DISCLAIMER: The characters of Popular are the property of the WB/Touchstone/Ryan Murphy (not really sure who). No copyright infringement intended.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Thanks to the wonderful and utterly fabulous ralst.com, which archives and gives home to such great stories! Here's to another 5000!
CHALLENGE: Written for Passion & Perfection's Big 5000.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
"I've assembled all of you here for an important project. Nixon High has challenged us to a " Principle Krupps was cut off very suddenly and very loudly.
"What? What? What in God's name??" Mary Cherry was wailing and flaying her arms so wildly that Nicole covered her recently coiffed hair and Carmen leaned away in fear she could get a bloody nose.
"Calm down, Mary Cherry. What is wrong with you?" Lily questioned while scowling at the crazed impatient Texan.
"Sorry, y'all I had two Red Bulls this morning during yoga." Mary Cherry wiped her forehead of imaginary sweat.
"As I was saying, Nixon High, that uppity know it all school full of brain dead future fast food cashiers of America " Principle Krupps paused for a moment and surveyed the room. The room was split down the middle, four dark haired students on the left and four blonde hair students on the right. One lone student occupying the middle whose hair could go either way depending on how the light hit it. Off to the side was a menacing teacher. Principle Krupps continued on with his address, " sorry, I meant that other respected learning facility anyway, it's that time of year again where we compete in our time honored tradition of proving Kennedy High is the best school in the district a scavenger hunt."
The room looked at their Principle utterly confused.
"A scavenger hunt? Why that?" the ever questioning journalist of the group asked, "That doesn't make sense."
"It's a time honored tradition apparently. Passed down over generations and decades " Principle Krupps started to answer the question.
"Blah, Blah, Blah is there a prize Krupps?" asked a very impatient and nosy Bobbi Glass.
"Yes, of course. Winner gets voted best school in the district."
"Shouldn't that be judged on test scores, grades, attendance stuff like that?" asked Lily with Sam, Carmen and Harrison right behind her.
"Not necessary. We found years ago all of that data collecting was terribly time consuming. Where as now, all that can be decided in one reckless, dangerous night in a game of chance, dumb luck and highly illegal driving."
"I don't want to be apart of something that is illegal. Count me out," exclaimed Lily turning to leave with Sam, Carmen and Harrison behind her again.
"If you make that choice Ms. Esposito sadly you won't graduate with your class."
"You can't do that!" Sam walked over and angrily stood before Krupps.
"He can, McPherson. So sit your wanna be Amanpour ugly pig tails down." Bobbi Glass pointed her metal pointy finger at Sam who self consciously wondered if pig tails had been the best hair style option for the day.
"If this is a time honored tradition how come none of us have ever heard of it?" asked Harrison.
"Well, usually the participants either get arrested or are never heard from again so I'm not sure there is a display of all the past hunts in the boiler room." All the students look slightly scared around the room.
"Our parents will never sign off on this," Lily felt confident in her remark and stood straighter with her arms crossed.
"Actually, they already have Ms. Esposito." Principle Krupps pulled a folder out from his desk and displayed several documents.
"What?" Even the blondes echoed this sentiment along with the browns.
"All of you were hand picked months ago and permission slips were mailed to your parents and they were all signed and returned. Of course they think all of you will be competing in a quilt making marathon over the weekend up in Big Bear but I can live with that." Principle Krupps gathered the documents and secured them back in his desk.
"Wait until child welfare services hears about this," Lily couldn't hold back her anger any longer.
"You should be flattered. Each of you were hand picked by me and Ms. Glass here. Each of you brings something unique and valuable to this team. For instance, Sam McPherson, research extraordinaire. Harrison John, the sensitive eye." At that exact moment Harrison used his valuables to roll them in his principle's direction.
"Lily Epspito, the fiery tamale who stands for any and every kooky cause."
"Tamale? That's racist," exclaimed the kooky cause lover.
"Nicole Julian, whose evil genius is watched by the FBI and Scotland Yard," Principle Krupps smiled carefully at the fierce blonde.
"Uh, that's because they probably have a list of future criminally insane people and she would be in the top ten along with her side kick Psycho Cherry." Carmen eyed the two troublesome blondes.
"Yes, Mary Cherry who at a moments notice could kill us all," Krupps went forward describing his crack team. The newly assembled team all glanced around each other nervously. "But who can also sniff out a plutonium bomb within a 2 mile radius which is a hugely valuable asset." Mary Cherry nodded knowingly and gave a big thumbs up to Krupps.
"Using my evil watched intellect, I have concluded there is no reason for Large Marge to be here unless our task involves coordinating a chunky girl fashion show." Nicole glared at Carmen.
"No, Carmen is our conscience," corrected Principle Krupps.
"So basically she contributes nothing," Nicole sneered towards the consciously moral brunette while Sugar Daddy blocked Lily and Sam from lunging at Nicole.
"Excellent. See why Sugar Daddy is aboard," pointed out Principle Krupps "peacemaker and body guard."
"Why is the Tuna Melt here?" Mary Cherry questioned.
Principle Krupps looked off to the side and saw April Tuna standing sheepishly and watching everyone else. Principle Krupps shook his head and mentally calculated the number of his students on his hand. "I'm not sure, but she could be useful if we need bait for something." April Tuna smiled at this and saluted the Principle with her unique take on the Star Trek salutation.
"Brooke McQueen " before Principle Krupps could explain the head cheerleader's presence he was interrupted by her close brunette nemesis.
"Because why? Since when does eye candy become part of a strategic team?" Brooke merely sneered at Sam.
"Our homecoming queen is also a national honor society student so another great mind to the team is a plus." This time the sneer was directed at Brooke from Sam.
"The game begins on Friday at 7pm and concludes at noon on Sunday." Principle Krupps stood up to signify the meeting was coming to a close.
"That's a long time sir." Carmen looked to Sam and Lily.
"That's the entire weekend." Brooke said quite shocked.
"What a great observation from the honor student." Sam shoved her hands in her pockets and was so ready to leave the office.
"Don't let me down. Make Kennedy proud," Principle Krupps smiled a swarmy smile.
"Let us down and its Fs for all your mid-terms!" Glass couldn't resist and started to laugh. As the students shuffled out of the room they looked dejected and hopeless.
"Eye candy, huh? I guess that does explain some things." Brooke arched an eyebrow while she drove and Sam quietly sat in the passenger seat with an open book in her lap, on their way to the Palace.
"I was being polite in front of Krupps. That's code for dumb blonde." Sam pretended to be immersed in her calculus book. Brooke wasn't buying it and pushed on.
"Am I more like a chocolate bar or some fruity chewy gummi thing?"
"Sour Patch Kids." Sam rather forcibly turned pages while glaring at the blonde.
"I think that might be you. Sour on the outside and pervy on the inside."
"Changed my mind, you're a Bertie Bott Dirt flavor bean."
"Now there is the nerd reference I was expecting."
"No, wait. White Chocolate Maggots. Yep, that's it."
"You're a Sour Flush Pixy Toilet Plunger and if there was pervy candy you'd be it."
Brooke sped into the Palace driveway and parked the car. Sam exited the car in lightning fast pace and turned to watch Brooke heading indoors.
"What are you talking about?"
"You know exactly what I'm talking about!" Brooke yelled as she entered the kitchen. Jane and Mike looked up from cooking dinner. Sam followed Brooke into the kitchen.
"No, I don't!"
They both saw Jane and Mike watching them with concerned interest. Brooke leaned over so only Sam could hear her.
"You'll thank me for not saying it in front of the p-units." And with that the blonde retreated upstairs to her sanctuary. Sam stood in the kitchen fuming.
"Sam, what are the two of you arguing over now?" Jane stopped cutting vegetables to look sternly at her daughter.
"Nothing. Sorry, Mom." Sam fled the kitchen and headed to her own sanctuary from prying eyes where she could try to figure out how she could convince Brooke she didn't do what the blonde thought she did but what she really did actually do. This caused for major hands running through hair action. It helped with the thought process.
Nicole was flying down the suburban streets with no regards to traffic laws at all while talking on her cell phone.
"There is no way I'm spending all weekend with those nasty browns with nothing to show for it. So maybe at least we could have some fun at their expense."
"Nic, super evil genius what were you thinking?"
"We need to get our hands on that list."
"Ooooh, yeah! A list of what?"
"The list of lame stuff we have to find for this ridiculous hunt you moron."
"How are we going to do that?"
"Operation Angels tonight. Suit up!" Nicole's tires screeched as she made a 180 degree turn. "We are going to make this hunt memorable."
Sam slammed the refrigerator door shut and nearly dropped the orange juice when she saw Brooke on the other side of the door.
"What's your damage?" Sam side stepped Brooke and headed for some counter space.
"I don't cause damage. You do." Brooke reopened the fridge door and grabbed some yogurt.
"What are you so pissed about? Is this the same thing you were rambling on about last night?"
"Just tired of living with a perv."
"What you are talking about?"
"You know pervs? Don't you?"
"I'm sorry I don't know incoherent delusional blonde speak."
"You should try speaking when you walk into a closed room. It's the polite and considerate thing to do!" Brooke went back over to the fridge, got a bottle of water and slammed the door.
"Again, not a clue."
"Liar. Just get it over with Sam. I don't want to hang in suspense when you're going to make fun of me."
"Brooke, I have no idea what you are talking about."
"Well, I guess I'm not the only one who should hang in suspense right, Nomi?" Sam was suddenly frozen with fear, she stood motionless not sure what to do next. Brooke pretended to be eating yogurt.
"Have fun with your delusions." Sam left the kitchen with a seething blonde shooting eye daggers at her back. "This is going to be a fun weekend."
To Be Continued
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