DISCLAIMER: Grey's Anatomy is awesome, but it's not mine.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: What if Addison were McDreamy? Like the show, all titles were borrowed from songs. This one belongs to Cree Summer.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
Smooth My Heart
This is really bad. Even for me. I'm not sure if I should open my eyes or keep them closed in the hopes that last night was just a dream. An amazingly sexy dream, but a dream nonetheless. Realizing I don't have a choice, I crack open one eyelid and acclimate myself to the room. Even though it's been two weeks since I packed up and left Boston for the great west it's still weird being back here. Weirder still, is waking up naked on the living room couch with a gorgeously bare body sprawled out on the floor below me. I quickly stand up, grab the blanket barely covering her ass and replace it with a pillow from the couch. It lands kind of roughly, but that's the point. She wakes up pushing fiery red hair out of her eyes.
"Why don't you just come back down here and we'll pick up where we left off." Her voice is raspy with sleep. I try to avoid eye contact.
"No, you have to go." I throw the tight blue jeans that first caught my attention last night over to her. "I'm gonna be late, which is something you don't want to do on your first day."
She stands up and begins to dress. Running her hands through her hair, she looks around my house clothed in only her unbuttoned jeans and the hickey I left just above her right breast. For a moment I think being thirty minutes late might not be so bad. She smiles and I think maybe she can read my mind.
"So you actually live here." Those are the words that come out of her mouth but her eyes are willing the blanket to slip from around my body and fall into a pile on the floor.
This is not how it is supposed to happen. You have drunken sex all night, they leave in the morning. That's how it works. In an effort to get things back on track, I tell her we don't have to do the thing where we make small talk and pretend like we care.
"I agree. I think I can find way more interesting things to do with my mouth." She gives me that smile again and now I'm not sure if it was the jeans or the smile that made me bring her home last night. I don't know what to say so I just let the statement hang between us. Finally, she puts her shirt on and I can think clearly.
"I'm gonna go upstairs and take a shower. When I get back you're not going to be here. So, goodbye . . ."
"Addison," she says with a small laugh.
"Right, Addison." She's amused that I can't remember her name, probably because she can't remember mine. "Meredith." I point to myself.
"Meredith," she says it like she intends to remember it this time. "Nice meeting you." I have expended all of the words I can muster in this situation so I turn around and run up the stairs, praying she'll be gone when I get back.
I'm sitting outside the OR exhausted but the adrenaline coursing through my veins makes me believe I can work another forty-eight hours. To say the day has been eventful would insult the word understatement. On my first day as an intern I find out that the anonymous hot chick I picked up in a bar is my boss. Not just my boss but also the Chief of Neurosurgery. Yet right now that doesn't seem as important as it did this morning when I saw her standing just outside my patient's room clad in dark blue scrubs. I can barely think it, much less say it . . . but I helped save a girl's life today. Me, the one who screws everything up if given half a chance, helped save a girl's life. I stood there looking at her exposed brain on the operating table and I finally understood. I understood why I went to medical school and why I stayed in medical school even when my mother informed me ever so politely that I didn't have what it takes. I did it for this incredible feeling that's making my entire body tingle.
Addison walks from behind me and up to the nurse's station to fill out some paperwork. She doesn't notice me sitting here so I use the opportunity to take her in. She was unbelievable in there. And smart. And incredibly sexy. "That was amazing," I say, getting her attention. "That was such a high; I don't know why anybody does drugs."
"Yeah." She tilts her head to the side as she responds and I know she gets it. Even after doing hundreds of surgeries I can tell with that one word that she still gets that rush. "I'll see you around." She walks down the corridor and my eyes follow her until she just becomes a blurry vision.
I made it through my first shift and I am happy because it's not that bad. In fact, I think everything might just be okay.
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