about Alex?
Paige was scrunching up her face as she completely lost herself in her thoughts while the teacher droned on, when suddenly she felt very aware of her surroundings and as though she had a pair of eyes watching her. Glancing to her left, she found Hazel intently looking at her. As she mouthed the words, what is going on with you? to the blonde, Paige realized her friend had been trying to get her attention for several minutes. Nothing, I'm fine she mouthed back hoping it would suffice, but Hazel just shook her head in disbelief, returning her attention back to the teacher.
Paige suddenly felt uneasy and wondered how long she had been zoning out. Looking down at her notebook she noticed she had been absent mindedly doodling Alex's name all over it, and encircling it with little hearts.
She hadn't really gotten around to telling Hazel that she and the dark beauty were now an item, but she hadn't really tried keeping it a secret either. She just kind of hoped Hazel would find out on her own like so many others had, thereby letting the blonde off the hook to explain what it was she saw in Alex.
I really shouldn't have to defend her to my friends anyway. If they'd only see her the way I do, they'd love her. Love. Did I just say that? Do I love Alex? Of course as a friend, but more than that...Am I in love with her? I guess if someone were to ask me at this moment, I would have to say - *RING*
Since she hadn't been paying attention, Paige didn't realize how close to the end of the class hour it had become. She quickly grabbed her books, trying desperately to escape the questions she knew she was going to get from Hazel.
"Paige!" Crap, the blonde thought in her efforts to race out of class.
Turning with a plastered smile on her face like nothing was out of the ordinary, she says in an all too high of a pitch, "Hazel! What's up?"
"That's just what I was about to ask you. What is with you, you have been totally out of it all morning? Have you been smoking weed again?"
"What?! No!" Paige screeched, then realized a lot of people had turned and gawked at her. Lowering her voice, she continued "No, I haven't been smoking anything. I've just had a lot on my mind is all. It's nothing. I'm fine," she pleaded with the girl to leave it be, but Hazel just kept looking at her skeptically. "Ok, look, you're gonna find out soon enough anyway..." taking in a deep breath, she hurriedly says "Alex and I are dating."
Marco found Alex perched on one of the tables by a computer in the media lab when he walked in for class. There was still about 10 minutes before it started which gave him just enough time to catch up with the blonde's other half before she herself showed up.
"So Alex, how's it going playing on this side of the fence?" he teased with a big grin while pulling up a chair next to her.
She rolled her eyes in mock annoyance, and set her notebook down. "If what you're really asking is if I'm happy, then yes I am. However, if you had told me last year that I would be dating the caption of the Spirit Squad, I would've thought you had spent a little too much time putting highlights in your hair."
"These are natural..." he quietly murmured while moving a stray strand of hair behind his ear. Alex just laughed and shook her head. "But seriously, are you happy?"
She nodded with a genuine smile "Yeah, I really am. For the first time in a really long time. And better yet, I feel I can totally trust her, unlike Jay. She really means a lot to me..." trailing off Alex finds herself picturing Paige's face and smiling inwardly to herself, which doesn't go unnoticed by Marco.
"You seem really at peace," this got a questioning sideways glance from her, so he then explained, "What I mean is, since you and Paige have gotten closer, it just seems that all of the outside chaos going on around you has been affecting you less. You're more at peace, and go with the flow..."
She laughed at this, and then nodded agreeing, "Yeah I guess now that you mention it, I do feel like I can handle things better. She's been a positive influence on me, and my life."
"And you have been for her too, you know."
"You think so?"
"Most definitely. You've grounded her, and made her realize she doesn't float above anyone."
Alex looked down pondering this for a moment before replying, "Well, one thing I know for sure is, I don't want to screw this up."
"Screw what up?" Paige cheerfully asked as she walked into the room, prompting an instantaneous smile on the lips of her girlfriend.
"Hey, there's my girl!"
The blonde's grin widened at this, but playfully she changed her smile to that of a furrowed brow. "Your girl? I don't remember belonging to anyone but myself."
Playing along, Alex replied with a smirk tugging at her lips, "You're absolutely right. You belong to no one. I apologize, I didn't mean it."
"Neither did I, say it again!" Paige cheered in an exuberant tone.
"My girl" Alex beamed, as the two girls smiled into each other's eyes, savoring the moment as everything went on around them.
Not being able to hold back any longer, Marco broke the spell with feigned disgust, "Ugh, you two are really starting to test my gag reflexes."
"Shut up!" the two cried in unison, both slapping him on the arm as they took their respective seats at a computer while Mr. Simpson began his lecture.
The rest of the day passed without much event, and the new couple finally found each other free for the day. They walked hand in hand on their way to the bus stop, Paige going on nonstop about Spirit Squad and how Darcy, Manny, and Hazel had all acted weird about the news concerning their budding romance.
"I just don't get what their issue is! I mean, they could care less who everyone else dates and yet I proclaim that you and I are dating and suddenly I'm this big freak!" Paige huffed in an exasperated sigh of disgust.
"Just give them time, I'm sure they will come around" Alex soothed as she lightly rubbed Paige's hand with her thumb. Despite the fact that the blonde had practically ran up to her at the end of school, she was still a little worried that Paige would only take this treatment from her friends and enemies for so long. "I know things are rough now, but I'm sure it will get better with time" it was almost more of a question than a statement, and the other girl caught on.
"Don't worry, hun, you are more than worth going through this for" she cooed while giving the hand in hers a reassuring squeeze. They smiled at each other for a moment, caught up in the feeling of new love.
"How about we go to the park for a while before heading over to my apartment?" Alex urged, while pulling Paige off in another direction away from the bus stop.
Sensing something was up, yet not wanting to turn her girlfriend down for a bit of cuddling in the park, Paige readily accepted. "Sure!"
They walked in comfortable silence through the trees and benches until they found a quiet place away from the rest of the park goers. After giving Paige a serious case of puppy dog eyes, the blonde finally gave in and agreed to sit on the ground instead of a bench. Noticing her extreme concern about getting grass stains on her pants, Alex couldn't help but laugh to herself and finally patted her lap for Paige to sit down.
"I'll crush your legs," she said as she looked down into the brown eyes gazing back up at her.
Alex in turn rolled her eyes saying, "Oh please, you are not going to crush my legs. Now just sit." Gingerly she lowered herself into her girlfriend's lap and felt her favorite arms wrap around her waist, and she easily melted into the touch while leaning back into Alex's form.
"Mmm, this is nice. I wish every day could end like this."
"The day isn't over yet," Alex mumbled into Paige's hair as she rested her chin on her shoulder and breathed in her scent which was a combination of shampoo, lip gloss, and perfume.
Smiling happily she simply stated, "You got me there."
"I got you here too," she said as she gently pulled her girlfriend's hair to the side and kissed the same love spot she had created the afternoon before.
With a giddy laugh Paige replied, "You can be so cute when you want to be."
"Nuh uh!" Alex protested into the blonde's neck.
"Yeah huh!" she giggled. "I like it. It looks good on you."
"You'd look good on me too..."
"Sorry, it just popped out!" now it was her turn to start laughing at the startled blonde in her lap. "Still think I'm cute?"
Grumbling in mock protest, she just leaned further into her girlfriend's lips as they continued their admiration of her increasingly flushed skin. With thoughts of their liaisons just 24 hours earlier, she finally couldn't stand it any longer, and turned in Alex's arms and kissed her passionately practically pushing her to the ground in the process. Alex's eyebrows first went up in surprise as Paige pushed into her with such fervor, but she quickly regained herself and pressed back with equal fire. It wasn't until they heard people walking by that they finally broke apart, both breathing heavily and smiling wildly into each other's eyes with only a small space between them. Alex knew this was her moment, "You remember the conversation we were having this morning?"
Paige knew exactly where Alex was going with this question, but in an effort to distract her she went back into her previous position of leaning into her and instead decided to bring up a different conversation. "You mean the one where I asked you if you would consider moving to Kingston with me if I get into Banting?" She couldn't see her girl rolling her eyes, but she knew that was exactly what she was doing as she felt her practically flop her chin back onto her shoulder.
"Uh, no, that would not be the conversation I was talking about."
"Well have you given it any thought? I think it would be a lot of fun to get a cozy little place together " she interjected before Alex could continue.
"Paige, you asked me just this morning in class. When was I supposed to be giving it any thought? And besides, that's months away."
"You don't think we'll still be together by graduation?" she nervously asked as she put her hands over the top of Alex's while intertwining their fingers and pulling them closer to her.
Sighing and pulling her body in closer she replied, "That's not what I mean, and anyway you might be completely sick of me by then."
This time it was Paige's turn to roll her eyes, "Please, for me - think about it?"
"I'll think about it if we can continue the conversation I was talking about before you tried to distract me."
"What exactly do you want to talk about? You're still wondering if I have thought about what our first time together will be like?" She could feel Alex's chin move up and down signaling she was saying yes. "Fine, but you promise you'll think about Kingston?" She felt her chin go up and down again. Taking in a deep breath, she said in a very quite and shy voice, "I have."
After spending nearly two hours in the park, the couple finally decided to make their way to Alex's apartment so she could throw some things into a duffel bag for the night. As they got up to leave, Paige immediately sensed the sudden change in the air around Alex and knew something was up. "What's wrong, sweetie?" she asked as she took the raven haired girl's hand in hers.
"What makes you think something's wrong?" she said cooly as if nothing was bothering her.
Paige pulled on her hand to get her to stop and face her. "Alex, I think I know you well enough by now to tell when you've got something on your mind." Alex looked down at their joined hands, but said nothing. Paige in turn lightly massaged the fingers she held so delicately, and softly prompted "What is it? Does it have something to do with the bruise on your side?" Still no response, but she could feel Alex tense at the mention of the bruise. "Does the cause of the bruise have something to do with us?" After a moment Alex lifted her head just slightly to reveal tears beginning to form in her eyes. "Oh sweetie" Paige breathed as she pulled her girlfriend into a tight embrace, and could feel Alex bury her head into her neck once again, only this time for comfort rather than desire. Reluctantly pulling away, Paige continued to gently ask "Did you tell your mom about us?"
Alex shook her head, "No, I didn't have a chance."
"Didn't have a chance? Who could have told her?" All at once it came flashing back to her. "Jay! That asshole!"
Alex closed her eyes briefly and nodded, "The three of them were all waiting for me when I got home for work last night as if they were on some kind of holy intervention. Jay was hoping that by getting my mom and Chad involved that I would suddenly realize I wasn't into you, and come back to him. My mom seemed less concerned about it, but Chad was pissed. And drunk."
"Oh Alex" Paige breathed in, scared of what she would say next.
"My mom tried to stop him. Even Jay stepped in trying to get him off of me." She held her breath for a moment, then acted as if she was shaking it off. "You know, it doesn't matter. It's over."
"Of course it matters! He should be locked away!" Paige was furious with anger and pain seeing Alex this way.
She just shook her head, "It won't happen, my mom will just defend him, and knowing Jay, he will too. Let's just get over there before Chad gets off of work and get my stuff, and get back to your place."
"He shouldn't just keep getting away with this! Something should be done about it!"
"Paige, just let it go." She could see her girlfriend was about to say something more, but with her eyes she pleaded for her to drop it.
"Fine, but you better bring enough clothes for the week because I'm not letting you go back there for a while."
Alex could see she was serious and that there was no changing her mind. She could also see the deep level of concern in her eyes, as well as feel how much Paige cared about her. "What about your parents? You think they're really going to want me around that much?"
"I'll handle my parents, don't worry about them." She reassured her as well as she could, while taking a hand back in hers. Alex had a feeling that Paige had her parents wrapped around her little finger like she seemed to have everyone else, and calmly sighed in relief that she would somehow take care of everything.
The girls were able to get Alex's things together for the week without running into her mom or Chad. In a way, Paige was somewhat disappointed about this because she was still fuming with anger when they arrived at the apartment, and she was rather hoping to share a piece of her mind with the man who had hurt her girlfriend, and the woman who refused to defend her. Alex, on the other hand, felt as though she hadn't taken in a breath until they had gotten back on the bus headed for Paige's house. She had a feeling that the blonde was wanting a confrontation, and was so relieved when nothing happened.
Before leaving the apartment, Alex left her mother a note that simply stated:
Staying somewhere safe for the week.
She knew the vagueness of the note might hurt her, but at the same time, her mom must realize how much last night had hurt her.
Not much was said on the way to Paige's house. They simply sat in tense silence, both with so much on their minds. Despite the fear she had just faced at her apartment, Alex's mind couldn't help but stray to the blonde sitting next to her.
I don't understand her. All of this crap I'm going through, why would she want to be thrown into the middle of it? Why doesn't she just tell me that all of this is too much reality for her, and leave? Why does she even like me?
Her eyes searched over the girl's face for answers, but instead she just saw all that was Paige - the girl she was fast falling in love with.
As Alex nervously sat on Paige's bed, she could hear three faint voices floating up to the room. Though she couldn't hear the whole conversation, every once in a while she would hear a sentence or two. At one point she heard Paige's mother ask, "Where is she going to sleep?" Alex couldn't hear the answer, but she heard something about Dylan's room, and secretly her heart sank. She was rather hoping to get some bed cuddling in with Paige, if for no other reason than for comfort and the feeling of safety. She also wondered if Paige was telling them about their new relationship. That would not only make a huge difference of whether they let her stay, but also where she sleeps.
She had been tensely sitting in her girlfriend's room, fidgeting, for nearly 15 minutes before she heard footsteps on the stairs. Soon the blonde's flushed face appeared in the doorway. She flopped down on the bed next to Alex, and kissed her lightly on the lips. "It's all set."
"I can stay?" Paige gleefully nodded. "Really?"
"Really!" Alex leaned in and kissed her favorite lips.
"You're amazing" she sighed in relief.
"Yeah I know. It just saddens me to think you even doubted me for a second" she teased while putting her arm around Alex's waist.
"Well I've learned my lesson never to doubt you again."
"Good. So, we should get you settled. There is a place in my bathroom for your toothbrush and such, and you can hang your clothes in my closet, and I'll make you a spot in one of my drawers..."
"I know what other set drawers you can make room for me in" Alex mumbled under her breath as she watched Paige bend over in front of her.
"Alex!" Paige immediately stood back up and swiped at her, while Alex easily stepped out of the line of fire and started laughing. "See, this is why you will be sleeping in Dylan's room for the week."
"Damn, so I didn't hear wrong?" it was more of a deflated statement than a question.
"You could hear us downstairs?"
"Not really, but every once in a while I could hear a few words, and I heard Dylan's name mentioned so I just figured it was where I would be sleeping." Paige just nodded as she continued finding places for Alex's things, and being very aware of the dark-brown eyes that were following her every move. "So....Did you tell your parents about us? I mean, I understand if you didn't, but I was just curious cuz I wondered how straight I should be around you when we're around them...." she just trailed off as Paige turned around to look at her, a smile tugging at her lips.
"Seriously?" Alex couldn't believe it, as Paige nodded enthusiastically. "So I'm guessing by the smile on your face that it must have gone ok?"
"Actually, they had figured it out."
Alex looked dumbstruck. "How?! Had you hinted or something?"
"No, I hadn't hinted, or rather, not on purpose anyway. Apparently I had been talking about you non stop, and apparently I sounded a lot like I did when I was first crushing on Spinner and Matt."
"And how long had this been going on before we hooked up?" Alex laughed, deliciously unbelieving this new revelation.
"I don't know exactly, but from they way they acted I've been doing it for quite a while." Paige blushed despite trying her best to seem unfazed by Alex's stunned yet defiant look. "Oh stop your smirking, you were so into me long before I was even thinking about being into you."
Alex started laughing, no longer being able to hold it in. "You've liiiiiiiiiiiiked me for a long time."
"Oh shut up!" She grabbed a pillow off her bed and threw at her giggling girlfriend, which turned out to be just the sort of invitation the raven haired girl needed.
Alex grabbed Paige by the waist and pulled her down onto the bed, and immediately tried to pin her arms. Despite her best efforts, Paige found herself on her back being straddled with her arms pinned above her head. She stared into pools of chocolate, dotted with two increasingly dilating pupils.
"Gotcha!" They were both breathing pretty heavily from the struggle and excitement of so much touching. "Of course, I already had you." Alex smirked at her victory over the blonde.
Paige's mind suddenly flooded with flashes of the worst night of her life, yet she tried her best to remain calm and make a joke, hoping Alex wouldn't notice the change in her. "Yeah, yeah - you had me at hello, now get off of me" she said as she struggled to get out from underneath Alex. She was also trying desperately to hold back the memories and feelings she had worked so hard to forget. Dean. Not a person she wanted to ever be reminded of again, and definitely not by someone she cared so deeply about.
Alex saw the change in her face, and immediately moved off of her. "Paige, I'm sorry. I, I..."
"Thank you." Paige practically jumped off the bed and across the room, brushing at her clothes as if she could also brush away the memories swarming in her head. "I was just about to threaten you with not tucking you in if you didn't get off of me." Paige tried to pretend as though nothing was really wrong, but Alex could see she was visibly shaken.
"Paige, I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel..."
But the blonde cut her off by saying, "Its ok. Really. I don't want to talk about it." She quickly went back to putting things away, while Alex looked on helplessly.
Great Alex, just great. She thought to herself as she stood up to help Paige, all the while doing her best not to touch her in the process. I'm freaking out that I might lose her because of other people, and yet here I am doing a great job of ruining this myself. I'm such an idiot!
They worked in silence, neither looking at each other so Alex didn't see the tears welling up in her girlfriend's eyes. Without a word, Paige walked over to her and wrapped her arms as tightly as she could around her slender form. Though it surprised her, Alex instantly returned the hug, holding onto her as if she was going to break at any moment.
"I'm sorry I freaked out" Paige whispered so quietly Alex could barely hear her.
"No, Paige - I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do anything to frighten you. I would never do anything to hurt you. I'm so sorry."
"Shh..." Paige quieted her by gently placing her fingertips to Alex's lips, then captured them with hers. "I know you wouldn't. I trust you. I really do." She kissed her again, reassuring her new love that it was ok, and would be ok.
They held each other for a few more moments before Paige smiled, signaling things were getting back to normal. "Ok, let's finish up in here and then head downstairs for dinner so the 'rents can ask you a thousand questions and make you feel incredibly uncomfortable."
"Sounds great" Alex stated sarcastically, but in reality, having a regular dinner with people who weren't going to be screaming and throwing things at each other sounded like heaven.
After a slightly uncomfortable dinner, the Michalchuk's suggested they all watch a movie together. Paige and Alex were both hoping to be able to have some alone time, but there really wasn't any way to say no.
After much discussion between Paige and her parents, they finally settled on a film. Alex didn't care one way or another, she was more concerned about wanting to cuddle with her girlfriend but not wanting to do so in front of her parents.
As it turned out, that decision was also made for her. After she had popped the DVD in, Paige sat down next to Alex, grabbed her arm, and put it around her snuggling in comfortably as Alex sat stiffly next to her.
"Would you relax, they don't care" the blonde whispered to her, but Alex was still having a hard time loosening up. It also didn't help that Paige was mindlessly rubbing her arm with her thumb, which was driving Alex crazy.
She didn't think it was possible, but the length of the movie almost seemed to last longer than dinner. Though she didn't have to answer any questions such as, what are your plans for college or what do you think you might major in - those she was used to because of Paige, but having to be that close to her girlfriend and not really being able to touch her was absolute torture. Sweet torture, but torture never the less.
After an excruciating hour and forty-seven minutes, (she was keeping track of the time) they were finally able to head up to Paige's room. Alone.
"How could you stand sitting there all that time?" Alex asked in a huge sigh of relief as she fell onto the blonde's bed.
"What do you mean?" she asked as she sat down next to her, and gently smoothed her silky raven hair behind her ear.
Alex just gazed up at her, getting lost for a moment in those gorgeous green eyes before finally asking, "Didn't you wish we were watching the movie by ourselves so we could actually be ourselves?" She thought for a moment while looking up at Paige, feeling so at peace while the blonde looked down at her with a bemused look on her face while being able to see the inner workings of her girlfriend's mind.
Alex got a far away look on her face as she turned to stare at nothing, feeling suddenly vulnerable and inward. Finally she started again, "I dunno, maybe its just cuz they are your 'rents and I'm so worried about wanting them to like me since I care about you so much and I don't want to give them any reason to want you to stay away from me..."
She turned back to look up at Paige, "Then why don't you do something to shut me up?" Alex raised her eyebrows up and down.
Paige laughed, "You really have a one track mind, don't you?"
"When I'm around you, yes. I can't help it."
"Good thing I find that endearing in you" she said as she leaned down to kiss Alex.
What was meant to be a simple kiss of affection soon turned passionate. Hands began to wander, lips began to travel, and two bodies found each other pressed tightly together.
"Paige, we shouldn't" Alex breathed heavily, as Paige worked to tear her hoodie off while kissing her collarbone.
"What? Why? I thought this is what you wanted?" she huskily breathed back while continuing her attack on Alex's neck.
"It is, believe me, it is. It's just..." regardless of what her mind was telling her, her body kept talking louder, and she trailed off forgetting what she was saying.
After a few moments, Paige finally remembered that Alex was saying something, "It's just what?"
"What's what?" With the help of her girlfriend's talented hands and lips, she was suddenly drawing a blank.
"You were saying something about why we shouldn't be doing this." Paige reminded her while she slipped one of her hands slightly under Alex's tank top causing the other girl to suddenly inhale deeply.
"Yeah, but I'm being a little distracting."
"You're being a lot distracting." She in turn slipped her hand up and into Paige's shirt, caressing and pulling at the flesh on her back.
"So why shouldn't we be doing this?"
"I have no idea" she let escape before pulling Paige into another heated kiss.
Suddenly Alex sat straight up, practically throwing her girlfriend off of the bed. "What was that?!"
Surprised and stunned Paige asked, "What was what? I didn't hear anything."
She moved back in to kiss her, but Alex pulled back saying, "It sounded like your parents."
Paige paused for a moment, listening. "I don't hear anything, I think you're just being paranoid."
"Yeah well it would look pretty bad if they came in here and saw me groping their daughter on her bed."
"You don't hear their daughter complaining do you?" Alex just looked at her with a slightly irritated look. "Its not as if they haven't already figured that there is a high possiblity that that's what we're up to in here."
"Oh god, do you think?" Alex stressfully ran her fingers through her hair.
Paige lightly laughed, she couldn't help it. Alex looked so damn adorable at that moment. "I'm glad you're ejoying my freaking out" the raven haired girl tensely replied.
"I'm sorry, sweetie, you just look incredibly cute right now."
"Oh well I didn't realize that stress is what turned you on, otherwise I would have tried this months ago."
Paige laughed again. "Alex, hun, stop worrying. They've probably gone to bed already." She began to run her hand up and down the girl's arm, which was calming her down with every gentle caress.
"Without checking on us first?" she asked unbelieving and still a bit paranoid.
"I'm not twelve."
"Exactly my point. You're eighteen. And upstairs. Alone. With your girlfriend."
"So let's not waste the moment" the blonde seductively answered while placing the hand that was so tenderly stroking her arm, and placed it on at the edge of Alex's tank top, and slipped a few fingers inside it while teasing the skin on her waist.
She closed her eyes for a moment, but her mind was still trying to protest. "But...Paige...I..."
"Alex, please shut up and put your hands on me."
Her eyes flew open, and she found herself staring into two darkening pools of green that were filled with desire. She pulled Paige into a hungry kiss, and eased her back onto her body.
After several heated moments of hands, and lips, and bodies, Alex pulled back.
"What is it, sweetie?" the blonde asked breathlessly.
"Paige. I have to tell you something" she answered, getting very quiet and shy.
The other girl could hear the seriousness in her voice, and rolled onto her side giving her girlfriend her complete attention. "What is it?" she asked nervously.
Alex looked away for a second, took in a deep breath, then looked deep into her eyes. "Paige. I-I love you." It was so quiet, the blonde could barely hear it.
Her lips curved into a sweet smile as the words wrapped around her. She didn't say anything for a moment as she simply took in the moment, wanting to savor it - memorize it.
Despite the melted look on Paige's face, Alex suddenly felt insecure with her feelings being so raw and out there. "You don't have to say it back, I wasn't expecting you to. And I don't want you to say it if you don't mean it, that would be worse than not saying it. Its just, I've never said it to anyone before and you, and this relationship mean a lot to me, and so I wanted you to be the first I said it to...."
Paige silenced her by kissing her sweetly. "I love you too, Alex."
She felt a sudden rush of relief, joy, excitement - everything fantastic, and her wide grin revealed her emotions. "Really?"
Paige kissed her deeper this time, then softly drew back, "Really."
Alex wrapped her arms around Paige, wanting to thank her, but not being able to say anything else. They held each other for several moments, reveling in what had just happened. It felt like a miracle to Alex.
They began to lightly kiss, just enjoying the softness of each other's lips and the closeness of each other. Their minds running around in thoughts, Paige finally broke the silence. "Alex?"
"Say it again."
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