DISCLAIMER: Not mine. I promise I'm only borrowing them and will return them to their rightful owners whenever they ask for them back. My imagination took a flight of fancy.....my bank account stayed empty. (Seriously, the cast of SVU belong to Dick Wolf and I'm only borrowing them for some free daydreaming that I wrote down.).
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is fluff – I repeat, FLUFF! Anyone expecting serious fic should wander off to something else.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
FEEDBACK: To ncruuk[at]gmail.com
Snaptastic
By ncruuk
"Where's he going?" asked Olivia, her back to their suspect.
"Penguins....c'mon..." decided Elliott, knowing his way around the Central Park Zoo on account of having spent a few too many Saturday afternoons there with his kids.
"You know..." began Olivia conversationally, dodging a running toddler, her hands stuffed deep into her coat pockets in an attempt not to lose a digit to hypothermia, "...he's not doing anything wrong..." she began, earning a rather dirty look from Elliot.
"YET..." her partner corrected, before gesturing around them, "...he's not allowed within 100 feet of a school or playground."
"This is a zoo Elliott..." explained Olivia wearily, her point supported by the sudden trumpeting of the elephants...given how cold her nose was, she could only imagine how nasty the 'flu season was for them.
"Full of children," counter-argued Elliott, his point neatly supported by the sudden wail of waking babies - a double stroller, seconds earlier, had contained sleeping twins...until they were awoken by the elephants.
"It's freezing El..." tried Olivia, nevertheless obediently keeping pace with her partner as they wove through the crowds and tracked their suspect - it was feeding time at the penguin enclosure in five minutes.
"You sound like you had plans..."
"I did." The words were out of her mouth before Olivia could think her comment through.
"You never make plans when the weather's like this...you hate the cold," declared Elliott with the confident authority that only a long-term partner can have.
"Not all plans involve outdoors..." muttered Olivia, stopping suddenly and turning to look at Elliott - she was the only detective their suspect could recognise, and he'd been about to turn around.
"Indoor plans? Like a museum? Cos you don't watch sports..." asked Elliott sceptically, all the while tracking the suspect over her right shoulder.
"Or something..." confirmed Olivia, wondering if the lions were in need of a snack - she was a little chilled, but might work as a canapé.
"You had a date?" asked Elliot, suddenly connecting all the dots, like why his partner was up early on a Saturday morning dressed for a day out, and why she had obviously just finished changing the bed linens.
"No." Denying had never worked before: there was always the first time.
"What's his name?" Amazingly, the first thing that Elliott thought to do was cross-examine his partner for details, not apologise for trashing her day.
"He doesn't have a name," dismissed Olivia, getting impatient about not being able to at least watch the penguin show.
"Got him!" exclaimed Elliott suddenly, losing all interest in their conversation as he produced a small disposable camera from his coat pocket and started taking pictures of what Olivia had to presume was the suspect interacting with children.
"I'm sorry I ruined your date," apologised Elliott as they walked towards the zoo exit, the suspect having left not long after the penguin feeding - it really was far too cold to be out, even for perps.
"You didn't ruin it...I rescheduled," explained Olivia, knowing from experience it wasn't worth getting angry with her partner, especially not when he had been right.
"You did? Great! Can I drop you somewhere?" offered Elliott gallantly.
"No, I'm good," declined Olivia, heading towards the cab rank, only to pause a second.
"Hey El?
"Yeah?"
"Where'd you get that camera?"
"Oh, I grabbed it from your kitchen, it was on the counter...the techs will develop the whole film and you can get the snaps Monday."
"Right..." There was no point getting angry now, he wasn't to know that wasn't the disposable camera she kept in her pocket for taking snaps at scenes to help her remember stuff.
"There a problem?" asked Elliott helpfully, although his concern was somewhat lessened by the broad 'we done good' grin he was sporting.
"No, no problem," sighed Olivia, waving at her partner as she hailed a cab...at least, she hoped there wouldn't be a problem....
"This is nice..." murmured Alex, snuggling deeper into her girlfriend's body as the movie credits rolled.
"Mmmm..." agreed Olivia contentedly, reaching for the remote to shut off the television, "...I'm sorry I missed Serena's party..."
"Stop apologising...you wouldn't have enjoyed it anyway," soothed Alex, pressing a quick kiss to Olivia's knuckle, "...and I quite like us still being a secret..." sighed Alex, smiling lazily at her lover, who suddenly looked really, really uncomfortable.
"About that..." began Olivia, shifting slightly.
"What's the matter?" asked Alex, suddenly full of concern.
"We're not a secret any more...at least, we won't be..." stuttered Olivia, struggling to make any sense.
"You tell Elliott?" asked Alex, not especially concerned - they'd been going out for six months now, without anyone discovering them. The time had come for their friends and colleagues to know.
"No."
"I don't understand."
"You know how I keep a disposable camera in my coat," began Olivia, hoping Alex would catch on quickly.
"Sure...you toss it on the table with your keys and badge and stuff."
"And you know how I'm the only one Peterson's seen, so every time he looked our way, I had to turn my back on him."
"Yes, so Elliott took some pictures?"
"Yes."
"Ah..." Alex thought for a moment, "...I don't get the connection."
"He grabbed the camera from my kitchen counter."
"Ok." Alex still wasn't getting it.
"I dumped my badge and keys in the hall," explained Olivia, waiting for the proverbial light bulb to turn on for her lover.
"So he grabbed..." Alex trailed off and her eyes widened as she realised what had happened, "...he grabbed the one we...?"
"Yes." Alex had never seen Olivia look so sheepish.
"And Elliot finished the film?"
"We'd only left five shots," offered Olivia, as if that helped.
"I remember..." agreed Alex, calmly, before philosophically snuggling back down into Olivia's embrace.
"You're not mad?"
"I'm just picturing John's face when he sees them," decided Alex, before starting to giggle....her good humour soon became infectious.
"Hey, Stabler? You want to wait for Benson?" asked John Munch, waving the crime lab envelope in his direction.
"Nah, go ahead John," directed Elliott, occupied with the coffee pot, "...but our guy's only at the end of the film, some randoms by Liv are first..." he called out, suddenly remembering that he'd finished the film.
"Not random exactly..." commented John thoughtfully as he saw the first picture.
"No?" asked Fin, ambling around to look at what was capturing his partner's attention, "...No..." he confirmed, canting his head to one side as he considered the image whilst letting out a low, long whistle.
"She cut off the head or something?" asked Elliott teasingly, knowing that Olivia's snaps sometimes were, well, creatively composed.
"Or something," agreed Fin, as Munch started sifting through the rest of them, ignoring the last five images of Peterson for the moment.
"What'd she do?" asked Elliott, turning around so he was facing them, preparing to take a slurp of his coffee.
"More like who'd she do," corrected Fin, earning him a pointed look from John: making comments like that was playing with fire. Intrigued, Elliott joined his colleagues.
"Oh shit."
"That's no way to talk about a lady," corrected Munch, looking at another picture.
"No shit," agreed Fin, canting his head to consider one that had caught his attention.
"We're dead," declared Elliott, the full consequence of what was happening to him becoming totally clear.
"That, my friend, you are," agreed Olivia breezily, strolling into the Squad Room in time to hear the end of Elliott's forecast.
"Tasteful shots there Benson," complimented John, attempting to distract his friend away from their immediate and probably painful death.
"Congratulations, to both of you," added Fin, seeing Alex a couple of paces behind Olivia, the blonde also looking surprising relaxed, considering.
"Thank you," accepted Olivia, gathering up the pictures and putting them in her coat pocket, "...but you're still dead, apart from Elliott."
"He lives?" asked Fin, preparing to protest at the unfairness of the situation.
"No...but I get to kill him as well," announced Alex, settling down on the edge of Olivia's desk.
"Why?" asked John, curious.
"You had a date..." interrupted Elliott, completely understanding.
"I had a date..." confirmed Olivia, smiling.
"And I dragged you around Central Park Zoo, tailing the guy with the one detective he'd recognise..." continued Elliott, now understanding. Why hadn't he called Fin?
"You did..." confirmed Alex, enjoying herself far too much.
"I'm an idiot..." decided Elliott, collapsing in his chair, running his hand over his hair...would Olivia ever forgive him?
"Never has a truer word been spoken..." confirmed John, before turning back to his paperwork as chuckles erupted.
"Back to work PEOPLE..." shouted Cragen from his office, all too aware of what was happening courtesy of a confessional phone call the night before from Alex and Olivia.
"Oh, and John?" asked Alex, far too sweetly as she stood, preparing to head out to court.
"Yes Alex?"
"Stop trying to picture my girlfriend naked." As closings went, it was Alex Cabot's shortest....but it was also her best. As she left the squad room, you could have heard a pin drop...until the hysterical laughter started...all, at John Munch's expense.
The End