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ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.

Silly Stranded Thing
By Del

Mmm . . . Hands roamed her body . . . fingers easing down her neck . . . across her breasts . . . gentle pressure on her waist . . . palms sliding up her thighs, beneath the hem of her skirt . . . . "Ohhh," she moaned.

"Alex! Thank God!"

Thank God indeed.

"I don't feel any broken bones," Olivia said. "Are you all right?"

Alex shifted her gaze from the piles of debris spread across the beach to the beautiful woman leaning over her, silhouetted against a sky partially obscured by billows of smoke, looking incredibly sexy in her leather jacket with ash smeared across one cheek.

"I'm not sure," she replied. "There might be something . . . ."

"Where?" Olivia's hands were poised above her.

"Uh, my leg?"

Riiiiiip! Alex suddenly found her skirt slit all the way up the side.

"There," Olivia said. "Now I can examine you more closely." Fingers pressed against her calf. "How does this feel?"

"Um . . ."

Olivia moved up to the knee. "How about this?"

"Oh . . ."

She gently squeezed Alex's thigh. "And this?"

"Ah . . ."

Olivia's hand began moving again, and--

"Hey, you guys." A young man blinked at them through dark black frames.

Argh! "What the fuck do you want?" Alex shouted.

He pointed toward the main beach area. "Everyone's meeting over there, so . . . ."

Alex peered closely at his face. "Hey, those are my glasses!"

"Hand 'em over, Four Eyes," Olivia ordered.

"Finders keepers," he whined. "They match my prescription."

Alex rolled her eyes. "Whatever. I'm wearing contacts anyway."

"Fuck that." Olivia reached out and plucked them from his face. "She needs them." She handed them to the ADA. "You might want to, you know, put them on once in a while." Her eyes lit up. "If you feel like it." She helped Alex to her feet, and together they headed for the area where the others were gathered.

The ADA's gaze swept across the devastation. "Oh, my God," she moaned.

"Yeah, I know." Olivia laid a hand on her shoulder.

"I'll never make my 1 o'clock with Petrovsky. She'll kill me!"

"Alex, I think crash landing on a desert island a thousand miles off course surrounded by smoldering, twisted metal is a pretty good excuse."

"Oh, please! Not with Petrovsky. Does anyone have a cell phone?" The attorney's shout carried through the small beach. "Cell phone, anyone? Damn it!" She plopped onto an upturned piece of fusillage, sliding over for Olivia to join her. Normally, sitting this close to the attractive detective would have put pleasant thoughts into Alex's head, but at the moment she preferred to sulk.

Was this the big meeting? A group of 47, 48 people sitting around gawking at each other, all waiting for someone else to speak? This plane crash was completely disorganized.

A flicker caught Alex's attention. Rising, she strolled over to a scruffy young man in an Eat Me t-shirt. "I wouldn't be smoking this close to that fuel tank," she said. He ignored her, and she tried again. "I really don't believe you should be smoking until we know whether there's fuel residue."

"Why don't you smoke this?" He made one crude gesture with his right hand and another with his left.

He seemed to want a reaction, Alex noted, and she suspected he would soon get one. She lowered herself onto a nearby log to wait.

"Yeah, I thought you might-ack cgh!" His observation was cut short as Olivia Benson grabbed him by the shirt collar.

"This is your captain speaking," she said, yanking his face close to hers. "I have turned on the 'No Smoking' sign." She punched him in the stomach, and he spit out the cigarette.

Captain. Alex let her thoughts wander. Her SVU detective would make captain some day, and Alex would be there, on the front row, applauding as they sewed the stripe onto Olivia's uniform.

Olivia's uniform. Oh, God. The first time she saw Olivia in her police uniform, ADA Cabot had been rendered speechless, her brain fully occupied at that moment with fantasies of Officer Benson looming over her, asserting her authority. After that, Cabot had realized on several occasions that was important to the case to have Detective Benson in uniform again, sometimes night after night, reporting straight to Alex from the field, no matter how late . . . .

"You got anything else to say?" Olivia growled. "I didn't think so. Now, you shut the fuck up and listen to that woman." She jabbed a thumb in Alex's direction.

In the ensuing silence, Alex realized that all eyes were now on her. "Oh. All right," the attorney said, rising to address the group. "I think our first steps are obvious. Someone should start interviewing eyewitnesses to put together a chronology. Admissible testimony only; no hearsay. Another group should check for evidence of a potential manufacturer's defect. Others can work on determining jurisdiction and which law will apply to an assessment of liability."

A moment passed, and then all eyes shifted to Olivia.

"Before we get to those, uh, important legal issues, let's get some other stuff out of the way," Olivia said. She waved a hand at a couple of young women. "You start gathering wood. You guys start spelling out `HELP' with palm fronds," she went on. "If you have enough left over, add `DELTA SUCKS.'"

In the distance, something familiar caught Alex's eye. Yes - her purse! She ran over to it and, as she hoped, found her cell phone tucked safely into its zippered compartment. She quickly dialed a number.

"Donnelly," came the crisp greeting.


"Alex! Where are you? I heard you went down with Benson."

"Not again!" Alex exclaimed. "I've explained that. I was just helping her with her zipper-"

"Was there an explosion?" Donnelly asked.

"No, I swear, I didn't even get her--oh, the plane." Alex shrugged. "No idea."

"How's Benson?"

"You-" Olivia jabbed a beefy man in the pecs. "-go kill something."

Mmm. Quite assertive . . . . "She's fine," Alex replied. Very fine. "Anyway, Liz, I'm supposed to be in Petrovsky's court at one."

Donnelly groaned. "You're dead."

Brilliant! "That might work," Alex said excitedly. No wonder Liz was Chief Deputy. "Didn't Petrovsky decide not to sanction Linley when he died in her court last year? Just tell her that I--" From the corner of her eye, she saw Olivia step onto a sandbar to continue her passionate oration. "Oh, my."


"Oh, uh, nothing. Detective Benson is just . . . ." Hot. Sexy. Hypnotic. "Organizing things."

"OK, folks," the detective said. "We have to assume that we won't be rescued for some time and plan accordingly." She drew off her leather jacket and began rolling up the sleeves of her blouse.

Damn . . . . Alex shook her head and tried to refocus. "By the way, Liz, don't even think about dealing Moriarty while I'm gone," she warned.

"You five will be in charge of food supplies." Olivia was issuing more directives. "Start with fish and edible plant life."

"Wait a minute," Liz said, seeming to think of something. "Do you have one of our new SPH-9300 cell phones?"

Alex checked the back of the device. "Yes," she reported.

"Your group is water--look for fresh water sources or a possible filtration system." Olivia's voice reached her again. "The eight of you are on shelter. Start putting together as many huts as you can as quickly as you can."

"That's terrific!" Liz said. "The SPH-9300 has GPS. We should be able to pinpoint your location within 300 feet."

"Oh, thank God! I do not want to-"

"Alex," Olivia directed her attention toward the ADA, "you'll be the Captain's Woman, keeping up my morale with companionship and sex."

The attorney spun around. "What?"

"I'm sorry," Olivia continued, "but a regular outlet for my physical needs will be essential to maintaining leadership under extreme stress."

Alex gaped at her, then turned back around. "Liz?" she whispered.

"Yes, Alex?"

"You're cutting out."

"Really? You're totally clear."

"Hello? Hello?"

"I'm right here, Alex."

From behind her, Olivia's tone changed slightly. "Maybe it's too much to ask of you, Alex," she said. "We're talking all-nighters, multiple positions, degrading demands . . . ."

"I'll do it!" Seven hands shot up.

"No!" Alex shouted. She turned to face her fellow castaways, holding the phone behind her back. "No, we all have to pull our weight. I'll do my part, no matter how strenuous."

"Don't worry," Olivia said kindly. "If we're rescued right away, it won't come to that." She clapped her hands together. "All right. Everyone ready to do their jobs?"

Alex nodded along with the others - slowly pressing the Off button with her thumb . . . .

The End

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