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ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
Settling in Seattle
By Ann
Now what? I've followed Derek from New York to Seattle to try to fix our marriage even though I know I'm settling for a life I'm not meant to live. We're going through the motions of playing house while not having sex which, by the way, is perfectly fine with me. I'd rather have no sex at all than have sex with anyone male.
Although, if I have to have sex with a man, Derek's not all that bad; problem is that he's just the wrong gender. In this cut throat world of medicine, it pays to do everything politically correct in order to succeed, and I've done everything right. I've played by the rules and settled by living my life with a man. I've just made that one teeny, tiny mistake back in New York.
Everything would have been fine if I hadn't been caught. Derek never came home during the day so I truly thought it would be okay to have my illicit affair in my own bed. I felt as if I deserved to have that one little piece of comfort. Damn it, if I was going to have an orgasm, I wanted it to be in my own fucking bed.
Leave it to Derek and his terrible timing; I was right on the edge, ready to shout to the heavens until I caught a glimpse of him standing in the doorway with his mouth agape. I truly thought he was going to have a heart attack right there on the spot.
To this day, I don't know what surprised him more; the fact that I was writhing under someone's touch as I never did with him or that Beth Jordan had her head between my legs.
Of course, he told everyone that I slept with his best friend, Mark, instead of his surgical nurse, Beth. I had the perfect opportunity to end both my marriage and the lie I was living, but I got scared. I was afraid of losing the most important thing in my life, my career.
So here I am living in a shitty trailer trying to woo my husband back into my arms where I don't want him to be. I have to admit that I am so very grateful to Meredith Grey for sleeping with Derek. Now, it's me that plays the role of scorned wife, and it's a much better part that's for sure.
Maybe we can continue this little triangle for awhile longer or at least until I get over this attraction I have for Izzie Stevens. Damn but the woman is absolutely gorgeous, and the hottest thing I've seen in quite some time, Beth included.
I'll just go on with my current routine and do my job while pretending to be interested in my marriage and not the blonde intern. Yes, that's exactly what I'll do. I've gotten this far by settling, what's a few more years anyway.
The End