DISCLAIMER: This is an original story that I have written.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This story originated from a painful time, a time I'd like to share with others so they too can understand the pain of loving. This story was inspired by someone very special to me, who will never be mine.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.

She, Perfection, Not Mine


How can we be so alike, yet so different? We be of the same race, the same class of elves, yet in a way, in many ways, not the same…

It's strange how I, or anyone, could love one person with our entire being and not be shown any feelings of the kind in return. For me she is my life, my reason for living. She is everything I could ever hope for in a life-long partner. Her smile, her eyes and the way her pointed ears blush at the mention of anything sexual. I smile at the thought of her, at the thought of her and I.

I could go on for hours about her eyes; the deep brown penetrating glances that she would so often throw my way. Her look would sear right through my very soul, so intense. The deep brown of her eyes are tinted with slight red, only visible to those who truly loved her as I did.

Unfortunately, for I more than them, the Council of Ten did not allow those of the same sex to be together. She and I being both female prohibited us from being truly each others. Although we weren't together, I knew, I know we are meant to be, we will be. Not even the Council of Ten will stop us when the time is right. She, perfection, all that is beauty, will be mine.

I saw her the other day. It was so recent. Elves live many centuries, so a so called 'week' isn't that much time to us. I guess it was a week and a half ago. We are in the same guild - 'Elementalists'. We are both of the Aquarius type, therefore of the same class. We all have to attend the guild at least four times a week.

She sat there, so still, so relaxed, so taunting… She always does that. Taunt me. She smiles at me, or winks, or even just looks at me. Always taunting, always teasing me. Challenging me to go that one step further and prove my love to her with some simple act. One day I will…

There she is! Walking towards me, her brown hair tucked behind those wonderfully pointed ears! She's looking right at me with those deep soulful eyes! What? What! Why didn't say something? Why didn't she stop? Why did she just walk past me? No! This cant be! It was me! It had to be me! It couldn't be. No… not him… anyone but him… I don't understand. It was me. It had to be me. This cannot be. I must correct it.

They parade around like the own the place, like I don't exist. It's just rude! Plain outright rude! They have no regard for how I feel, how she must feel. I need to speak to her, explain myself, explain herself. Tomorrow. Yes, tomorrow. We should both be here, he shouldn't. It would be bad… wrong, if he was.

"Excuse me… Why?" I asked her plain and simple.

She looked confused. "Why what?"

"Why don't you love me?" I couldn't stop a tear from streaming down my cheek.

"I… I… I don't even know you. And even if I did, I couldn't, we couldn't… it's not right."

"Not right? Not right? But I love you! We were meant to be together! Can't you see that? Can't you see that you are meant to love me?"

"No I can't see that! I'm sorry but I just don't see that. I never will…" she looked at me with a strange expression… could it be… pity? Pity? Why did she have to pity me?

She walked away. She just turned her back and walked away. Away from me, away from our love… away to him…

I'm lost… drifting through existence. I left the guild that day and never returned. I left the City of Ten and never returned. I hid among the dark elves, pretending to be one of them, killing humans, taking out my anger on their frail useless lives.

I was angry, hurt, suffering. I still am… I always will be…

She was happy with him. Part of me is glad she was happy, another part isn't. To this day I still don't understand how she couldn't feel the same. If she did I would never know. I don't know whether I want to anymore. Or maybe I do? I don't know…

I do know that I still love her. I always will. She was just so… so… loveable - To the point of perfection, to the point of her perfect pointed ears… She is perfection, but she is not mine.

The End

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