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JJ tries running, tries putting one foot in front of the other at an increased speed, tries to get away, to clear her mind.
She needs a change.
Another town, another life, another chance to change everything she ever has done, is doing, and will do.
Somehow, in her dictionary, the phrase "needing a change" means the same thing as "Emily Prentiss."
She's not sure how it happened the first time. There was a bad case, a heart-tugger that had her locked in the plane's restroom, crying so hard she wasn't sure if she was shaking with sobs, or because of the turbulence. It had been Emily who forced the door open when the plane landed, Emily who took her home and proceeded to tuck her into bed.
It had been Emily that she had grabbed, pressed herself flush against the brunette. It had been Emily whose tongue tangled with hers, Emily's hands that wandered under her jacket purposefully. It had been Emily she had woken up next to in the morning.
Since then, she's been addicted to Emily, caught up in the sensation of the older Agent.
It's raining the night she decides to run. She's not just running from the blood and horror of her job or her mess of a personal life.
This time, she's running from everything.
This means Emily Prentiss.
She's going to run for the hills, head straight for the Interstate, drive until she's out of gas, hitch until she's out of the state. Whatever it takes, JJ is going to get away from the chaos she's managed to land herself in.
And still, when her car reaches the state line, just as she's about to finally gather enough courage to get on with her life, she breaks.
She turns the car around and goes home; goes back to Emily.
She thinks that she's going to be fine without Emily, that she'll stop being so needy, so dependent.
But she always turns the car around.
This time, she sits outside Emily's building, staring up at the lit apartment, seeing the shadow of Emily pace back and forth. Emily's waiting for her, but she's not sure of she wants to go up, she's not sure if she wants to succumb to "change," to Emily.
So instead, she sits in her car until the night passes (oh so slowly) and the sun rises. Emily's shadow never wavers, never stops. Emily will wait for her forever.
And JJ shatters.
Her soul breaks into pieces, little sections chipping away each time Emily's form stops for moments at a time, only to start pacing again.
She knows she should go upstairs; Emily is probably out of her mind with worry. For JJ, it's sex and comfort. For Emily, their thing, it's love.
JJ's resolve, it shatters.
She gets out of the car and slowly makes her way to Emily. By the time she reaches the door, she already has her key out and ready. When she pushes the door open, and all the movement in the apartment ceases, when she gets her first up-close look at Emily, she shatters again.
There's Emily, practically in pieces. With each step JJ takes, Emily breaks down a little more.
JJ shatters a little more.
She always turns the car around, she muses.
No one said it wasn't the right thing to do.
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