DISCLAIMER: I don't own them.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
Slow and Steady
By Janine
Nina turned onto her side propping her head on her hand to watch the girl lying beside her.
Dot felt Nina's eyes on her and turned her head to the side, her eyes immediately finding Nina's.
Nina smiled softly and extended her hand towards Dot, her fingers gently brushing some unruly strands of hair off of the brunette's face.
"You're so quiet," Nina said softly. "It's almost like old times."
"Not quite," Dot responded her lips twitching slightly though she didn't actually smile. "You're being nice to me."
Nina smiled and slapped Dot on the arm lightly, but when she settled back into the position she had been in before her eyes were serious and sad.
"It was never you I hated," Nina said softly before flopping down onto the mattress and then shifting slightly so that her head was resting next to Dot's, raven and blonde hair falling together on the same pillow.
"I know," Dot said gently, her fingers drifting up to stroke Nina's cheek lightly before she lowered her hand to the blonde's waist and nudged gently, encouraging Nina to move into her body.
Nina breathed in deeply and shifted on the bed, moving forward a little until Dot was able to comfortably wrap her arm around her waist.
It had been three months since Nina's mother had gone to jail for a murder she and Dot had committed. It had been three months since Nina's father was killed and she no longer had to worry about whether or not he would come to visit her in the night to share is 'love' with her. It had been two and a half months since she and Dot had moved into an apartment in the city as far away from Bay Harbor and their old house as they could get while still remaining in the same state. And in those three months Nina had not spent a night outside of the circle of Dot's arms. However, every dream she'd had before had crumbled inside of her heart like ash, and so every night before Dot's arms wrapped around her there was a part of her that was afraid the other girl wouldn't stay with her and she would be alone again.
"Before," Nina said softly, snuggling against Dot's shoulder. She didn't need to specify when she meant by 'before', it simply meant when 'he' was alive when they were not free. "Michelle asked where I would go if I could anywhere in the world," the blonde continued softly. "There were so many places that swirled through my head, so many places I wanted to run to. But now, there's no other place that I'd rather be than here with you," she finished pulling back slightly so that she could see Dot's face.
"When my father died," Dot began quietly, her eyes blinking rapidly, "I wanted to disappear; to become invisible. I thought I wanted to be alone, that I would spend the rest of my life half-alive, walking around but never being seen or heard. But you saw me," Dot said a single tear escaping from her eye. "You heard me. You brought me back. And I," Dot went on her eyes dropping as she fought to find words to express her feelings. "I … I couldn't think of anywhere else I'd rather be either."
Nina stared at Dot for a long moment after the brunette finished speaking, and then before she was even aware of having the thought, she leaned forward and pressed her lips against Dot's, her hand moving to cup the other girl's jaw as her lips moved against Dot's.
"Nina," Dot breathed out softly when the blonde pulled away from her lips almost a minute later. "You don't have to …" Dot began to say.
"I know," Nina interrupted before Dot could say more. She couldn't bear to have her say more. "This isn't about that," she continued when Dot looked at her questioningly. "This has nothing to do with before," she went on. "It's about now, and you and me, and how we feel. And I've felt like doing that for weeks," Nina finished a nervous smile playing across her lips as she watched Dot.
"I," Dot began blinking, her eyes searching Nina's face before drifting away for a moment and then back to the blonde once again. "I want, I mean I … about you," Dot continued shaking her head slightly. "I feel the same," she said lifting her eyes to meet Nina's again before slowly leaning forward to press her lips against the blonde's in a soft, tender kiss.
"I need to go slowly," Nina said softly when Dot pulled away from her lips. "I'm not ready yet, to …" she continued before trailing off. They both knew what she meant. She was healing, but she wasn't better yet. The scars her father had left would take much longer than they had been free to heal.
Dot nodded seriously, her hand reaching out to brush a few strands of blonde hair behind Nina's ear. She then looped her arm loosely around Nina's waist and put her head back down on the pillow, her affection and concern for the blonde clearly written on her face. She would never do anything to hurt the blonde, or ask something of her she wasn't ready to give. The truth was her first sexual experience hadn't been exactly memorable either and she would be happy to explore slowly with Nina.
Nina smiled widely her expression playful and loving as she stared over at Dot.
"Not that slow," Nina finally said her voice low and teasing before she leaned forward to brush her lips against Dot's again. "Kissing is good."
Dot smiled and parted her lips allowing Nina to deepen the kiss.
Kissing was very good.
The End