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Semisolid Suspension of Proteins
By ncruuk


"How do we play Sir?" asked Sam, knowing exactly how to play, but deciding it wouldn't do to admit.

"Easy....dump jello shot out of glass on nominated stomach and eat without using your hands," explained Jack in a tone as if to say 'use your imagination Carter!'

"Nominated stomach?" questioned Janet, not entirely sure she was able to keep a straight face, or her impression of innocence for much longer.

"Yeah...someone's gotta be the table...."

"Who Jack?" asked Daniel, wondering how they'd managed to get into this game in the first position, before deciding that, if they were drunk enough to play drinking games involving randomly drawn playing cards, they were drunk enough to do this

"Not Teal'c..."

"Why am I not suitable O'Neil?" rumbled Teal'c, not phased about not being 'table' but wanting to know the reason.

"Junior's house..." explained Jack, gesturing to the Jaffa's stomach - really wasn't going to work for his gag reflex.

"And I can't do it..." continued Jack, lifting his t shirt proudly to reveal his chest hair - no further explanation was required, with Daniel immediately mirroring the gesture and saying,

"Chest hair, can't be me..." with a flash of his own stomach as evidence. Unsurprisingly, all eyes turned to Janet and Sam.

"No Sir....no...."

"C'mon Carter...it's jello..."

Deep in the still sober bit of Janet's brain, she was quietly mumbling that really, if the world was at all normal, her lover's CO shouldn't be rigging drinking games so as to eat jello from her lover's stomach....but it was only mumbling.

"C'mon Sam...." pleaded Daniel, oblivious to the killer point for their argument that was about to be presented.

Chewing on her lip, Sam considered things as best she could, given the lateness of the hour and the ratio of consumption of pizza slices to beer (about 2:5). Something wasn't right about this....hers wasn't the only hairless or pouchless stomach in the room....

"Why not Janet?" The question was out of her mouth before her brain could provide the answer - did she really want her teammates doing body shots on her lover?

"Because the best 'table' is a 'six pack'...." The words were out of Janet's mouth before she could stop them....

"Uh, Janet?" Time seemed to freeze as everyone caught up with Sam's processing of Janet's comment.

"Carter has a six pack?" queried Jack, tilting his head and trying to remember ever seeing his 21C's stomach recently.

"You've done this before?" asked Daniel, blinking hard as he tried to imagine Janet doing something as silly as jello body shots.

"I believe the matter is settled then..." rumbled Teal'c, curious as to what was to come. Heading into the kitchen, the Jaffa set about retrieving the tray of 'vodka enhanced' jello shots Jack had made.

"C'mon Carter, strip off...." taunted Jack gleefully, making a big show of placing a cushion on the floor for Sam to rest her head on.

Shooting her lover what she hoped was a slightly evil glance for getting her into this, Sam obediently removed her shirt, revealing a rather more adventurous underwear selection than she'd normally have worn for a team night 'in' at Jack's house (the fact that it coincided with Janet's downtime had resulted in a reevaluation of her decision) before, ignoring the catcalls from Jack and Daniel, lying down.

"Janet's first..." warned Sam, deciding that, if they were really lucky, the 'boys' might be so distracted by the view as to forget to continue.

"But of course, I am an officer..." explained Jack, lurching drunkenly to his feet as he headed to find a nice blue jello shot for Janet.

"Thank you Sir...." Even when she was about to have body shots done on her in his living room, Sam couldn't bring herself to call him 'Jack'.

"Good thing Sam's the gentleman..." quipped Janet, accepting the suspiciously liquid looking jello from Jack and eying where would be the best place to 'tip' it.

Before anyone could think of a response to that comment, Janet had selected her spot (just a little above and to the left of Sam's navel, about two inches above Sam's really tickilish spot) and dumped the shot glass upside down on her lover's stomach.

"Is that supposed to occur?" asked Teal'c finally, when it was clear no one else was going to say anything.

"Uh, kinda..." explained Daniel, blinking furiously in an attempt to improve his vision.

"Major Carter, is jello not normally stiffer?" asked Teal'c, arching an eyebrow as he noticed Janet's tongue sneak out to catch a rivulet of fruity vodka liquid run down Sam's stomach.

"Yes Teal'c...." breathed Sam, having to concentrate very carefully on not making totally inappropriate sounds given their present company (but entirely appropriate given her lover's activities).

"Then what is the reason for the error?" pressed Teal'c, eager to understand what had gone wrong this time.

"Vodka doesn't break down the colloidal proteins to achieve the semisolid suspension..." As Sam desperately began to try to maintain her remaining shreds of dignity by explaining the physics of jello setting, Daniel and Jack opened another beer each and stood transfixed.

"It's incredible...." observed Daniel, marvelling at what was happening in front of him.

"Two women....gorgeous women..." agreed Jack, enjoying the sight.

"No...not that....I mean..." Daniel gestured at the ladies when he felt Jack's amazed gaze on him, "...not just that..."

"Then what?"

"She really can use physics to...you know...."

"This is Carter..." agreed Jack, taking a swig from his beer, "...somehow I didn't think she'd recite baseball stats...."

The End

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