Kipling, for the past decade, has served Runway as its fashion director and de-facto second-in-command under the exacting standards of Ms. Priestly. Kipling's salary and stock option package is rumored to be equivalent to $2,000,000 (£1,117,293) per annum. Ms. Priestly's severance package is rumored to be valued at nearly five times as much.

Andy Go Fug

It looks like All-American girl Andy Sachs has bounced back nicely after her private life was recently trashed all over the tabloids. We're glad to see her time at Runway was not totally wasted as she showed up for her first day on the job as an assistant news editor for GO Magazine, the hippest gay girl rag in the tri-state area.

The pink pumps are a nice touch when you're New York's latest leading lipstick lesbian, but we're sure she borrowed the ring from her roommate, the divine Nigel Kipling. We can only hope she borrows something a bit more dressy for her second day on the job…perhaps one of Nige's off-the-shoulder evening gowns? Go ahead Andy, he won't mind. He's got dozens.

CLAIRE Danes waiting for her car outside the Bryant Park Hotel…ANDREA Sachs enjoying the day at the Central Park Zoo with the Priestly twins…DEREK Jeeter sitting on the Starbucks patio with a friend…MADONNA dining at Freeman's Restaurant with hubby Guy.

Elias-Clarke Profits Down

Forced to rush out its quarterly results by a free-falling stock price, Manhattan publishing firm Elias-Clarke reported a 7.7% profit decline. The New York based company's chairman Irv Ravitz said plans are in the works to take advantage of new technologies which will propel Elias-Clarke into the digital age. However, sources at Goldman Sachs claim the firm already has established an online presence and the current unease is caused by the recent turmoil surrounding Elias-Clarke's flagship publication and cash-cow, Runway magazine.

Since taking over in 1985, Mr. Ravitz has propelled Elias-Clarke to unprecedented heights, however that growth has also been attributed to his partnership with Miranda Priestly, Runway's editor-in-chief who ruled the magazine with an iron fist until her dismissal at the hands of Mr. Ravitz in response to allegations of misconduct.

"Those are just rumors; no one has come forward with a shred of evidence," S. Ford Kline at Goldman Sachs told the Financial Times. "Irv reacted without thinking and now the entire company – and their stockholders – are paying for his mistake. The fact is that advertisers, designers and contributors have jumped Runway's ship in droves. No one will touch it without Miranda Priestly on board. Not to say Kipling's not doing a good job…but there's only so much he can do when he has nothing to work with."

"The upcoming issue is certainly looking a bit bare," Nigel Kipling confirmed when asked. "Well, we're doing our best. Honestly though, not I, nor anyone else, can do what Miranda does."

Irv Ravitz was unavailable for comment.

Anchor: Eyewitness News On-the-Street reporter Caryn Williams caught up with Greg Hanrahan, the father of Miranda Priestly's daughters, while he was attending the New York premiere of the latest James Bond thriller.

CW: What do you think of your ex-wife's relationship with the much younger Andrea Sachs?

GH (smiling broadly): Andy's a terrific gal. I've had dinner with them a few times and she really seems to make Miranda happy. That's all I've ever wanted for Miranda. Who cares how old Andy is? (chuckles) My bet is she's gonna need all that youthful energy just to keep up with Miranda.

CW: How do your daughters feel about it?

GH: They adore Andy as well and she's really good with them.

CW: So no truth to the rumors that you're planning on suing for full custody of the children?

GH (scoffing): Nonsense! Look, this is the 21st century. People have the right to be whoever they are and love whoever they want. I just hope the rest of the world can come to terms with that. Miranda is the best mother the girls could have. We've had our differences in the past, but this is not one of them.

CW: What about the rumors involving Miranda taking advantage of her assistants?

GH: Um, remind me again where those particular rumors appeared?

CW: The National Enquirer.

GH: Oh yeah, right. (shrugs) Well...enough said, then.

CW: Won't her being out of work affect the girls and their financial security?

GH (laughing): If you think Miranda's beaten, you people have seen nothing yet. You don't notice any pleasantly plump songstresses around, do you?

CW (looking around pointedly and then back to the camera): If what Greg Hanrahan implies is true, then I for one look forward to seeing the next act. This is Caryn Williams reporting from On the Street.

Divorced

Miranda Priestly, from Stephen Tomlinson of JPMorgan Chase. Tomlinson originally sued for divorce based on adultery, but changed the decree when evidence surfaced that he was carrying on his own affair with Philadelphia socialite Tracy Lord. The Court of New York granted the uncontested divorce last week.

Priestly to the Rescue

In what could only be called a modern-day showdown reminiscent of the old west, the Elias-Clarke board of directors, in response to pressure from stockholders, demanded company president Irv Ravitz re-hire fashion editor Miranda Priestly. Insiders told Fortune that Priestly refused to return until she was issued a formal apology from Ravitz, who also refused. The board of directors immediately ousted Ravitz and voted to bring Priestly back to save the ailing Runway magazine.

When asked if the magazine had suffered in her absence, Priestly replied, "Nigel did a wonderful job while I was away, considering what he had to work with. His hands were tied. However, thanks to his efforts the next issue will be on time and our best ever."

Priestly confirmed that Kipling will remain at Runway with increased responsibility as editor-at-large. When asked if the rumor regarding the apology was true, Priestly refused to comment. Irv Ravitz remains unavailable for comment and is said to be vacationing aboard his yacht.

From Films to Fashion

EVEN after Katie Holmes in "All My Sons," Hollywood's march to Broadway continues. Next up in movie actresses tasting life upon the wicked stage will be Julia Stiles of all those Bourne jobs – "The Bourne Ultimatum," "The Bourne Identity," "The Bourne Supremacy," The Bourne Whatever.

...

And finally, the fashion social event of the season, Runway's benefit at the Metropolitan Museum of Art hosted by the lovely Miranda Priestly brought forth several surprises. In an industry noted for its influence to and from the gay community, even the fashionista elite were stunned when Miranda was escorted to the Ball on the arm of the equally lovely Andrea Sachs, up and coming journalist already making a splash on the New York literary scene. Unabashedly strolling down the red carpet, the two belles of the ball answered questions freely and openly.

Inside, I cornered the couple for a few questions of my own, such as whether their affair started while Miranda was still married and Andrea still under her employ and living with someone.

"Well, yes," Miranda admitted. "Certainly not one of my finest decisions, I'll admit, but I was simply so smitten with Andrea I do not know what came over me. Thankfully things worked out for everyone concerned."

"And Nate and I were already having problems," Andrea added. "When I got the job at Runway, we started to grow apart. Not that it's a bad thing, just something that happens to people."

When I asked Miranda about the sordid rumors regarding her taking advantage of her assistants over the years, the couple shared a curious look.

"I admit I certainly have harassed my employees over the years," Miranda said. "It's no secret that I'm…difficult to work for. But I never forced anyone into doing anything they did not wish to do. And that my former assistants have all proven to be extremely loyal as well as grateful for my continued patronage to their careers – well, that should speak for itself."

I concluded by asking about plans for their future.

"Well, Andrea and I are preparing for Paris, of course," Miranda said, meaning the Paris Fashion Week, the most important time in the industry. "She'll be covering the event on assignment for her magazine."

Andrea's smile at Miranda was stunning. "And Miranda will be ruling the event as usual," she quipped. "After that, I'm hoping to finish up a book I'm working on."

Any wedding plans for the future, I asked.

"Certainly not!" Miranda spit out appalled, while Andrea laughed.

"Well, certainly not until the state of New York comes to its senses and grants equal rights to everyone," Andrea said. "After that we'll see."

Miranda's face at this declaration made even me laugh.

Only in New York, kids, only in New York.

Best Fugs Forever

What can we say? We absolutely adore it when good looking women simply know how to dress. Of course, with Miranda Priestly watching over them, Emily Charleton and Andrea Sachs have no problems getting in good with the designers.

Here the two are waiting backstage to present an award at the LA Fashion Awards event. Emily, Miranda's former Girl Friday and newly-promoted assistant fashion director – who we're told helped Nigel Kipling keep Runway afloat while Miranda was absent – looks totally modern in her Calvin Klein. Andy, Miranda's hot lesbian lover, simply screams classic with her Valentino. We're guessing they're just a few little things they picked up while attending the Fashion Week shows in Paris. You go, girls!

Announcer: Today on Ellen...

Gold medal swimmer JASON LEZAK, author ANDREA SACHS and BRIAN AUSTIN GREEN.

Ellen: Okay, my next guest is a journalist for GO Magazine and she's recently published her first book called A More Perfect Union: A Collection of Essays on Equal Rights. So let's welcome Andrea Sachs.

(Crowd Cheers. Andy comes out with a big smile and dances a few moments with Ellen and then they sit.)

Ellen: So…Andrea.

Andy: Andy, please.

Ellen: Okay, Andy. Not Ahn-dray-a?

Andy (Laughing): No, only one person calls me that. Oh my god, this is great. Thanks so much for having me.

Ellen: No, thank you. Gosh, so tell me, did you ever think your life would take this kind of turn?

Andy: No, I really didn't. Okay, maybe when thinking about my career back at Northwestern I might have fantasized about becoming famous, but I certainly never imagined the way I would become famous. Not exactly what I had in mind, you know?

Ellen: Yeah…it certainly was…out there for the entire world to see.

Andy (Covering face): Oh my god, you have no idea. (Pause) Okay, so maybe you do, but at least you were on Time magazine. They're a lot nicer over there than at the Post.

Ellen (Laughing): Yeah, and you didn't exactly have a choice. It was like wham, bam…uh here I am!

Andy: I know, right? I mean there I was, not even out to myself much less anyone else and all of a sudden I'm out to the world. It was crazy.

Ellen: Wait…you weren't out to yourself…

Andy: Well, no. I mean it was just Miranda, you know. Before her I never even thought about women. We just had the perfect blend of chemistry, like we were meant to be. At the time everything was so new and exciting and wow, so intensely personal, but that changed all in an instant. It got pretty rough there for a while and we almost didn't make it. I'm so glad we did, though. I'm sorry about the way our lives were turned all upside down, but I'll never be sorry for what we have now.

Ellen (Thinking): So, it's just…a certain fifty-year-old woman and not all fifty-year-old women that you're attracted to?

Andy (Blushing): No, but…No! That's not to say you're not, but…oh god. (Audience and Ellen laugh at Andy's embarrassment) Subject change time: Miranda was really impressed with both of your wedding outfits. She even sent a note over to Zac Posen to tell him to keep up the good work.

Ellen (Smiling, but surprised): She did? Really? Wow…that's…coming from her that's really something.

Andy: No kidding. I think she's planning on a spread next year for the haute couture of gay wedding apparel. Nigel's having a field day.

Ellen: I'll bet he is. Oh, and by the way, my wife and I want to thank you. (Ellen holds up Andy's book) Some of the essays in this collection helped get the word out that Prop 8 was a bad deal and thankfully the people of California chose to do the right thing and we're still married. (Audience applauds) So, you've said you set out to be a journalist, but it seems that you're becoming more of a human rights activist now.

Andy (Nodding): Yeah. Yeah, it's strange, but you know I think it probably would have turned out that way anyway. I mean, anyone living in the world today just cannot not be an activist, you know? As a journalist it's my responsibility to report what's going on in the world, but as a human being and as a woman and now as a gay woman, it's also my responsibility to let people know where injustice is and to do something to fix that. I couldn't live with myself if I didn't. (Audience applauds and Andy smiles shyly.)

Ellen: Well, we thank you for helping to make the world a better place. (Turns to audience) Andy has brought a copy of her book A More Perfect Union for everyone in the audience today as a nice Christmas gift so let's all thank her for that. Andrea Sachs.

(Cut to commercial)

Author's Note: I want to thank somniesperus for letting me use her story The X Ingredient. Thanks to mercurychkita for being my beta and sounding board throughout the whole process. Thanks to xxtorchxx　for letting me use her wonderful manip of our lovely ladies and a really big thanks to my best mate in London, the greatest city in the world, Robert Kidman for making the wonderful poster for the finale and not laughing at me too much when I told him about my DWP obsession.

A really big thanks to the entire dvlwears_prada community for the wonderful feedback I've gotten. I'm happy I was able to bring a little light and fun to everyone for a little while.

On Love and Fashion

Miranda Priestly speaks with GO about redefining life after fifty.

Last year, tabloid gossips spread the news that Runway's Editor-in-Chief Miranda Priestly was carrying on an illicit affair with a woman not only half her age, but her employee as well. Soon after, allegations of sexual harassment resulted in her dismissal from the magazine, a nasty separation and divorce from her third husband, and rumors that she might even lose custody of her twin daughters. In a surprising turn of events, Miranda came out on top and is now stronger than ever, once again the most influential voice of international high fashion.

Miranda Priestly sat down to speak with GO about how sometimes a bad thing can have a good outcome.

As a professional woman, you've had incredible success. You rose to the top position of the world's premier fashion magazine at a relatively young age and you've dominated the fashion world ever since. How did it feel when one rash decision caused all of that to come crumbling down?

Miranda Priestly: How do you think it felt? Everything I had built, everything I had worked for was jeopardized in an instant. All because of some vicious rumors and innuendos.

But some of those rumors were true. You did have an extramarital affair with your young assistant, correct?

MP: Yes, but I'm hardly the first person to make that kind of error in judgment. My god, how quickly you all forget the sordid details of our Chief Executive's bodily fluids spread all over the news. At least I never lied about it.

No, you certainly did not, but do you regret it?

MP: What I regret was the turmoil it brought to the lives of my children and to Andrea's life. It was a terrible time for us all. But do I regret falling in love with the most wonderful, kind, generous and beautiful woman I have ever known? Certainly not.

Later on it became known that your husband was also having an affair. Was that painful for your family as well?

MP: Yes, but aside from the legalities involved with the divorce, it really wouldn't have mattered. Before the news broke in the papers, I had already decided to seek a divorce from Stephen. I knew the girls would be upset, but remaining with Stephen would have been denying a part of myself that I had only just come to realize.

So you had never been interested in women before you met Andrea?

MP: It was more simply a case that I had never realized I was interested in women before Andrea. You have to understand that when I was growing up, the world was a much different place. Proper women were supposed to be as fashionable as Jacqueline Kennedy and just as devoted to their husbands. That was the ideal instilled in me at a young age. Later on, as I began to realize my career ambitions, the general paradigm dictated that it was perfectly acceptable to have a career as long as you had the perfect husband at your side. The challenge was to balance the career and the husband at the same time. I invested so much time and energy into doing just that, I never once took a moment to realize it wasn't the perfect man I was looking for, but the perfect woman.

And Andrea was the perfect woman for you?

MP: Yes. As much as I hate to admit it, she was the only one I had ever met who was able to challenge me on every single level as an equal. It was infuriating that this mere slip of a girl could upset my life so much, force me to realize things about myself I never realized before, things I didn't want to realize.

You don't blame Andrea for what happened, do you?

MP: Of course not; I take full responsibility. That she was strong enough to endure the public muckraking of our lives just made me respect and love her all the more.

How hard did things get between you?

MP: Very hard. There was a long stretch of time – weeks that I care not think about – just after Andrea left Runway in which she refused to speak to me. I can hardly blame her. Her life was in shambles, she was forced to give up her apartment and her parents were trying to get her to move back to Ohio. Ohio! Can you imagine? I tried to help her, of course, but the silly girl refused. Well, not silly I suppose…that's just another part of the strength I admire so much. Thankfully a friend offered her a place to stay until she could get back on her feet. It wasn't until after she landed her job at GO that she finally bowed to Nigel and Emily's insistence that she contact me again.

You mean Nigel Kipling and Emily Charleton, your associates from Runway? They played matchmaker for you two?

MP: Indeed, they have proven themselves very loyal friends to both of us. Surprisingly actually, on Emily's part. She despised Andrea while they worked together, but afterwards they became good friends. How, I have no idea.

There were rumors that you continued to wield control over Runway even after your dismissal. Were they true?

MP: Like most rumors there was a small element of truth in that. Nigel consulted with me on some things, but he did retain control while at the helm. Nigel did an outstanding job. And Emily proved she had abilities that far exceeded my previous expectations. When I returned of course I gave her the promotion she had definitely earned. She hasn't disappointed me yet.

When you returned to Runway, many financial pundits admired your – what some politely termed – "adamantine balls" for manipulating the Elias-Clarke Board of Directors. How much influence did you really have over them forcing out the man who fired you?

MP: I needn't have had any influence at all…the numbers on the financial reports spoke more clearly than I ever could. I'm well aware of my worth to the company and I trusted the board to recognize that as well. They are not stupid…not anymore at least.

Did you really demand an apology from Irv Ravitz?

MP: I demand the people I associate with – whether professionally or personally – to maintain a level of civility. There are things I refuse to tolerate…uncouth behavior is certainly one of them.

You know we have to ask about the National Enquirer's claims you were sexually harassing your assistants. Why do you think they would make that kind of accusation if, as you said, there wasn't at least a small element of truth to it?

MP: To sell papers, why else? Their sales rose considerably, as did Jay Leno's ratings after he called me 'The Predator Editor' during one of his droll monologues. However, without any proof of those claims, the Enquirer's sales dropped back to their normal odious level. As for Leno…well, I'm sure he's enjoying his retirement.

What about Andrea's age? Has that been an issue in your relationship?

MP: I'll admit I was concerned in the beginning…any sane woman would be. Concerned? My god, even I was aghast at how pathetic I appeared. A fifty-year-old woman carrying on with someone half her age? Ridiculous.

What changed your mind?

MP: Andrea, of course. As I mentioned earlier, she is my equal in all things…except for our ages. It did take time, naturally. Andrea is the only one who will dare question me on matters no one has ever dared before. Not because she is acting like a petulant child trying to get her way, but because she is a mature and intelligent individual who can convince me to see all sides of an issue. I respect that. It is, at times, even refreshing.

How do your twin daughters feel about Andrea?

MP: They hated her at first. As much as I tried to shelter them from the dreadful newspapers, they still knew what was happening and they naturally blamed Andrea for it. However, during our separation they could tell how much I missed her. When we reconciled, they gave her a chance and soon Andrea's natural charm won them over. I think that's one area where Andrea's age is an advantage. Being closer to their age, she can relate to the girls in a way that I cannot.

The papers speculated you would lose them because of the scandal, but there was never a danger of that, was there?

MP: No, no. While I may have made bad decisions when it came to choosing husbands, I did manage to choose the one perfect father for my girls. Despite our marital problems, Greg has remained a friend, which helps to maintain stability for the girls. In addition to Nigel, Greg was the best friend I had during that most turbulent time.

And Runway is doing better than ever?

MP: Of course. It always has been and it always shall be my intent that Runway be the best fashion magazine in the world, month after month, issue after issue. That's not going to change any time soon.

You'll continue to bring that high standard to the fashion industry though Runway?

MP: Certainly. When one has set the bar so high, one has to ensure it stays there. For now, I'm content to be that one.

How do you manage to keep those high standards and yet make time for your relationship with Andrea?

MP: The challenge remains as it has always been, needless to say, but this time it's a relationship where two professional women are the participants in the endeavor. Andrea works just as hard as I do and together we struggle to balance our professional lives with our personal lives with the children and it works. At least, it works much better than it ever did with my husbands. I suppose that's because men are not subjected to the same expectations career women are – they are expected to devote more time to their careers even at the expense of their families if need be. A double-standard I know, but it still exists.

How much influence have you had with Andrea's burgeoning career?

MP: Very little, I'll admit. She's determined to stand or fall on her own…that maddening pride of hers again. She came to Runway on the assumption that after her tenure I could help her move up. When that blew up in her face, she set out to prove herself even in light of a scandal that could ruin anyone's career ambitions. That she has succeeded far beyond everyone's expectations makes me very proud.

What does the future hold for you?

MP: Many things I'm sure. My life has been very full and satisfying and now with Andrea by my side it is even more so. Together there is nothing we cannot accomplish. It is something I look forward to very much.

Now for the really big question: Does life in the bedroom get better after fifty?

MP: I can't believe you would even dare ask that kind of question! Well…let me just say that many aspects of my life are utterly spectacular, which is all you're going to get from me regarding that.

Speaking of which, you're notorious for being a very private person. What made you decide to speak with us now?

MP: Again…Andrea. I believe I mentioned how infuriating the woman is. In her journalistic idealism, she has made it her personal crusade to fight for the rights of every one, no matter who they are. She feels that as a prominent member of the community, it is my duty to show the world that I am just like everyone else. Of course, I told her that the very idea that I am like anyone else is totally appalling, but if I expect to get any sleep at night…well, here I am.

On behalf of the community and everyone else, we here at GO are glad you spoke with us today. Is there anything else you'd care to add?

MP: That's all.

The End

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